Maplewood Counseling
Offering Online & In-person Sessions
169 Maplewood Ave Suite 4
Maplewood, NJ 07040
Call Now (973) 793-1000
Some married couples have grown so disconnected overtime that one or both people are ready for a split. You either have been grieving for a long time quietly, maybe alone… and you’ve agonized about this decision for a long time – maybe sharing the Divorce word over and over with your spouse or keeping all of those thoughts to yourself.
It is more rare that both people are on the same page when it comes to ending the marriage.
Does this sound familiar?
You’ve tried for so long to deal with your negative feelings about your spouse
There has been so much disconnect over a long period of time that it’s hard to come back and connect again
You’ve been on the receiving end of so much emotional, mental, verbal abuse or neglect that you just feel done and need help figuring out the next step.
You’ve been working so hard to try and make things better and to make those feelings go away
You feel guilty and don’t want to hurt your husband or wife and tell them you want to divorce
You don’t know what to do and need some help to discuss things in a safe place with a therapist to guide you
Divorce and Breaking up whether you’re married or partnered is painful. Even if you’re with the one that feels like you need to separate, it is not easy.
If you need help from a nonjudgmental, safe relationship or marriage counselor to discuss your feelings and concerns, feel free to get in touch.
When you’re unhappy and trying o figure out the best path forward, counseling can help. Sometimes the relationship can improve and other times, it might best to separate. We help couples trying to decide wha tis best.
Can We Resolve Our Issues?
Disconnected? Been through so much and not sure you can heal from all that has not been working in your marriage or relationship? Need a professional to help you discuss? We can help.
Can We Work Things Out?
Maybe one of you wants to work things out and the other is on the fence or feeling “done”. Counseling can provide a safe place to have this discussion to help you figure things out.
What is Discernment Counseling?
Discerment counseling is a type of counseling that offers disconnected , unhappy, and/or frustrated couples a safe space to discuss what makes sense in terms of the future of their relationship. Couples at a point asking “should we stay together or not” can benefit from discernemnt counseling. Some will decide to commit to therapy for a period of time to see if things can change for the better. Others might decide the best thing is to separate, divorce, or slit up. Typically it is a short term 4-5 session process that helps couples (married and sometimes coupled) decide on a the best path forward. In Discernment Counseling, your therapist will spend some time together with the couple as well as some individual sessions to gain and undestanding of each person’s feelings, experiences, and thoughts about realtionship to fully assess and assist the couple in the decision process.
Discernment Counseling
Helping You Discern the Best Path Forward
Should We Stay Together or split up?
Are you unhappy in your marriage? Are you and your spouse looking for a therapist to help you make some important decisions? Wonder if you should stay and work on marriage or figure out the best way of calling it quits and moving on?
Discernment counseling is a type of therapy couples do when they’re trying to decide whether they need to let go of the marriage. Most couples go to marriage counseling to deal with issues in the marriage and as hard as it’s been, both are committed to working on the relationship. Maybe they are looking to improve communication, find ways to get more connected and deal with conflict. Some men or women are feeling so frustrated, disappointed, sad or angry that divorce becomes a frequent topic. Usually one person has lost hope that things will even be different.
Why Discernment Counseling ?
Discernment counseling helps a couple figure out whether they can stay together or not. Some couples don’t discuss splitting up or divorce on their own and need a safe place to discuss difficult issues. The therapist can help you explore the relationship and where each person is at and why.
Most of the time a couple is not on the same page when it comes to wanting to split up, so it’s important to discern whether there’s anything they can do or if the couple is going to be taking the next step. Discernment counseling is a different approach to working with couples than marriage counseling. Couples sometimes meet up to five times but can stop whenever they feel like they’ve come to a decision. Therapy will involve spending some time together and apart during appointments to discuss what the issues have been in the marriage (good and bad) and what you’ve done to work out your differences. And then there are discussions about staying in the marriage as it is, deciding to move in the direction of divorce or even trying to work with a marriage therapist for several months to see if there’s a way to repair the relationship and reconnect.
Is Discernment Counseling for You?
If you’re grappling with issues such as infidelity, lack of communication, profound loneliness, or indetermination about whether to divorce or reconcile, then Discernment Counseling could be a beneficial step for you.
Distinct from traditional marriage counseling, Discernment Counseling is a unique approach that aids not in mending the marriage, but rather in assisting both partners to discern the best path forward: should you seek marriage counseling to attempt reconciliation, or should you part ways and seek a divorce? This process can lead some couples to commit to relationship improvement over a set period, hoping to alter destructive patterns and rejuvenate their union. Alternatively, others might conclude that it’s in their best interest to part ways.
Even in circumstances where both partners have contrasting desires – one yearning for reconciliation and the other leaning towards divorce – Discernment Counseling can be instrumental. It can guide you through open and clear discussions about your current situation, assisting you in making informed decisions about the fate of your marriage.
DISCERNMENT COUNSELING : What do we do Next?
1. You can keep things status quo and do nothing
2. Take steps to divorce
3. Commit to intensive marriage counseling to see if you can work on issues that have lead you to such a bad place to see if the marriage can be saved.
DISCERNMENT COUNSELING Can Even Help Couples That Disagree:
the therapist listens to both partners and not forcing any outcome
this type of counseling assists couples dealing with conflict
this is not marriage counseling
If you are trying to decide to work on your marriage or feeling like you may need to separate or divorce, discernment counseling may help you figure out the next step.
