Relationship Therapy | A Safe Place for Couples
If you’re at a point in your marriage or relationship where you just cannot resolve things on your own, relationship therapy may help. Therapists will often try and create a safe place for couples to work on resolving their issues. According to Daniel Siegel, MD and therapist, the 4 S’s are needed to create more secure and healthier relationships…to feel SEEN, SAFE, SOOTHED and SECURE. Areas where one or more of these are not met will cause a couple to really struggle.
Is this you?
- you can’t seem to discuss anything without fighting
- you feel your spouse or partner just won’t listen to you
- you escalate into name calling in an attempt to feel heard and understood
- you put up a wall to protect yourself from what feels like a constant attack
- you feel incredibly sad and alone
- you feel desperate to feel heard and understood and can’t seem to make your spouse be there for you
- you’re feeling hopeless about repairing the damage
Relationships are about rupture and repair. We all experience some type of rupture at times. No relationship is immune from dealing with problems. What is important is knowing how to repair the ruptures. To get better and making your spouse feel seen, safe, soothed and secure.
Relationship Therapy Can Help Repair Ruptures
Find ways to help your spouse or partner
- feel seen by becoming better at listening and understanding the internal experience of the other rather than getting defensive. Feeling felt is very important to connection.
- create safety by listening and taking in the other person’s experience and reflecting on what each of you may be feeling
- soothe one another by joining rather than feeling alone and withdrawing from one another
- feel secure and be open and flexible to areas and issues that may be causing insecurity (and also exploring earlier attachment issues that may be getting triggered)
Secure, happy relationships can create such joy as well as improve to your overall health and wellness. You and your spouse or partner can learn how to repair your relationship ruptures better to create a closer connection. If you need relationship therapy in Essex County, NJ, please contact us.