Can Relationship Therapy Help Us Work it Out?
Couples that are disconnected or in crisis often consider splitting up usually ask this question: Can we work it out?
All couples have to deal with issues. Some much more difficult and painful than others. Couples that do not have skills to repair “ruptures” will struggle and over time the result is a disconnect. That lack of connection can cause tremendous damage, loss of hope, feeling alone and make couples feel very unhappy. They sometimes decide to go their separate ways.
Couples that are open (both people) and committed to trying to understand one another and reflect on their own triggers have a much better shot at making it work. This takes a deeper awareness and level of presence and consciousness, which is not easy to achieve if defense mechanisms kick in, which happens for most people.
Effective Relationship Therapy
There are many things that can hep couples repair their conflicts in more effective ways. Level of conscious – understanding you own part it the conflict and where your partner or spouse is coming from is critical. Consciousness will take reflecting on your past, understanding how earlier relationships (neglect, abuse, feeling like you don’t matter) can be the downfall of any relationship. Once painful experiences and feelings from the past get triggered (and there is no awareness of this connection only the pain) by your spouse or parnter, anger – sometimes aggression causes a reaction. As if to say “how dare you trigger my pain”.
What happened when that pain gets triggered is any number of things.
- Angry reactions – yelling, screaming, name calling
- The silent treatment (favorite weapon of some which is emotionally abusive and not a good way of dealing with anger)
- Confusion: The couple that does not understand these issues – cause and effect, will struggle with sadness and confusion.
- Infidelity and a loss of Intimacy:
- Feeling alone, unhappy and disconnected
When you don’t have the communication skills to resolve important issues, your relationship will suffer. You’ll feel disconnected, like you don’t matter, are not appreciated – you or your partner can become vulnerable to splitting up, separation and divorce.
Want to know if there is anything you can do to get better and communicating with one another? Are you both committed to working on the relationship or trying to decide if you should go your separate ways, as painful as that is? Marriage and relationship therapy can help you figure out the next step.