Marriage Problems? Can’t Get Along?
Marriage Problems? Trouble Getting Along?
Sometimes couples are having so many marriage problems they not only dislike one other, they sometimes hate each other. When you cannot feel understood, alone, abused or neglected, your marriage or relationship can start going to a very negative place.
At first in any new relationship, it seems so wonderful. So easy to fall in love, communicate and to get that connection. As time goes on, the way people get triggered by the other person increases. With those triggers comes more arguments, fights and conflict. In some cases, the result is a certain dynamic between the two of you that involves eater pursuing and pushing in an attempt to get what you need or withdrawing, shutting down, putting up a wall to protect yourself from feeling attacked.
Marriage Problems | What to do
Sometimes couples come in and one partner feels like their wife or husband actually “hates me”. I feel like I can’t do anything right and my spouse constantly criticizes me. She/he is always angry over the smallest things. When you are stuck in such a negative place/pattern, you will most likely need help getting out of it – otherwise the relationship is not going to make it. There’s just no way you can both exist feeling so much pain, which is at the heart of the problems anyway.
It’s good to become aware of what’s actually going on. To reflect in a different way on current issues and how issues from the past may be getting triggered. Many couples relive painful childhood experiences triggered by the other person. It’s good to be able to understand this in a different way – maybe you hate feeling the level of pain and that your partner triggers, but understanding what’s going on and what you both need is critical to developing a better connection.
Struggling with marriage problems? Do you need a marital therapist or relationship counselor to help you work on breaking your negative cycle to help you get to a better place?
If you’d like to sit down and discuss and a counseling session, feel free to get in touch and let us know how we can help.