How to Help (or Hurt) a Jealous Spouse?
Understanding How to Help a Jealous Spouse
Does your partner have good reasons to be jealous?
- Did your spouse found out about an affair?
- Do you exchange inappropriate texts and keep texting even though your spouse knows?
- Do you hide your phone, openly or secretly flirt?
- Do you get angry or defensive when your spouse questions you?
- Do You spend time with a co-worker, other person or friends that fuel the fire?
- Has cheating in the past or betrayal been difficult to overcome or “repair”?
- Do you prefer being elsewhere rather than with your spouse?
- Are you using snapchat, Facebook or social media in inappropriate ways?
- Do you send inappropriate photos and pictures?
- Do you do things you shouldn’t and deny it when your spouse questions you?
- Do you put your spouse down or call him or her crazy for being jealous?
In these situations, a jealous spouse makes sense. Maybe things in your relationship have not been going well and you have found these other ways to cope with the problems. Ways that will understandably cause jealousy and problems. Maybe you have not been feeling connected to your wife or husband and want your space or distance. Maybe you argue or fight a lot and feel unhappy at home. It certainly isn’t easy for many families to manage work, kids and all the stressors of day to day life. Many timesrelationships suffer. But things will only get worse if you don’t work on improving your relationship and helping your spouse feel more secure. It will help if you find ways to reconnect in more positive ways and most couples You may need counseling make that happen.
Trouble understanding your jealous spouse?
Sometimes a jealous spouse is not easy to understand. You have never had an affair. You are faithful and do not flirt. You have no interest in anyone but your spouse. However, he or she still struggles with a great deal of insecurity. There are things you can do to help.
Instead of getting angry or defensive, try to respond in different ways. “I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way”, “the last thing I want you to feel is jealous”? “what can I do to help you feel more secure”? “what can I do to let you know you matter to me?” “what can I do so you feel how important you are to me?”
If you want to help your jealous spouse, it is important to understand and examine the things you’re doing that obviously make matters worse. Consider getting help to understand what’s missing and what you’re doing or not doing that can cause jealousy and trust issues. Creating a better connection in your relationship will help you give up the attention you’re seeking elsewhere.
If you haven’t been able to improve things on your own, it’s worth trying marriage counseling with an experienced marital therapist. We look forward to helping you both get to a better place.