Trouble handling anger and conflict in your relationship?
The key to a healthy connected couples is knowing how to repair issues when they come up. Do you react rather than respond when communicating disappointment, frustration, anger or another difficult emotion? Most couples that struggle in these ways develop negative patterns and cycles when it comes to dealing with anger and conflict. This can cause can disconnect and the lack of ability (consciousness/awareness) to understand and repair problems can lead to a divorce or a break-up.
Does this sound familiar?
- Your spouse or significant other gets nasty, critical or aggressive when upset
- Your partner gets defensive when they are angry and does not hear you
- You shut down and your protective wall goes up when your spouse gets angry
- You withdraw when your spouse aggressively pursues you to discuss things
- You can be vindictive and resort to the silent treatment as a form of punishment
- You end up hating your partner for being so mean
- You or your wife or husband end up feeling alone and like you don’t matter
- You feel like you can do nothing right and nothing good you do is noticed
- Your spouse is controlling when angry and you feel he or she needs to control everything
- You need help resolving conflict in ways that make you both feel heard and understood
All couples are going to have conflict – it is unavoidable to have your differences. Relationships that do not know how to resolve and talk about their differences in more positive ways end up feeling a tremendous amount of pain. Sometimes the inability to repair “ruptures” in the marriage or relationship leads to feelings of feelings of hopelessness if the pattern has been going on for a long time.
If you are both committed to trying to do a better job resolving conflict in a relationship, a well trained therapist can help. If you are feeling like the relationship is on the brink, see if there is anyway to rebuild hope and connection and your marriage.
If you’re looking for counseling to see if you can get better at resolving conflict, get in touch.