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Looking for Ways to Improve Your Relationship?

Tools for couples

The good news is that there are ways to improve your relationship, and we can provide you with the tools.

It’s common for people to hit bumps in the road, whether as a couple or in other family relationships.

Getting started with new tools

While there are a number of ways you can work on improving your relationship, we will focus on a few, mostly dealing with communication.

  • Practice mindfulness when communicating. Being mindful about what you say often means keeping a positive perspective. You can work on saying something in a positive light as opposed to expressing it negatively. Instead of saying, “You never help around the house,” you could say, “I appreciate it so much when you help around the house.” Instead of saying, “We need to talk,” you could say, “Whenever we take a few minutes to talk, we have great conversations.”
  • Be appreciative and do things to show your satisfaction. Everyone appreciates an acknowledgement. When your partner does something, you can thank them and praise them for a job well done. You can give your partner a small gift occasionally. Also, frequent physical touch, such as taking their hand, giving them a hug or putting your arm around them lets them know you care.

Tools for stressful Situations

No couples agree on everything, so trying to avoid disagreement is next to impossible. In fact, airing your views can give you a fresh start and actually strengthen your relationship. Learning how to argue amicably helps you resolve your conflicts.

  • Manage your arguments. Try to approach a subject in a way that is not offensive. Rather than pointing out a fault, express your idea with love. For example, avoid saying something in a critical manner, such as, “Tomorrow is my birthday and please make some time for me.” You could say instead, “I’ve love to plan something fun to do with you on my birthday.” If you find yourself in an argument that is growing intense, there is a graceful way to exit. You could say, “You’ve brought up some important ideas and I understand you concerns. I need some time to think about them.” Or you could say something like, “I trust you and appreciate your opinion. We’ll get through this.”
  • Get some space and take time for yourself. There is a saying, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder.” This is true for relationships. You don’t have to go on a long vacation but a little time spent on yourself, even if only a day or a few hours a day, can go a long ways. Whether you like to work out, have a hobby or do meditation, it gives you some breathing room. Physical activity such as jogging or involvement in a sport helps relieve stress. Some people enjoy reading, playing music or keeping a journal. They find it lifts their spirits. Meditation can clear your mind and help you become more aware of things you are grateful for.

Rebuilding your relationship

Just as it’s important to spend time apart, it’s also important to spend time together. You can also make the time you spend higher quality. Here are some tips:

  • Spend time with each other. Do something together that you both enjoy. Perhaps have a date night where you go out to eat or watch a movie together. Take some time to have a meaningful conversation about something you both feel is important. Maybe take time together where it’s just the two of you, alone. Show your partner affection and create greater intimacy with each other. Or, try something new together that you both have an interest in, such as dancing or rock climbing. Head out on a new adventure.
  • Open up your communication. Set time aside each day to talk. Ask your partner about how their day went. Find out what your partner would like to talk about. Then, show interest and listen carefully. Working on becoming a good listener can enhance your communication with each other. Strengthening communication builds more stable interactions.

Seek Outside Help from Counseling for ways to improve your relationship

Couples do not have to wait until their relationship is in dire straits before trying counseling. According to, the idea that marriages tend to break down after seven years is supported statistically. The “seven year itch” is a stage where couples argue more, share less time together, become less affectionate, and in general, feel dissatisfied with their relationship. It is wise to head off conflict before it arises or worsens.

Want to give counseling a try?

Give me a call or text 973-793-1000 to discuss your situation. Try counseling and see. Discover for yourself if it’s right for you.

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