Should We Get Divorced?

Discernment & Marriage Counseling

New Jersey Couples Therapy

Should We Get Divorced?

Feeling unhappy and disconnected in your marriage? Don’t enjoy spending time together anymore? Feel bored and unsatisfied? Do you no longer have sex or intimacy? Wonder if you can get to a better place or … should we get divorced?

Not all couples are able to stay together especially if one person really wants out. A good couples therapist can assess if you are not on the same page with wanting to work things out. One of you might really want to work on things and the other not so much.

Should we get divorced? Does this sound familiar?

You don’t want to hurt your wife/husband, but you’re not happy anymore
Your scared of how this will affect your children
You wonder if you should just suck it up for the sake of the family and deal with being unhappy
You don’t want to be alone
You’re not sure to how to go about doing things in the most respectful way possible
You don’t want to be the one to end things since you will feel judged and like the bad guy
You need help from a professional having that difficult conversation about how you’re feeling

It’s hard if you’re not feeling interested in spending time with your spouse anymore. Maybe you feel bored or not attracted to your spouse anymore.Possibly you’ve changed or your spouse has changed – sadly, it may not feel good to be together anymore. Regardless, it is important for both of you (and your family) to find out how to handle things and what to do..

Should We Get Divorced?

Most of the time as marriage counselors, we see these situations when a couple is not on the same page. One person wants to work on it and stay married and the other does not.

We understand and do not judge these situations. That are hard on everyone. You may want to separate and get divorced after a long period of time of feeling like the relationship is no longer right for you.

Many people fear how this will impact their children, but children will be OK as long as their parents seem OK. Not blaming or putting someone down (as well as others things) will help if you can avoid doing these things in front of the children.

I can actually be more respectful to come forward and separate rather than be miserable, disrespectful, avoidant and unhappy.. When you’ve been married for a long time, even for a short time – taking the steps is not easy.

If you need help from an experienced marriage or relationship counselor, please do feel free to get in touch.

One the Brink of Divorce?

Counseling Couples in Crisis

Relationships

Counseling Couples in Crisis NJ

Marriage & Relationship Therapy

Maplewood Counseling

Counseling Couples in Crisis

Are you looking for a therapist that is experienced counseling couples in crisis? Even more, most couple want help with infidelity, conflict or a family or personal tragedy? If not infidelity, maybe some maybe some other challenge are causing serious problems in your relationship.

As a result, finding a licensed mental health professional, one who is skilled at counseling couples in crisis – is important. In addition, you can find ways better ways to reconnect.

Counseling Couples in Crisis

Couples in crisis are in a bad place for any number of reasons.

A family or personal tragedy
Complicated health issues of yourself or a family member
Infidelity or an affair
Conflict you cannot resolve on your own
Wondering if the relationship is worth saving

Any experienced and compassionate therapist understands how challenging life can be at times personally and in a relationship. In addition, infidelity or an affair, some type of online cheating or another type of trust or betrayal, can cause a crisis. Also, a family or personal tragedy or just feeling pretty disconnected, alone and unhappy in the relationship. Some couples really need help sorting through painful experiences to recover. Most importantly, this work can help couples find better ways to cope and reconnect.

If you need a professional trained in counseling couples in crisis, get in touch

Marriage in Crisis and Considering Divorce?

When Should We Consider Marriage Counseling

Relationships

When to Get Marriage Counseling

NJ Marital Therapy

Experienced Couples Counselors

When to Get Marriage Counseling

Not sure when to get marriage counseling? Have you tried to work things out on your own? It may be time for marriage counseling if you and your spouse been unable to get to a better place?

Because we work with so many couples, we see situations where one person – it can be a wife or husband – has been pleading with their spouse to get marriage counseling. If you don’t listen or haven’t listened to this plea for help, things may deteriorate significantly.

Ideally, if you’re unable to resolve issues and either one or both of you was feeling sad, angry and disconnected, it might be best to reach out to experienced marriage therapist in your area sooner than later. Waiting too long make cause irreparable damage to your

When to get marriage counseling

Does this sound familiar?

You’re on able to communicate effectively and argue constantly
One or both of you are feeling neglected and are pretty shut down
One or both of you are being disrespectful because you can’t get what you need
You or your wife or husband are feeling very disrespected
One or both of you avoid talking and put up a wall to protect yourself.
You haven’t been able to heal from infidelity or another painful issue
You’re not even sure if you want to stay in the marriage anymore

When to Get Marriage Counseling | How to Know

When you’re stuck. Effective marriage counseling can help you understand and work on changing some of the patterns, triggers and cycles that keep you stuck in a bad place.

If you’d like to sit down with an experienced marriage counselor, get in touch.

Trying to Save Your Marriage?

Need Counseling for Marital Problems?

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

Counseling for Marital Problems

NJ Couples Therapy

Maplewood Counseling

Relationship or Marital Problems?

Are you feeling unhappy and disconnected in your marriage or relationship? Have you tried to resolve issues on your own? Feeling like you need more help at this point?

There so many reasons couples get disconnected. Does this sound familiar?

You feel overwhelmed by work and family responsibilities and you have no energy left for your relationship.
You have a tendency to make work a priority and your spouse or partner feels like they don’t matter.
You’re on the receiving end of a wife or husband that does not give you what you need.
You have trouble understanding exactly why your partner gets so angry, but it pushes you away.
You argue and fight about the smallest and most ridiculous things and are not sure what to do about it

If you’ve tried to work things out on your own and you haven’t been able to get anywhere, and experienced couples and marriage counselor can help you get better at listening and trying to understand in a very safe place.

When you start to feel really unhappy and disconnected the relationship is no longer safe for either person. What you do at that point is what can make or break the relationship.

If you need a safe place to work through and discuss your issues, get in touch.

Need Help Improving Your Relationship/

Do You Fight Over Your In-Laws?

Anxiety, Relationships

Problems With In-Laws?

Family & Marital Therapy

Fights over in laws?

Do you need help resolving in-law issues?

You’re not alone if you struggle and fight about your parents or your spouses parents. Even if in-laws mean well, it doesn’t always translate into their actions.

So many couples struggle dealing with a mother-in-law or father-in-law. It can be so complicated and cause one spouse to feel like they’re in the middle and they want their partner to get along with their parent (s)

Easier said than done.Are you constantly hearing “you didn’t protect me”, “ you didn’t stand up for me me “, “Your mom or parents are awful to me and you say nothing”. Do you feel your wife or husband does things that offend your family? Do you fear saying something to your family even though you can understand what your spouse feels? Do you struggle understanding and see what your parents are doing that might bother your wife or husband? It does make sense if you are used to the way your parents do things and your spouse is not, then you might not really understand why they are having such a hard time. These situations are delicate and you can work through them so that there isn’t so much pain and anger and disconnect.

There are somethings you both can do to get better at understanding and being there for each other through these in-law ups and downs. Discussing in a safe place with a trained and experienced marital therapist (or coupes counselor) for starters. A place where you can get help listening and understand and validating the experience rather than defending against or arguing.

Get in touch if you’re having a lot of problems dealing with a mother-in-law or Other in law’s. It’s common in relationships and there is something you can do.

In a Disconnected Relationship?

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

Disconnected Relationship ?

Couples & Marriage Counseling

Maplewood Counseling

In a Disconnected Relationship?

Unable to listen or understand one another?

What causes disconnect?

When you resort to constant criticism when you can’t get through and feel heard
If you feel like you don’t matter and are not important
Because you don’t feel safe enough emotionally to hang in there when one of you are upset and argue
If you hold back and do not share how you feel since it seems gets you nowhere
When you defend yourself instead of really trying to understand and listen to you partner’s concerns
Since you need help approaching rather than avoiding dealing with issues
Because you are not kind, empathetic and compassionate

The Disconnected Relationship

If you understand what makes it difficult it will help you do a better job in your relationship. Maybe there is a lack of awareness of how past experiences and role models are influencing the way relate today. So if you are both open and willing, you can get better at these very important things…listening, understanding, accepting, supporting and forgiving.

Most importantly, the very things that helps couples feel more connected are feeling important, safe, and comforted in times of need. Therefore, this is what will help improve communication, intimacy, heal from infidelity and many other difficult issues. Also this will hep you deal with parenting, in-law or other family conflict. Understanding your patterns and breaking habits will help you move in the right direction. It is not an instant process and takes work learn how be there (in ways your partner needs not what you think they need), be open (listen, reflect on the past to become more aware, and try to understand) , be honest (saying how your really feel in ways the other person will be more inclined to hear it) and be kind (see what makes it difficult to be kind, empathetic and compassionate) .

From disconnected relationship to secure, connected relationship.

If you are willing and open, you can work on the things that will make you feel more connected and “wanted”. It will be very worthwhile in connecting in your relationship in ways that feel good to both of you.

Need help making this happen? Are you both open to change? Get in touch and let us know. We’re here when you’re ready.