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Maplewood Counseling
Debra Feinberg, LCSW
Essex County New Jersey

Maplewood Counseling
Debra Feinberg LCSW
169 Maplewood Ave Suite 4
Maplewood, NJ 07040
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In a Disconnected Relationship?

by | Apr 9, 2018 | Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

In a Disconnected Relationship?

Unable to listen or understand one another?

What causes disconnect?

  • When you resort to constant criticism when you can’t get through and feel heard
  • If you feel like you don’t matter and are not important
  • Because you don’t feel safe enough emotionally to hang in there when one of you are upset and argue
  • If you hold back and do not share how you feel since it seems gets you nowhere
  • When you defend yourself instead of really trying to understand and listen to you partner’s concerns
  • Since you need help approaching rather than avoiding dealing with issues
  • Because you are not kind, empathetic and compassionate

The Disconnected Relationship

If you understand what makes it difficult it will help you do a better job in your relationship. Maybe there is a lack of awareness of how past experiences and role models are influencing the way relate today. So if you are both open and willing, you can get better at these very important things…listening, understanding, accepting, supporting and forgiving.

Most importantly, the very things that helps couples feel more connected are feeling important, safe, and comforted in times of need. Therefore, this is what will help improve communication, intimacy, heal from infidelity and many other difficult issues. Also this will hep you deal with parenting, in-law or other family conflict. Understanding your patterns and breaking habits will help you move in the right direction. It is not an instant process and takes work learn how be there (in ways your partner needs not what you think they need), be open (listen, reflect on the past to become more aware, and try to understand) , be honest (saying how your really feel in ways the other person will be more inclined to hear it) and be kind (see what makes it difficult to be kind, empathetic and compassionate) .

From disconnected relationship to secure, connected relationship.

If you are willing and open, you can work on the things that will make you feel more connected and “wanted”.  It will be very worthwhile in connecting in your relationship in ways that feel good to both of you.

Need help making this happen? Are you both open to change? Get in touch and let us know. We’re here when you’re ready.

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