Unhappy and Feel Alone?

Unhappy Relationship?

Things Need to Change?

Relationship in trouble? When is it time for relationship therapy?

Many couples consider therapy early on when they start having issues with communication and other difficult issues. Others wait a long time hoping things will get better trying to fix things themselves. It is only when one person has just about given up hope do they call a therapist for help. All relationships take work – even loving, healthy ones. Getting outside help from a professional is a big step for some couples, but when you’ve tried to fix things on your own and it hasn’t helped, it is time to consider marriage or couple therapy before you call it quits.

When therapy can help. Here are a few indicators….

1. Frequent finger pointing – problems are always your fault and your spouse does not understand his or her part

No matter what is done, somehow you cannot seem to get through to your spouse or partner. It may be hard to listen an understand one another without feeling defensive and blaming.

2. Communication styles vary and make it difficult yo resolve issues

The relationship seems to be out of whack when it comes to one person’s ability to express anger and the other just shutting down or putting up a wall. It’s hard to express yourself in a way that your spouse can take it in.

3. One of you is working harder at the relationship than the other

You are always the one that is trying and putting all the effort into the relationship. Not only do you feel drained and exhausted, but you feel very underappreciated. For all the effort you put in, you feel you deserve something in return, yet it never comes.

4. Afraid to express yourself if it causes your spouse or partner to get angry

Even though there may be issues, you prefer not to argue or fight because you are so worried about your partner reacting instead of responding. A good therapist can help many couples get better at listening and responding rather than reacting and make it safer to express yourself.

5. Trust and betrayal
Do you feeling insecure in your relationship? Does it feel like your spouse or partner is hiding something? Did you find out about an affair? When a couple struggles with trust for any reason it is important to find ways to create more trust and a security for relationship to improve.

If you struggle with one or more of these issues, therapy can help. Many couples can improve their relationship if they are open to working with an experienced couples therapist.

Relationship Therapy | Creating a Safe Place

Relationships

Relationship Therapy NJ

All Relationships

Relationship Therapy | A Safe Place for Couples

If you’re at a point in your marriage or relationship where you just cannot resolve things on your own, relationship therapy may help. Therapists will often try and create a safe place for couples to work on resolving their issues. According to Daniel Siegel, MD and therapist, the 4 S’s are needed to create more secure and healthier relationships…to feel SEEN, SAFE, SOOTHED and SECURE. Areas where one or more of these are not met will cause a couple to really struggle.

Is this you?

you can’t seem to discuss anything without fighting
you feel your spouse or partner just won’t listen to you
you escalate into name calling in an attempt to feel heard and understood
you put up a wall to protect yourself from what feels like a constant attack
you feel incredibly sad and alone
you feel desperate to feel heard and understood and can’t seem to make your spouse be there for you
you’re feeling hopeless about repairing the damage

Relationships are about rupture and repair. We all experience some type of rupture at times. No relationship is immune from dealing with problems. What is important is knowing how to repair the ruptures. To get better and making your spouse feel seen, safe, soothed and secure.

Relationship Therapy Can Help Repair Ruptures

Find ways to help your spouse or partner

feel seen by becoming better at listening and understanding the internal experience of the other rather than getting defensive. Feeling felt is very important to connection.
create safety by listening and taking in the other person’s experience and reflecting on what each of you may be feeling
soothe one another by joining rather than feeling alone and withdrawing from one another
feel secure and be open and flexible to areas and issues that may be causing insecurity (and also exploring earlier attachment issues that may be getting triggered)

Secure, happy relationships can create such joy as well as improve to your overall health and wellness. You and your spouse or partner can learn how to repair your relationship ruptures better to create a closer connection. If you need relationship therapy in Essex County, NJ, please contact us.

Need Relationship Therapy in NJ?

Relationships

Relationship Therapy NJ

Couples Counseling New Jersey

Maplewood Counseling

Looking for Relationship Therapy in NJ?

Does this sound familiar?

You feel sad and alone in your marriage or relationship
You are not a priority or last on the list
You feel your partner is not there for you
There is little to no intimacy or sex anymore
Your spouse does not talk to you for days (or weeks) when you’ve had a fight
You are exhausted trying to manage everything and you never get enough help
You’re ready to call it quits because it feels hopeless
You have a new baby and things are so much worse now
You’re wondering if your relationship or marriage can be saved
We hear from many men and women trying to find help for their relationship. They are so upset, sad, angry or frustrated and don’t know what to do. They have so much invested emotionally and financially, so it’s understandable they’re searching for ways to change patterns that are not working – or making things a lot worse, for that matter.

If you and your spouse or partner are at a point where you just can’t seem to resolve your differences, or are feeling so angry and distant that you are miserable, therapy may help.

If you’re looking for relationship therapy in NJ, Feel free to contact us at 973-902-8700 or email us if that’s easier.

How to Find and Keep Love Going

Relationships

How to Find Love

Finding and Keeping Love Going

Get in Touch

The Mathematics of Love

Dr. Hannah Fry is a mathematician and complexity scientist from University College London’s Centre for Advanced Spatial Analysis. Her work revolves around exploring the patterns in human behavior and applying a mathematical perspective to tackle a wide range of problems across our society – read more

Couples Therapy

Maplewood Counseling provides relationship counseling for couples who are trying to improve their relationship. Our office in located in Essex County in Northern New Jersey. Services we provide: marriage counseling, or couples therapy for all types of relationship issues.

Anxiety, Depression, Grief

Get help for depression, anxiety, grief, or low self esteem. Therapy can help if you are going through a difficult time such as coping with a divorce or break-up. A good therapist can help you improve the way you feel, help you get through a difficult time and work on making positive changes.

Coping With a Life Crisis

Do you need help getting through a painful time in your life? Are you dealing with an affair or infidelity? Trying to survive a lonely, painful time? Is your child struggling? Are you or a loved one coping with a crisis or serious health issues? Trying to deal with and help aging parents?