Relationship in trouble? When is it time for relationship therapy?
Many couples consider therapy early on when they start having issues with communication and other difficult issues. Others wait a long time hoping things will get better trying to fix things themselves. It is only when one person has just about given up hope do they call a therapist for help. All relationships take work – even loving, healthy ones. Getting outside help from a professional is a big step for some couples, but when you’ve tried to fix things on your own and it hasn’t helped, it is time to consider marriage or couple therapy before you call it quits.
When therapy can help. Here are a few indicators….
1. Frequent finger pointing – problems are always your fault and your spouse does not understand his or her part
No matter what is done, somehow you cannot seem to get through to your spouse or partner. It may be hard to listen an understand one another without feeling defensive and blaming.
2. Communication styles vary and make it difficult yo resolve issues
The relationship seems to be out of whack when it comes to one person’s ability to express anger and the other just shutting down or putting up a wall. It’s hard to express yourself in a way that your spouse can take it in.
3. One of you is working harder at the relationship than the other
You are always the one that is trying and putting all the effort into the relationship. Not only do you feel drained and exhausted, but you feel very underappreciated. For all the effort you put in, you feel you deserve something in return, yet it never comes.
4. Afraid to express yourself if it causes your spouse or partner to get angry
Even though there may be issues, you prefer not to argue or fight because you are so worried about your partner reacting instead of responding. A good therapist can help many couples get better at listening and responding rather than reacting and make it safer to express yourself.
5. Trust and betrayal
Do you feeling insecure in your relationship? Does it feel like your spouse or partner is hiding something? Did you find out about an affair? When a couple struggles with trust for any reason it is important to find ways to create more trust and a security for relationship to improve.
If you struggle with one or more of these issues, therapy can help. Many couples can improve their relationship if they are open to working with an experienced couples therapist.