Maplewood Counseling

Not Getting What You Want

Not Getting What You Want

Dealing with Life Challenges
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Not Getting What You Want, Getting What You Don’t Want

There are so many things that can really make us struggle. Not getting what we want or expect or getting what we don’t want, can really cause a great deal of suffering and pain.

If only…

  • I had more money
  • I had a better marriage or relationship
  • I had a better body or physical appearance
  • My child would be a better student or do what I say
  • I was not alone and in a relationship
  • I was more successful
  • I had a better job or career
  • Had a bigger, better house
  • My spouse, son or daughter did not disappoint me

Getting What You Don’t Want

Struggling with…

  • Cancer or another serious illness
  • an ill spouse, child or parent
  • tragic death of a loved one
  • divorce or a failed marriage
  • a partner or spouse that is not there for you
  • loss of your home or job
  • a high level of anger, resentment and bitterness
  • financial insecurity and worries

If you or a family member are looking for ways to deal with not getting what you want or the opposite, there are several resources to help with these difficult thoughts and emotions. Being open and flexible to various resources (books, support groups and therapy) can be a great help.

Some of our other blog articles have resources and books that may be of interest as well. We hope you find this information helpful in your search for making more peace with your present reality.

If you need counseling to help accept circumstances and deal with emotional pain, get in touch. 

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How to Not Care What People Think

What People Think of Us

How to Not Care
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Struggling with What others Think of You?

Is this you?

  • You fear criticism and judgment from others
  • You constantly doubt yourself
  • What others think of you affects the way you feel about yourself
  • It’s hard to be yourself because you fear of being criticized by others

Listen to this video by vulnerability researcher and social worker Brené Brown

Why Your Critics Aren’t The Ones Who Count

 

This is something so many men and women struggle with… how to not care what people think. If you find this video helpful, I  recommend viewing any or all of Brené Brown’s videos. She speaks to many of about the importance of and power of vulnerability as well as understanding shame and unworthiness.

We hope you find this information as helpful as we do.

 

 

The Benefits of Self Compassion

Benefits of Self Compassion

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This video explains how awareness of your thoughts and feelings can help you be kinder toward yourself — and why this “self-compassion” brings many physical and mental health benefits.

We hope you find this video helpful.

The Beauty of Kindness and Compassion

Kindness & Compassion

What Connects Us Most
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The Beauty of Kindness and Compassion

Do you know what it’s like to show kindness and compassion? Here is what kind and compassionate gestures looks like. It is beautiful to give and receive.

Dan Siegel emphasizes compassion as a key component of a healthy mind.

The founding director of the Greater Good Science Center explains how humans are wired for compassion.

Can’t Get Therapy? Try Gratitude and Kindness – learn more

What Supportive Relationships Have in Common

Supportive Relationships

Create Meaningful Connections
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What Supportive Relationships Have in Common

Do you know what’s it’s like to feel supported? Cared about? Understood?  Supportive relationships have several things in common. They’re about being there when someone is in need, whether they’re feeling sad or excited about something. Supportive relationships are comforting, caring and warm. They can make you feel you’re not alone when things are not going well and help you get through life’s ups and downs.

The photo below shows a man showing support, kindness and compassion. He is comforting his wife, who is feeling sad or in pain. Some people find it hard to be there for their spouse or partner. Some find it easy to show kindness and compassion to their children, but not their partner. What makes it so hard for some people to be there?

Supportive Relationships – Trying to Get More Support?

What makes it hard for you to be more supportive?

Is this you?

It feels like my partner or spouse

  • doesn’t understand me
  • never listens to me
  • doesn’t care about me
  • isn’t there for me
  • can’t be trusted
  • always criticizes me and I can never do anything right
  • always try to fix something when I’m sad, which doesn’t help
  • just wants me to “get over it”
  • doesn’t understand emotions and says “I shouldn’t feel sad or angry”

It is possible for some couples to develop more supportive relationships. It is something we all want and deserve. If you’re having trouble being supportive to or  feeling supported by your partner, counseling may help.