Do You Fight Over Your In-Laws?

Problems With In-Laws?

Family & Marital Therapy

Fights over in laws?

Do you need help resolving in-law issues?

You’re not alone if you struggle and fight about your parents or your spouses parents. Even if in-laws mean well, it doesn’t always translate into their actions.

So many couples struggle dealing with a mother-in-law or father-in-law. It can be so complicated and cause one spouse to feel like they’re in the middle and they want their partner to get along with their parent (s)

Easier said than done.Are you constantly hearing “you didn’t protect me”, “ you didn’t stand up for me me “, “Your mom or parents are awful to me and you say nothing”. Do you feel your wife or husband does things that offend your family? Do you fear saying something to your family even though you can understand what your spouse feels? Do you struggle understanding and see what your parents are doing that might bother your wife or husband? It does make sense if you are used to the way your parents do things and your spouse is not, then you might not really understand why they are having such a hard time. These situations are delicate and you can work through them so that there isn’t so much pain and anger and disconnect.

There are somethings you both can do to get better at understanding and being there for each other through these in-law ups and downs. Discussing in a safe place with a trained and experienced marital therapist (or coupes counselor) for starters. A place where you can get help listening and understand and validating the experience rather than defending against or arguing.

Get in touch if you’re having a lot of problems dealing with a mother-in-law or Other in law’s. It’s common in relationships and there is something you can do.

In a Disconnected Relationship?

Anger and Conflict

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Need Help with Anger?

Trouble handling anger and conflict in your relationship?

The key to a healthy connected couples is knowing how to repair issues when they come up. Do you react rather than respond when communicating disappointment, frustration, anger or another difficult emotion? Most couples that struggle in these ways develop negative patterns and cycles when it comes to dealing with anger and conflict. This can cause can disconnect and the lack of ability (consciousness/awareness) to understand and repair problems can lead to a divorce or a break-up.

Does this sound familiar?

- Your spouse or significant other gets nasty, critical or aggressive when upset
- Your partner gets defensive when they are angry and does not hear you
- You shut down and your protective wall goes up when your spouse gets angry
- You withdraw when your spouse aggressively pursues you to discuss things
- You can be vindictive and resort to the silent treatment as a form of punishment
- You end up hating your partner for being so mean
- You or your wife or husband end up feeling alone and like you don’t matter
- You feel like you can do nothing right and nothing good you do is noticed
- Your spouse is controlling when angry and you feel he or she needs to control everything
- You need help resolving conflict in ways that make you both feel heard and understood

All couples are going to have conflict – it is unavoidable to have your differences. Relationships that do not know how to resolve and talk about their differences in more positive ways end up feeling a tremendous amount of pain. Sometimes the inability to repair “ruptures” in the marriage or relationship leads to feelings of feelings of hopelessness if the pattern has been going on for a long time.

If you are both committed to trying to do a better job resolving conflict in a relationship, a well trained therapist can help. If you are feeling like the relationship is on the brink, see if there is anyway to rebuild hope and connection and your marriage.

If you’re looking for counseling to see if you can get better at resolving conflict, get in touch.

Learn How to Deal with Conflict and Strengthen Your Relationship

Conflict in Relationship?

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

Conflict in Your Relationship

New Jersey Couples Counseling

Conflict in Your Relationship?

Conflict in your relationship or marriage? We all have to deal with conflict in our relationships. When two people come together from different needs and backgrounds, there is bound to be conflict. We all have different abilities to really take in and understand the other person. It can be very difficult to communicate effectively when things get hard. Couples sometimes have unrealistic expectations and an inability to understand what the other person need. This causes great disappointment. We can all get hooked by unconscious triggers based on our conditioning. The end result? Conflict that leads to great disappointment, hurt and anger.

Ruptures are bound to happen in all relationships. It’s not the ruptures that become the problem as much as how well a couple can “repair” the rupture and understand one another.

What is Your Pattern When You Have Conflict?

We get very angry at one another and hurl insults and criticism
One of us goes on the attack and the other withdraws and puts up a wall, which only makes things worse
We both used to fight and it got us nowhere so now we just both just give up and stop talking, sometimes for days or weeks

Author, psychiatrist and therapist Daniel Siegel explores relationships and attachment in detail in his books. Here refers to the 4 Ss and what is needed for healthy attachment and relationships. How very important it is for us all to feel:

SEEN
SAFE
SOOTHED
SECURE

How our early attachment figures responded to us emotionally (or didn’t respond in many cases) will most likely be the way we end up relating in our romantic relationships. It has a lot to do with the ability (or inability) to understand one another and repair problems in our relationships. If a person did not any or all of the combination of seen, safe, soothed or secure, they might most likely will struggle with similar issues in their adult relationships. Reliving the past over and over is extremely painful. It can cause rage, anger, deep sadness and feelings of rejection, and ultimately like you don’t matter.

Getting Help with Conflict in Relationship

With help, a couple can learn how to take in the external experience of the other person and help them feel seen, safe, soothed and secure. Learning to emotionally respond to your spouse or partner can help you connect in deeper and more meaningful ways.

If you’re looking for a relationship or marriage therapist in New Jersey, contact us now at 973-902-8700 or email us if that’s easier for you.

Need Help Resolving Family Conflict?

Need a Parenting Coach?

Relationships

Need a Parenting Coach?

We Can Help

Get in Touch

Need a Parenting Coach

Are you looking for a parenting coach because you’re struggling with understanding how to handle things with a child or teenager?

Does this sound familiar?

you get angry and frustrated with your child’s behavior
your child does not listen to you
your child seems withdrawn, angry or fearful.
Parenting issues cause a rift in your marriage or relationship
you realize what you’re doing is not helping or making things worse
you don’t like your child’s behavior and feel ashamed of how it makes you feel about your child
your child is especially disrespectful and oppositional
you feel sad and disappointed in how your child is doing in school
you’re child is having a lot of problems socially or with other family members
you are in a power struggle and want to force your child to do certain things and wonder
You and your spouse or partner fight about the kids
you want to know if your child coping with depression and/or anxiety and what to do about it

I recently saw to the Disney movie Inside Out (which I recommend for parents and kids of all ages). What an excellent movie in how it depicts the struggle of kids (and parents) with understanding and expressing emotions. The movie shows 5 characters playing named Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust, in the mind the mind of the child. It also shows how Joy tries to make sure Sadness never touches any part of the memories of the child. Ultimately, we see how very important sadness is for the child in the movie to express.

Kids usually don’t understand what they are feeling. They don’t know what is going emotionally and need help. Moms and dads try and cope with the behavior that results from their child’s confusion, and it is sometimes very challenging to say the lead.

Children and adolescents need help understanding and expressing their emotions, especially sadness. Anger, disgust and fear seems to be much easier to express. Usually underneath is sadness. It is not easy for anyone.

A parenting coach or therapist can help you understand what your child triggers in you which leads to certain very unpleasant reactions. Does your child’s issues make you feel like a bad parent? Does it trigger fear or feelings of inadequacy? Get help with how to handle things in ways that feel better to everyone. You can find ways to manage your own emotions and reactivity as you try to help you your child. If you need a help with parenting issues and you live or work in or around Essex County, NJ, feel free to contact us.

Need Family Therapy in NJ?

Gay Issues, Relationships

Find Family Therapy

Essex County New Jersey

Get in Touch

Need Family Therapy NJ?

Are you looking for family therapy in NJ? Family therapy helps family members going through a stressful time in the family. They can work on resolving conflict and improving communication and work together on issues that affect the entire family. It is short term therapy that focuses on the entire “system” to help with certain issues and problems.

Does this sound familiar?

You’re having trouble with parenting or sibling issues
You need help with step-family or blended family issues
You argue and fight about differences in parenting styles
The family is coping with grief after a loss of a loved one
A family member is dealing with depression and/or anxiety
Your teenager is depressed, anxious or having trouble fitting in
Your child is gay, lesbian or transgender and it has been hard to accept
You are trying to support and help a family member

Even when one family member is in their own treatment for an issue, it can be helpful for the family to work on a family situation that causes stress, anger, grief or conflict to help bring you closer during difficult times.

Need Help Resolving Family Conflict?

Relationships

Resolving Family Conflict

Couples & Families

Get in Touch

Resolving Family Conflict and Healing Relationships

Are you struggling to resolve conflict with a family member? Are you feeling a mix of emotions about the rupture? Do you feel stuck in the middle between other family members that are not getting along. Not sure how to repair things or what to do?

Does this sound familiar?

You feeling disappointed by things that your mother or father has done to you over time
You had a falling out with your adult brother or sister or other family member
You’re not even sure it is possible to resolve certain issues
You’ve always been the type of person that cuts people out of your life when they hurt you
You feel very sad about family relationships that cause more pain than anything else
You’re in-laws do not treat you well and it causes problems between you and your spouse
You are not happy about the way your spouse deals with things with your step-children
You feel stuck in the middle between your spouse and your children ( including blended family problems)

Many people want to know what, if anything, they can do to make things better. If you’re not sure how to resolve or forgive or you’re hanging onto anger or resentment. If you’re looking fore help resolving family conflict, therapy can help.

If you work or live in Northern New Jersey and need counseling to help in resolving family conflict, contact us or call 973-902-8700 if that’s easier for you.