Maplewood Counseling

Conflict in Relationship?

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

Conflict in Your Relationship

New Jersey Couples Counseling

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

Conflict in Your Relationship?

Conflict in your relationship or marriage? We all have to deal with conflict in our relationships. When two people come together from different needs and backgrounds, there is bound to be conflict. We all have different abilities to really take in and understand the other person. It can be very difficult to  communicate effectively when things get hard. Couples sometimes have unrealistic expectations and an  inability to understand what the other person need. This causes great disappointment. We can all get hooked by unconscious triggers based on our conditioning. The end result? Conflict that leads to great disappointment, hurt and anger.

Ruptures are bound to happen in all relationships. It’s not the ruptures that become the problem as much as how well a couple can “repair” the rupture and understand one another.

What is Your Pattern When You Have Conflict?

  • We get very angry at one another and hurl insults and criticism
  • One of us goes on the attack and the other withdraws and puts up a wall, which only makes things worse
  • We both used to fight and it got us nowhere so now we just both just give up and stop talking, sometimes for days or weeks

Author, psychiatrist and therapist Daniel Siegel explores relationships and attachment in detail in his books. Here refers to the 4 Ss and what is needed for healthy attachment and relationships. How very important it is for us all to feel:

  • SEEN
  • SAFE
  • SOOTHED
  • SECURE

How our early attachment figures responded to us emotionally (or didn’t respond in many cases) will most likely be the way we end up relating in our romantic relationships. It has a lot to do with the ability (or inability) to understand one another and repair problems in our relationships. If a person did not any or all of the combination of seen, safe, soothed or secure, they might most likely will struggle with similar issues in their adult relationships. Reliving the past over and over is extremely painful. It can cause rage, anger, deep sadness and feelings of rejection, and ultimately like you don’t matter.

Getting Help with Conflict in Relationship

With help, a couple can learn how to take in the external experience of the other person and help them feel seen, safe, soothed and secure. Learning to emotionally respond to your spouse or partner can help you connect in deeper and more meaningful ways.

If you’re looking for a relationship or marriage therapist in New Jersey, contact us now at 973-902-8700 or email us if that’s easier for you.

 

Need Help Resolving Family Conflict?

Need a Parenting Coach?

Need a Parenting Coach?

Relationships

Need a Parenting Coach?

We Can Help
Get in Touch

Need a Parenting Coach

Are you looking for a parenting coach because you’re struggling with understanding how to handle things with a child or teenager?

Does this sound familiar?

  • you get angry and frustrated with your child’s behavior
  • your child does not listen to you
  • your child seems withdrawn, angry or fearful.
  • Parenting issues cause a rift in your marriage or relationship
  • you realize what you’re doing is not helping or making things worse
  • you don’t like your child’s behavior and feel ashamed of how it makes you feel about your child
  • your child is especially disrespectful and oppositional
  • you feel sad and disappointed in how your child is doing in school
  • you’re child is having a lot of problems socially or with other family members
  • you are in a power struggle and want to force your child to do certain things and wonder
  • You and your spouse or partner fight about the kids
  • you want to know if your child coping with depression and/or anxiety and what to do about it

I recently saw to the Disney movie Inside Out (which I recommend for parents and kids of all ages). What an excellent movie in how it depicts the struggle of kids (and parents) with understanding and expressing emotions. The movie shows 5 characters playing named Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust, in the mind the mind of the child. It also shows how Joy tries to make sure Sadness never touches any part of the memories of the child. Ultimately, we see how very important sadness is for the child in the movie to express.

Kids usually don’t understand what they are feeling. They don’t know what is going emotionally and need help. Moms and dads try and cope with the behavior that results from their child’s confusion, and it is sometimes very challenging to say the lead.

Children and adolescents need help understanding and expressing their emotions, especially sadness. Anger, disgust and fear seems to be much easier to express. Usually underneath is sadness. It is not easy for anyone.

A parenting coach or therapist can help you understand what your child triggers in you which leads to certain very unpleasant reactions. Does your child’s issues make you feel like a bad parent? Does it trigger fear or feelings of inadequacy? Get help with how to handle things in ways that feel better to everyone. You can find ways to manage your own emotions and reactivity as you try to help you your child. If you need a help with parenting issues and you live or work in or around Essex County, NJ, feel free to contact us.

Family Therapy in Essex County, NJ | Maplewood Counseling

Family Therapy in Essex County, NJ | Maplewood Counseling

Gay Issues, Relationships

Strengthening Your Family: A Collaborative Path to Connection

Strengthening Your Family: A Collaborative Path to Connection

In Essex County, New Jersey, families are like unique constellations, each with its own pattern of stars, light, and occasional darkness. When challenges arise, it can feel like your family’s balance is disrupted, affecting everyone. At Maplewood Counseling, we believe that every family unit, no matter its shape or size, possesses the strength to navigate these challenges together. Our approach to family therapy is rooted in collaboration and empowerment, creating a safe space where you can reconnect, communicate, and grow stronger as a team.

Is your family navigating a difficult chapter? Perhaps some of these situations feel familiar:

  • You feel like you’re speaking different languages, leading to constant arguments and misunderstandings.
  • Parenting styles are clashing, creating tension and inconsistency for your children.
  • Your family is adapting to a new structure, such as a blended family, and struggling to find harmony.
  • A shared loss has left everyone grieving in different ways, making it hard to support one another.
  • One member is facing mental health challenges, and the entire family is feeling the impact.
  • You’re learning to support a loved one who has come out as LGBTQ+, and you want to do it with love and understanding.

It’s common for families to face these hurdles. You don’t have to face them alone. Family therapy offers a supportive environment to transform these challenges into opportunities for growth and deeper connection.

How Family Therapy Empowers Your Family

Family therapy is different from individual counseling because it views the family as a whole system. Instead of focusing on one person as the “problem,” we look at the dynamics and relationships between everyone. The goal isn’t to assign blame but to empower each member to contribute to a healthier, more supportive family environment.

We see therapy as a collaborative process. Your therapist acts as a guide, helping your family:

  • Build Bridges in Communication: Learn to truly listen and express yourselves in ways that foster understanding, not conflict. We’ll help you replace patterns of arguing with constructive dialogue.
  • Resolve Conflicts with Empathy: Acquire tools to navigate disagreements respectfully. You can learn to solve problems together, strengthening your family’s resilience.
  • Support Each Other Through Change: Life transitions, from a new baby to a teenager leaving for college, can be stressful. Therapy provides a space to manage these changes as a unified team.
  • Create a Nurturing Home Environment: Work together to build a home where every member feels seen, heard, valued, and safe to be their authentic self.

Our practice is a welcoming space for all families, including single-parent households, blended families, LGBTQ+ families, and multi-generational homes. We are here to support your unique journey.

Book Your Session

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What if one family member is hesitant to attend therapy?
A: This is a very common concern. Our therapists are skilled at creating a non-judgmental atmosphere where everyone feels comfortable and heard. Often, the most reluctant member finds the process rewarding once they experience the supportive environment. We can start with who is willing and work from there.

Q: Will the therapist take sides?
A: Absolutely not. The therapist’s role is to be a neutral facilitator who supports the entire family unit. Our goal is to ensure every voice is heard and to help the family find solutions that work for everyone, rather than siding with one individual.

Q: How long does family therapy typically last?
A: The duration of therapy varies depending on your family’s specific goals and challenges. Some families find resolution for a specific issue in just a few sessions, while others may benefit from longer-term support to work on more deep-seated patterns. We will tailor the approach to your unique needs.

Q: Our problems feel too big and complicated for therapy. Can you still help?
A: No problem is too big or too small for therapy. Complex challenges are often a sign that a family could truly benefit from professional guidance. We are trained to help you break down overwhelming issues into manageable steps, guiding you toward a path of healing and connection.

Take the First Step Toward a Stronger Family

Your family has the power to transform its challenges into lasting strength and connection. If you’re ready to start building a more harmonious future together, we’re here to guide you.

Get Care Now

Explore Our Related Services:

Need Help Resolving Family Conflict?

Relationships

Resolving Family Conflict

Couples & Families
Get in Touch

Resolving Family Conflict and Healing Relationships

Are you struggling to resolve conflict with a family member? Are you feeling a mix of emotions about the rupture? Do you feel stuck in the middle between other family members that are not getting along.  Not sure how to repair things or what to do?

Does this sound familiar?

  • You feeling disappointed by things that your mother or father has done to you over time
  • You had a falling out with your adult brother or sister or other family member
  • You’re not even sure it is possible to resolve certain issues
  • You’ve always been the type of person that cuts people out of your life when they hurt you
  • You feel very sad about family relationships that cause more pain than anything else
  • You’re in-laws do not treat you well and it causes problems between you and your spouse
  • You are not happy about the way your spouse deals with things with your step-children
  • You feel stuck in the middle between your spouse and your children ( including blended family problems)

Many people want to know what, if anything, they can do to make things better.   If you’re not sure how to resolve or forgive or you’re hanging onto anger or resentment. If you’re looking fore help resolving family conflict, therapy can help.

If you work or live in Northern New Jersey and need counseling to help in resolving family conflict, contact us or call 973-902-8700 if that’s easier for you.

 

Caring for Aging Parents in NJ | Support for Caregivers

Depression

The Unspoken Weight of Caring for Aging Parents

 

Caring for Aging Parents: Navigating the Sandwich Generation

Do you find yourself caught in a delicate balancing act, juggling your own life, career, and family while also managing the growing needs of your aging parents? One moment you might feel deep love and gratitude, and the next, a wave of exhaustion, guilt, or resentment. This complex blend of emotions is a normal part of the caregiving journey, yet it’s a role that often leaves you feeling isolated and overwhelmed.

The shift from being the child to becoming the caregiver is one of life’s most profound and challenging transitions. It’s a path filled with logistical hurdles, emotional strain, and difficult conversations. If you are struggling with the stress, the difficult decisions, or the impact this role is having on your own well-being and relationships, please know you are not alone. There is a way to navigate this chapter with more grace, less guilt, and a stronger sense of peace for both you and your parents.

Navigating the Emotional Landscape of Caregiving

Being a caregiver for an aging parent is more than just a list of tasks; it’s an emotional marathon. You may be facing a reality you never expected, one where the parents who once cared for you now depend on you for their health, safety, and happiness. This role reversal can unearth a wide range of powerful and often conflicting feelings.

Do any of these experiences sound familiar?

  • The Weight of Worry: You are in a constant state of low-grade anxiety, worrying about their health, a potential fall, or whether they are lonely. This worry can follow you throughout your day, making it hard to focus on your own life.
  • A Sense of Guilt: You feel guilty for not doing enough, for feeling impatient, or for wanting time for yourself. When you do take a break, you may feel like you should be with them instead.
  • Growing Resentment: You might feel resentful of the time and energy caregiving demands, or of siblings who don’t seem to be helping as much. These feelings are often followed by more guilt, creating a painful cycle.
  • Overwhelming Sadness and Grief: You are grieving the loss of your parent as you once knew them. Watching their health decline or their memory fade is a form of anticipatory grief that is deeply painful.
  • Strained Family Dynamics: The stress of caregiving can put immense pressure on your marriage, your relationship with your children, and your siblings. Old family conflicts may resurface, and new ones can emerge over decisions about care.

Acknowledging these feelings is not a sign of weakness or a lack of love. It is a sign that you are human, and that the burden you are carrying is heavy. Validating your own emotional experience is the first step toward finding a more sustainable way to care for your parents and for yourself.

Strategies to Lighten the Load and Find Balance

You cannot pour from an empty cup. To be an effective and compassionate caregiver, you must prioritize your own well-being. This isn’t selfish; it is essential for both you and your parents. Here are some practical strategies to help you navigate this role with greater strength and resilience.

1. Set Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are about defining what you can and cannot do. They are crucial for preventing burnout.

  • Define Your Limits: Be realistic about how much time, money, and emotional energy you can give. It’s okay to say no or to delegate. Your parents’ needs may be endless, but your resources are not.
  • Communicate with Siblings: Hold a family meeting to discuss roles and responsibilities. Even if siblings live far away, they can contribute financially or by managing bills and appointments online.
  • Protect Your Own Family Time: Schedule and guard the time you have with your partner and children. Your role as a spouse or parent is just as important as your role as a caregiver.

2. Practice Radical Self-Compassion

Caregiving is one of the toughest jobs in the world. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend in your situation.

  • Acknowledge Your Efforts: At the end of each day, take a moment to recognize what you did accomplish, rather than focusing on what you didn’t. You are doing the best you can in a difficult situation.
  • Let Go of “Perfect”: There is no perfect way to be a caregiver. You will make mistakes. You will have moments of frustration. Forgive yourself.
  • Schedule “Non-Negotiable” Self-Care: This isn’t about grand vacations. It’s about small, consistent moments of replenishment. It could be a 20-minute walk, a coffee with a friend, or simply listening to music without interruption.

3. Seek and Accept Support

Trying to do everything yourself is a recipe for burnout. Building a support system is a sign of strength, not weakness.

  • Find a Support Group: Connecting with other caregivers can be incredibly validating. You’ll realize your feelings are normal and can learn practical tips from people who truly understand.
  • Lean on Your Community: Don’t be afraid to ask for help from friends, neighbors, or members of your faith community. People often want to help but don’t know how. Be specific: “Could you pick up some groceries for my mom this week?”
  • Explore Professional Resources: Look into local resources in Essex County, such as home health aides, meal delivery services, or adult day programs. These services can provide essential respite for you and valuable social interaction for your parent.

How Counseling Can Be Your Lifeline

You don’t have to carry this weight on your own. Therapy provides a confidential, non-judgmental space for you to process the complex emotions of caregiving. A counselor can act as your dedicated support system, helping you untangle the knots of guilt, grief, and family conflict.

At Maplewood Counseling, we offer specialized support for caregivers throughout New Jersey. Whether you prefer the convenience of telehealth sessions from your home or the connection of in-person appointments at our Essex County location, we are here to help you:

  • Develop personalized strategies to manage stress and anxiety.
  • Navigate difficult family conversations with confidence.
  • Process feelings of grief and resentment without judgment.
  • Establish and maintain healthy boundaries.
  • Rediscover your own identity outside of your caregiving role.

Investing in your own mental health is the most loving thing you can do for yourself and your entire family.

 

Book Your Session

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

How do I handle a parent who refuses help or is resistant to change?
This is a very common challenge. It often stems from their fear of losing independence. The key is to approach conversations with empathy, focusing on their desire for safety and autonomy. Frame suggestions as choices that empower them. For example, “Mom, having someone come in to help with meals a few times a week could give you more energy for your gardening.” A therapist can help you script these difficult conversations.

I feel so guilty taking time for myself. How do I get over that?
Caregiver guilt is pervasive. It helps to reframe self-care not as a luxury, but as a necessity for sustainable caregiving. Start small with short, scheduled breaks. Remind yourself that by recharging, you are ensuring you can be a more patient and present caregiver in the long run. Support groups are excellent for normalizing these feelings.

My siblings aren’t helping, and I’m growing resentful. What can I do?
Unbalanced responsibilities are a major source of conflict. It’s best to address this directly and calmly, without blame. Call a family meeting and come prepared with a clear list of tasks that need to be done. Frame it as a team effort to provide the best care for your parent. Counseling can help you navigate these dynamics and communicate your needs more effectively.

Is it normal to feel like I’m grieving even though my parent is still here?
Yes, this is called anticipatory grief. You are mourning the loss of your parent’s health, their future, and the relationship you once had. It is a real and valid form of grief. Therapy provides a safe space to process these complex emotions and honor what you are losing.

Find Your Support System Today

Your role as a caregiver is a testament to your love, but your well-being matters just as much. If you are in Essex County or anywhere in New Jersey and are ready to find a healthier balance, we are here to help.

Contact Maplewood Counseling today to schedule a consultation. Let us provide you with a safe space to find strength, support, and peace on your caregiving journey.

Get Care Now

Helpful Resources

 

Teen Counseling: Benefits for Your Adolescent’s Well-Being

Teen Counseling: Benefits for Your Adolescent’s Well-Being

Anxiety, Depression, Gay Issues, Grief, Relationships

How Teen Counseling Can Help Your Adolescent Thrive

Teen Counseling: Benefits for Your Adolescent's Well-Being

The teenage years can feel like a whirlwind, both for adolescents and the people who care about them. It’s a time of immense growth, self-discovery, and change, but it can also bring significant challenges. Navigating academic pressure, social dynamics, and the intense emotions that come with this stage of life can feel overwhelming. As a parent, guardian, or educator, you want to provide the best support, but it’s not always clear what that looks like.

If you’ve noticed your teen struggling, withdrawing, or simply not seeming like themselves, you’re not alone. These can be signs that they need a space to process their feelings with someone outside the family. Teen counseling provides a confidential, supportive environment where adolescents can gain invaluable tools to navigate their challenges. It’s not about “fixing” a problem; it’s about empowering your teen to build resilience, self-awareness, and healthy coping skills that will last a lifetime.

What are the Benefits of Teen Counseling?

Therapy offers a unique space for teens to explore their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. A professional counselor can help them unpack complex emotions and develop practical strategies for managing them. Here are some of the key ways counseling can make a profound difference in an adolescent’s life.

1. Develops Stronger Communication Skills

It can be difficult for teens to articulate what they’re feeling. The combination of hormonal changes and social pressures can make open communication, especially with family, feel challenging. Counseling sessions teach teens how to express their needs and emotions respectfully and effectively. They learn active listening and how to voice their perspective calmly, which can transform family dynamics from a place of conflict to one of connection.

2. Enhances Emotional Regulation

Adolescence is a time of intense emotions. Mood swings, anxiety, and frustration can feel overwhelming for teens who haven’t yet developed the skills to manage them. A therapist can introduce practical tools like mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, and cognitive reframing. These techniques help teens recognize their emotional triggers and respond to them in healthier ways, rather than feeling controlled by their feelings. For example, a teen struggling with anxiety before exams can learn grounding techniques to stay calm and focused.

3. Improves Self-Esteem and Confidence

Low self-esteem is common during the teenage years, as social comparisons and self-doubt take root. A teen might believe they aren’t smart enough, attractive enough, or capable enough. Counseling provides a space to challenge these negative self-perceptions. A therapist offers impartial, affirming support, helping teens identify their strengths, celebrate their progress, and cultivate a more compassionate inner voice. This shift in mindset empowers them to approach challenges with greater confidence.

4. Builds Healthier Relationships

The social world of a teenager is complex. Navigating friendships, peer pressure, and romantic interests can be tricky. Counseling equips teens with the tools to build and maintain healthy relationships. They can work through issues like bullying, social anxiety, or conflict with friends in a safe setting. By learning to set boundaries, communicate assertively, and choose supportive friendships, they lay the foundation for positive connections throughout their lives.

5. Provides Coping Strategies for Mental Health Challenges

For teens dealing with mental health conditions like anxiety, depression, or the effects of trauma, counseling is a crucial support system. A licensed counselor can provide evidence-based therapies, such as Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), to help teens understand and manage their symptoms. Therapy gives them a dedicated space to process their experiences and develop effective coping strategies, preventing these challenges from escalating and impacting their long-term well-being.

6. Boosts Problem-Solving Skills

From managing a heavy workload at school to resolving a disagreement with a friend, teens are constantly faced with problems to solve. Counseling helps them develop critical thinking skills to navigate these obstacles. In therapy, they can talk through a problem, brainstorm potential solutions, consider the consequences of different actions, and make informed decisions. This process builds their confidence and independence, preparing them to handle life’s challenges more effectively.

7. Supports Academic Performance

A teen’s emotional state is directly linked to their performance in school. When they are struggling with anxiety, depression, or low self-worth, it can be nearly impossible to focus on their studies. Counseling addresses these underlying emotional and psychological barriers. By learning to manage stress and improve their mental health, teens can regain their focus and motivation, leading to better engagement and success in their academic pursuits.

Book Your Session

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

How do I know if my teen needs counseling?
Common signs include significant changes in mood or behavior, withdrawal from friends and family, a drop in grades, difficulty sleeping or eating, or expressing feelings of hopelessness. If you’re concerned, opening a gentle conversation about the possibility of talking to someone can be a good first step.

My teen is resistant to the idea of therapy. What should I do?
This is a common concern. Frame it as a way to get support from a neutral person who is just for them. You can say something like, “I know things have been tough lately, and I thought it might be helpful to have someone you can talk to who isn’t me or anyone else in the family.” Involving them in the process of choosing a therapist can also give them a sense of control.

What is the parent’s role in teen counseling?
While your teen’s sessions are confidential, a good therapist will typically involve parents or guardians at key points. This might include initial intake sessions, periodic check-ins (with the teen’s consent), or family sessions to work on communication and dynamics at home. Your role is to be a source of support and encouragement throughout the process.

Is teen counseling confidential?
Yes, confidentiality is a cornerstone of therapy. A therapist will not share what your teen discusses in their sessions. The only exceptions are if the teen expresses a desire to harm themselves or others, or if they report abuse. This trust is essential for the teen to feel safe enough to open up.

Empower Your Teen to Build a Brighter Future

The teenage years are full of potential. While challenges are a natural part of this journey, they don’t have to define it. Providing your teen with the support of a compassionate, professional counselor is one of the most powerful things you can do to help them build a foundation of resilience, emotional intelligence, and self-worth.

If you believe your teen could benefit from having a dedicated space to navigate their world, we are here to help. Contact us to connect with an experienced therapist who can guide your adolescent on their path to becoming a thriving, confident adult.

Get Care Now

Helpful Resources

Couples Counseling

Parenting Support