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Do You Fight Over Your In-Laws?

Problems With In-Laws?

Family & Marital Therapy

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

Fights over in laws?

Do you need help resolving in-law issues?

You’re not alone if you struggle and fight about your parents or your spouses parents. Even if in-laws mean well, it doesn’t always translate into their actions.

So many couples struggle dealing with a mother-in-law or father-in-law. It can be so complicated and cause one spouse to feel like they’re in the middle and they want their partner to get along with their parent (s)

Easier said than done.Are you constantly hearing “you didn’t protect me”, “ you didn’t stand up for me me “, “Your mom or parents are awful to me and you say nothing”. Do you feel your wife or husband does things that offend your family? Do you fear saying something to your family even though you can understand what your spouse feels? Do you struggle understanding and see what your parents are doing that might bother your wife or husband? It does make sense if you are used to the way your parents do things and your spouse is not, then you might not really understand why they are having such a hard time.  These situations are delicate and you can work through them so that there isn’t so much pain and anger and disconnect.

There are somethings you both can do to get better at understanding and being there for each other through these in-law ups and downs.   Discussing in a safe place with a trained and experienced marital therapist (or coupes counselor) for starters. A place where you can get help listening and understand and validating the experience rather than defending against or arguing.

Get in touch if you’re having a lot of problems dealing with a mother-in-law or Other in law’s. It’s common in relationships and there is something you can do.

Anger and Conflict

Need Help with Anger?

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Trouble handling anger and conflict in your relationship?

The key to a healthy connected couples is knowing how to repair issues when they come up. Do you react rather than respond when communicating disappointment, frustration, anger or another difficult emotion? Most couples that struggle in these ways develop negative patterns and cycles when it comes to dealing with anger and conflict. This can cause can disconnect and the lack of ability (consciousness/awareness) to understand and repair problems can lead to a divorce or a break-up.

Does this sound familiar?

    • Your spouse or significant other gets nasty, critical or aggressive when upset
    • Your partner gets defensive when they are angry and does not hear you
    • You shut down and your protective wall goes up when your spouse gets angry
    • You withdraw when your spouse aggressively pursues you to discuss things
    • You can be vindictive and resort to the silent treatment as a form of punishment
    • You end up hating your partner for being so mean
    • You or your wife or husband end up feeling alone and like you don’t matter
    • You feel like you can do nothing right and nothing good you do is noticed
    • Your spouse is controlling when angry and you feel he or she needs to control everything
    • You need help resolving conflict in ways that make you both feel heard and understood

All couples are going to have conflict – it is unavoidable to have your differences. Relationships that do not know how to resolve and talk about their differences in more positive ways end up feeling a tremendous amount of pain. Sometimes the inability to repair “ruptures” in the marriage or relationship leads to feelings of feelings of hopelessness if the pattern has been going on for a long time.

If you are both committed to trying to do a better job resolving conflict in a relationship, a well trained therapist can help. If you are feeling like the relationship is on the brink, see if there is anyway to rebuild hope and connection and your marriage.

If you’re looking for counseling to see if you can get better at resolving conflict, get in touch.

Call 973-902-8700 Maplewoood Counseling

 

 

Learn How to Deal with Conflict and Strengthen Your Relationship

Conflict in Relationship?

Conflict in Your Relationship

New Jersey Couples Counseling

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

Conflict in Your Relationship?

Conflict in your relationship or marriage? We all have to deal with conflict in our relationships. When two people come together from different needs and backgrounds, there is bound to be conflict. We all have different abilities to really take in and understand the other person. It can be very difficult to  communicate effectively when things get hard. Couples sometimes have unrealistic expectations and an  inability to understand what the other person need. This causes great disappointment. We can all get hooked by unconscious triggers based on our conditioning. The end result? Conflict that leads to great disappointment, hurt and anger.

Ruptures are bound to happen in all relationships. It’s not the ruptures that become the problem as much as how well a couple can “repair” the rupture and understand one another.

What is Your Pattern When You Have Conflict?

  • We get very angry at one another and hurl insults and criticism
  • One of us goes on the attack and the other withdraws and puts up a wall, which only makes things worse
  • We both used to fight and it got us nowhere so now we just both just give up and stop talking, sometimes for days or weeks

Author, psychiatrist and therapist Daniel Siegel explores relationships and attachment in detail in his books. Here refers to the 4 Ss and what is needed for healthy attachment and relationships. How very important it is for us all to feel:

  • SEEN
  • SAFE
  • SOOTHED
  • SECURE

How our early attachment figures responded to us emotionally (or didn’t respond in many cases) will most likely be the way we end up relating in our romantic relationships. It has a lot to do with the ability (or inability) to understand one another and repair problems in our relationships. If a person did not any or all of the combination of seen, safe, soothed or secure, they might most likely will struggle with similar issues in their adult relationships. Reliving the past over and over is extremely painful. It can cause rage, anger, deep sadness and feelings of rejection, and ultimately like you don’t matter.

Getting Help with Conflict in Relationship

With help, a couple can learn how to take in the external experience of the other person and help them feel seen, safe, soothed and secure. Learning to emotionally respond to your spouse or partner can help you connect in deeper and more meaningful ways.

If you’re looking for a relationship or marriage therapist in New Jersey, contact us now at 973-902-8700 or email us if that’s easier for you.

 

Need a Parenting Coach?

Need a Parenting Coach?

Need a Parenting Coach?

We Can Help
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Need a Parenting Coach

Are you looking for a parenting coach because you’re struggling with understanding how to handle things with a child or teenager?

Does this sound familiar?

  • you get angry and frustrated with your child’s behavior
  • your child does not listen to you
  • your child seems withdrawn, angry or fearful.
  • Parenting issues cause a rift in your marriage or relationship
  • you realize what you’re doing is not helping or making things worse
  • you don’t like your child’s behavior and feel ashamed of how it makes you feel about your child
  • your child is especially disrespectful and oppositional
  • you feel sad and disappointed in how your child is doing in school
  • you’re child is having a lot of problems socially or with other family members
  • you are in a power struggle and want to force your child to do certain things and wonder
  • You and your spouse or partner fight about the kids
  • you want to know if your child coping with depression and/or anxiety and what to do about it

I recently saw to the Disney movie Inside Out (which I recommend for parents and kids of all ages). What an excellent movie in how it depicts the struggle of kids (and parents) with understanding and expressing emotions. The movie shows 5 characters playing named Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust, in the mind the mind of the child. It also shows how Joy tries to make sure Sadness never touches any part of the memories of the child. Ultimately, we see how very important sadness is for the child in the movie to express.

Kids usually don’t understand what they are feeling. They don’t know what is going emotionally and need help. Moms and dads try and cope with the behavior that results from their child’s confusion, and it is sometimes very challenging to say the lead.

Children and adolescents need help understanding and expressing their emotions, especially sadness. Anger, disgust and fear seems to be much easier to express. Usually underneath is sadness. It is not easy for anyone.

A parenting coach or therapist can help you understand what your child triggers in you which leads to certain very unpleasant reactions. Does your child’s issues make you feel like a bad parent? Does it trigger fear or feelings of inadequacy? Get help with how to handle things in ways that feel better to everyone. You can find ways to manage your own emotions and reactivity as you try to help you your child. If you need a help with parenting issues and you live or work in or around Essex County, NJ, feel free to contact us.

Family Therapy in Essex County, NJ | Maplewood Counseling

Family Therapy in Essex County, NJ | Maplewood Counseling

Strengthening Your Family: A Collaborative Path to Connection

Strengthening Your Family: A Collaborative Path to Connection

In Essex County, New Jersey, families are like unique constellations, each with its own pattern of stars, light, and occasional darkness. When challenges arise, it can feel like your family’s balance is disrupted, affecting everyone. At Maplewood Counseling, we believe that every family unit, no matter its shape or size, possesses the strength to navigate these challenges together. Our approach to family therapy is rooted in collaboration and empowerment, creating a safe space where you can reconnect, communicate, and grow stronger as a team.

Is your family navigating a difficult chapter? Perhaps some of these situations feel familiar:

  • You feel like you’re speaking different languages, leading to constant arguments and misunderstandings.
  • Parenting styles are clashing, creating tension and inconsistency for your children.
  • Your family is adapting to a new structure, such as a blended family, and struggling to find harmony.
  • A shared loss has left everyone grieving in different ways, making it hard to support one another.
  • One member is facing mental health challenges, and the entire family is feeling the impact.
  • You’re learning to support a loved one who has come out as LGBTQ+, and you want to do it with love and understanding.

It’s common for families to face these hurdles. You don’t have to face them alone. Family therapy offers a supportive environment to transform these challenges into opportunities for growth and deeper connection.

How Family Therapy Empowers Your Family

Family therapy is different from individual counseling because it views the family as a whole system. Instead of focusing on one person as the “problem,” we look at the dynamics and relationships between everyone. The goal isn’t to assign blame but to empower each member to contribute to a healthier, more supportive family environment.

We see therapy as a collaborative process. Your therapist acts as a guide, helping your family:

  • Build Bridges in Communication: Learn to truly listen and express yourselves in ways that foster understanding, not conflict. We’ll help you replace patterns of arguing with constructive dialogue.
  • Resolve Conflicts with Empathy: Acquire tools to navigate disagreements respectfully. You can learn to solve problems together, strengthening your family’s resilience.
  • Support Each Other Through Change: Life transitions, from a new baby to a teenager leaving for college, can be stressful. Therapy provides a space to manage these changes as a unified team.
  • Create a Nurturing Home Environment: Work together to build a home where every member feels seen, heard, valued, and safe to be their authentic self.

Our practice is a welcoming space for all families, including single-parent households, blended families, LGBTQ+ families, and multi-generational homes. We are here to support your unique journey.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What if one family member is hesitant to attend therapy?
A: This is a very common concern. Our therapists are skilled at creating a non-judgmental atmosphere where everyone feels comfortable and heard. Often, the most reluctant member finds the process rewarding once they experience the supportive environment. We can start with who is willing and work from there.

Q: Will the therapist take sides?
A: Absolutely not. The therapist’s role is to be a neutral facilitator who supports the entire family unit. Our goal is to ensure every voice is heard and to help the family find solutions that work for everyone, rather than siding with one individual.

Q: How long does family therapy typically last?
A: The duration of therapy varies depending on your family’s specific goals and challenges. Some families find resolution for a specific issue in just a few sessions, while others may benefit from longer-term support to work on more deep-seated patterns. We will tailor the approach to your unique needs.

Q: Our problems feel too big and complicated for therapy. Can you still help?
A: No problem is too big or too small for therapy. Complex challenges are often a sign that a family could truly benefit from professional guidance. We are trained to help you break down overwhelming issues into manageable steps, guiding you toward a path of healing and connection.

Take the First Step Toward a Stronger Family

Your family has the power to transform its challenges into lasting strength and connection. If you’re ready to start building a more harmonious future together, we’re here to guide you.

Need Help Resolving Family Conflict?

Resolving Family Conflict

Couples & Families
Get in Touch

Resolving Family Conflict and Healing Relationships

Are you struggling to resolve conflict with a family member? Are you feeling a mix of emotions about the rupture? Do you feel stuck in the middle between other family members that are not getting along.  Not sure how to repair things or what to do?

Does this sound familiar?

  • You feeling disappointed by things that your mother or father has done to you over time
  • You had a falling out with your adult brother or sister or other family member
  • You’re not even sure it is possible to resolve certain issues
  • You’ve always been the type of person that cuts people out of your life when they hurt you
  • You feel very sad about family relationships that cause more pain than anything else
  • You’re in-laws do not treat you well and it causes problems between you and your spouse
  • You are not happy about the way your spouse deals with things with your step-children
  • You feel stuck in the middle between your spouse and your children ( including blended family problems)

Many people want to know what, if anything, they can do to make things better.   If you’re not sure how to resolve or forgive or you’re hanging onto anger or resentment. If you’re looking fore help resolving family conflict, therapy can help.

If you work or live in Northern New Jersey and need counseling to help in resolving family conflict, contact us or call 973-902-8700 if that’s easier for you.