Conflict in your relationship or marriage? We all have to deal with conflict in our relationships. When two people come together from different needs and backgrounds, there is bound to be conflict. We all have different abilities to really take in and understand the other person. It can be very difficult to communicate effectively when things get hard. Couples sometimes have unrealistic expectations and an inability to understand what the other person need. This causes great disappointment. We can all get hooked by unconscious triggers based on our conditioning. The end result? Conflict that leads to great disappointment, hurt and anger.
Ruptures are bound to happen in all relationships. It’s not the ruptures that become the problem as much as how well a couple can “repair” the rupture and understand one another.
What is Your Pattern When You Have Conflict?
We get very angry at one another and hurl insults and criticism
One of us goes on the attack and the other withdraws and puts up a wall, which only makes things worse
We both used to fight and it got us nowhere so now we just both just give up and stop talking, sometimes for days or weeks
Author, psychiatrist and therapist Daniel Siegel explores relationships and attachment in detail in his books. Here refers to the 4 Ss and what is needed for healthy attachment and relationships. How very important it is for us all to feel:
SEEN
SAFE
SOOTHED
SECURE
How our early attachment figures responded to us emotionally (or didn’t respond in many cases) will most likely be the way we end up relating in our romantic relationships. It has a lot to do with the ability (or inability) to understand one another and repair problems in our relationships. If a person did not any or all of the combination of seen, safe, soothed or secure, they might most likely will struggle with similar issues in their adult relationships. Reliving the past over and over is extremely painful. It can cause rage, anger, deep sadness and feelings of rejection, and ultimately like you don’t matter.
Getting Help with Conflict in Relationship
With help, a couple can learn how to take in the external experience of the other person and help them feel seen, safe, soothed and secure. Learning to emotionally respond to your spouse or partner can help you connect in deeper and more meaningful ways.
If you’re looking for a relationship or marriage therapist in New Jersey, contact us now at 973-902-8700 or email us if that’s easier for you.
Are you looking for a parenting coach because you’re struggling with understanding how to handle things with a child or teenager?
Does this sound familiar?
you get angry and frustrated with your child’s behavior
your child does not listen to you
your child seems withdrawn, angry or fearful.
Parenting issues cause a rift in your marriage or relationship
you realize what you’re doing is not helping or making things worse
you don’t like your child’s behavior and feel ashamed of how it makes you feel about your child
your child is especially disrespectful and oppositional
you feel sad and disappointed in how your child is doing in school
you’re child is having a lot of problems socially or with other family members
you are in a power struggle and want to force your child to do certain things and wonder
You and your spouse or partner fight about the kids
you want to know if your child coping with depression and/or anxiety and what to do about it
I recently saw to the Disney movie Inside Out (which I recommend for parents and kids of all ages). What an excellent movie in how it depicts the struggle of kids (and parents) with understanding and expressing emotions. The movie shows 5 characters playing named Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust, in the mind the mind of the child. It also shows how Joy tries to make sure Sadness never touches any part of the memories of the child. Ultimately, we see how very important sadness is for the child in the movie to express.
Kids usually don’t understand what they are feeling. They don’t know what is going emotionally and need help. Moms and dads try and cope with the behavior that results from their child’s confusion, and it is sometimes very challenging to say the lead.
Children and adolescents need help understanding and expressing their emotions, especially sadness. Anger, disgust and fear seems to be much easier to express. Usually underneath is sadness. It is not easy for anyone.
A parenting coach or therapist can help you understand what your child triggers in you which leads to certain very unpleasant reactions. Does your child’s issues make you feel like a bad parent? Does it trigger fear or feelings of inadequacy? Get help with how to handle things in ways that feel better to everyone. You can find ways to manage your own emotions and reactivity as you try to help you your child. If you need a help with parenting issues and you live or work in or around Essex County, NJ, feel free to contact us.
Strengthening Your Family: A Collaborative Path to Connection
In Essex County, New Jersey, families are like unique constellations, each with its own pattern of stars, light, and occasional darkness. When challenges arise, it can feel like your family’s balance is disrupted, affecting everyone. At Maplewood Counseling, we believe that every family unit, no matter its shape or size, possesses the strength to navigate these challenges together. Our approach to family therapy is rooted in collaboration and empowerment, creating a safe space where you can reconnect, communicate, and grow stronger as a team.
Is your family navigating a difficult chapter? Perhaps some of these situations feel familiar:
You feel like you’re speaking different languages, leading to constant arguments and misunderstandings.
Parenting styles are clashing, creating tension and inconsistency for your children.
Your family is adapting to a new structure, such as a blended family, and struggling to find harmony.
A shared loss has left everyone grieving in different ways, making it hard to support one another.
One member is facing mental health challenges, and the entire family is feeling the impact.
You’re learning to support a loved one who has come out as LGBTQ+, and you want to do it with love and understanding.
It’s common for families to face these hurdles. You don’t have to face them alone. Family therapy offers a supportive environment to transform these challenges into opportunities for growth and deeper connection.
How Family Therapy Empowers Your Family
Family therapy is different from individual counseling because it views the family as a whole system. Instead of focusing on one person as the “problem,” we look at the dynamics and relationships between everyone. The goal isn’t to assign blame but to empower each member to contribute to a healthier, more supportive family environment.
We see therapy as a collaborative process. Your therapist acts as a guide, helping your family:
Build Bridges in Communication: Learn to truly listen and express yourselves in ways that foster understanding, not conflict. We’ll help you replace patterns of arguing with constructive dialogue.
Resolve Conflicts with Empathy: Acquire tools to navigate disagreements respectfully. You can learn to solve problems together, strengthening your family’s resilience.
Support Each Other Through Change: Life transitions, from a new baby to a teenager leaving for college, can be stressful. Therapy provides a space to manage these changes as a unified team.
Create a Nurturing Home Environment: Work together to build a home where every member feels seen, heard, valued, and safe to be their authentic self.
Our practice is a welcoming space for all families, including single-parent households, blended families, LGBTQ+ families, and multi-generational homes. We are here to support your unique journey.
Q: What if one family member is hesitant to attend therapy? A: This is a very common concern. Our therapists are skilled at creating a non-judgmental atmosphere where everyone feels comfortable and heard. Often, the most reluctant member finds the process rewarding once they experience the supportive environment. We can start with who is willing and work from there.
Q: Will the therapist take sides? A: Absolutely not. The therapist’s role is to be a neutral facilitator who supports the entire family unit. Our goal is to ensure every voice is heard and to help the family find solutions that work for everyone, rather than siding with one individual.
Q: How long does family therapy typically last? A: The duration of therapy varies depending on your family’s specific goals and challenges. Some families find resolution for a specific issue in just a few sessions, while others may benefit from longer-term support to work on more deep-seated patterns. We will tailor the approach to your unique needs.
Q: Our problems feel too big and complicated for therapy. Can you still help? A: No problem is too big or too small for therapy. Complex challenges are often a sign that a family could truly benefit from professional guidance. We are trained to help you break down overwhelming issues into manageable steps, guiding you toward a path of healing and connection.
Take the First Step Toward a Stronger Family
Your family has the power to transform its challenges into lasting strength and connection. If you’re ready to start building a more harmonious future together, we’re here to guide you.
Resolving Family Conflict and Healing Relationships
Are you struggling to resolve conflict with a family member? Are you feeling a mix of emotions about the rupture? Do you feel stuck in the middle between other family members that are not getting along. Not sure how to repair things or what to do?
Does this sound familiar?
You feeling disappointed by things that your mother or father has done to you over time
You had a falling out with your adult brother or sister or other family member
You’re not even sure it is possible to resolve certain issues
You’ve always been the type of person that cuts people out of your life when they hurt you
You feel very sad about family relationships that cause more pain than anything else
You’re in-laws do not treat you well and it causes problems between you and your spouse
You are not happy about the way your spouse deals with things with your step-children
You feel stuck in the middle between your spouse and your children ( including blended family problems)
Many people want to know what, if anything, they can do to make things better. If you’re not sure how to resolve or forgive or you’re hanging onto anger or resentment. If you’re looking fore help resolving family conflict, therapy can help.
If you work or live in Northern New Jersey and need counseling to help in resolving family conflict, contact us or call 973-902-8700 if that’s easier for you.
More and more middle aged families are finding themselves caring for their aging parents, struggling with the best ways to handle challenging situations.
Some people are not only caring for their parents, but raising their children as well. The “sandwich” generation is faced with enormous stressors managing all the additional responsibilities as they search for affordable, trustworthy and compassionate resources and options for their parents.
Add to that the stress of the cost of a helping pay for nursing home, assisted living or hiring home health care services and it can be overwhelming.
Does this sound familiar?
you have a mother or father coping with Alzheimer’s or dementia
you have a parent that lives alone and it’s getting to the point where you must consider safer options
your parent fell and broke a hip or other fracture and needs to be in a rehab center
your parent(s) are depressed, isolated and alone
you feel “stuck” caring for a parent and feel like it’s a burden
you need local help since you don’t live near your aging parent
you feel depressed about the stress of caring for parents and raising your children (the sandwich generation)
For many, it’s hard coping with and caring for aging parents. Finding the right resources in your area is important. Here are some local NJ resources to help you with your parents:
7 Ways Teen Counseling Can Benefit Your Adolescent
Adolescence is a pivotal stage of life marked by growth, transformation, and sometimes, intense challenges. For many teens, navigating these years is complicated by pressures from school, peers, and the expectations of adulthood looming on the horizon. Parents and educators often find themselves wondering how to best support young people during these formative years.
Enter teen counseling. Beyond being a safe space for adolescents to share their thoughts and emotions, counseling provides invaluable tools and coping mechanisms that help teens grow into healthier, more resilient adults.
In this blog, we’ll explore seven ways that teen counseling can make a lasting difference in an adolescent’s life, from improving communication to building self-esteem. Whether you’re a parent looking to help your teen or an educator seeking resources, you’ll find reassurance and practical guidance here.
1. Improved Communication Skills
Good communication is at the heart of understanding and connection, and for teenagers, effective communication can be especially challenging. Hormonal changes, peer influences, and internalized emotions often make it hard for teens to express themselves clearly to others.
Counseling sessions help teens develop vital communication skills, such as active listening, articulating their feelings, and expressing themselves respectfully. For example, Emily, a 14-year-old struggling with family conflicts, found her counseling sessions invaluable as she learned how to translate her feelings into words. Over time, her home environment became more harmonious, largely because she and her family started to communicate better.
When teens learn to express themselves effectively, their relationships with parents, peers, and teachers improve significantly.
2. Enhanced Emotional Regulation
Adolescents experience emotions more intensely than any other age group due to their developing brains and fluctuating hormones. It’s no surprise that mood swings, frustration, or anxiety can become overwhelming.
Teen counseling helps young people understand their emotional patterns and teaches them techniques to regulate those feelings. Counselors introduce tools such as mindfulness exercises, relaxation techniques, and cognitive reframing to manage challenging emotions.
Take Sarah, a 15-year-old who struggled with intense anxiety about school. Through her counseling sessions, she learned how to recognize the early signs of anxiety and employ calming techniques like deep breathing and grounding exercises. Today, Sarah describes feeling more in control of her emotions and less overwhelmed by stress.
3. Better Academic Performance
A teen’s mental state often directly affects their academic performance. Anxiety, self-doubt, or difficulty concentrating can hinder their ability to focus and succeed in school. Counseling addresses these underlying challenges, enabling teens to perform better in academic settings.
For instance, Sarah’s coping strategies for anxiety didn’t just help her feel better about herself; they also improved her grades. With fewer emotional roadblocks, she began approaching assignments with more confidence and experienced greater success in school.
Teen counseling ensures that academic hurdles don’t snowball into long-term setbacks.
4. Healthier Relationships
Building strong and healthy relationships during adolescence lays the foundation for fulfilling adult connections. However, boundaries, trust, and conflict resolution don’t come naturally to everyone.
Counseling provides teens with the tools they need to form and nurture positive relationships. This includes addressing issues like bullying, peer pressure, and romantic complications. Michael, a 16-year-old facing persistent bullying, turned to counseling to develop assertiveness skills. With the support of his counselor, he learned how to set boundaries and choose friendships more thoughtfully.
For Michael, counseling not only strengthened his relationships but also boosted his confidence in social settings.
5. Increased Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem can hold teenagers back from achieving their potential. Teens may feel like they’re not enough—not smart enough, attractive enough, or capable enough. It’s tough to watch someone you love wrestle with a distorted self-image.
Therapy for teens works to challenge these limiting beliefs. Counselors provide impartial yet affirming support, encouraging teens to replace negative self-talk with a healthier mindset. They help teens recognize their strengths, celebrate their achievements, and foster a sense of self-worth.
Through counseling, Michael grew to see himself not as a victim of bullying, but as a resilient and capable individual. This sense of empowerment allowed him to approach life with renewed confidence.
6. Coping with Mental Health Challenges
For teens facing mental health challenges such as anxiety, depression, or PTSD, counseling can truly be life-changing. Left unaddressed, these struggles often worsen over time, impacting every aspect of a teen’s life.
Licensed counselors are trained to identify and treat mental health issues, providing teens with the tools they need to cope and recover. Techniques like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and solution-focused therapy help teens reshape negative thought patterns or behaviors.
Sarah’s case illustrates this perfectly. Her weekly counseling sessions gave her practical ways to work through overwhelming thoughts, ultimately improving her mental and emotional well-being.
7. Development of Problem-Solving Skills
Life is full of challenges, and adolescence is no exception. From managing school deadlines to resolving peer conflicts, teens often feel unprepared to tackle obstacles that arise.
Counseling equips teens with critical problem-solving skills by teaching them how to weigh options, anticipate consequences, and make informed decisions. By practicing these skills in a supportive counseling environment, teens build the confidence to face challenges head-on.
For Emily, who often struggled with family arguments, these newfound skills empowered her to help find solutions instead of perpetuating conflicts. Over time, she became a more active and thoughtful participant in her own life.
Transforming the Teen Years Through Counseling
The teenage years may be challenging, both for adolescents and the adults who care for them. But with the right support, teens can grow into empowered, emotionally intelligent, and resilient individuals. Teen counseling offers a pathway for young people to develop essential life skills, improve their mental health, and build stronger relationships.
If you’re considering counseling for your child or a teen you care about, take the first step today. The benefits are truly life-changing—for both teens and their support network.
Need help finding the right counselor? Contact us to connect with compassionate, experienced professionals who can guide your teen every step of the way.
