Understanding Relationship Deal Breakers

Relationship deal breakers, according to Terry Real, relationship expert and founder of RLT Relational Life Therapy, can make or break your relationship. It is important to understand these if you are going to be able to improve your marriage or relationship. As a result, you will want to know what gets in the way of creating a healthy and more connected relationship. More importantly, if certain issues are not addressed it may lead to divorce or a break-up. There is only so much one person can do on their own to fix things.

What are Deal Breakers for Couples?

Firstly, if one partner has an untreated mental health issue.  Possibly depression, anxiety, bipolar, OCD or another mental diagnosis can be causing that person to suffer. As a result, it can affect the relationship. Also, you or your spouse or partner may not know there is a diagnosis or may not want to ask about it. Maybe you think your wife or husband suffers and it affects the relationship, but he or she is not willing to get help. It is not an easy subject to broach since no-one wants to feel like the “identified problem”. However, untreated mental health issues can make it very difficult to effectively work on your marriage or relationship.

Secondly, if one partner acts out sexually or is aggressive physically. Couples therapy is contraindicated and should not be used when there is domestic violence. If your partner acts out physically, then he or she needs to get help through a domestic violence program to address acting out anger in physically aggressive ways. Domestic violence is a legal issue, not a relationship issue. You cannot resolve your issue if it is not safe enough for both people to express their honest feelings about issues. Also, if your spouse or partner acts out sexually with infidelity, prostitutes, massage parlors, or online cheating, this must stop if the relationship can heal.

Finally, if you don’t or never loved your partner or want out.  So, if you got married young, to please a parent, your spouse or because of a pregnancy, and you never loved your spouse, it may not be possible to create a loving connection. Terry Real says he would rather see one partner let go of the other so he or she can find someone that can love them.  Also, if one person wants out and they are 100% done, they may come to therapy to get help ending the relationship. Maybe they feel badly about the pain they are causing by wanting to separate and get divorced, but it is a relationship deal breaker if both people are not invested in the trying to make it work.

Things that will be a huge challenge for couples and can also break your relationship are :

• Lack of communication:

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Without effective communication, misunderstandings can arise and lead to conflicts. It’s important for both partners to keep an open line of communication and be able to express their thoughts, feelings, and needs without fear or judgment.

• Disrespect:

Respect is a fundamental aspect of any successful relationship. Without respect, the relationship can quickly deteriorate. This includes respecting each other’s boundaries, opinions, and feelings. If one partner constantly disrespects the other, it can create resentment and damage the trust in the relationship.

• Infidelity:

Infidelity is a major breach of trust in a relationship. Whether it’s emotional or physical, cheating can cause irreparable damage to a relationship. It’s important for both partners to be faithful and committed to each other in order for the relationship to thrive.

• Lack of trust:

Trust is a crucial component of any healthy relationship. Without trust, there will always be doubts and insecurities that can lead to conflicts and even breakups. Building and maintaining trust takes time and effort from both partners, but it is necessary for a strong and lasting relationship.

• Control issues:

Being overly controlling or possessive can also harm a relationship. No one wants to feel like they are constantly being monitored or have their actions dictated by their partner. It’s important for both individuals in a relationship to have their own autonomy and trust in each other’s decision making.

• Neglect:

Neglecting your partner’s needs, whether it be emotional or physical, can create a rift in the relationship. It’s important for both partners to prioritize each other and make time for one another. Neglect can lead to feelings of loneliness and resentment, ultimately driving a wedge between partners.

• Lack of effort:

Relationships require effort from both parties. If one person is constantly putting in all the effort while the other becomes complacent, it can cause strain on the relationship. Both individuals should be willing to put in the work to keep the relationship strong and healthy.

• Incompatibility:

Sometimes despite our best efforts, relationships just don’t work out due to incompatibilities. This can be in terms of values, goals, or personalities. It’s important for both individuals to recognize when a relationship is not working and be willing to accept it and move on, rather than trying to force something that isn’t meant to be.

• Lack of compromise:

Compromise is necessary in any relationship as no two people will agree on everything all the time. Without compromise, conflicts may arise and create tension between partners. Both individuals should be open to finding a middle ground and understanding each other’s perspectives.

• Poor conflict resolution:

Conflicts are inevitable in any relationship, but how they are resolved can make or break a relationship. If conflicts are not handled properly, they can escalate and cause more damage. It’s important for both partners to be able to communicate effectively, listen to each other, and find a resolution that works for both parties.

• Financial problems:

Money can also be a source of strain in a relationship if not managed properly. Disagreements over finances, debt, and spending habits can cause conflicts. It’s important for couples to have open and honest discussions about money, set financial goals together, and find ways to manage their finances as a team.

It’s essential for couples to be aware of these potential issues in order to prevent them from breaking their relationship. Communication, respect, trust, effort, and compromise are key factors in maintaining a healthy and successful relationship. Both individuals should continuously work on these aspects and address any issues that arise in a timely and effective manner to keep their relationship strong and thriving.

Money can also be a source of strain in a relationship if not managed properly. Disagreements over finances, debt, and spending habits can cause conflicts. It’s important for couples to have open and honest discussions about money, set financial goals together, and find ways to manage their finances as a team.

It’s essential for couples to be aware of these potential issues in order to prevent them from breaking their relationship. Communication, respect, trust, effort, and compromise are key factors in maintaining a healthy and successful relationship. Both individuals should continuously work on these aspects and address any issues that arise in a timely and effective manner to keep their relationship strong and thriving.

Call us if you need help figuring out how to handle any of these relationship deal breakers.