Your spouse and your parents and/ or don’t get along
Your spouse wants you to choose him/her or your family
Your partner does not like your family and does not want to visit
You struggle with trying to make things manageable when there are family gatherings
You don’t feel you spouse or partner protects you or stands up for you
You don’t feel like a priority or your spouse complains of the same
You don’t agree with how your partner handle things with your children and feel “split”
You end up fighting a lot befor, during or after family gathertings
Whether you are caught in the middle with your family and spouse/partner or children, the end result is feeling awful. Feeling pulled and unable to bring the two sides together can cause anger, depression, sadness and frustration.
Maybe your parents feel they should be a priority and can be unreasonable. Maybe you’ve been conditioned to take care of your parents and you don’t know how to manage your relationship and make everyone happy.
Sorting through expectations, and evaluating better ways to approach confusing and challenging situations can help you and your partner and or spouse do a better job witho thoughtful and understanding communication.
If you feel like you’re caught in the middle, get in touch.
All of us have to deal with the unexpected and sometimes very unpleasant circumstances in our lives. As much as we try, we cannot control so much of what happens. Sometimes coping with health issues ( you or your child or other family member ), a change to your family situation such as divorce, death of a loved one, infidelity, a struggling child, loss of a job, and financial hardship to name a few.
How you handle these situations is important if you want to reduce the amount of suffering you go through. Resisting and pushing away from these circumstances “this shouldn’t be happening”, etc… will only make matters worse. What you resist will persist and end up making you feel worse. SO what can you do?
Developing the skill of mindfulness can help you deal with difficult circumstances by learning how to accept what you can’t change and navigate difficult circumstance in a more calm, peaceful way.
Dealing with challenges past and present
There are so many things that we cannot control. Maybe when you were young you had deal with hardship such as divorce, poverty, neglect or even death of a parent. Other Children have to deal with an abusive household growing up and having no say or ability to deal because they are children. These painful experiences can affect the way you cope with difficult times as an adult.
Having a Hard Time Coping?
Feeling helpless and out of control? Does this sound familiar?
You are going through a divorce
A loved one is dealing with health issues
Your own unexpected health issue has you scared and devastated
You’ve lost your job or are dealing with financial uncertainty
Your child has a mental health issues that has been challenging
You’re in a marriage or relationship that’s not been going well
There is so many challenges we all face at time. Developing coping mechanisms and developing a mindful approach to challenges will help you tremendously. Instead of resisting and getting angry or stuck in the painful experience, find ma therapist that can help you develop tools and skills in how are you related to present and future challenges.
Life is about how you handle Plan B, and you will have many opportunities to handle Plan B better and better over time. If you need help developing on mindful way of dealing with challenges, please feel free to reach out to us.
Do you feeling sad about what your child is going through? Are you feeling unable to find ways to effectively help your child?
When you’re a parent of a struggling child, it’s incredibly painful. Especially if the struggle seems to be ongoing and lasts for a period of time. Also, it can make you feel powerless, upset and even depressed. Maybe you’ve tried to help, offer advice or even resorted to criticizing your child in an attempt to make their situation better.
Parenting struggles with an adult or younger child
Do you have an adult son or daughter that is struggling? Are they dealing with life challenges that are also causing emotional pain, anger or fear? Is that affecting you? Do you have a younger child that is struggling? Do you feel angry and disappointed with your child?
Does this sound familiar?
Mental health issues – Your child struggles with anxiety, depression, bipolar OCD or a a serious mential health dianosis, such as psychosis or schizophrenia . Maybe they are in therapy or seeing a psychiatrist to try and manage and maybe they’re not open to treatment yet. Their behavior may be very hard for you as well.
Relationships – You don’t like the person your child is dating or married to. You have a hard time not making it known and it causes tension and stress in your family. Your child is in a gay or lesbian relationship and you struggle accepting his or her lifestyle.
Behavioral issues – You’re younger child acts and it causes problem at home and in school. It causes a lot of stress in the family and it is exhausting and overwhelming.
Sexuality – You child is gay, lesbian or transgender or identifies as bi or pansexual? Is it is hard to accept the lifestyle and support your child? Does you child feel isolated and struggle with sexuality or gender identity?
Dependency – Is an adult child having trouble launching? Do you wonder how to help? Do you feel he or she is being lazy or taking advantage of you? Do you fight with your spouse about how to handle the situation (one of you wants to make your child leave and the other doesn’t)?
Illness – Is your daughter or son dealing with serious, chronic or other illness? Have they been injured and are recovering and you are the caregiver? Are they struggling with serious mental illness such as schizophrenia, bipolar, psychosis or another severe mental illness?
Being the parent of a struggling child can be very challenging. Some situations trigger sad and powerless feeling and others trigger anger and disappointment. Knowing how to cope with your own emotional reactions will help. If you are looking for help, get in touch.
Wondering the best ways to be there for a family member that is going through a hard time? Maybe you’re not clear on how what to do if a spouse, partner or child needs support. For that reason, there are some helpful things you can do to help a loved one going through a hard time.
Maybe you think it is best to try to “fix” their emotional or physical pain. Seems like some advice or suggestions about what will help is what he or she needs. Certainly, it’s not easy to when someone you love is suffering. Even more, it feels pretty awful to feel so powerless when a family member struggles.
Best Ways to Be There
First of all, one of the best ways to be there is to be present and listen. So, allowing your loved one to talk and share without interruption will help. Secondly, you can ask what if there is anything you can do rather than offer advice. Because most people just want someone to listen and make it safe to share.
In contrast, how can you really be there when someone is struggling and not open to help. After all, some men, women and children do not want to talk. Whether he or she is suffering with depression, anxiety, some people are not open to help. Therefore, you have to know what to do with your own fear, feeling of powerlessness and emotional pain. Certainly, these situations are incredibly painful.
Getting Help for Your Own Feelings and Fear
There is something that will help deal with fear, worrying, judgment and struggle with acceptance of your circumstance and what your loved one is dealing with. Mindfulness is a very effective way of working with all of the thing that you can’t control and find more peace even in the most difficult circumstance. Furthermore, developing a better way of dealing with your own emotional and physical pain will help you manage all of life’s challenges.
If you want help developing the skill of mindfulness, get in touch.
Parenting Counseling | Struggling with An Adult Child?
Do you need help with your relationship with your son or daughter?
Do you have a complicated relationship with your adult child? Is your son or daughter making choices you don’t understand or like? In addition, do you disapprove or what they do? Are you worry about their well-being? As a result, is it causing you or your relationship to suffer?
Many parents struggle with a number of different issues when it comes to dealing with an adult child. Because as we all know, life does not always go according to ( your) plan. In addition, any number of things can cause a mom or dad to struggle to accept and support their adult child for any number of reasons. Therefore, mothers and fathers can work on reducing the fear, judgment and disconnect with your child. Because, most adults sons and daughters will distance from you if they don’t feel accepted by you and feel judged and criticized. It is painful when you parents don’t approve of who you are.
Does this Sound Familiar (for one or both of you) ?
We dislike our son or daughter’s partner or spouse and can’t help making it known
Are you struggling with accepting and supporting a gay, lesbian, transgender MTF FTM child?
Is your adult child struggling with relationship or marital issues?
Are you feeling worried, disappointed or angry at your child?
Feel hurt that your adult son or daughter isn’t spending as much time with you as you’d like
We don’t approve to the way they are parenting their own children and can’t help criticizing
We need help so we don’t continue to put more distance in our relationship with our child
You don’t like your son-in-law, daughter in-law or other in-laws and it causes problems
You feel like you failed as a parent and are concerned others will judge you or your child
Do you need help accepting things you cannot change and supporting your child? In addition, do you need help accepting your child even though you don’t like, understand or agree with what they do?
Even though there’s no doubt it’s difficult to managing disappointment and expectations of an adult child. However, there are thing you can do to accept what you cannot change and working with your own emotional pain. Final.ly, is key to manage and work with your own feelings to get through difficult times.
Are you or other or other family member in need of help? Please get in touch. We really do understand.
Are you feeling disconnected in your marriage or relationship? Have you given up on trying to fix things yourself? Wonder how an experienced relationship counselor can help?
There are several issues that cause couples to feel disconnected. Struggling with communication issues – knowing how to repair small and serious issues is key. Even more difficult relationship “ruptures” like infidelity and affairs, dealing with family problems such as in-laws, parenting, step-family or blended family problems, dealing with an ex, etc… Learning what will help your break habits and patterns that are not working will help.
Communication Problems
Do you treat your partner with disrespect? Are you being verbally abused or treated poorly by your partner, husband or wife? Do one or both of you get into name-calling, criticism or devaluing your partner or spouse? Do one or both of you end up withdrawing, putting up a wall and end up with the silent treatment?
When you struggle over and over, it can cause disconnect. Disconnect causes so many painful emotions. When you don’t feel understood (depending on your relationship style) it can cause one person to get louder and louder ( “I want you to hear me and understand me!”) or it can cause someone to withdraw because there is little hope to get anywhere or it does not feel safe . Becoming more aware of patterns or habits of defending, criticizing, ignoring or putting up a wall is going to help. Learning how to listen and allow space for one another to express concerns and feelings is key to creating safety and reconnecting.
Understanding Yourself and Your Partner
How can an experienced marriage and relationship counselor can help?
It will also take reflecting on an understanding your own part in your relationship struggles. Meaning, most people learn from their role models how people to treat others.
In addition, people that grew up in loving and nurturing and excepting homes, find it easier to respond and feel more connected in their adult relationships. On the other hand, people that grow up in homes where adults didn’t listen or they were disrespectful, critical, neglectful to another parent or adult and/or you, that will definitely inform the way you relate to people you love.
However, this is not meant to blame anyone since understanding and making sense of the past as well as accepting what you can’t change is important. Because, parents and role models do the best they can. Also, they certainly did what they knew how to do even if it wasn’t very good for anyone else around them.
How a relationship counselor can help
Firstly, understanding past experiences, conditioning and how these habits and patterns developed will help you work on breaking them. Secondly, if you are both open and willing to do this, you can create a much more loving, satisfying and connected relationship.
As a result, a skilled relationship counselor can help you understand what gets in the way of truly listening and understanding each other. In addition, it’s important to understand all of the different aspects of your dynamic that are problematic. Therefore, once you become more aware and pay more attention to what you’re doing or not doing, it can make a huge difference.
If you are in a bad place in your relationship and you are both willing and open to getting help, a skilled relationship counselor can help. So If you’re ready to take that step – or I have done some marriage or couples therapy in the past, and need more help now – get in touch.
