Maplewood Counseling
Working Toward Couples, Marriage Counseling success

Working Toward Couples, Marriage Counseling success

Relationships, Therapist

Marriage Counseling Success

What is Takes
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Working toward couples, marriage counseling success

How early should you start couples counseling?

Are you working toward couples marriage counseling success? People sometimes wonder whether they could’ve saved their relationship through marriage counseling or couples therapy. If they had done something sooner, would it have made a difference?

Let’s compare a couple’s relationship with maintaining your car. By the way, there’s no intention to objectify your spouse or partner with this comparison. The purpose is to compare how much time and attention people spend on their vehicles to keep them in good working order. For example, you inspect your tires, add air, and get them turned or aligned. You routinely check fluids—brake fluid, water and oil. And every several thousand miles, you change oil and filters.  You also recognize the warning signs if something that needs to be fixed. You know what to watch out for and what to repair right away. Why all the maintenance? Maintenance is important because it can avert a major breakdown. It can help you avoid disaster, such as a tire blowout, an engine seizure or a car crash.

Just the way vehicles need maintenance, so do relationships. Obviously, they require a different kind of maintenance. Thoughtful communication, attention and tender care can do a lot to repair a relationship.

Unfortunately, many of us don’t consistently devote the time and care that relationships need. In fact, this is evident in the 50% divorce rate that exists in the U.S. Perhaps, all too often, we take relationships for granted. If so, we might not see the warning signs that our relationship is falling apart. By the time we consider taking action, it might be too late to salvage it.

Tackling problems early on is best. When you deal with problems before they mount up, chances are you can restore the loving relationship you started out with.

Warning signs that a relationship is in trouble

The following are some indications that your relationship is faltering:

  • Fault-finding? Do you find yourself continuously aware of your partner’s faults? Do you often voice criticisms? Is your partner often critical of you?
  • Aggressive? Are your interactions with each other riddled with sarcastic remarks, arguments, knitted eyebrows and grimaces?
  • Feeling defensive? Do you or your partner take what the other says the wrong way, even when trying to turn over a new leaf or revitalize your relationship?
  • Drifting apart? Are you spending less and less time with each other, finding other interests and people to hang out with?
  • Envisioning a different life? Do wonder what life would be like with a different partner? Do you spend time daydreaming about being with someone else that you know?

If the above sounds familiar and is prevalent in your life, couples counseling can help. To get involved in couples therapy, you don’t have to wait until your relationship is falling apart. In fact, most couples are wise to seek counseling before their relationship reaches the stages described above.

What can trigger the above types of behavior?

Life changing experiences are often the beginning of downturns in a couple’s life together. Examples of triggers may include: childbirth, caring for elderly parents, relocation, career changes, death of a loved one or serious health issues. 

How can you plan for couples marriage counseling success?

The best way to avert disaster is to get help early on. Counseling can help you manage stress and communicate more effectively. Devote the time and attention to your relationship that it deserves. Learn how to nurture trust, intimacy, and gratitude. When you do, then you can also watch your lives improve.

Find out more about marriage counseling

If you have questions, we’re glad to answer them. Take the first step by reaching out to us.

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

 

 

Five Reasons People Avoid Going to Therapy

Depression, Grief, Relationships, Therapist

Five Reasons People
Avoid Therapy

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Avoiding Getting Help?

Five reasons people avoid going to therapy

1. I’m nervous about going to therapy

A lot of people get anxious and nervous about going to therapy. Maybe they don’t know how it works or feels there must be something wrong with me/us if we need professional counseling. Some people feel like it’s “weak” to ask for professional help.
2. I/we should be able to fix things on our own
Feeling like you can fix things on your own or at least you should be able to fix things on your own. This it is another big reason people avoid going to therapy. When it comes to relationship issues, sometimes one person is asking their partner or spouse to go to therapy and the other person Continues to say no.
3. How can therapy help me/us?
A lot of people are not sure how therapy works or how it can actually help. They might hesitate because they don’t understand the process and how it can actually help them get to a better place personally or in the relationship.
4. I don’t believe in therapy
Some people just don’t believe in therapy. They don’t believe it can help or they don’t believe they need it. Sometimes it takes a person being in a very vulnerable and painful situation to be open to the idea of getting professional help.
5. I/we can’t afford it
Many people who need or want therapy feel they can’t afford it.  There are a few places, such as a local church that may offer free counseling and there are also many nonprofit counseling services that offer more affordable, lower fees. When you are looking for a highly trained professional most likely the fee will be higher and unfortunately not accessible for some people. However, there are local nonprofit counseling centers that can offer counseling at a more affordable rate.
There are many reasons people avoid therapy. Some people find their way to therapy after going through a very painful situation emotionally or in their relationship. For people that are open to the process, it can be very helpful with many personal and relationship challenges.
At Maplewood Counseling, we offer professional, confidential, and experienced counseling services in New Jersey for couples, families, and individuals. If you are in need of help, get in touch

 

 

 

 

Can Your Marriage Survive Infidelity?

Feel Misunderstood?

Relationships

Want To Feel Understood?

Need Counseling?

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When you feel understood

How good does it feel when someone gets you? When someone truly  listens and understands you and is there for you emotionally? How wonderful does it feel when someone responds to you rather than reacts? How awful does it feel that the person you’re sharing a home with, a bed with cannot do that for you?

Feeling understood and seen is where a deeper connection starts. It also were disconnect and unhappiness starts – if you repeatedly feel misunderstood and not seen.

In some cases a spouse or partner truly does not understand what you’re upset about or what you need. But there is a difference between trying to fix something and the intention of trying to help, than being dismissive, eye rolling out of frustration. Some people don’t know how to respond in a compassionate way and and respond. It will help your spouse or partner hear “I see you are (angry, sad, frutrated, etc…) and I understand (or want to understand) – I am sorry you feel that way…what do you need from me (or how can I help?) ”

Want to get better at respnding in more compassionate and positive ways? Want to repair your fights in more effective ways? Get in touch.

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

Couples Therapy

Maplewood Counseling provides relationship counseling for couples who are struggling with communication problems, an affair, a crisis or other issues. Marriage counseling and couples therapy is provided to help for all types couples with relationship issues.

Relationships & Families

Get relationship help for communication problems, affairs and infidelity, deciding to stay or leave your marriage or relationship, family and parenting relationships and more.  We specialize in helping couples with marital, family and relationship counseling.

Making Decisions

Are you unhappy in your marriage? Need help with your relationship and want to come in alone to talk?  Partner or spouse won’t come with you? Struggling to make some decisions to deal with painful relationship, parenting, step, blended or other family problems?

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

Where We’re Located

In an Unhappy Marriage?

Relationships

Unhappy Marriage?

Leave or Stay?

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Depressed About an Unhappy Marriage?

Are you afraid to leave an unhappy marriage? Are you staying for the kids or for other reasons? Are you trying to figure out what to do?

Many couples struggle in an unhappy marriage or relationship. A new baby definitely complicates your relationship and has a certain set of challenges. Some couples can work through these difficulties and other feel a new baby has only brought out the worst in the relationship and sometimes feelings change. And you’re not sure you can get your feelings back.

Having kids can also cause a lot of problems in a relationship and also make it more challenging to leave or divorce. Many people feel it can hurt their children if they get divorced and hurt their financial situation. Is staying always best for the kids? Maybe not.

What happens to some relationships after a child or children enter the picture is the relationship is put on the back burner. To feel like you are not a priority anymore in your marriage for an extended period of time can lead to a pretty big disconnect and unhappiness.

The truth is some people are raised by a parent that totally focuses on the children. Either it is a single parent household or someone that was conditioned to give the child or children most of the attention. It can feel wrong to do it any other way and sometimes frustrating to have your spouse want more attention. The result? The relationship suffers and over time a couple can get very disconnected. One person needing and wanting more attention, and the other not understanding why they just can’t put the children first. This can be a complicated issue.

Are you in an unhappy marriage and wonder what to do? Afraid to leave and can’t imagine staying? We are here to help if you are wondering what to do about an unhappy marriage.

 

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

Indian Marriage Counseling in NJ: Balancing Culture & Connection

Indian Marriage Counseling in NJ: Balancing Culture & Connection

Relationships

Indian Marriage Counseling in NJ: Balancing Culture & Connection

 

Indian Marriage Counseling in NJ: Balancing Culture & Connection

Are you and your partner looking for support with relationship challenges—especially those shaped by Indian, South Asian, or Southeast Asian cultures? Many couples and individuals in New Jersey share similar experiences. Whether you’re navigating the expectations of close-knit families, balancing generational traditions with modern values, or facing unique pressures in your partnership, you do not have to do this alone.

At Maplewood Counseling, we understand the complexities that come with honoring heritage while also nurturing your own happiness. Our counseling services offer a safe, inclusive, and culturally respectful space for talking through the issues that matter most to you. Here, you will be seen and heard, without feeling the need to explain your background or values.

Why Seek Indian or Southeast Asian Marriage Counseling?

Every relationship faces challenges, but couples and families from Indian, South Asian, and Southeast Asian backgrounds often encounter pressures that can be difficult to discuss outside their community. It’s also important to understand that “Southeast Asian” is a broad term that includes communities such as Thai, Vietnamese, Indonesian, Filipino, and Malaysian, each with unique traditions and experiences. While using broader terms can mean fewer specific resources, many of the underlying issues—such as balancing tradition and individuality or managing family roles—are widely shared.

Some common concerns we help with include:

  • Family Expectations & In-laws: Difficulty setting boundaries with extended family, or feeling pressure to meet expectations and customs.
  • Communication Differences: Struggling to express feelings or needs because your partner comes from a different cultural or family background.
  • Community Perception (“Log Kya Kahenge”): Stress caused by feeling judged or needing to maintain a “perfect” image in the community, which can lead to hiding struggles or ignoring problems.
  • Arranged or Family-Introduced Partnerships: Uncertainty about building closeness and trust when your relationship began through family arrangements or cultural traditions.
  • Blending Traditions: Challenges in merging cultural or religious customs within mixed-heritage or interfaith relationships.
  • Conversations About Intimacy: Feeling unable to discuss needs or concerns related to emotional or physical intimacy due to privacy values or cultural taboos.

If any of these situations feel familiar, please know you are not alone—and that support is available.

What Makes Our Approach Different?

Seeking relationship support can be tough—especially if you are worried about having to explain your cultural context, family roles, or life decisions to someone who may not fully “get it.”

At Maplewood Counseling, our therapists bring both professional expertise and cultural humility. We honor all backgrounds—Indian, South Asian, Southeast Asian—and are committed to serving clients of every gender, orientation, faith, and family structure, including LGBTQIA+, interracial, and interfaith couples.

Our therapists understand:

  • The importance of family and collective values
  • The unique dynamics of joint and multigenerational households
  • The emotional weight of meeting parental and community expectations

We strive to create a space where you feel truly understood and respected.

How We Help Couples and Individuals

 

1. Improving Communication

Get tools to express your needs, emotions, and concerns in a way your partner can hear—no matter your communication styles or family influences. We help you move past misunderstandings and silence so your true feelings have space to be heard.

2. Setting Healthy Boundaries

Learn how to set boundaries with family and others while still honoring your values. Whether you live in a joint family or manage strong parental involvement, we’ll guide you to a balanced approach that protects both your relationship and family ties.

3. Navigating Cultural Identity

Work together to blend meaningful traditions from your heritage with the realities of life in the U.S. or a multicultural household. For parents, we help you create shared family values and open conversations about what traditions feel most important to pass on.

4. Deepening Connection and Intimacy

Our sessions provide a private, supportive space to talk about closeness—emotional and physical—with care and respect. We help you move beyond duty and obligation to build genuine connection tailored to your unique partnership.

Book Your Session

Frequently Asked Questions

Do you work with arranged marriages and family-introduced relationships?
Yes. We support couples at any stage of these partnerships and help you build trust, connection, and honest communication.

Will you encourage us to break ties with our families?
No. Family is central in many cultures. We help you find ways to remain close while also building a strong, respectful relationship with your partner.

Do you work with mixed-culture, interfaith, or LGBTQIA+ couples?
Absolutely. Our team welcomes all couples and individuals, regardless of background. We work with you to create a relationship that embraces all parts of your identity.

What if my partner is hesitant due to the stigma around mental health or therapy?
This is a common worry in South and Southeast Asian communities. We offer both in-person and private virtual sessions, always with full confidentiality and compassion. Seeking counseling is a sign of care for your relationship and yourself.

Can we come for pre-marital or relationship support if we’re not legally married?
Yes. We work with individuals, couples, and families in all stages—dating, engaged, recently partnered, or long-term. You don’t have to be married to benefit from support.

Ready to Build a Stronger Partnership?

You deserve a relationship that honors both your culture and your happiness. Whether you want to resolve conflicts or create a deeper level of understanding, we can help. Maplewood Counseling offers empathetic, culturally aware counseling sessions in Maplewood, NJ, as well as secure virtual counseling throughout New Jersey.

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Helpful Resources

Couples Support

Family & Individual Support

 

Angry Tone Causing Issues?

Angry Tone Causing Issues?

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

Struggle With An Angry Tone in Your Relationship

Get Help Expressing Anger

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5 Problems With An Angry Tone

Have you ever felt angry over something? Have you noticed how your tone changes when you are angry? An angry tone can cause a lot of problems in our personal and professional relationships. In this article, we will discuss six problems that arise from an angry tone and how to deal with them.

  • Problem #1: Miscommunication

When we speak with an angry tone, our words may come out as aggressive or confrontational even if we didn’t mean it that way. This can lead to miscommunication and misunderstandings which can damage relationships and create unnecessary conflicts.

How to deal with it:

Be aware of your tone while communicating. Take a moment to calm yourself down before responding in anger. Practice actively listening and try to understand the other person’s perspective.

  • Problem #2: Intimidation

An angry tone can be intimidating and make others feel uncomfortable or even scared. This can create an unhealthy power dynamic in relationships where one person dominates over the other through fear.

How to deal with it:

Express your emotions in a calm and respectful manner. Avoid using aggressive language or body language that may come across as intimidating. Remember, effective communication involves mutual respect and understanding.

  • Problem #3: Lack of empathy

When we speak with an angry tone, we are often focused on our own emotions rather than considering how the other person feels. This lack of empathy can strain relationships and make it difficult to resolve conflicts.

How to deal with it:

Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and understand their perspective. Express your emotions while also acknowledging theirs. This can create a mutual understanding and pave the way for finding a solution together.

  • Problem #4: Negative impact on mental health

Constantly using an angry tone can take a toll on our mental health. It can lead to feelings of guilt, regret, and frustration which can manifest as anxiety or anger disorders over time.

How to deal with it:

Practice managing your anger by identifying triggers and finding healthy ways to cope with them. Seek professional help if needed.

  • Problem #5: Damage to personal relationships

An angry tone can cause damage to personal relationships, making it difficult to repair and rebuild trust. It can also create a toxic environment where conflicts are constantly brewing.

How to deal with it:

Make an effort to communicate in a calm and respectful manner. Practice forgiveness and learn effective conflict resolution skills. Remember that healthy communication is key for maintaining strong personal relationships. So, it is important to continuously work on improving how we express our emotions and communicate with others in order to cultivate positive and healthy relationships. This involves being aware of our own emotions, actively listening to others, showing empathy, and finding constructive ways to manage anger. With practice and effort, we can all become better communicators who contribute towards creating a more peaceful and harmonious world. Let’s start by managing our tone, one conversation at a time.

Angry Tone Causing Issues?

Are You Confused By How Upset Your Partner Gets?

Does your spouse or partner complain about your angry tone? Doe you feel you don’t even have a tone and get frustrated by your wife or husband’s complaints? Feel like you are not getting anywhere when you are trying to express how you feel?

Does this sound familiar?

  • Your partner gets very upset when they hear angry tone
  • It annoys your because you don’t fee you have a “tone”
  • You feel like it’s no big deal and normal to express yourself this way
  • You find it undbearable and put up a wall when this happens

So how can you both resolve this ongoing problem? You can find better ways to resolve conflict and become aware of your triggers. Sometimes one person grows up in a family where people are loud when they express one another and it feels normal. Sometimes the other partner grows up in a scary, abusive home and has a strong reaction to hearing something familiar (and upsetting).

One the other hand, one person may have grown up in a household where no one raised their voices, so hearing that from a spouse can feel scary and bad. The best way to start making important changes is to understand where these feelings come from so you can both understand (with compassion) what to do to improve your communication and become aware of your “tone”.

If you want help with issues related to angry tone, feel free to get in touch.

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Need Anger Counseling?