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7 Major Barriers to Change (And How to Overcome Them)

7 Major Barriers to Change (And How to Overcome Them)

7 Major Barriers to Change

When Things Need to Change

 

7 of the Biggest Barriers to Change

Understanding can help you take important steps

Struggling to create change in your personal life or relationship? Find here the 7 biggest barriers to change and learn practical strategies to break through them. It will help with personal, relationship, and family challenges.

7 of the Biggest Barriers to Change (And How to Overcome Them)

Change is one of the most natural parts of life, yet it often feels overwhelming or even impossible. Whether it’s improving communication in relationships, tackling a parenting challenge, or reshaping family dynamics, change requires effort, courage, and patience. But why does change feel so hard, even when we recognize its potential benefits?

The truth is, several barriers can stand in the way. These obstacles are often rooted in our habits, fears, and beliefs—and understanding them is the first step to navigating through them successfully. This post will explore seven of the biggest barriers to change, how they manifest in relationships and families, and practical strategies to overcome them.

What Are the 7 Barriers to Change?

Overcome Barriers to Change in Your Life

1. Fear of the Unknown

It’s human nature to seek comfort in familiarity, even if it no longer serves us well. Change often demands stepping into the unknown, which can feel daunting. For example:

  • Relationships: A partner may hesitate to suggest counseling, fearing how it might change their dynamic.
  • Parenting: Changing how you discipline your child can feel risky, especially if the current methods seem predictable (even if they’re not effective).
  • Families: Introducing new routines or traditions can challenge long-standing habits that everyone has grown accustomed to.

How to Overcome It:

Focus on small, manageable steps instead of big leaps. Breaking change into smaller actions reduces the sense of uncertainty. For example, if you’re thinking about starting therapy as a couple, begin by having a conversation about what outcomes you both hope for.

2. Resistance to Breaking Habits

Habits are comfortable; they don’t require much thought, and they give us a sense of stability. However, this reliance on routines can hinder growth, especially in areas like communication patterns or family roles.

Example:

A parent may habitually raise their voice when frustrated, even though they’d prefer to create a calmer home environment. Breaking this cycle can feel like rewriting the “rules” that have guided them for years.

How to Overcome It:

Start by identifying the habit you want to change and its triggers. Reflect on why you’ve maintained it and what a better alternative might be. Practicing mindfulness can also help increase awareness, allowing you to interrupt automatic reactions.

3. Fear of Failure 

For many, the idea of trying and failing feels worse than never trying at all. Failure often comes with judgment—whether from yourself or others—and that can be another on of the barriers to change because it seem too risky.

Example:

A person may avoid initiating important conversations with their partner because they’re unsure how to express themselves effectively. The fear of “saying the wrong thing” often keeps them from saying anything at all.

How to Overcome It:

Reframe failure as feedback, not a verdict. Every attempt at change, even if imperfect, teaches you something about yourself and your circumstances. Celebrate small wins and accept progress, not perfection, as your ultimate goal.

4. Lack of Support

Change rarely happens in isolation. When you feel like you’re going at it alone—whether it’s improving as a parent, working on personal growth, or bettering relationships—it can be exhausting and lonely.

Example:

Say one partner in a relationship is trying to become more emotionally expressive, but their efforts are met with skepticism. Without encouragement, they may retreat into old habits.

How to Overcome It:

Seek out a support system, whether that’s your partner, friends, family, or professional help. Share your goals openly and explain how their support can make a difference. Online communities centered around personal growth can also be a valuable resource.

5. Overwhelming Expectations

Big changes often feel paralyzing because of their sheer scale. Wanting to “fix everything at once”—whether in your family dynamic or personal life—can leave you feeling defeated before you even begin.

Example:

Parents who feel their family’s screen time is excessive might aim to ban devices entirely, creating tension and making the goal unsustainable.

How to Overcome It:

Start small. Instead of banning screens completely, for example, introduce a “device-free dinner” policy to create one hour of connection. Shift your focus to achievable milestones that build up to larger change.

6. Self-Doubt

A lack of confidence in your ability to succeed can prevent you from even trying. Often, this stems from past failed attempts or internalized beliefs about being “not good enough.”

Example:

A father might want to be more involved in his child’s education but hesitates because he thinks he’s not “the academic one” in the family.

How to Overcome It:

Challenge your inner critic by focusing on your strengths. Recognize that change doesn’t demand perfection—it simply requires effort. Celebrate even the smallest successes to fuel your confidence over time.

7. Fear of Conflict

Barriers to change within relationships or families can sometimes stir up resistance or disagreement. This can feel like “rocking the boat,” and many people prefer to avoid conflict rather than risk upsetting others.

Example:

A woman in a partnership may resist discussing shared financial goals because she’s afraid of an argument about spending habits.

How to Overcome It:

Recognize that healthy conflict is part of growth. Approach difficult conversations with empathy, emphasizing that your intentions are rooted in mutual benefit. Practicing active listening can help diffuse tension and foster understanding.

The Impact of These Barriers

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Left unchecked, these barriers can have significant consequences—not just for individuals but for relationships and families as well. For instance:

  • Suppressed emotions in a relationship can lead to resentment.
  • Struggles with parenting approaches can create inconsistent boundaries, leaving children uncertain or insecure.
  • Failing to adapt family traditions to modern needs may unintentionally alienate younger members.

Acknowledging these barriers is essential to avoid becoming “stuck.” Change isn’t just about moving forward; it’s about growing stronger and more connected in the process.

Practical Strategies to Overcome Barriers to Change

While every situation is unique, these general strategies can help you face and conquer the hurdles blocking your path to change:

  1. Set Realistic Goals: Focus on one meaningful change at a time, and track your progress to stay motivated.
  2. Communicate Openly: Share your intentions with loved ones and seek their understanding and cooperation.
  3. Invest in Resources: Books, workshops, counseling, and other tools can provide guidance and motivation.
  4. Practice Patience: Change is a marathon, not a sprint. Celebrate small victories along the way.
  5. Reflect Frequently: Regularly evaluate your progress. Ask yourself, “What’s working? What isn’t? What can I adjust?”

Moving Forward With Confidence

Change is rarely easy, but it’s always worth it. Facing challenges and breaking through barriers shows strength and resilience. By understanding the forces that hold you back, you’re better equipped to overcome them—whether you’re strengthening your relationship, tackling a parenting hurdle, or building a healthier family dynamic.

What’s your biggest barrier to change, and how have you conquered it? We’d love to hear your story! Share your experiences in the comments or join our growing community of individuals and families committed to personal growth and connection. Together, we can navigate the challenges of change and support one another along the way.

10 Reasons for Constant Fighting in Your Marriage or Relationship

10 Reasons for Constant Fighting in Your Marriage or Relationship

10 Reasons for Constant Fighting in Your Marriage

 

At Maplewood Counseling, we provide inclusive care for people of all races, cultures, and backgrounds, including interfaith, interracial, BIPOC, LGBTQIA+, and blended families. Our therapists bring lived experiences and specialized training to create a safe, affirming space for all.

10 Reasons for Constant Fighting in Your Marriage

Marriage is a partnership built on love and connection, but even the strongest couples can face challenges. Constant fighting can feel overwhelming, but understanding the root causes can help you work toward a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.


Common Reasons for Marital Conflict

 

Lack of Communication

Poor communication is one of the most common reasons couples fight. Misunderstandings, assumptions, and avoiding difficult conversations can lead to frustration and resentment.

  • Set aside time daily to talk openly about your feelings and needs.
  • Practice active listening by focusing on your partner’s words without planning your response.
  • Use “I” statements to express your emotions without placing blame.

Differences in Values and Goals

Couples may have different priorities, such as career aspirations, family planning, or lifestyle choices. These differences can create tension if not addressed.

  • Identify shared goals and work toward them together.
  • Be open to compromise and find middle ground.
  • Revisit your goals regularly as your relationship evolves.

Financial Stress

Money is a leading cause of stress in relationships. Disagreements about spending, saving, or financial priorities can lead to frequent arguments.

  • Create a joint budget to ensure transparency and mutual agreement.
  • Build an emergency fund to reduce financial anxiety.
  • Consider financial planning classes to improve money management skills.

Unequal Division of Household Responsibilities

When one partner feels they are doing more than their fair share of chores, it can lead to resentment and conflict.

  • Use a chore chart to divide responsibilities clearly.
  • Discuss each other’s strengths and preferences to allocate tasks effectively.
  • Check in regularly to ensure the division of labor remains fair.

Trust Issues

Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship. When trust is broken, it can lead to ongoing conflicts and emotional distance.

  • Be open and honest with your partner to rebuild trust.
  • Show consistency in your actions to demonstrate reliability.
  • Seek couples therapy to address deep-seated trust issues.

Intimacy and Emotional Disconnect

A lack of physical or emotional intimacy can make partners feel neglected or dissatisfied.

  • Schedule regular date nights to maintain connection.
  • Talk openly about your emotional and physical needs.
  • Spend quality time together without distractions.

Family Interference

Extended family can sometimes create stress in a marriage. In-law conflicts, parental expectations, or sibling dynamics can lead to disagreements.

  • Present a united front when dealing with family members.
  • Set clear boundaries to protect your relationship.
  • Support each other in maintaining these boundaries.

Personal Differences and Expectations

Differences in personality, interests, or expectations can create tension if not managed well.

  • Accept and appreciate each other’s unique qualities.
  • Be willing to compromise and find middle ground.
  • Engage in ongoing conversations to manage expectations.

Stress and External Pressures

Work, health, or other external pressures can add stress to your relationship, making conflicts more likely.

  • Practice self-care to manage stress and improve well-being.
  • Support each other during challenging times.
  • Consider therapy or support groups to address stress together.

Get Therapy to Manage Conflict in Your Relationship

Contact us today to schedule your first session and take the first step toward a calmer, more fulfilling relationship.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

 

1. Why do couples fight constantly?

Couples often fight due to poor communication, financial stress, trust issues, or differing values. Identifying the root cause can help resolve conflicts.

2. How can we improve communication in our marriage?

Set aside time for daily check-ins, practice active listening, and use “I” statements to express your feelings without blaming your partner.

3. What should we do if we have different goals or values?

Discuss your goals openly and look for shared priorities. Be willing to compromise and revisit your goals as your relationship evolves.

4. How can we rebuild trust after it’s been broken?

Rebuilding trust takes time and effort. Be honest, consistent, and open to seeking therapy if needed.

5. How can we manage financial stress together?

Create a joint budget, build an emergency fund, and consider financial planning classes to improve money management.

6. What can we do to improve intimacy in our relationship?

Schedule regular date nights, talk openly about your needs, and spend quality time together to strengthen your connection.

7. How do we handle family interference?

Set clear boundaries with family members and present a united front. Support each other in maintaining these boundaries.

8. When should we seek couples therapy?

If conflicts feel overwhelming or unresolved, therapy can provide tools to improve communication, rebuild trust, and strengthen your relationship.


Take the Next Step

Every marriage faces challenges, but with the right tools and support, you can overcome them. Counseling can help you and your partner improve communication, resolve conflicts, and build a stronger connection.

Call us today or schedule a session online. Let’s work together to create a more harmonious relationship.

Helpful Resources

 

10 Reasons for Constant Fighting in Your Marriage or Relationship

8 Challenges in an Open Marriage | Help with Trust Issues

8 Challenges in an Open Marriage

Help with Trust Issues, Communication, Boundaries
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8 Challenges in an Open Marriage

 

Navigating Trust: Communication, Boundaries, and Trust in Open Relationships

Open marriages, in which both partners agree to engage in romantic or sexual relationships with others, are becoming increasingly popular. Couples are exploring this lifestyle as a way to maintain their primary relationship while also seeking fulfillment from other connections. However, navigating an open marriage is not without its challenges. In this guide, we aim to highlight the eight main challenges that couples face in open marriages and offer insights and strategies to overcome them.

The 8 Main Challenges

While open marriages offer unique opportunities for growth and exploration, they also present several challenges.

1. Communication Is Key

Communication is the foundation of any relationship, but in open marriages, it becomes even more crucial. Regular, honest conversations about feelings, expectations, and experiences are essential to ensure both partners are on the same page.

Many couples find that setting aside dedicated time for these conversations helps maintain clarity and trust. Discussing boundaries, desires, and any discomforts openly can prevent misunderstandings and build a stronger connection.

Tools such as couples’ therapy or relationship coaching can also assist in fostering effective communication skills. These resources provide a neutral space for partners to express themselves and learn to listen actively.

2. The Role of Boundaries

Boundaries play a significant role in the success of an open marriage. They help define what is acceptable and what is not, ensuring both partners feel secure and respected.

Every couple’s boundaries will differ, but common ones include rules around emotional involvement, sexual health practices, and the disclosure of other relationships. It’s important to revisit and adjust these boundaries as the relationship evolves.

Clear boundaries reduce the risk of hurt feelings and misunderstandings, providing a framework within which both partners can operate confidently.

3. Jealousy and Trust Issues

Jealousy and trust issues are common in open marriages. Seeing your partner with someone else can be challenging, even if you intellectually support the concept.

Building trust involves consistent transparency and reassurance. Regular check-ins where both partners can express their feelings and concerns are vital. Trust-building activities, like shared experiences and quality time, can also reinforce your bond.

Understanding that jealousy is a natural emotion and finding ways to manage it constructively can help maintain a healthy relationship dynamic.

4. Navigating Social Stigma

Social stigma is a reality for many couples in open marriages. Society often holds traditional views on relationships, and deviating from these norms can invite judgment and misunderstanding.

Being selective about whom you share your relationship details with can protect your privacy and mental well-being. Engaging with supportive communities, both online and offline, can provide the acceptance and understanding that may be lacking elsewhere.

Educating others about open marriages can also help reduce stigma and promote a more inclusive understanding of different relationship models.

5. The Impact on Children

When children are involved, couples must consider how their open marriage might affect them. Open and age-appropriate communication about your relationship choices is crucial.

Ensuring stability and consistency in the child’s life should be a priority. Maintaining a loving and supportive home environment can mitigate any potential negative impact.

Seeking guidance from child psychologists or counselors can provide valuable insights on managing this aspect of an open marriage.

6. Success Stories and Community Support

Despite the challenges, many couples successfully navigate open marriages and thrive. Success stories can provide inspiration and practical tips for others considering or already in open relationships.

Being part of a supportive community can offer a sense of belonging and validation. Sharing experiences and learning from others can make the journey smoother and more enjoyable.

Online forums, local meetups, and workshops are great ways to connect with like-minded individuals and build a support network.

Conclusion

Open marriages present unique challenges, but with effective communication, clear boundaries, and mutual trust, couples can successfully navigate this lifestyle. By addressing jealousy, managing social stigma, considering the impact on children, and seeking community support, partners can enrich their primary relationship and explore new dimensions of personal growth.

We encourage you to share your experiences and join the conversation. Whether you’re new to open marriages or have years of experience, your insights can help others on their journey.

Explore more about the dynamics of open marriages and discover strategies to strengthen your relationship by booking a consultation with our experts today.

If you need help fwith open relationship challenges, get in touch. 

Get in touch now with Maplewood Counseling

Why Ending an Affair is Harder Than it Seems | See Reasons Here

 

How to Recognize and Stop Gaslighting

How to Recognize and Stop Gaslighting

Someone Gaslighting You?

Coping with Relationship Gaslighting?
 

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How to Recognize and Stop Gaslighting

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Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that involves making someone question their own thoughts, feelings, and reality. It often occurs in abusive relationships or toxic environments where the gaslighter wants to gain power and control over their victim.

But how can you recognize if you’re being gaslighted? And more importantly, how can you stop it?

Signs of Gaslighting

  • Constantly being told that your thoughts and feelings are wrong or invalid.
  • Doubting your own memory and perception of events.
  • Feeling confused, overwhelmed, or anxious in the presence of a certain person.
  • Apologizing excessively for things you didn’t do or say.
  • Making excuses for the gaslighter’s behavior to others.

How to Stop Gaslighting

  1. Set boundaries and stick to them: Clearly communicate what behavior is not acceptable and enforce your boundaries if they are crossed.
  2. Trust yourself: Don’t let the gaslighter make you doubt your own thoughts and feelings. Trust in your perception of events.
  3. Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend or family member about what

People resort to gaslighting for various reasons, primarily revolving around the desire to maintain control, perpetuate power imbalances, or evade accountability. They often fear losing their position of power, so they manipulate others’ perceptions of reality to keep them second-guessing and reliant. Could you be dealing with someone who is afraid of being challenged or held responsible for their actions? It’s essential to remember, their behavior is not a reflection of your worth or credibility. You deserve to trust in your own experiences and feelings. It’s okay to seek help and step away from manipulative dynamics. You’re not alone in this journey, and there’s support available for you.

The long-term effects of gaslighting can be profoundly damaging, often leading to a diminished sense of self and impaired trust in one’s own judgment. Over time, you may begin to question your own reality and doubt your perceptions, significantly eroding your self-confidence. This constant self-doubt can seep into all areas of your life, making you feel insecure and unsure in making decisions, both big and small. It can also lead to anxiety, depression, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in severe cases.

You might start to isolate yourself, pulling away from family and friends out of a fear of not being believed or understood. But remember, it’s not your fault. You’re not alone and it’s okay to reach out for help. Don’t let the gaslighter’s manipulation cloud your sense of self or your faith in your own experiences. Seeking professional help, like therapy or counseling, can be a crucial step in healing from the long-term effects of gaslighting. Always trust in your strength and resilience – remember, you’ve got this!

If you need help with gaslighting, reach out below.

Get in Touch with Maplewood Counseling in NJ

 

 

Does Marriage Counseling Work?

Does Marriage Counseling Work?

Does Marriage Counseling Work?

See How Effective Counseling Can Be
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Does Marriage Counseling Work?

 

What is the success rate of marriage counseling?

The best marriage counselors know it takes both partners to be open and willing to make some important changes. According to statistics for traditional types of marriage counseling, success rates can be 70-80%. It does, however, depend on the ability of a couple to work through and heal past painful issues – both people – in order for the counseling to be effective.

Can counseling fix a marriage?

Effective marriage counseling can always help a couple that is willing learn how to improve the relationship and heal painful experiences. This includes improving communication, healing betrayal and infidelity, and working through difficult family issues such as in-law problems, parenting style differences, blended and stepfamily problems and more.

What does a marriage counselor do?

A trained and experienced marriage counselor will assess your situation by hearing about your specific issues and struggles, get a sense for your communication style and dynamic and help a couple reduce certain ineffective and hurtful patterns. We help couples lern better ways to relate and resolve conflict to deepen their conenction.

Are marriage counselors worth it?

If you are stuck in a bad place, cannot resolve issues on your own, and are committed to making things work better, marriage counseling with the right therapist can be very worth it.

Is online marriage counseling effective?

Online marriage counseling can be as, if not more effective than marriage counseling in-person. Not only can it as effective as going to the office, it may also be a better option for many couples. If has been studied and reported that online marriage counseling can improve and help with a wide range of relationship issues.

When should you seek marriage counseling?

If you are unhappy and stuck in a bad place, cannot get to a better place on your own, need better ways to communicate and resolve conflict, after infidelity or an affair, or have painful family conflict.

Do marriage counselors ever recommend divorce?

Some therapists might recommend divorce and others would never suggest getting divorced and help a couple come to their own decisions. Sometimes one person wants to get divorced (leaning out) and the other is leaning in and wants to work on the marriage. Even the best marriage counselor cannot help a couple if one person if both people are not both committed to working on things together.

How do you know when marriage counseling isn’t working?

If one person or both are not willing to do what it takes to improve the relationship. Or if one person thinks the other person has to change something and is not open to reflecting on their own part in a marital problem. Or if there is a tremendous amount of contempt, criticism, stonewalling, or defensiveness that one person or the other ( or both) is not open to reducing and working on.

How do you know when your marriage is over?

When one person wants to end the marriage and is not willing to work through issues anymore. When issues cannot be resolved and/or there is a lack love, interest, or desire to make things work.

Can people fall back in love?

Experienced marriage therapists know anything is possible. It helps if both people are open, willing, and determined to get back to something positive and loving.

How do you know when it’s time to end your marriage?

Some of the most common reasons people get divorce are constant arguing and conflict, infidelity, and lack of commitment. The last straw reasons relationships end in divorce are unresolved infidelity and domestic violence.

What is the difference between marriage counseling and couple therapy?

Many experienced therapists will have a similar approach to couples struggling with issues and need help. Couples that are married and ones that are not still need help with the same types of issues. The difference might be whether or not there are children and extended family issues. However, many couples have these issues even if they are not married.

Should you go to counseling before divorce?

Many couples want to try counseling before considering divorce. Sometimes they consider discernment counseling to decide if they should stay or separate. After discernment counseling, which is maybe 4-5 sessions, some decide to commit to marriage counseling and others may separate.

 

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Problems with In-Laws?

Problems with In-Laws?

Family and Marital Conflict?

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In-Law Problems?

 
Are you and your partner having in-law problems? Do you get mad at your wife or husband for not standing up for you? Maybe you feel like you’re in the middle between your spouse and your family? 
 
Family dynamics and problems with a mother-in-law or father-in-law can cause a couple to feel hurt, angry and misunderstood. Trouble understanding each other‘s perspectives can make matters worse. 
 
Does this sound familiar?
 
  •  Your in-laws expect your spouse to put make them a priority and put them number one. 
  •  Your in-laws expect you to visit often or spend certain holidays with them. 
  •  You feel very angry at your partner for not standing up to his or her parents or other family members. 
  •  You hate when your spouse gets quiet rather than confronting his or her family when they don’t handle things well. 
  •  Maybe you dislike your in-laws and would prefer not seeing them, to the extent that you want your spouse to cut them off 
  •  You  hate the way your in-laws treat you and get angry at your partner for not protecting you
  •  You feel like you’re in the middle between your spouse and parents or siblings. 
 
Many couples experience struggles with extended family, at times. In order to resolve issues more effectively, it might be helpful to sit down with an experienced therapist that understands many perspectives and what to do about complicated family dynamics.
 
You’re not alone when it comes to complicated situations with in-laws. It can be very helpful to work together to manage these situations so it doesn’t impact your marriage or relationship. 
 
 
If you need help dealing with your in-laws more effectively, get in touch.
 

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