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The 2 Things That Can Make or Break Relationships

The 2 Things That Can Make or Break Relationships

Empathy & Taking Responsibilty

The 2 Things That Make or Break Relationships
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Empathy and Taking Responsibility in a Relationship

The 2 things that can be the saving grace for couples that are having serious issues.

Empathy and taking responsibility are two crucial elements in any successful relationship. Although they may seem like simple concepts, they can make all the difference when it comes to overcoming challenges and building a strong foundation for a lasting partnership.

The Importance of Empathy

Relationships are complex and require a lot of effort from both partners. One important aspect that can make or break a relationship is empathy. Being empathetic is when one person is able to understand, share (and validate!) the feelings of another person. In relationships, empathy plays a crucial role in creating emotional connection and building trust between partners.

Why is empathy hard for some people?

Empathy can be a difficult skill to master for many people. It requires one to put aside their own emotions and perspectives, and truly try to understand the experiences and feelings of their partner. This can be challenging because it means facing uncomfortable or unpleasant emotions, and may require vulnerability and openness.

Additionally, past experiences and traumas can also impact one’s ability to empathize. If someone has been hurt or betrayed in the past, they may struggle to fully open up and trust their partner, making it difficult to empathize with them.

However, empathy is an essential component of a healthy and successful relationship. Without empathy, partners may feel misunderstood and disconnected from each other, leading to conflicts and misunderstandings.

How can we cultivate empathy in our relationships?

  1. Practice active listening

Active listening is an important aspect of empathy. It involves paying full attention to what your partner is saying, without interrupting or judging them. This shows that you value their thoughts and feelings and are willing to listen and understand them.

  1. Put yourself in their shoes

Try to imagine what it would feel like to be in your partner’s situation. This can help you understand their perspective and empathize with them.

  1. Ask open-ended questions

Instead of assuming that you know how your partner feels, ask them open-ended questions to gain a deeper understanding of their emotions and experiences.

  1. Validate their feelings

It’s important to acknowledge and validate your partner’s feelings, even if you don’t agree with them. This shows that you understand and respect their emotions.

Overall, cultivating empathy in our relationships takes effort and practice. But by making an effort to understand and connect with our partners on a deeper level, we can create healthier and more fulfilling relationships. So next time you find yourself struggling to empathize, remember to put yourself in their shoes, ask open-ended questions, validate their feelings, practice self-awareness and seek support if needed. Empathy is a crucial aspect of any relationship and by incorporating it into our daily interactions, we can build stronger and more compassionate connections with those we care about. So keep practicing empathy and see the positive impact it can have on your relationships. Let’s strive to be more empathetic and understanding individuals, both in our personal and professional lives. Remember, empathy is a skill that can always be honed and improved upon. So let’s continue to practice and make it a priority in our relationships. By doing so, we can create a world filled with compassion, understanding, and love.

The Importance of Taking Responsibility in Relationships

In any relationship, taking responsibility for our own actions and behaviors is crucial. It shows maturity, honesty, and respect towards our partner. But why is it so important?

Firstly, taking responsibility allows us to grow and learn from our mistakes. When we acknowledge that we have done something wrong or hurtful, we can reflect on the situation and make changes to prevent it from happening again in the future. This not only benefits our relationship, but also ourselves as individuals.

Additionally, taking responsibility can prevent conflicts and misunderstandings from escalating. When we own up to our actions, it shows that we care about our partner’s feelings and are willing to work towards a resolution. It also creates a safe space for open and honest communication in the relationship.

Moreover, taking responsibility promotes trust and accountability in a relationship. When our partner sees that we are willing to take ownership of our actions, they are more likely to trust us and feel secure in the relationship. It also sets an example for them to do the same, creating a healthy and balanced dynamic.

However, it’s important to note that taking responsibility does not mean taking all the blame or constantly apologizing. It’s about acknowledging our role in a situation and taking steps to make amends and improve. It also doesn’t mean letting our partner off the hook for their own actions, but rather finding a mutual understanding and resolution.

In conclusion, taking responsibility is a crucial aspect of any relationship. It allows for growth, prevents conflicts, and promotes trust and accountability. By practicing maturity, honesty, and respect towards our partner, we can create a strong and healthy foundation for our relationship to thrive on. So the next time you find yourself in a disagreement or mistake, remember to take responsibility and communicate openly with your partner. This will only strengthen your bond and bring you closer together as a couple. Let’s strive towards healthy and fulfilling relationships by taking responsibility and being accountable for our actions. Let’s create a space where both partners feel heard, understood, and valued. Together, we can build a strong and lasting relationship that stands the test of time. Keep communicating, keep owning up to your actions, and watch your relationship flourish. Remember, it takes effort from both parties to make a relationship work, and taking responsibility is an essential part of that effort. Don’t be afraid to take the lead and set a positive example for your partner. Trust us, they will appreciate it and so will your relationship. So start practicing today, and see the difference it makes in your connection with your loved one!

Why is it hard for some people to take responsibility ?

Taking responsibility is not always easy, and some people struggle with it more than others. There are a few reasons why this may be the case:

  1. Fear of consequences – Many people are afraid to take responsibility because they fear the consequences of their actions. They may worry about being punished or judged harshly by others, which can make it difficult for them to admit when they are wrong.
  2. Ego and pride – Some individuals have a strong ego and take pride in never being wrong. They may see admitting fault as a sign of weakness, which can make it challenging for them to take responsibility for their mistakes.
  3. Lack of self-awareness – Some people lack self-awareness and struggle to recognize their own faults. They may not even realize when they have done something wrong, making it difficult for them to take responsibility.
  4. Blaming others – It can be easier for some people to blame others instead of owning up to their own actions. This not only avoids taking responsibility but also allows them to shift the blame onto someone else.
  5. Low self-esteem – People with low self-esteem may struggle to take responsibility because they have a negative view of themselves. They may believe that they are not capable or worthy enough to handle the consequences of their actions.

Overall, taking responsibility requires humility, self-awareness, and courage. It is not always easy, but it is an important aspect of personal growth and building strong relationships. By learning to take responsibility, we can become better individuals and improve our relationships with others.

Need to find better ways to resolve your differences? Get in touch

 

Get in touch now with Maplewood Counseling

5 Reasons People are Controlling in their Relationships

 

The 7 Stages of Gaslighting | Help for Individuals and Couples

The 7 Stages of Gaslighting | Help for Individuals and Couples

The 7 Stages of Gaslighting

Gas Lighting Puts Relationships at Risk
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The 7 Stages of Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a term that is used to describe a unique kind of emotional abuse and manipulation. It involves making someone question their reality and sanity through systematic psychological tactics. Understanding the stages of gaslighting is critical in recognizing and addressing this form of abuse, whether it’s happening to you or being perpetuated unknowingly by yourself.

Stage 1: Lie and Exaggerate

The gaslighter starts with lies and exaggerations to set a foundation for doubt.

Example: You’re made to feel unreasonable when expressing concerns about your partner’s sudden lack of communication by being accused of being suffocating.

Stage 2: Consistent Repetition

Repetition is used to assert dominance and control the narrative.

Example: Your employer continuously criticizes your performance despite evidence to the contrary, causing you to question your competence.

Stage 3: Escalate

When challenged, the gaslighter increases the intensity of their manipulation.

Example: Confronting a friend about their hurtful behavior only leads to denial and counter-blaming, leaving you feeling guilty for being ‘too sensitive’.

Stage 4: Wear Down the Victim

The victim’s resistance lowers due to the ongoing psychological strain.

Example: Persistent denials from a family member start to make you doubt your recollection of events.

Stage 5: Codependence

The gaslighter fosters an environment of emotional dependency by controlling the victim’s sense of autonomy.

Example: A partner’s unpredictable responses leave you feeling insecure and overly reliant on their approval.

Stage 6: False Hope

Intermittent positive reinforcement gives the victim moments of misguided optimism.

Example: A sudden outpouring of affection from the gaslighter makes you hope that the relationship is improving.

Stage 7: Dominate and Control

The ultimate goal is achieved when the victim is fully under the gaslighter’s influence.

Example: You find yourself constantly second-guessing your decisions due to the gaslighter’s manipulation, making you dependent on their guidance.

Awareness and Self-Reflection

Maplewood Counseling New Jersey for Couples, Individuals and Families

If you suspect you may be gaslighting others, it is important to reflect on your behavior and seek feedback from those around you. Gaslighting is often a behavior that originates from deep-seated emotional issues stemming from one’s past.

Example of Unawareness: You might not realize that by routinely dismissing your partner’s feelings as ‘overreactions,’ you’re invalidating their experience and potentially engaging in gaslighting.

Understanding these stages and examples can help victims recognize when they are being gaslighted and also aid potential gaslighters in identifying their own toxic behaviors. Healing childhood emotional wounds through therapy and self-reflection can prevent these patterns from perpetuating.

Recognizing gaslighting can be profoundly challenging, as it often happens gradually. If you find yourself relating to these stages, it’s critical to seek support from friends, family, or professionals who can provide perspective and validation of your experiences. Remember, you are not alone in this experience. It takes courage to face the truth and begin your journey towards healing and self-empowerment. So don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you need it. You deserve a healthy and respectful relationship with yourself and others.

Do you need help with how to handle gaslighting? Get in touch.

 

Get in touch now with Maplewood Counseling

 

Are You a People Pleaser?

Are You a People Pleaser?

Are You a People Pleaser?

5 Ways People Pleasing is Detrimental to Your Well-being
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Are You a People Pleaser ?

 

5 Ways People Pleasing is Detrimental to Your Well-being

In our intricate dance of human interaction, the steps of people-pleasing are often executed with grace and without much thought. From saying ‘yes’ when our time or resources are already stretched, to biting our tongues instead of expressing our true feelings, people-pleasing has become almost a second nature to many of us. Yet, despite the apparent altruistic facade this behavior wears, it’s laden with detrimental impacts that ripple through our well-being.

Understanding People-Pleasing

Before we dig into the complexities of this trait, what exactly is people-pleasing? It’s a behavioral pattern where one seeks to gain approval and validation from others by meeting their needs—real or perceived—while often compromising their own. People-pleasers are the consummate “yes men” or “yes women,” always ready to sacrifice their wants for the sake of maintaining a perceived harmony within social circles.

But what starts as a seemingly noble endeavor to keep the peace can lead to a number of harmful effects on both our mental and physical health. Here, we’ll explore five of the most common ways that people-pleasing strips away at our well-being.

1. Loss of Self-Identity

Defined by Others : When you’re constantly adjusting your behavior to suit the expectations of those around you, it’s easy to lose sight of who you are. People-pleasing can lead to a muddled self-identity, where what you think and feel becomes secondary to the validation you seek from others. You might even find it hard to articulate your own preferences without first considering the impact it will have on others.

Examples in Relationships: In romantic relationships, this might mean always deferring to your partner, never taking a stand, or not being able to express your own needs. In professional settings, it manifests as not advocating for a promotion or raise because you fear it will make you seem arrogant or disrupt the team dynamic.

2. Resentment and Burnout

The Heavy Cost of Yes: The more you say “yes” to others, the more you end up saying “no” to yourself. Over time, this imbalance leads to resentment. You might feel unappreciated or even become bitter towards those you once sought to please. Furthermore, the toll this behavior takes on your energy can lead to burnout, a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion.

Mental Health Repercussions: Resentment and burnout don’t just lead to negative feelings; they can impact your mental health. Chronic stress and overexertion are frequent companions to people who can’t resist the urge to please everyone. Left unchecked, they can increase your risk of depression, anxiety, and other stress-related disorders.

3. Inauthentic Relationships

Superficial Connections: Genuine connections are based on authenticity and mutual respect. However, in the world of a people-pleaser, relationships often become transactional. You give to get, and there’s an unspoken pressure to maintain this equilibrium by suppressing aspects of yourself that may not align with the “you” others want you to be.

Lack of Genuine Connections: When you’re more concerned with the outward appearance of your interactions than the actual content, conversations can become superficial and unfulfilling. Avoiding conflict or discomfort by people-pleasing can lead to a life full of relationships where you can’t be your true self, which ultimately diminishes the quality of your connections.

4. Stifled Personal Growth

Prioritizing Others’ Needs: People-pleasing often comes at the expense of personal growth. When your default is to meet others’ needs, personal development goals—whether they’re furthering your education, pursuing a new career, or setting ambitious life goals—tend to take a back seat.

Milestones Left Unchecked: For example, you might choose your college major based on your parents’ wishes rather than your own interests, leading to a career that doesn’t fulfill you. In another instance, you might forego opportunities for personal growth, such as staying in a job that underutilizes your skills because you’re afraid of change or disappointing others.

5. Setting Boundaries and Self-Care

Importance of Boundaries: One of the most effective antidotes to the poison that is people-pleasing is setting healthy boundaries. By clearly defining what you will and won’t do, you protect your well-being and gain more control over your time and energy.

Strategies for Self-Care: Self-care is another crucial skill in your defense against the harmful effects of people-pleasing. It’s important to prioritize activities that recharge you, whether that’s through exercise, hobbies, or spending time with loved ones. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for maintaining your emotional and mental health.

The Negative Impact of People Pleasing

While the short-term benefits of people-pleasing might include a feeling of being needed or liked, the long-term costs can be severe. From a diminished sense of self and inauthentic relationships to stifled personal growth and mental exhaustion, living to please others is a recipe for unhappiness and a less fulfilling life.

Encouragement for Self-Awareness and Self-Compassion:  The road to a less-pleasing life begins with self-awareness and self-compassion. Recognize the triggers that lead you to people-please and be kind to yourself as you work to establish more authentic connections and honor your true self. And remember, learning to say “no” to others is often a resounding “yes” to your own well-being.

Are you a people pleaser and need help making changes? We’re here to help.

 

Get in touch now with Maplewood Counseling

Is My Partner Quitting on the Relationship?

 

The 7 Stages of Gaslighting | Help for Individuals and Couples

Is My Partner Silently Quitting on Our Relationship?

Is My Partner Quietly Quitting?

Is Something Off With Your Relationship?
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Is My Partner Quietly Quitting?

 

Signs of a Partner Silently Quitting

Relationships are tricky and require a lot of effort from both parties involved to keep it going. However, sometimes things don’t work out as planned and your partner may decide to leave the relationship without even letting you know. This can come as a shock, especially if everything seemed fine just days before.

Here are some signs that your partner may be silently quitting the relationship:

Lack of Communication

Communication is key in any successful relationship. If you notice that your partner has suddenly stopped communicating with you or only responds with short and distant messages, it could be a sign that they are mentally checked out of the relationship.

Withdrawal from Activities

If your partner used to enjoy doing activities with you, such as going on dates or spending time together, but now seems disinterested and withdrawn from these activities, it could be a sign that they are slowly disconnecting from the relationship.

Changes in Behavior

Pay attention to any changes in your partner’s behavior. If they start acting differently towards you or seem distant and uninterested, it could be a sign of emotional detachment and a sign that they are ready to move on.

Avoiding Future Plans

If your partner avoids making any future plans with you or seems hesitant when discussing the future, it could be a sign that they no longer see themselves in a long-term relationship with you.

Lack of Intimacy

Physical intimacy is an important aspect of any romantic relationship. If your partner seems to be avoiding any type of intimacy or physical contact or does not seem interested in being intimate with you, it could be a sign that they have distanced and checked out of the relationship emotionally.

Increased Criticism

If your partner starts nitpicking and criticizing everything you do, it could be a sign of built-up resentment and frustration. This behavior can indicate that your partner is no longer invested in making the relationship work.

Lack of Effort

In a healthy relationship, both partners make an effort to keep the spark alive and maintain the connection. However, if your partner stops putting in any effort towards the relationship, it could be a sign that they have given up and are ready to move on.

Keeping an open line of communication with your partner is crucial in identifying any changes in behavior. It’s important to have honest and open conversations about your concerns and feelings in the relationship. If you notice any of these signs, it’s important to address them and try to work through any underlying issues in the relationship. Seeking couples counseling or therapy can help improve communication and reconnect with your partner.

Conclusion

While changes in behavior do not always mean the end of a relationship, it’s important to pay attention to these signs and address any underlying issues. Remember to prioritize communication, understanding, and effort in a healthy and fulfilling relationship. So, take care of your relationship and keep an eye out for these warning signs to maintain a strong and loving connection with your partner. Relationships require constant effort and commitment, but with open communication and a willingness to work through issues, you can overcome any challenges and continue building a strong foundation for your relationship. So don’t be afraid to communicate openly with your partner and seek help if needed – it’s worth the effort to have a happy and healthy relationship. Remember, it’s never too late to turn things around and strengthen your bond with your partner. Keep the communication lines open, address any issues that arise, and continue to show love and support for each other. With these efforts, you can overcome any challenges and maintain a strong and lasting relationship. So keep working on your relationship, and don’t let any signs of trouble go unnoticed – together, you can weather any storm.

Is Your Partner Quielty Quitting on You?

Couples or individual therapy can help if your see signs that your partner or spouse is silently quitting on the relationship.  If you need help, reach out.

Have questions for us? Get in touch

 

The 7 Stages of Gaslighting | Help for Individuals and Couples

10 Signs Your Relationship is in Trouble – Checklist for Couples

10 Signs Your Relationship is in Trouble

A Checklist for Couples & Individuals
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10 Signs Your Relationship is in Trouble 

A Checklist to Help Individuals & Couples

10 Signs Your Relationship is in Trouble ( and needs help )

There are many signs that may indicate your relationship is in trouble. Here are six common warning signals to watch out for:

1. Constant Arguments:

One of the most obvious signs that your relationship is facing problems is constant arguments and fights. When disagreements become more frequent and intense, it can be a sign that there are underlying issues that need to be addressed.

2. Lack of Communication:

Communication is essential in any successful relationship. If you find yourself not talking to your partner as much or avoiding difficult conversations, it may be a red flag that something is wrong. Effective communication is essential for any relationship to thrive. If you and your partner are not communicating regularly or openly, it could be a sign of underlying issues. It’s important to create a safe space for open and honest communication in order to address any problems and maintain a strong connection.

3. Loss of Intimacy:

Intimacy is an important aspect of a romantic relationship. If you and your partner have stopped being intimate or the level of intimacy has significantly decreased, it may be a sign that there are deeper issues at play. This could be a result of emotional or physical distance, lack of time and effort put into the relationship, or unresolved conflicts. It’s important to address any issues surrounding intimacy in order to maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

4. Feeling Disconnected:

If you feel like you and your partner are growing apart or have become disconnected, it could be a sign that your relationship is in trouble. This feeling of disconnection can arise when you and your partner are not making time for each other, or when there is a lack of effort being put into the relationship.

5. Trust Issues:

Trust is the foundation of any successful relationship. If you find yourself questioning your partner’s actions or intentions, it could indicate underlying trust issues in the relationship. This could

5. Criticism and Contempt:

Criticism and contempt towards each other are destructive behaviors that can erode a relationship. If you or your partner constantly criticize or show contempt towards each other, it may be a sign of underlying resentment and unhappiness in the relationship.

6. Lack of Trust:

Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship. If you find yourself constantly questioning your partner’s actions or not being able to trust them, it may be a sign that there are issues of honesty and openness in the relationship.

7. Emotional Distance:

Emotional distance between partners can be another warning sign of trouble in a relationship. If you feel disconnected from your partner or they seem emotionally distant, it may be a sign that there are unresolved issues and a lack of emotional support in the relationship.

8. Changes in Behavior:

If your partner’s behavior has significantly changed or they seem distant and secretive, it may be a sign of underlying issues in the relationship. They may be struggling with personal problems or may have lost interest in the relationship. Communication is key in addressing these changes and working through any issues together.

9. Lack of Quality Time:

Spending quality time with your partner is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship. If you notice that you and your partner rarely spend time together or they consistently prioritize other things over spending time with you, it could be a sign that there are underlying issues affecting the relationship. It’s important to communicate your concerns and make an effort to prioritize quality time together.

10. Lack of Emotional Support:

Feeling emotionally supported and validated by your partner is crucial for a healthy relationship. If you consistently feel unsupported or dismissed by your partner, it may be a sign that there are unresolved issues affecting the relationship. It’s important to communicate your needs and concerns and work together to address any underlying problems.

Do may of these signs apply to your relationship? It is important to get help if trying to fix things on your own has not worked. One things we see as couples therapists is the need to act on situaitons like this sooner than later. Timing is everything.

Need help with your marriage or relaitonship?

Getting couples therapy can help if your relationship is disconnected and in trouble. If you notice any of these warning signs in your relationship, it’s important to address them and seek help if needed. This could include couples therapy, marriage counseling, and sometimes relationship help by yourself. It’s also important to prioritize self-care and take care of your own mental and emotional well-being. Therapy can help you understand how to get better at understanding how to improve your connection and address any issues. If you feel your relationship is in trouble, please reach out for help.

Have questions for us? Get in touch

 

The 7 Stages of Gaslighting | Help for Individuals and Couples

Understanding and Overcoming Controlling Behaviors

Understanding and Overcoming Controlling Behaviors

 

At Maplewood Counseling, we provide inclusive care for people of all races, cultures, and backgrounds, including interfaith, interracial, BIPOC, LGBTQIA+, and blended families. Our therapists bring lived experiences and specialized training to create a safe, affirming space for all.

Anger Management Counseling at Maplewood Counseling

Are you struggling with the need to control things in your life? Do you find that this need affects your relationships? Understanding the reasons behind controlling behaviors is the first step toward finding a healthier balance.

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What Does It Mean to Be Controlling?

Controlling behaviors often come from a feeling of being out of control. It can be a way to cope with deep-seated fears or insecurities. A person might feel inadequate or afraid of being seen as a fraud. This can lead to actions like gaslighting or guilt-tripping to maintain a sense of power.

However, the desire for control isn’t always negative. Sometimes, it comes from a genuine place of concern. A parent might want to protect their child, or a friend may try to keep a loved one from making a mistake.

In relationships, a strong need for control can be damaging. It creates an imbalance of power and can lead to resentment, anger, and mistrust. The person being controlled may feel like they have lost their independence. Letting go of control, on the other hand, is a sign of trust and respect. It allows for open communication and a more equal partnership.

To break free, it’s important to understand what drives the need for control. This might involve exploring past experiences or insecurities. Learning to communicate your needs clearly without trying to control others is key. It’s also about learning to accept that some things are simply out of our hands. Embracing this uncertainty can open you up to new experiences.

5 Common Reasons People Are Controlling

The need to control others can make relationships with a partner or children very challenging. Here are some of the most common reasons why people develop controlling behaviors.

  1. Insecurity: Deep-seated insecurities are a primary cause. When people feel they are not good enough, they may try to control others to feel more powerful and important.
  2. Fear of Losing Control: Some people fear losing control in their own lives. This often comes from past situations where they felt helpless. They try to control others to create a sense of stability.
  3. A Need for Perfection: Controlling people often need things to be perfect. They can become anxious when things don’t go according to plan and may try to manage others to ensure a perfect outcome.
  4. Lack of Trust: A lack of trust in themselves or others can also be a factor. They might feel they are the only ones who can do things correctly and fear that others will let them down.
  5. Relationship Insecurity: People with low self-esteem may fear being abandoned. They might try to control their partner’s actions to prevent the relationship from ending.

Past trauma can also lead to controlling behaviors. If someone grew up in a household where control was used to maintain power, they may learn to use it themselves as a way to feel safe.

What If People Call You a “Control Freak”?

Being seen as controlling can cause a lot of friction in your relationships. It can lead to anger, resentment, and frequent conflicts. This behavior might show up as being manipulative, demanding, or overly critical.

It’s important to remember that being controlling doesn’t make someone a bad person. Often, it comes from a fear of losing control or a need for security. However, since this behavior can damage relationships, it’s important to address it.

Open communication is one of the most effective tools. Both people in a relationship need to be able to express their feelings without fear of confrontation. Setting and respecting boundaries is also vital. This means recognizing your partner’s right to make their own choices.

Learning to let go is also a part of the process. Trying to manage every situation will only lead to frustration. Accepting that some things are out of your control can lead to healthier, happier relationships.

How to Reduce the Need to Control Others

  1. Acknowledge the Behavior: The first step is to recognize that you are being controlling. This can be hard, as you may not see your actions in that light or may feel they are justified.
  2. Practice Letting Go: Understand that you can’t control everything. Trying to do so only leads to disappointment. Accepting things as they are can reduce the need to control others.
  3. Build Your Self-Esteem: Low self-esteem can fuel the need to control. Working on your confidence will help you feel more secure in yourself, so you won’t need to rely on controlling others.
  4. Communicate Better: Often, controlling behavior is a substitute for effective communication. Learn to express your needs and concerns clearly and respectfully.
  5. Seek Professional Help: If the behavior is deeply ingrained or stems from past trauma, therapy can be very helpful. A therapist can help you work through the underlying issues.

Ready to Find a Healthier Balance?

The need to control others may come from a place of fear, but it can harm your relationships and your own personal growth. By understanding your motivations, practicing healthy communication, and respecting others, you can break free from controlling patterns.

Working on these tendencies can help you build fulfilling relationships based on mutual trust and understanding. It’s an ongoing process, but the reward of healthier connections is worth the effort.

Therapy can help you understand and reduce your need to control things around you. If this behavior is causing problems in your life or relationships, please reach out for help.

Frequently Asked Questions About Controlling Behaviors

 

What are the signs of controlling behavior in a relationship?
Controlling behaviors can include telling someone what to do, needing to know where they are at all times, or making decisions without including others. You might also notice patterns of criticism, threats, or guilt-tripping.

Why do people become controlling?
This often starts from deeper feelings like insecurity, fear, or a need for stability. Some people learned controlling habits from tough experiences or past relationships.

How can controlling behaviors impact my relationship?
These behaviors can hurt trust, cause resentment, and make partners or loved ones feel small or unheard. Over time, relationships can become strained or distant.

Can controlling behaviors be changed?
Yes. With self-awareness, practice, and support, most people can learn to manage these habits. Therapy is a safe place to work on this, either individually or as a couple.

Is it normal to want some control in relationships?
It’s normal to want to feel secure and understood. Healthy relationships respect each person’s boundaries and need for independence, while allowing for compromise and shared decisions.

What should I do if someone says I’m controlling?
Try to listen openly. It might hurt to hear, but their feedback can help you see things from their perspective. Working with a therapist can help you explore new ways to communicate and support each other.

When should I seek professional help?
If controlling behaviors are causing pain, frequent arguments, or isolation, seeking help can make a big difference. Therapists can guide you through understanding and changing these patterns to support a healthier connection for everyone involved.


Ready to take the next step?

If you’re looking to break free from controlling patterns and create stronger, more satisfying connections, we’re here for you. Contact Maplewood Counseling today to learn how compassionate guidance can support you and your relationships. Book your confidential session now—we’re ready to help you move forward.

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