Does Marriage Counseling Work?

See How Effective Counseling Can Be

Does Marriage Counseling Work?

What is the success rate of marriage counseling?

The best marriage counselors know it takes both partners to be open and willing to make some important changes. According to statistics for traditional types of marriage counseling, success rates can be 70-80%. It does, however, depend on the ability of a couple to work through and heal past painful issues – both people – in order for the counseling to be effective.

Can counseling fix a marriage?

Effective marriage counseling can always help a couple that is willing learn how to improve the relationship and heal painful experiences. This includes improving communication, healing betrayal and infidelity, and working through difficult family issues such as in-law problems, parenting style differences, blended and stepfamily problems and more.

What does a marriage counselor do?

A trained and experienced marriage counselor will assess your situation by hearing about your specific issues and struggles, get a sense for your communication style and dynamic and help a couple reduce certain ineffective and hurtful patterns. We help couples lern better ways to relate and resolve conflict to deepen their conenction.

Are marriage counselors worth it?

If you are stuck in a bad place, cannot resolve issues on your own, and are committed to making things work better, marriage counseling with the right therapist can be very worth it.

Is online marriage counseling effective?

Online marriage counseling can be as, if not more effective than marriage counseling in-person. Not only can it as effective as going to the office, it may also be a better option for many couples. If has been studied and reported that online marriage counseling can improve and help with a wide range of relationship issues.

When should you seek marriage counseling?

If you are unhappy and stuck in a bad place, cannot get to a better place on your own, need better ways to communicate and resolve conflict, after infidelity or an affair, or have painful family conflict.

Do marriage counselors ever recommend divorce?

Some therapists might recommend divorce and others would never suggest getting divorced and help a couple come to their own decisions. Sometimes one person wants to get divorced (leaning out) and the other is leaning in and wants to work on the marriage. Even the best marriage counselor cannot help a couple if one person if both people are not both committed to working on things together.

How do you know when marriage counseling isn’t working?

If one person or both are not willing to do what it takes to improve the relationship. Or if one person thinks the other person has to change something and is not open to reflecting on their own part in a marital problem. Or if there is a tremendous amount of contempt, criticism, stonewalling, or defensiveness that one person or the other ( or both) is not open to reducing and working on.

How do you know when your marriage is over?

When one person wants to end the marriage and is not willing to work through issues anymore. When issues cannot be resolved and/or there is a lack love, interest, or desire to make things work.

Can people fall back in love?

Experienced marriage therapists know anything is possible. It helps if both people are open, willing, and determined to get back to something positive and loving.

How do you know when it’s time to end your marriage?

Some of the most common reasons people get divorce are constant arguing and conflict, infidelity, and lack of commitment. The last straw reasons relationships end in divorce are unresolved infidelity and domestic violence.

What is the difference between marriage counseling and couple therapy?

Many experienced therapists will have a similar approach to couples struggling with issues and need help. Couples that are married and ones that are not still need help with the same types of issues. The difference might be whether or not there are children and extended family issues. However, many couples have these issues even if they are not married.

Should you go to counseling before divorce?

Many couples want to try counseling before considering divorce. Sometimes they consider discernment counseling to decide if they should stay or separate. After discernment counseling, which is maybe 4-5 sessions, some decide to commit to marriage counseling and others may separate.

Want to see if our qulity, short term marriage counseling can help? Get in Touch.

On the Brink of Divorce?

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

On the Brink of Divorce

Marriage & Discernment Counseling

Essex County NJ

Marriage on the Brink of Divorce ?

Is your relationship on the brink of divorce? Are you at a serious point and know something has to give. Do you wonder if you can break out of these negative patterns or if you need to split up? Certainly, you know you need to make a change – one way or the other.

If you’re at this point, it makes sense to sit down with a professional before you make matters worse. Marriage counseling is a good option when both people are open and willing to work on the relationship. In contrast, discernment counseling is an option for couples stuck in bad place and not sure they are committed to working on the marriage. Both parties may not be open and willing to work on the marriage or feel hopeless, so that’s what discernment counseling can help with. It helps a couple sort through issues in a safe place so you can make some decisions.

On the Brink of Divorce

You’re not alone if you’ve had trouble turning things around on your own. Possibly you waited too long before getting help even tough your partner asked repeatedly to go to couples therapy. You may not have been ready at that time. Maybe you tried therapy once or twice before – it might have helped a little or not at all. Regardless, your both ready to take the next step.

Questions and Concerns about Divorce

How will it affect the kids
How will it affect our lifestyle and finances
I’m scared of being alone and fear the end of the marriage
I still love my spouse and don’t want a divorce
I don’t love my spouse anymore (or maybe you never really did)
I don’t love my partner anymore and wonder if I should stay for the sake of the kids

Stay Together or Separate?

Is it at all possible to feel good about each other again? Is it possible to get back to a good place again? Maybe there has been too much damage, neglect, abuse over time. If the disconnect has gone on too long or one spouse does not want to work on the relationship anymore, it is important to see what to do at this point.

A good therapist can make it safe enough for both people to really be open and honest discussion about the next step. If you need help, get in touch.

Being There During Hard Times

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

NJ Counseling for Challenging Times

Couples, Individuals, Families

Essex County New Jersey

Being There – How to Support Your Loved One

Wondering the best ways to be there for a family member that is going through a hard time? Maybe you’re not clear on how what to do if a spouse, partner or child needs support. For that reason, there are some helpful things you can do to help a loved one going through a hard time.

Maybe you think it is best to try to “fix” their emotional or physical pain. Seems like some advice or suggestions about what will help is what he or she needs. Certainly, it’s not easy to when someone you love is suffering. Even more, it feels pretty awful to feel so powerless when a family member struggles.

Best Ways to Be There

First of all, one of the best ways to be there is to be present and listen. So, allowing your loved one to talk and share without interruption will help. Secondly, you can ask what if there is anything you can do rather than offer advice. Because most people just want someone to listen and make it safe to share.

In contrast, how can you really be there when someone is struggling and not open to help. After all, some men, women and children do not want to talk. Whether he or she is suffering with depression, anxiety, some people are not open to help. Therefore, you have to know what to do with your own fear, feeling of powerlessness and emotional pain. Certainly, these situations are incredibly painful.

Getting Help for Your Own Feelings and Fear

There is something that will help deal with fear, worrying, judgment and struggle with acceptance of your circumstance and what your loved one is dealing with. Mindfulness is a very effective way of working with all of the thing that you can’t control and find more peace even in the most difficult circumstance. Furthermore, developing a better way of dealing with your own emotional and physical pain will help you manage all of life’s challenges.

If you want help developing the skill of mindfulness, get in touch.

Mindfulness Deepens Connections

Do You Fight Over Your In-Laws?

Anxiety, Relationships

Problems With In-Laws?

Family & Marital Therapy

Fights over in laws?

Do you need help resolving in-law issues?

You’re not alone if you struggle and fight about your parents or your spouses parents. Even if in-laws mean well, it doesn’t always translate into their actions.

So many couples struggle dealing with a mother-in-law or father-in-law. It can be so complicated and cause one spouse to feel like they’re in the middle and they want their partner to get along with their parent (s)

Easier said than done.Are you constantly hearing “you didn’t protect me”, “ you didn’t stand up for me me “, “Your mom or parents are awful to me and you say nothing”. Do you feel your wife or husband does things that offend your family? Do you fear saying something to your family even though you can understand what your spouse feels? Do you struggle understanding and see what your parents are doing that might bother your wife or husband? It does make sense if you are used to the way your parents do things and your spouse is not, then you might not really understand why they are having such a hard time. These situations are delicate and you can work through them so that there isn’t so much pain and anger and disconnect.

There are somethings you both can do to get better at understanding and being there for each other through these in-law ups and downs. Discussing in a safe place with a trained and experienced marital therapist (or coupes counselor) for starters. A place where you can get help listening and understand and validating the experience rather than defending against or arguing.

Get in touch if you’re having a lot of problems dealing with a mother-in-law or Other in law’s. It’s common in relationships and there is something you can do.

In a Disconnected Relationship?

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

Disconnected Relationship ?

Couples & Marriage Counseling

Maplewood Counseling

In a Disconnected Relationship?

Unable to listen or understand one another?

What causes disconnect?

When you resort to constant criticism when you can’t get through and feel heard
If you feel like you don’t matter and are not important
Because you don’t feel safe enough emotionally to hang in there when one of you are upset and argue
If you hold back and do not share how you feel since it seems gets you nowhere
When you defend yourself instead of really trying to understand and listen to you partner’s concerns
Since you need help approaching rather than avoiding dealing with issues
Because you are not kind, empathetic and compassionate

The Disconnected Relationship

If you understand what makes it difficult it will help you do a better job in your relationship. Maybe there is a lack of awareness of how past experiences and role models are influencing the way relate today. So if you are both open and willing, you can get better at these very important things…listening, understanding, accepting, supporting and forgiving.

Most importantly, the very things that helps couples feel more connected are feeling important, safe, and comforted in times of need. Therefore, this is what will help improve communication, intimacy, heal from infidelity and many other difficult issues. Also this will hep you deal with parenting, in-law or other family conflict. Understanding your patterns and breaking habits will help you move in the right direction. It is not an instant process and takes work learn how be there (in ways your partner needs not what you think they need), be open (listen, reflect on the past to become more aware, and try to understand) , be honest (saying how your really feel in ways the other person will be more inclined to hear it) and be kind (see what makes it difficult to be kind, empathetic and compassionate) .

From disconnected relationship to secure, connected relationship.

If you are willing and open, you can work on the things that will make you feel more connected and “wanted”. It will be very worthwhile in connecting in your relationship in ways that feel good to both of you.

Need help making this happen? Are you both open to change? Get in touch and let us know. We’re here when you’re ready.

Couples Therapist for a Disconnected Relationship

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

Skilled Therapist for Couples

Improve Your Relationship

Need a Couples Therapist? | Are You a Couple in Need of Help?

An experienced couples therapist can help many couples struggling with communication, infidelity, intimacy and other issues. Have your been unhappy for long time trying to fix things on your own. Many couples are not sure how to get more connected and resolve relationship problems.

Does this sound familiar?

You’re not sure if you want to stay in your marriage or relationship
You’ve been so unhappy for so long and you’ve built up a wall
You are both unable to connect in ways that feel good anymore
You never have sex and are not sure what to do about it at this point
You definitely feel alone and sad
You do not feel like you are a priority (or way down the list)
You are feeling like the marriage or relationship does not matter

Are you looking for NJ couples therapist to help you and partner? Are you and your wife or husband unhappy in your relationship and not sure if you want to stay? Wondering if any professional help can turn things around?

Please feel free to contact us and let us know how we can help.

Ways to Improve Your Relationship