Maplewood Counseling

Alone After Divorce?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Alone After Divorce?

Having Trouble Coping?
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Alone After Divorce?

Are you struggling and alone after divorce?

The end of a marriage can be very painful.  You tried so hard to make it work. Now you’re feeling tremendous sadness and loss.  A failed relationship can cause both parties to feel shame, grief and make it hard to function.  Many have a lot of trouble sleeping, eating and feel very isolated and alone.

Your marriage may have ended for any number of reasons:

  • you could not recover from the feelings of betrayal after an affair
  • you were treated with disrespect and emotionally abused and you just could not take it anymore
  • you slowly lost feelings for one another
  • you just could not work out your differences and connect in positive ways

Regardless of the reasons for breaking up, living alone after divorce can bring up feeling of grief and loss like you’ve never felt before.  In some situations, dealing with angry, sad or confused children can only make matters worse.  Even if you struggle with feelings of hostility and anger toward your ex (or visa versa), it is best for everyone to get some help processing and dealing with those feelings so they don’t cause even more damage and pain. We’ve seen many couples manage to get to a peaceful place even when they did not think it could be possible.

If you’re living or feeling alone after divorce there are people out there that can help you.  You’re not alone. Whether it’s a therapist experienced with divorce counseling or some type of group that helps men and women going through divorce, you can find someone to help you get through this difficult time.

If you need help and live or work in Essex County, NJ, get in touch.  We’re here to help.

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

 

Finding Relationship Help

Relationships

Relationships in Need of Help

Getting to a Better Place
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Need Relationship Help?

Some of us look forward to weekends with our loved ones — no work and time for closeness, romance, and relaxation. Right? The reality for many is that weekends are much than difficult than work days. because rather than feel excited about being together and connected to one another, you feel lonely and disappointed. Spending time with someone who makes you feel miserable instead of loved, can be very painful. Are you in need of relationship help and wonder what to do?

After a bad stretch, some people may pick up the phone and reach out for professional help and others might look for self help books or online support or resources.

Here are some helpful videos by John Gottman that describehow to make relationships work.

Getting Relationship Help

Making Relationships Work Part 1

Making Relationships Work Part 2

Making Relationships Work Part 3

Making Relationships Work Part 3

  • Criticism (criticism is dangerous to a relationship)
  • Contempt (mocking and acting superior is toxic for a relationship and actually erodes the immune system)
  • Defensiveness (toxic because people are not taking responsibility for part of the problem)
  • Stonewalling (toxic because it seems you’re disengaged and couldn’t care less about what your partner is saying or doing)

If you’ve been unsuccessful trying to improve things on your own, it may be time to call an experienced marriage or relationship therapist. It’s an important (and sometimes difficult) step to understanding and working toward changing some destructive patterns in your relationship.

We hope you find this information useful as you search for relationship help and try and build a stronger and more satisfying relationship.

Trying to End An Affair & Therapy?

Trying to End An Affair & Therapy?

Relationships

Trying To End An Affair?

Counseling Can Help
Couples & Individuals

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

Are You Trying to End an Affair?

Trying to end an affair? Can you stop infidelity from continuing to damage you and your marriage or relationship?

Trying to end an affair that has been causing you to feel depressed in addition to hurting your marriage or relationship? Trying to pick up the pieces and cope emotionally with the loss? Not sure if you can or even want to reconnect with your spouse or partner ( who may or may not know about the infidelity)?

Wondering if you and your relationship can heal? Is it possible to reconnect with your spouse or partner and get more of what you need from marriage or relationship or do you feel like you can’t stay with your spouse any longer?

Certainly day to day stressors, kids and work responsibilities can be anything but romantic. Maybe your marriage became one of focusing on your children, work and chores leaving you drained and exhausted. The routine can make couples slowly drift apart, leaving both partners vulnerable to the attention of another man or woman. Infidelity, which is usually a symptom of a problem in your relationship, may be hard to resist especially if it’s something you have not felt in a long time – or ever.

Trying to End an Affair

When the affair has caused too much pain and guilt,you may feel it’s time to let go. Easier said than done, especially if you are emotionally connected and letting go feels like a very painful loss.  Maybe you’ve already tried a few times to break-off the affair – only to feel drawn back in. Feeling desired and appreciated is hard to resist, especially if it is something that has been lacking (or missing) in your relationship.  On the other hand, coping with letting go and the feelings of grief about giving up the way the other man or woman made you feel can be very painful. To complicate things, you’re usually alone and can’t get the support you need because it may not easy to share the details of infidelity with others.

Trying to End an Affair

Is this you?

  • the affair made you feel things you’ve never felt – in good ways and bad
  • you’ve been dishonest with your spouse or partner and feel very guilty about it
  • you’re ready to commit to giving your marriage or relationship another chance
  • you’re having trouble coping with the pain of trying to let go
  • you’re struggling with the pull of the affair and seeking the good feelings it used to give you ( only to feel more pain they are no longer there)
  • you’re not sure if you want to stay in your marriage and if you can reconnect with your spouse or partner

The next step – Grieving, Healing and Reconnecting With your Spouse (if that’s possible)

A non-judgmental, experienced and understanding therapist can help if you’re trying to end an affair and take the next steps in your life and relationship. Get in touch and let us know if we can help you.

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

Feeling Isolated and Alone?

Depression, Gay Issues, Grief, Relationships

Feel Isolated and Alone?

Not Sure What to DO?
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Feeling Isolated and Alone?

 

Maplewood Marriage Counseling Couples Therapy NJ

 

Are you feeling isolated and alone? Is isolating causing you to feel depressed and ashamed or is it the other way around? Social or emotional isolation can have very painful consequences. It can even affect your health.

Alone Time – Is it Helping or Hurting?

Spending time alone can be a very healthy way to deal with a busy, stressful life. It’s a way of emotionally and mentally recharging. It’s great to have some quiet time to relax, deal with stress and do things you enjoy.  After all, everyone could use a break from day to day responsibilities, whether it’s work,  family or household responsibilities. There are many benefits to finding time for yourself.

However, if spending time alone is more about avoiding others and fearing interacting with others ( friends, family, at work), it can hurt you. Isolating might feel like the safer option, but it can make you feel worse.

Why do people isolate?

  • you feel sad ( and/or ashamed) and learned it’s safer to withdraw rather than risk reaching out to others for help
  • you feel ashamed or struggling with low self esteem or self worth
  • you feel depressed and have never felt like anyone can help or cares
  • you’re grieving over the loss of a family member or going through a painful divorce or break up
  • you’re in a painful marriage or relationship and feel very alone and can’t let people know how awful you’re feeling
  • you don’t feel like you have people who can you can trust to be there for you
  • social interactions feel more painful than isolating
  • you struggle making friends or dealing with others in social situations
  • you’ve moved to a new area ( common  in Maplewood and South Orange ) and it’s hard to make new friends and get connected
  • you have a new baby and the change feels isolating
  • you’re an introvert and/or a highly sensitive person ( HSP ) that is finding it more difficult, overwhelming and draining to put yourself out there

If you’re feeling isolated and alone and have pulled away from people in your life, find out what may help connect. You have to feel safe enough to reach out and stop isolating.

Therapy and support groups can help deal with the issues that make you isolate. You can find ways to deal with your fears and anxiety to get more connected and socially engaged. For some people, it might mean learning how to reconnect with family and friends you can trust, and with others, it might mean finding a support group or other support network to help you.

Feeling Isolated and Alone

Reach out for help when you’re ready. Get in touch here contact us.

We hope you find this helpful.

What is a Healthy Marriage

Relationships

What is a Health Marriage

Emotionally Focused Therapy
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What is a Healthy Marriage ?

Help for Your Relationship | Marriage Counseling NJ

Do you feel alone and unhappy in your relationship? Are you getting caught up in negative cycles and patterns? Need help getting to a better place?

It’s very painful to feel alone in a relationship. It can actually feel worse than being alone.

Is your partner there for you? Do you matter to him or her? If you have a few minutes, watch these videos to help you understand what you need to do to improve your relationship.

Videos to help you and your spouse or partner

  • What is a healthy marriage?
  • How can I tell if my relationship will last?
  • How can I tell if my marriage is in trouble?
  • Do opposites attract? (And should they?)

What is a Healthy Marriage?

 

How can I tell if my marriage is in trouble?

Relationship expert Sue Johnson identifies warning signs in a marriage and what you can do to prevent issues from destroying your relationship.

How can I tell if my relationship will last?

Sue Johnson reveals how to tell if your relationship will stand the test of time.

Do opposites attract? (And should they?)

We hope you find these videos helpful.

Finding a marriage counselor in New Jersey

Does this sound familiar?

  • you feel alone, like you don’t matter.
  • you distance and isolate when things get bad.
  • you attack or feel attacked, criticized and misunderstood.
  • you want your spouse to listen and understand what you need.
  • you think it’s hopeless and wonder about ending your marriage.
  • you rarely have sex (sexual desire problems or not often enough) or show any other type of affection or closeness.
  • you feel neglected and/or feel your spouse puts the children first.
  • you are coping with trust issues or the betrayal of an affair.

If you’re in need of help, contact us.

Want more information about couples therapy or relationship counseling, see the following:

Dr. Sue Johnson founded the INTERNATIONAL CENTRE FOR EXCELLENCE IN EMOTIONALLY FOCUSED THERAPY (ICEEFT) in 1998.

“ICEEFT serves as a centre of excellence for the promotion of secure, resilient and successful relationships between partners and within families. Our mission includes the further expansion and refinement of the Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) model through process and outcome research. Another central aspect of our mission is to educate health professionals and to increase public awareness about the efficacy of EFT and its role in strengthening relationship bonds.” Source: Emotionally Focused Therapy