Spiritual Relationships

Couples Counseling NJ

Spiritual Relationships

Mindful & Spiritual Relationships

There is a Insights at the Edge podcast with Elizabeth Lesser, author and spiritual teacher. She has tremendous wisdom and when asked what does it meant to be spiritual, she simply responded “to be generous, calm, loving and fearless”. Couples and individuals that are committed to this process can greatly improve the way they feel . Applying all of these to relationships with love ones will create stronger bonds and deeper connections. Another positive outcome for many people that practice mindfulness is health benefits that go beyond peace of mind and happier relationships. You do not have to be spiritual or religious to benefit from becoming more generous, calm, loving and fearless.

Be generous – being generous does not mean only being generous financially. It includes really listening and generously giving someone your time and full, loving attention. Generosity also includes noticing the positive and actually verbalizing with compliments, appreciations,. etc…. Pay attention to and appreciate the nice things others do for you. someone and the things they do, offering help and support, and paying genuine, authentic compliments. You can also be generous by way of service, volunteer work and helping others. Being generous is giving from the heart without expecting anything in return. This can be challenging in relationships if you are focused too much on getting what you want or angry if you don’t get what you need. It can take work to develop a more generous way of relating.

Be Calm – Emotional reactivity in relationships often leads to anger, resentment and conflict. Paying attention and becoming more aware of what you feeling and experiencing can help you change your level of reactivity over time. If there are certain triggers that can make you go from 0-60 in a heartbeat, understanding the triggers will help you reduce negative reactions. Childhood experiences, trauma, painful events and the like can still be unconsciously present and cause painful reactions. Reflecting on those experiences and the “hook” will help you approach present relationships and situations in a more mindful way. Also, life is a series of challenges and there are so many things we cannot control. If, over time, you understand this there will be less resistance and more acceptance of difficult situations and a more calm approach.

Be loving – there are many words that describe being more loving in a relationship. Respectful, supportive, kind, affectionate, forgiving, gentle, compassionate, Also, prioritizing family and relationship over work or other things. It can mean a simple smile and loving attention. Listening is also one of the greatest gifts you can give to another person. Not listening to fix their problems, but rather listening to show you are there and you care.

Be fearless – This takes work to become less fearful. For example, if you are used tp abiding conflict and putting up a wall, it will take eventually trying to approach rather than avoid. Fear of being hurt, emotional discomfort, worrying can all make it challenging to risk becoming more vulnerable. Fear of what will happen might hold you back, but changing some negative reactions and patterns will mean having the courage to face the pain, emotional discomfort and find ways to be less fearful of what will happen. A confidence comes when you can step by step work on you own fear of what will happen if you are vulnerable, kind, respectful and don’t avoid emotionally uncomfortable feelings.

It takes patience to work on booming more generous, calm, loving and fearless over time, but it will eventually bring you more peace and closer to loved ones .

If you want help with developing all of these important mindful qualities, please contact us.

Dealing With An Emotional Affair

Relationships

Having An Emotional Affair ?

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Dealing With An Emotional Affair

The Emotional Affair

An emotional affair can be devastating for a couple. The same feelings can get triggered as an actual sexual affair. For the same reasons.

When you are the one having emotional affair – Emotional affairs can cause a lot of damage to your relationship. Maybe you think it’s not so bad since you were just having conversations with other women or men. What’s the big deal if it’s not a physical or sexual affair. However, lying and hiding things, being dishonest and sharing intimate thoughts and feelings with someone else is betrayal. Infidelity usually starts with flirting and can always lead to more involvement. Especially when both people are on the same page. You’re definitely playing with fire.

Letting go of the attention is hard sometimes – It may be hard to stop the affair since you are enjoying the attention and the way it makes you feel. It might be especially hard thing to give up if you’ve been feeling distant or having other issues affecting your marriage. This also goes for couples that are not married.

The Emotional Affair

When your partner had or is having an emotional affair – Maybe you felt there’s something wrong for a long time. You noticed different behavior. Maybe it was with a coworker or an online affair. Something was off. You may even have confronted your partner about your suspicions only to have him or her deny anything is going on. But your gut continued to tell you something was mot right.

So what should you do?

If possible, sitting down with an experienced therapist can help you sort through these issues. Sometimes one person will not cooperate and go to counseling, but don’t let that stop you from getting help if you need it. Even by yourself.

If you just found out about the emotional affair by finding something like an inappropriate text or if your partner finally confessed, it’s time to think about the next step. Of course it’s completely devastating to find this out and/or finally have it validated. And in a way it also feels good that you weren’t crazy after all if you suspected.

Step-by-step healing.

First of all, the emotional affair must stop immediately if you are going to start working on building trust back again. For the person having the affair, this might be challenging if you will feel pain giving up something that made you feel good. If you don’t want to lose your marriage or relationship over it, it’s important to think about how much more pain you’ll be in if you don’t stop.

Why did I do it? This is a question many people ask when they have done something like an emotional affair and even infidelity that involves a sexual component. Many trustworthy, good people end up in this place. It’s something that they would never ever have thought they would do and always judge other people. Now you know it can happen to good people and good relationships.

Important to understand why this happened and what you can do to heal your relationship. Sometimes the person who had the emotional affair can benefit from his or her own individual counseling to understand what happened and/or to get help letting go.

If you need help with an emotional affair as a couple or individual, please get in touch with us.

Relationship Tips for Couples

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

Relationship Tips: Practical Guidance for Couples

Simple & Easy Ways to Connect

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Relationship Tips: Practical Guidance for Couples

Support and Advice for Relationships

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Relationship Tips: Practical Guidance for Couples

All couples experience periods of closeness and moments of challenge. Every shared journey has its unique twists, and facing difficulties together creates lasting understanding and respect. If you’ve noticed tension, frequent misunderstandings, or a sense of drifting apart, it’s important to remember: you’re not alone, and wanting to grow together is a sign of care.

At Maplewood Counseling, we know that every relationship needs mindful attention. Our aim is to help you nurture your connection, improve how you relate, and turn obstacles into opportunities for growth.

Simple Ways to Build Closeness Every Day

Fostering a strong relationship isn’t just about grand gestures. It’s the small, thoughtful actions—done regularly—that keep your bond strong.

Check-In with Care: Ask questions that show you truly want to support your partner, such as “What brought you joy today?” or “Is there something you’d like to talk about?” Thoughtful check-ins go beyond surface-level conversations.
Show Gratitude Often: Thank your partner for everyday acts, like preparing a meal or offering a listening ear. Even a brief “I appreciate you” can help your partner feel valued.
Carve Out Special Moments: Busy schedules make it easy to lose connection. Designate time for just the two of you, whether it’s a weekly walk, quiet morning coffee, or setting aside devices for a heartfelt conversation.

Communicate to Understand and Connect

Have you ever felt like your partner isn’t really hearing you? It’s common, but effective communication helps bridge these gaps and brings you closer together.

Express Yourself Clearly: Replace accusatory statements with honest feelings. Instead of “You never listen,” say “I feel overlooked when…” Sharing your experience can foster empathy, not defensiveness.
Listen with Presence: Give your partner your undivided attention—silence your phone, listen fully, and reflect what you’ve heard: “It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed.” This makes your partner feel seen and respected.
Pause When Needed: Sometimes emotions run high. If that happens, agree to step back and revisit the talk when both of you are calmer. Taking space can protect both your feelings and your relationship.

Navigating Disagreements with Compassion

Every relationship has conflict. It’s not about eliminating disagreements, but about handling them in a healthy, respectful way that leaves both people feeling understood.

Center on Solutions: Discuss issues without criticizing each other. Stay focused on resolving the concern at hand, and try not to revisit old grievances. Approach problems as a team.
Meet Each Other Halfway: Finding a path forward usually means both partners compromise. Ask, “Is there a way we can both feel comfortable with this?” Working together ensures no one feels left behind.
Rebuild and Reassure: After a tough conversation, reconnect with a kind gesture—an apology, comforting words, or simply acknowledging their perspective. These moments help heal and reaffirm your commitment.

Support Is Always Available

At times, you might feel stuck or uncertain about how to move forward. Reaching out for help is a courageous step, and it can be the turning point towards a more fulfilling relationship.

Our Maplewood Counseling team offers a welcoming, private environment where couples from all walks of life can explore difficulties and strengthen their bond. Whether you’re working through trust issues, major transitions, or simply want to rekindle your closeness, our skilled therapists offer guidance tailored to your situation.

You don’t have to manage challenges on your own. We’re here to support you in creating the partnership you envision.

When you feel ready, reach out to Maplewood Counseling. Schedule a confidential appointment and begin the journey to a deeper, more connected relationship.

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Comprehensive Guide to Couples Counseling

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LGBTQ+ Affirming & Gay Relationship Counseling in NJ

Gay Issues, Relationships

LGBTQ Relationship Counseling in NJ at Maplewood Counseling

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Understanding and Supporting LGBTQ+ Relationships: Your Unique Journey

Real-Life Scenarios and Solutions

LGBTQ+ couples often face challenges that aren’t just about their relationship—like dealing with pressure from society, finding acceptance from family, or blending families with children. These situations can feel lonely or overwhelming, but you do not have to go through them by yourself. We’re here to help you face these obstacles together, supporting you every step of the way.

Here are a few real-life examples:

Societal Pressures:
- Two partners felt unsure about coming out at work, worried about how it might affect them. In counseling, they talked about these fears, found ways to lean on people who support them, and worked together on building confidence to stay true to themselves while also protecting their relationship.
Family Acceptance:
- A married lesbian couple felt hurt by unkind or subtle comments from one partner’s family. In therapy, they practiced setting boundaries and expressing what they needed in a caring but firm way. This helped them feel stronger together and more able to face family challenges as a united team.
Blended Families:
- When a gay couple with children from previous relationships faced challenges over different parenting styles, therapy supported them in coming together, talking openly about their hopes for the family, and finding shared ways to care for their children. With time, their home felt more understanding and peaceful for everyone.

Every relationship needs love, trust, and honest communication to grow strong. But LGBTQ+ couples can also face challenges that are unique to them. You deserve support from someone who truly understands what you’re going through and respects your experiences. This is a safe place to talk about what makes your relationship special—and sometimes more complex. We’re here with warmth, experience, and a genuine desire to help you feel seen, heard, and supported every step of the way.

Embracing Your Relationship Structure

Your relationship is yours to define. It doesn’t matter if you are in a monogamous partnership, exploring an open relationship, or part of a polyamorous family—your chosen structure is respected and valued here. We’re here to help you create honest, caring conversations, set healthy boundaries, and support each person’s voice. Together, we’ll work with you and your partner(s) to:

Establish clear agreements and expectations.
Navigate feelings of jealousy or insecurity.
Foster open dialogue to ensure all partners feel heard and valued.

Co-Parenting with Pride and Purpose

For same-sex couples, creating a family is often a journey filled with hope, effort, and pride. At the same time, there can be special challenges—like dealing with legal questions, or handling comments and curiosity from schools or other parents. We’re here to help you work together as a parenting team. We can talk about:

Defining parenting roles and responsibilities.
Creating a unified front when dealing with external biases.
Discussing how to talk with your children about your family’s unique story.

When the Outside World Comes In

Facing discrimination—whether it’s obvious or more hidden—can be really tough on your relationship. Maybe work doesn’t feel safe to be yourself, or family members make you feel unwelcome. Feeling like you have to always watch what you say or do can affect your well-being and how you connect with your partner. In counseling, you’ll find a safe space to talk openly about these outside pressures. We’ll help you and your partner support each other, strengthen your teamwork, and find ways to protect your relationship even when the world feels challenging.

Understanding Intersectionality: Your Whole Identity Matters

You are more than just who you love or how you identify. Your background, culture, faith, and life experiences all come together to shape you and your relationship. For example, a Black gay man may face different challenges than a white lesbian woman, and a trans person with a strong faith has their own unique journey.

We understand that all parts of your identity matter—not just your relationship status or how you identify, but your race, culture, beliefs, and background too. Our counseling welcomes every part of who you are. Here, you can talk openly about how your experiences shape your relationship, knowing you will be respected, understood, and accepted for all of who you are.

If you’re looking for support that honors every aspect of your life and love, we invite you to reach out today. Schedule a consultation and let’s move forward together, with care and understanding.

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Frequently Asked Questions

What should we expect in our first session?
Your first session is a chance for us to get to know each other. It’s a space where you and your partner can share your story, discuss the challenges you’re facing, and talk about your goals for your relationship. We’ll listen without judgment and explain our therapeutic approach. The main goal is to ensure you both feel comfortable, heard, and hopeful about the path forward.

How do you ensure a safe and affirming environment?
Creating a safe, non-judgmental, and affirming space is the cornerstone of our practice. Our therapists are trained in LGBTQ+ affirming care and are committed to understanding the unique experiences of our clients. We respect your identities, your relationship, and your privacy. From the language we use to the issues we explore, every aspect of our counseling is designed to make you feel respected and secure.

Do you have experience with LGBTQ+ issues?
Yes. Our therapists are very experienced with the diverse issues that can impact LGBTQ+ individuals and couples. This includes navigating societal or family pressures, coming out, building chosen families, and addressing the impact of discrimination. We understand that while many relationship challenges are universal, others are specific to the LGBTQ+ experience, and we are equipped to support you through them.

Can we discuss open relationships or non-traditional dynamics?
Absolutely. We provide a confidential and open-minded space to discuss all relationship structures, including open relationships, polyamory, and other forms of consensual non-monogamy. Our role is to help you and your partner(s) navigate these dynamics with clear communication, established boundaries, and mutual respect, not to judge them.

What if one partner is hesitant about therapy? It’s very common for one partner to feel uncertain or hesitant about starting therapy. We recognize this and work to create a low-pressure environment where both individuals feel equally heard and valued. Our initial sessions often focus on making sure both partners feel comfortable and addressing any concerns they may have about the counseling process itself. We believe therapy is most effective when it is a collaborative effort, and we invite you to take that first step together.

LGBTQ+ Friendly Resources & Local Community Support

Finding support beyond the counseling office can be an important part of your journey. Here are some LGBTQ+ friendly resources and local organizations that create inclusive, affirming spaces for individuals and couples:

Local Support Groups:

North Jersey Pride: Offers peer-led LGBTQ+ support groups and family events.
SOMA Action LGBTQ Committee: Community activism, advocacy, and social connections.
Garden State Equality: The largest LGBTQ+ advocacy organization in New Jersey; provides community programs and support.

Legal Services for Same-Sex Couples:

LGBT Law Project @ Legal Services of NJ: Support with family law, adoption, name changes, and more.
Lambda Legal: National legal advocacy for LGBTQ+ rights, including NJ offices and resources.

Family Planning Resources:

Family Equality: Education and support for LGBTQ+ family-building and parenting.
The Center for Family Building: Fertility and adoption resources for LGBTQ+ couples.

Local Events & Organizations:

Maplewood & South Orange Pride Festival: Annual celebration featuring resources, performances, and community-building events.
SOMA Two Towns for All Ages: Inclusive programs supporting LGBTQ+ residents and allies of all generations.
LGBTQ Community Center at the South Orange Public Library: Workshops, book clubs, and meetups.

Let us know if you’d like more information about a specific resource or how to get involved locally. There is a vibrant, supportive network in the Maplewood and South Orange SOMA area ready to welcome you and your family.

Are you ready to take the next step for your relationship? Reach out to schedule a consultation or contact us if you have questions. We’re here to support you and your partner every step of the way.

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If you have additional questions or want to take the next step, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Your well-being matters to us, and we are here for you every step of the way.

Feeling Sad and Depressed?

Depression, Relationships

Feelings Sad and Depressed?

Depression Treatment NJ

Individuals, Families, Couples

Feeling Sad and Depressed?

Feeling sadness and deep emotional pain and in need of therapy?

Understanding what you’re feeling and why is important. If the feeling persist, a mental health professional or doctor can assess your circumstances and recommend certain types of treatment.

Sad about difficult circumstances

-When things in your life are not going the way you expected, it can cause sadness. Maybe it’s your relationship causing unhappiness and stress. You’re not getting what you need and feel alone, Unsatisfied couples often feel sad, angry and/or lonely. Feeling stuck and trapped in these circumstances can lead to depression.

For others, parenting challenges can cause deep sadness, frustration and disappointment. If your son or daughter does not seem to be doing well emotionally or has behavioral challenges, it can be rough on the entire family. In addition, if your child is ill and has medical concerns, it can be incredibly hard to cope with your own concerns and emotional pain.

Challenges with your work and career can also be cause some people to feel sad. Maybe you hate your job or are dealing with a boss that is unreasonable and hard on you. Possibly your work day is very long and stressful due to ongoing pressure you put on yourself or is coming from your employer.

Moving and relocating can cause a lot of sadness. Getting connected in a new local community can be difficult for a lot of people and can take time. If you’re an introvert, it can be even more challenging. Stressful moves can cause arguing and disconnect if you are not working together to deal with the changes.

A new baby, newborn and coping changes in your family is very difficult on most young couples. Feeling exhausted, not sleeping, dealing with a colicky baby and not getting enough rest or help? End up feeling a lot of tension and fighting more than usual? Postpartum or mere exhaustion makes many young mothers miserable. Maybe you’re not a young mother and coping with huge transition as a woman giving birth in her late 30s or 40s.

Some of you may have had trouble or continue to have difficulty getting pregnant and are undergoing fertility treatments, such as in-vitro or other types of procedures.

Coping with divorce or break-up causes tremendous feeling of grief, loss and sadness for most people. It can be one of the most painful emotional experiences when your relationship ends.

An adult child that is going through hard times and you feel powerless to help. Maybe a son or daughter is going through divorce, financial trouble, or other challenges.

Any of these situations may cause you to feel sad overwhelmed and hopeless. Reaching out top a licensed therapist can help with an evaluation and help you start making important changes.

In a Polyamorous Relationship?

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

In a Polyamorous Relationship?

Polyamory & Open Relationships

Couples Therapy NJ

In a Polyamorous Relationship?

In a Polyamorous or Open Relationship?

Close to 20% of all people have had a non-monogamous relationships, according to an April 2016 article in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. This includes an open marriage, open relationship, and polyamory, in which all partners agree that each may have romantic and/or sexual relationships with other partners. Many couples follow rules and agreements to cut down on potential problems and challenges.

Polyamory, which is a common type or non-monogamous relationship, means having more than one sexual or romantic partner, with all partners agreeing to certain rules for the arrangement. Unlike an open relationship where couples may date others and agree to only love each other, a polyamorous couple may agree to have sex outside the relationship and are open to loving multiple partners.

Struggling with a Non-monogamous Relationship? Does this sound familiar?

Your partner broke a rule and you feel upset or betrayed
You or your partner is struggling with jealousy and it causes arguments
You or you’re partner or others don’t have good boundaries
Quantity vs quality time issues
Comparing or being compared to other partners
You are ready for a change because you feel unhappy, but your partner is not
You have concerns about privacy and being outed
Your children are getting older and it’s harder to keep secrets

If you are struggling in an open or polyamorous relationship and need help navigating some issues, get in touch.