Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples

Reviewed by Debra Feinberg LCSW at Maplewood Counseling

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples

Have you and your partner found yourselves stuck in the same arguments? Does it seem impossible to break free from a painful cycle? Many couples feel distant or disconnected. Sometimes, it’s as if you’re speaking different languages. You may long to feel safe, seen, and understood by your loved one. But, too often, the path back to closeness is hard to find. This can feel lonely. Yet, you are not alone. There is hope, and support is available.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) has been widely recognized as a structured and effective approach for couples. This method is used at Maplewood Counseling to gently help partners understand and change the patterns that keep them apart. Emotional signals are decoded. Connections are rebuilt. Secure, lasting bonds can be formed. The work goes deeper than surface conflicts. Instead, core needs and fears are addressed.

How Does Emotionally Focused Therapy Work?

EFT was developed by Dr. Sue Johnson. It is known as a short-term, evidence-based approach. More than 70% of couples are helped, studies have found. The process involves collaboration between clients and therapist. Clear structure is provided.

EFT typically unfolds over three main stages—usually in 8–12 sessions:

1. De-escalation: First, the conflict cycle is mapped out together. This often involves the “pursue-withdraw” pattern—one partner pushing for contact, while the other pulls away. Instead of finding fault, attention is given to understanding this cycle as the shared challenge. Fighting can then be stopped.
2. Reconnection: After the conflict settles, deeper work begins. Vulnerable feelings beneath the surface are gently explored. This is guided by the therapist. Needs for connection and security are shared in new ways. Bonds can grow stronger through these moments.
3. Consolidation: As sessions continue, new patterns of communication are reinforced. Couples practice positive ways of problem-solving. By the end, many clients feel confident about keeping their connection strong long after therapy ends.

What Issues Can EFT Address?

EFT has been found helpful for a range of challenging issues, including:

• Emotional Disconnection: Lost intimacy can be rediscovered. Couples are supported as they rebuild closeness.
• The Pursue-Withdraw Cycle: Many find themselves stuck chasing or retreating. This cycle is interrupted so partners can reconnect.
• Healing from Infidelity: Betrayal can shatter trust. Through a safe process, trust is rebuilt over time.
• Constant Arguing and Conflict: Endless arguments often signal deeper needs. With EFT, these needs are addressed and communication improves.
• Life Transitions: Big changes like parenthood or blended families can cause strain. Support is offered to help navigate these times together.

What to Expect in Your EFT Sessions

At Maplewood Counseling, sessions are private and judgment-free. Both partners are given space to be heard. The therapist will guide and slow down conversations. Emotions that drive reactions are explored together.

• In-Session Interventions: Partners are gently helped to turn toward each other. Sometimes, a discussion is paused to ask, “What’s happening inside you right now?” This reveals feelings and helps them be expressed.
• Collaborative Exploration: No one is blamed. The focus is on understanding the relationship “dance” and trying new steps together.
• Homework and Practice: Simple exercises may be suggested between sessions. These could involve new emotional check-ins or noticing old patterns at home.

Why Choose Maplewood Counseling for EFT?

Choosing the right therapist is important. At Maplewood Counseling, your experience will be shaped by compassion and professional skill. All therapists here are trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy. Many couples have moved from distress to hope with this support.

A warm, safe environment is provided. Vulnerability is welcomed. Treatment is tailored to your unique story. Every effort is made to help you build the secure, loving partnership you deserve.

Need to Schedule a Session? Our experienced therapists are ready to meet with you—individually or as a couple—to help you navigate relationship challenges, improve understanding, and build a loving bridge between your worlds.

Frequently Asked Questions About Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

What is EFT?

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is an evidence-based approach designed to help couples identify and change negative interaction patterns, deepen understanding, and strengthen emotional bonds. EFT helps partners feel more secure and connected, fostering lasting relationship satisfaction.

How long does EFT take?

While every couple’s journey is unique, many experience positive changes within 8–20 sessions. The pace can vary depending on your specific situation, goals, and the complexity of the issues you’re working through. Your therapist will collaborate with you to create a plan that meets your needs.

Is EFT effective for all couples?

EFT has been shown to be highly effective for many couples, including those facing communication breakdowns, emotional distance, or the impact of betrayal or trauma. While EFT benefits most couples, your therapist will discuss whether this approach is the best fit for you during your initial sessions.

What should we expect in our first session?

Your first session is a safe, welcoming space where your therapist will get to know you both, learn about your relationship history, and listen to your concerns. Together, you’ll begin to identify the patterns contributing to distress and set compassionate goals for healing.

Ready to Reconnect?

If you are ready to stop the cycle of conflict and rediscover the love that brought you together, we are here to help. You can transform your relationship, and the first step is reaching out.

Contact Maplewood Counseling today to schedule a consultation and learn more about how Emotionally Focused Therapy can empower your partnership.

At Maplewood Counseling, we are dedicated to supporting individuals, couples, and families in achieving mental wellness. Based in Maplewood, NJ, we proudly serve the Essex County, NJ community and offer statewide telehealth services to ensure accessible care for all. Whether you’re seeking help for anxiety, depression, relationship challenges, or personal growth, our experienced team is here to guide you every step of the way.

📍 Location: 169 Maplewood Ave Suite 4 Maplewood NJ 07040
📞 Phone: 973-902-8700
🌐 Website: Maplewood Counseling

We Use HIPAA Compliant Telehealth Platform SimplePractice for our Telehealth Sessions

Helpful Resources

• Couples Therapy: Strengthen your relationship with expert guidance.
• Rebuilding Trust After Infidelity: A guide to healing and restoring trust.
• Managing Relationship Anxiety: Tools to navigate anxiety in relationships.
• Discernment Counseling: Explore whether to stay or separate in a safe space.
• Inclusive Couples Counseling: Support for couples navigating cultural or identity differences.

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