Types of Couples Counseling for Communication Problems

Reviewed By Debra Feinberg, LCSW

At Maplewood Counseling, we provide inclusive care for people of all races, cultures, and backgrounds, including interfaith, interracial, BIPOC, LGBTQIA+, and blended families. Our therapists bring lived experiences and specialized training to create a safe, affirming space for all.

If you and your partner keep having the same arguments or feel misunderstood, please know you’re not alone. Many couples experience communication challenges at some point. Reaching out for help is a meaningful step that shows how much you care about your relationship.

The encouraging news is there are several proven counseling methods designed to help couples move past communication barriers and reconnect. Counseling gives you both a supportive space to talk about your struggles and learn practical skills to communicate better together.

Let’s look at the main types of couples counseling that can help you strengthen your connection and understand each other more deeply.

What Are the Main Ways Couples Counseling Can Help?

Each counseling approach is unique, offering different strengths and techniques. The key is to find what works best for you as a couple.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

EFT is based on the idea that communication struggles often come from deeper emotional needs. When you and your partner feel distant, it’s easy to get caught in the same negative cycles—one person might pull away while the other tries harder to reconnect.

EFT therapists help you both recognize these patterns without blame. You will learn to see your partner’s and your own feelings more clearly, which can make tough conversations feel safer and more caring.

How it helps: EFT guides you through three steps: calming down tough patterns, sharing your true feelings, and building new, healthier ways to talk and listen. The goal is for both people to feel more secure and connected.
A gentle reminder: Communication issues are not personal failings. They are natural, especially when someone feels unheard or alone. When you understand each other’s deeper needs, kinder and more open conversation follows.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Couples

CBT looks at how your thoughts and habits affect your relationship. For example, do you sometimes assume your partner “never listens” or “always forgets things”? These patterns can make it harder to understand each other.

CBT therapists help you spot and challenge these ideas, offering tools that make communicating simpler and more direct.

How it helps: You’ll learn step-by-step skills for sharing what you need, listening kindly, and responding instead of reacting during conflict. The therapy involves both in-session practice and activities to try at home.
Who it helps: If you like practical, goal-based work, CBT may fit well. Couples often receive specific exercises and ways to track their progress, helping them build confidence along the way.

The Gottman Method

The Gottman Method is grounded in decades of research. It identifies four main habits that can hurt communication—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

Therapists will show you how to change these patterns and create stronger everyday habits.

How it helps: This method teaches “soft start-ups” for hard talks, ways to repair after an argument, and how to build a “love map” of your partner’s feelings and experiences.
Who it helps: People who want clear, science-backed steps often like this method. The techniques are easy to practice, and many couples appreciate knowing their progress is linked to real data.

Solution-Focused Therapy

Sometimes it’s easy to focus only on what’s wrong and lose sight of what already works between you and your partner. Solution-Focused Therapy flips that around, helping you remember your strengths and positive moments.

How it helps: The therapist will ask questions about when you communicate especially well or how you’ve resolved problems before. You’ll look for small, doable steps to increase those good moments.
Who it helps: If you want short-term help that spotlights solutions and strengths, this method is a great choice. It can feel very encouraging and hopeful.

How Do These Approaches Improve Communication?

It’s important to know how each method works, because everyone’s experience is different.

EFT helps you explore the feelings that drive your words and actions, leading to more empathy and trust.
CBT provides tools to spot negative thought patterns and teaches new habits for clearer conversation.
Gottman Method focuses on research-based steps to build better daily habits and manage disagreements in a healthy way.
Solution-Focused Therapy encourages you to notice and build on what is already going well, boosting your confidence in communicating.

How Do You Choose the Best Approach?

Choosing counseling can feel overwhelming at first. Your decision will depend on your unique relationship and personal comfort with each style.

Ask yourself and your partner a few important questions:

Do emotional patterns or unspoken feelings seem to drive conflict? If so, EFT may feel supportive.
Do you both prefer practical tips and goals? CBT could be the right fit.
Are you curious about which communication habits help or hurt your relationship? The Gottman Method offers clear answers.
Are you looking for brief therapy to build on existing strengths? Solution-Focused Therapy can be very empowering.

Remember, it’s okay to try what feels best for you. Every relationship is different, and there’s no one “right” way to fix communication struggles.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

Communication challenges do not define you or your partnership. With the right support and commitment, you both can learn new skills, connect more deeply, and manage disagreements in a healthier way.

Seeking counseling is a courageous and caring act. At Maplewood Counseling, our therapists are trained in multiple approaches like EFT and CBT, so we can help you find what’s right for your journey.

If you’re ready for a change—or just want to talk about your options—we’re here for you, every step of the way. Starting with a conversation is the first step toward a stronger, more understanding relationship. Reach out to explore how our experience and support can help you and your partner thrive, together.

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At Maplewood Counseling, we are dedicated to supporting individuals, couples, and families in achieving mental wellness. Based in Maplewood, NJ, we proudly serve the Essex County, NJ community and offer statewide telehealth services to ensure accessible care for all. Whether you’re seeking help for anxiety, depression, relationship challenges, or personal growth, our experienced team is here to guide you every step of the way.

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