Maplewood Counseling
College Student Therapy: Improve Mental Health with Counseling

College Student Therapy: Improve Mental Health with Counseling

Anxiety, Depression, Gay Issues, Relationships

College Student Therapy: Navigating Mental Health with Counseling

 

College Student Therapy: Navigating Mental Health with Counseling

For many young adults, college is painted as the “best four years of your life.” It’s a time of newfound independence, intellectual discovery, and social expansion. But what happens when the reality doesn’t match the brochure?

If you are feeling overwhelmed, lonely, or anxious, you are far from alone. The transition to university life is one of the most significant psychological shifts a person can undergo. Between academic pressure, financial stress, and the challenge of defining who you are away from your family, it’s normal to feel like the ground is shifting beneath your feet.

At Maplewood Counseling, we understand that this exciting chapter often comes with hidden struggles. Whether you are a first-year student trying to find your place, a senior facing the anxiety of “what comes next,” or a parent concerned about your child’s well-being, knowing when and how to seek support is the first step toward a healthier, more balanced college experience.

The Reality of the College Experience

Why does it feel so hard sometimes? The modern college experience is intense. You aren’t just learning a subject; you are learning how to be an adult in a high-pressure environment.

Students today face a unique set of stressors:

  • Academic Perfectionism: The pressure to maintain a high GPA for graduate school or future employment can be paralyzing.
  • Identity and Belonging: Navigating new social circles, questioning your identity, or coming out as LGBTQIA+ can be both liberating and isolating.
  • Financial Anxiety: the burden of tuition and student loans weighs heavily on many students, impacting their sense of security.
  • The “Highlight Reel” Effect: Social media often makes it look like everyone else is having more fun and achieving more success, leading to deep feelings of inadequacy (FOMO).

It is crucial to recognize that struggling with these issues isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a sign that you are human navigating a complex environment.

How Therapy Can Transform Your College Years

Many students view therapy as a last resort, something to turn to only when things fall apart. But what if you viewed it as a tool for success, just like a tutor or a study group?

Therapy offers a confidential, judgment-free zone where you can pause and breathe. It provides:

  1. A Safe Space to Unpack: Unlike venting to a friend, therapy allows you to explore your feelings without worrying about burdening someone else or being judged.
  2. Tools for Stress Management: Learn practical, evidence-based techniques to manage test anxiety, balance your schedule, and quiet the racing thoughts before sleep.
  3. Relationship Skills: Whether it’s setting boundaries with roommates, navigating dating, or managing changing dynamics with parents, therapy helps you build healthier connections.
  4. Identity Support: For BIPOC students, LGBTQIA+ individuals, and those from diverse cultural backgrounds, therapy can be a vital space to process experiences of discrimination or cultural adjustment in a predominantly white institution.

Signs It Might Be Time to Reach Out

How do you know if what you’re feeling is “normal” stress or something that needs professional attention? Listen to your body and mind.

Are you noticing any of these changes?

  • Academic Decline: Are you skipping classes or finding it impossible to focus on assignments?
  • Social Withdrawal: Are you avoiding friends, events, or phone calls from home?
  • Sleep Disruption: Are you sleeping all day or unable to sleep at night?
  • Mood Swings: Do you feel irritable, unexpectedly tearful, or numb?
  • Substance Use: Are you using alcohol or drugs to cope with stress or social anxiety?

If you answered “yes” to any of these, talking to a therapist can help you get back on track before these challenges impact your long-term goals.

Breaking Barriers: Making Therapy Accessible

We know that finding a therapist can feel daunting, especially when you are already overwhelmed. You might be worried about the cost, the time commitment, or what your parents might think.

On-Campus Resources: Most universities offer Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS). These are often free or low-cost and are a great starting point for short-term support.

Off-Campus Support: sometimes, you need more than what campus centers can provide—perhaps you need long-term care, specialized support for trauma or eating disorders, or simply more privacy. Private practices like Maplewood Counseling offer continuity of care that can last throughout your entire college journey, providing a stable anchor even when semesters change.

Telehealth Flexibility: We understand that student schedules are chaotic. Virtual therapy allows you to connect with a licensed professional from the privacy of your dorm room or apartment, eliminating travel time and making mental health care fit into your life.

A Note for Parents: Supporting Your Student from Afar

Sending a child off to college is a transition for you, too. You want them to be independent, but you also want them to be safe. If you notice your child sounds different on the phone, seems withdrawn, or is struggling with grades, it’s okay to gently intervene.

Approach the conversation with curiosity, not accusation. Instead of “Why are your grades slipping?”, try “You sound really stressed lately. I’ve been reading about how helpful therapy can be for college students—would you be open to exploring that support?” By normalizing mental health care, you give them permission to prioritize their well-being.

 

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Frequently Asked Questions

-Will my parents know if I go to therapy?
If you are over 18, your therapy is confidential. By law, therapists cannot share what you discuss—or even confirm that you are a client—with your parents without your written consent. We prioritize your privacy so you can speak freely.

-I don’t have a “major” problem. Is therapy still for me?
Absolutely. You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from therapy. Many students use therapy to navigate “minor” stressors, improve their communication skills, or simply have a weekly check-in to stay grounded. Think of it as preventative maintenance for your mind.
I don’t have a “major” problem. Is therapy still for me?**
Absolutely. You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from therapy. Many students use therapy to navigate “minor” stressors, improve their communication skills, or simply have a weekly check-in to stay grounded. Think of it as preventative maintenance for your mind.

-What if I don’t click with my therapist?
This is a common fear, but finding the right “fit” is important. It is perfectly okay to meet with a therapist and decide they aren’t the right match. A good therapist will respect your needs and can even help refer you to someone who might be a better fit for your personality and goals.

-How do I balance therapy with classes and a job?
This is where virtual therapy shines. Many students find that squeezing in a 45-minute video session between classes or in the early evening is manageable. We work with you to find a time that respects your academic responsibilities.

-Do you support students from diverse backgrounds?
Yes. We are committed to providing inclusive, culturally competent care. We understand that students of color, LGBTQIA+ students, and first-generation college students face unique systemic challenges. Our therapists create an affirming space where all parts of your identity are welcomed and respected.

Your Future Starts with a Healthy Mind

College is about building your future, but you can’t build a sturdy house on a shaky foundation. prioritizing your mental health now sets the stage for a resilient, successful adulthood. You don’t have to navigate these years alone.

Whether you need tools to manage anxiety, a space to explore your identity, or support through a difficult semester, we are here to walk this path with you.

Ready to find your balance?

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Helpful Resources

 

Overcoming Loneliness & Isolation | Maplewood Counseling

Overcoming Loneliness & Isolation | Maplewood Counseling

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Overcoming Loneliness: How to Reconnect When You Feel Isolated

 

Overcoming Loneliness & Isolation | Maplewood Counseling

Do you ever feel a profound sense of being alone, even when surrounded by people? Maybe a quiet distance has settled over your life, leaving you feeling disconnected from others and even from yourself. This experience of isolation isn’t just about being physically alone; it’s a deep emotional state that can affect anyone, regardless of their circumstances. If you feel like you’re on the outside looking in, please know you are not the only one, and these feelings don’t have to be your reality forever.

Loneliness can stem from many sources—a major life change, social anxiety, or the subtle drift of changing friendships. Acknowledging this ache is the first, most courageous step toward finding your way back to connection. This guide will explore the roots of isolation and provide practical, gentle strategies to help you break free, build meaningful relationships, and rediscover a sense of belonging.

Why Do I Feel So Alone? Understanding Isolation

Feeling isolated is a deeply personal and often painful experience. It’s the feeling that no one truly understands you, or that you lack a meaningful connection with others. This emotional state can arise from various situations, and recognizing its source is a key step toward healing.

Do any of these scenarios resonate with you?

  • Major Life Transitions: Moving to a new city, starting a new job, the end of a relationship, or becoming an empty-nester can disrupt your social network and leave you feeling adrift.
  • Social Anxiety: A fear of judgment or awkwardness in social situations can lead you to avoid interaction, which only deepens feelings of loneliness over time.
  • Chronic Illness or Grief: Dealing with a long-term health issue or the loss of a loved one can be an incredibly isolating experience, making it feel like no one can truly understand what you’re going through.
  • Remote Work or Lifestyle Changes: While offering flexibility, working from home or shifts in daily routines can reduce the casual, everyday interactions that help us feel connected.
  • Feeling Different: You may feel that your beliefs, identity, or life experiences set you apart from those around you, creating a barrier to genuine connection.

These feelings are valid, and they are more common than you might think. Isolation doesn’t mean you are broken or unlovable; it’s a signal that your fundamental human need for connection is not being met. Recognizing this signal is an act of self-compassion that opens the door to change.

Practical Steps to Bridge the Distance

Breaking the cycle of loneliness can feel daunting, but it doesn’t require a complete personality overhaul. It starts with small, intentional actions that create space for connection to grow. By taking gentle steps, you can begin to build a bridge from isolation back to community.

1. Start with Self-Compassion

Before you can connect with others, it’s important to reconnect with yourself. Loneliness often comes with a harsh inner critic that tells you you’re not good enough. It’s time to quiet that voice with kindness.

  • Acknowledge Your Feelings: Instead of pushing your loneliness away, allow yourself to feel it without judgment. Say to yourself, “It’s okay that I feel lonely right now. This is a hard feeling.”
  • Challenge Negative Thoughts: When you think, “No one wants to be my friend,” gently challenge it. Is that 100% true? Or is it possible that you just haven’t met the right people yet?
  • Engage in Nurturing Activities: Spend time doing things you genuinely enjoy, whether it’s reading a book, going for a walk in nature, or listening to music. Treating yourself with care reinforces your self-worth.

2. Re-engage with the World at Your Own Pace

You don’t have to jump into a crowded party to combat loneliness. The goal is to create small opportunities for positive social interaction.

  • Seek “Low-Stakes” Interactions: Start with brief, casual encounters. Make small talk with the barista at a coffee shop, smile at someone you pass on the street, or compliment a stranger. These small moments can help rebuild your social confidence.
  • Explore Your Interests: Join a group or class centered around a hobby you enjoy, like a book club, a hiking group, a language class, or a volunteer organization. This allows you to connect with people who already share one of your passions, providing a natural starting point for conversation.
  • Leverage Technology Mindfully: Social media can sometimes increase feelings of isolation, but it can also be a tool for connection. Look for online communities or groups related to your interests or identity. Engage in positive discussions and remember to take these connections offline when you feel ready.

3. Nurture Your Existing Connections

Sometimes, loneliness persists even when we have people in our lives. This is a sign that the quality of our connections needs attention.

  • Be the One to Reach Out: It’s easy to wait for others to make the first move, but taking the initiative can be empowering. Send a text to a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while, or suggest a specific activity, like grabbing coffee or going for a walk.
  • Practice Vulnerability: True connection is built on authenticity. Try sharing something real about yourself with a trusted friend or family member. Opening up about your struggles, even a little, invites others to do the same and deepens your bond.
  • Focus on Listening: When you’re with someone, practice being fully present. Ask them questions about their life and listen with genuine curiosity. Making others feel heard and seen is a powerful way to strengthen any relationship.

How Therapy Can Help You Find Your Way Back

If loneliness feels overwhelming and these steps seem impossible to take on your own, therapy can provide a safe and supportive space to explore your feelings. A professional counselor can help you:

  • Uncover the root causes of your isolation.
  • Develop effective strategies to manage social anxiety.
  • Build self-esteem and challenge negative self-talk.
  • Practice new social skills in a non-judgmental environment.
  • Heal from past experiences that may be contributing to your loneliness.

Reaching out for help is a profound act of strength. It’s a declaration that you deserve to feel connected, seen, and valued.

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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What is the difference between being alone and being lonely?
Being alone is a physical state—you are simply not in the presence of others. It can be a positive and restorative experience. Loneliness, however, is a distressing emotional state defined by a lack of desired connection. You can feel lonely in a crowd, just as you can feel content while being alone.

I have friends and family, so why do I still feel so lonely?
This is a very common experience. Loneliness is not about the number of people you know, but the quality of your connections. You might feel lonely if your relationships lack depth, emotional intimacy, or a sense of being truly understood. Therapy can help you explore how to nurture more fulfilling connections.

How can I make friends as an adult? It feels so much harder now.
Making friends as an adult can be challenging due to busy schedules and established routines. The key is to create opportunities for consistent interaction. Joining groups or clubs based on your hobbies is one of the most effective ways, as it puts you in regular contact with people who share your interests. Be patient with the process—friendship takes time to develop.

Is it possible that therapy can help me feel less isolated?
Absolutely. The therapeutic relationship itself can be a powerful antidote to loneliness. It provides a consistent, reliable connection where you are seen, heard, and accepted unconditionally. Your therapist can also equip you with personalized tools to build your confidence and form meaningful relationships outside of your sessions.

You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone

Feeling isolated can be one of the most difficult challenges to face, but it is not a life sentence. With self-compassion, small steps, and the right support, you can rediscover the joy of connection and build a life rich with belonging.

If you are ready to take the first step away from loneliness and toward a more connected life, we are here to walk that path with you. Contact Maplewood Counseling today to schedule a consultation and find a safe space to heal and grow.

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Helpful Resources

 

How to Stop Negative Thinking: 5 Actionable Strategies

How to Stop Negative Thinking: 5 Actionable Strategies

Relationships

How to Stop Negative Thinking: A Guide to Reclaiming Your Mind

How to Stop Negative Thinking: 5 Actionable Strategies

By Debra Feinberg, LCSW, Robert Jenkins, LCSW (Reviewed by Senior Level Therapists)

Does your mind ever feel like a runaway train, speeding down a track of worst-case scenarios? One small worry hooks onto another, and soon you are caught in a relentless cycle of “what ifs” and self-criticism. This pattern, known as negative thinking, can be exhausting. It can steal your joy, drain your energy, and make even small challenges feel like insurmountable mountains.

If you find yourself trapped in this loop, please know you are not alone, and it is not a character flaw. It is a common human experience, especially for those who struggle with anxiety. The constant hum of negative thoughts can feel isolating, but it is a pattern that can be understood and changed.

Learning how to stop negative thinking is not about ignoring life’s difficulties or forcing a fake sense of happiness. It is about learning to challenge the thoughts that hold you captive, shifting your perspective, and creating a more supportive inner world. This process can transform your mental well-being, strengthen your relationships, and empower you to live a more peaceful, fulfilling life.

Why Negative Thinking Has Such a Powerful Grip

Our brains are naturally wired with a “negativity bias.” From an evolutionary standpoint, this was a survival mechanism. Our ancestors needed to be hyper-aware of potential threats to stay safe. While we no longer face the same physical dangers, that ancient wiring remains. It makes our minds more like Velcro for bad experiences and Teflon for good ones.

When you add anxiety to the mix, this bias goes into overdrive. Anxious thoughts often feel like facts, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy where you anticipate the worst, and your brain searches for evidence to confirm it. Breaking this cycle starts with understanding its profound impact on every area of your life.

The Transformative Power of Shifting Your Mindset

Challenging negative thought patterns is one of the most powerful things you can do for your overall health. It is not just about “thinking positive”; it is about creating real, tangible change.

1. It Calms Your Anxious Mind

Negative thinking is the fuel for anxiety. It magnifies fears and creates a constant state of high alert. When you learn to question and reframe these thoughts, you take the fuel away from the fire. By practicing techniques to challenge your negative assumptions, you can significantly reduce the intensity and frequency of anxious feelings, creating a more peaceful mental state.

2. It Improves Your Physical Health

The mind and body are deeply connected. Chronic negativity creates stress, which floods your body with hormones like cortisol. Over time, this can lead to high blood pressure, a weakened immune system, and digestive issues. Reducing negative thinking lowers your stress levels, which can have a direct, positive impact on your physical health, helping you feel more energized and resilient.

3. It Enhances Your Problem-Solving Skills

When you are stuck in a negative loop, your thinking becomes rigid and narrow. Every problem feels like a catastrophe with no way out. Shifting your mindset opens you up to new possibilities. You begin to see challenges as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles. This mental flexibility enhances your creativity and allows you to find effective, resourceful solutions.

4. It Strengthens Your Relationships

Negative thinking can be a silent barrier in your relationships. It can cause you to misinterpret your partner’s intentions, assume the worst during disagreements, or withdraw emotionally. When you cultivate a more balanced perspective, you approach interactions with more empathy and openness. This fosters better communication, builds trust, and allows for a deeper, more authentic connection.

5. It Boosts Your Self-Esteem

Negative thoughts are often directed inward, chipping away at your self-worth. You might tell yourself, “I’m not good enough,” or “I always mess things up.” Learning to stop negative thinking involves replacing that harsh inner critic with a more compassionate inner voice. When you start focusing on your strengths and celebrating small wins, you build a foundation of self-acceptance and confidence.

Actionable Strategies to Challenge Negative Thinking

Knowing you “should” stop negative thinking is one thing; actually doing it is another. Here are some practical, evidence-based strategies you can start using today.

  • Catch and Challenge the Thought: The first step is awareness. When you notice a negative thought, simply acknowledge it without judgment. Then, question it like a detective. Ask yourself: Is this thought 100% true? What is a more balanced or compassionate way to look at this situation?
  • Practice Gratitude: Gratitude is a powerful antidote to negativity. Each day, make a point to write down or think about three specific things you are thankful for. This simple exercise trains your brain to scan for the positive, shifting your focus away from what is wrong and toward what is right.
  • Use the “Three C’s” Method: This Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) technique is simple but effective.
    1. Catch the negative thought.
    2. Check it. Is it a fact or an opinion?
    3. Change it to a more realistic or helpful thought. For example, change “I’m going to fail this presentation” to “I’ve prepared for this presentation, and I will do my best.”
  • Create a “Worry Window”: Instead of letting worries consume your entire day, schedule a specific 15-minute “worry window.” If a negative thought comes up outside of that time, jot it down and tell yourself you will deal with it during your scheduled time. This helps contain the anxiety and prevents it from taking over.
  • Ground Yourself in the Present: Negative thinking often involves ruminating about the past or catastrophizing about the future. Bring yourself back to the present moment using the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique. Name five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.

When to Seek Professional Support

While these strategies can be very effective, sometimes negative thinking is so persistent and deeply ingrained that it is hard to break free on your own. If you find that negative thoughts are severely impacting your daily life, relationships, or ability to function, seeking professional help is a sign of strength.

Therapy, particularly CBT, can provide you with a structured, supportive environment to explore the roots of your negative thinking. A therapist can give you personalized tools and guidance to dismantle these patterns and build lasting mental resilience.

You do not have to live under the shadow of negative thinking. By taking small, consistent steps, you can reclaim your mind and cultivate a life filled with more peace, connection, and joy.

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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Is it possible to completely stop all negative thoughts?
The goal is not to eliminate all negative thoughts—that is impossible and unrealistic. Our brains are designed to have them. The goal is to change your relationship with them. It is about learning not to let them control you and developing the skill to shift your focus to more balanced and constructive thoughts.

My partner tells me to “just be positive,” but it’s not that easy. What can I do?
This is a very common frustration. True change is not about suppressing your feelings. You can explain to your partner that you are working on learning new skills to manage your thought patterns, and what you need most is their patience and support, not just advice to be positive.

How long does it take to see a real change?
Changing long-standing thought patterns takes time and consistent practice. It is like building a muscle. You might notice small shifts within a few weeks, but creating lasting change is a gradual process. Be patient and compassionate with yourself.

Can negative thinking be a symptom of a bigger issue?
Yes, persistent and overwhelming negative thinking can be a core symptom of conditions like anxiety disorders, depression, or PTSD. If your thoughts feel unmanageable, it is important to consult with a mental health professional for a proper assessment.

Will I have to be in therapy forever to manage this?
Not at all. For many people, therapy is a short-term process focused on learning specific skills. The goal is to equip you with the tools you need to become your own therapist, so you can confidently manage your thoughts long after your sessions have ended.

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Helpful Resources

What’s in Your Shadow Side and Why It’s Important

What’s in Your Shadow Side and Why It’s Important

Anxiety, Depression, Gay Issues, Grief, Relationships

Do You Know What's in Your Shadow Side?

Understanding Can Help You Make Important Changes
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Do You Know What’s in Your Shadow Side?

There’s a side of you that you may not be aware of – your shadow self or shadow side. This is the part of yourself that you hide from others, and sometimes even from yourself. It’s made up of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that you perceive as negative or unacceptable.

What Creates the Shadow Side?

The shadow side is created by societal norms and personal experiences that have shaped our beliefs about what is good or bad, right or wrong. From a young age, we are taught to suppress certain parts of ourselves in order to fit into social expectations. For example, boys are told to be strong and not show vulnerability, while girls are expected to be nurturing and not assertive. These messages often create internal conflict within us, leading us to reject certain aspects of ourselves.

Here are some examples of what might be in your shadow side :

  • Shame
  • Guilt
  • Anger
  • Fear
  • Selfishness
  • Greed
  • Cowardess
  • Desire and Lust

What is the Shadow Side About?

Your shadow side can stem from past experiences, upbringing, societal influences, or personal insecurities. It’s a complex mix of unconscious patterns and beliefs that can impact how you think, feel, and behave in different situations.

The concept of the “shadow” was first introduced by Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung. He believed that everyone has a shadow side and that it’s important to acknowledge and integrate this part of ourselves in order to achieve wholeness and balance.

So why is it important to understand and embrace your shadow side? Here are a few reasons:

  • Understanding Your Triggers: Your shadow side often contains suppressed emotions that can be triggered in certain situations. By acknowledging and understanding these triggers, you can better manage your reactions and behaviors in those moments.
  • Self-Awareness: Embracing your shadow side allows you to become more self-aware and gain a deeper understanding of yourself. This can lead to personal growth and development as you work through any underlying issues or insecurities.
  • Empathy for Others: When we recognize our own flaws and imperfections, we become more empathetic towards others who may be struggling with their own shadow side. This can improve our relationships and overall compassion for others.
  • Authenticity: Embracing your shadow side means accepting all parts of yourself, even the ones you may not be proud of. This can lead to a greater sense of authenticity and self-acceptance, allowing you to fully show up as your true self in the world.

So how can you begin to explore and embrace your shadow side?

  1. Self-reflection: Take some time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that you may consider negative or unacceptable. Where do they stem from? Have they been triggered by past experiences or insecurities?
  2. Seek Therapy: A therapist can help guide you through the process of exploring your shadow side and understanding its origins. They can also provide tools and strategies for managing any negative patterns or behaviors.
  3. Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this journey of self-discovery. It’s important to practice self-compassion and forgiveness as you work towards embracing all parts of yourself.
  4. Embrace Imperfection: Remember, nobody is perfect. Embracing your shadow side means accepting that imperfections are a part of being human. Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them, rather than suppressing or denying certain aspects of yourself.

In conclusion, understanding and embracing your shadow side can lead to personal growth, improved relationships, and a greater sense of authenticity. It’s an ongoing process, but by acknowledging and integrating all parts of ourselves, we can achieve a deeper level of self-awareness and acceptance. So take the time to explore your shadow side and see what insights it may bring about yourself. Keep in mind that it’s not about erasing or getting rid of this side, but rather learning how to live with it in a healthy and positive way. Remember, balance is key in achieving overall well-being.

If you need help becoming aware if your shadow side to make positive changes, reach out.

Get in touch now with Maplewood Counseling

4 Ways Keeping Painful Stories Locked Inside Can Hurt You

#EmbraceYourShadow #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth #Authenticity

 

What’s in Your Shadow Side and Why It’s Important

4 Ways Keeping Painful Stories Locked Inside Can Hurt You

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

Keeping Painful Stories Locked Inside Can Hurt You

Telling Your Story in a Safe Place Helps the Healing Begin
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4 Ways Keeping Painful Stories Locked Inside Can Hurt You

 

There are many reasons why we may choose to keep painful stories locked inside. It could be out of fear, shame, or a desire to protect ourselves and others. However, as much as we may think that keeping these stories hidden will spare us from further pain, the truth is that it can actually do more harm than good in the long run.

In this article, we will explore some of the ways in which keeping painful stories locked inside can hurt us and why it’s important to find healthy ways to process and share our experiences.

1. Creates emotional baggage

When we hold onto painful stories without properly addressing them, they can become heavy emotional baggage that we carry with us everywhere. This baggage can manifest in many ways, such as recurring negative thoughts, difficulty trusting others, and even physical symptoms like headaches or stomach pains.

It’s important to remember that the weight of these stories will only continue to grow until we find a way to release them. Talking to a trusted friend or therapist, journaling, or participating in support groups are just some of the ways we can start unpacking this emotional baggage.

2. Limits personal growth

By keeping painful stories locked inside, we are limiting our potential for personal growth. These experiences may have shaped us in some way, but if we don’t confront and process them, they can hold us back from reaching our full potential.

Sharing our stories with others can be a powerful way to not only heal but also learn and grow from our experiences. Through vulnerability and openness, we can gain new perspectives, insights, and understanding that can help us move forward in a positive direction.

3. Impacts relationships

Keeping painful stories locked inside can also have a negative impact on our relationships. When we are unable to open up and share our experiences with those close to us, it can create distance and barriers between us.

Our loved ones may sense that something is troubling us but without knowing the full story, they may struggle to understand or offer support. This lack of communication can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and even potential strain on the relationship.

4. Stunts healing process

The healing process for any painful experience involves acknowledging, processing, and eventually letting go. By keeping these stories locked inside, we are preventing ourselves from fully going through this process.

It’s natural to want to avoid pain, but in order to heal and move forward, we must face it head on. This means allowing ourselves to feel and express our emotions and seeking support when needed.

Conclusion

While it may seem easier in the moment to keep painful stories locked inside, the long-term effects can be detrimental to our well-being. It’s important to find healthy ways to address and share our experiences so that we can heal and continue growing as individuals.

Remember that you don’t have to go through this alone. Reach out to trusted friends, family, or professionals for support and guidance in processing your painful stories. You deserve to live a life free from the weight of these burdens. So, take the necessary steps towards healing and know that it is never too late to start.

Let’s break free from the chains of our past experiences and embrace a brighter future filled with personal growth, strong relationships, and inner peace. Share your story, release your emotional baggage, and allow yourself to heal. Your journey towards healing starts now.

If you need help understanding how to be there for someone who is struggling, reach out.

Get in touch now with Maplewood Counseling

Going Through a Challenge in Your Life Right Now?

 

4 Ways to Make Space for Your Feelings and Why It’s Important

4 Ways to Make Space for Your Feelings and Why It’s Important

Relationships

4 Ways to Make Space for Your Feelings (And Why It Changes Everything)

 

4 Ways to Make Space for Your Feelings & Why It Matters

Do you ever feel like you are holding a beach ball underwater? You push it down with all your might, trying to keep it submerged, but the moment your grip slips, it pops up with aggressive force.

This is exactly what happens when we try to suppress our emotions. We tell ourselves, “I don’t have time for this,” or “I shouldn’t feel this way.” We distract ourselves with work, scrolling, or busy schedules. But the truth is, what you resist will persist.

At Maplewood Counseling, we see this often. Clients come in feeling exhausted not just by life, but by the sheer effort of keeping their feelings at bay. Whether you are dealing with anxiety, relationship stress, or just the weight of daily life, learning to “make space” for your feelings isn’t just a self-care buzzword—it is a vital skill for your mental and physical health.

Why Emotional Space Matters

Emotional space is simply the mental and physical room we give ourselves to process what we are experiencing without judgment.

When we deny our feelings, they don’t disappear; they go underground. They show up as irritability with your partner, chronic tension in your shoulders, difficulty sleeping, or sudden outbursts of anger over small things. By creating a safe environment for your emotions, you allow them to move through you rather than get stuck within you.

This practice builds resilience. It allows you to respond to life rather than react to it. And importantly, it makes you a better partner, parent, and friend, because you aren’t projecting your unprocessed emotions onto the people you love.

4 Practical Strategies to Make Room for Your Feelings

You don’t need to spend hours in meditation to make progress. Here are four actionable ways to start creating emotional space today.

1. Name It to Tame It

It sounds simple, but labeling an emotion is a powerful way to reduce its intensity. When you feel a surge of unease, pause and ask yourself: “What is this?”

Is it anger? Is it sadness? Is it disappointment?

Often, we bundle everything under “stress.” But stress is vague. “I feel lonely” or “I feel unappreciated” is specific. By naming the emotion, you move from being overwhelmed by the feeling to observing it. This small shift engages the logical part of your brain and creates immediate distance.

2. The “Brain Dump” Journaling Method

If your mind feels like a browser with 50 tabs open, you need to clear the cache. Journaling creates a physical container for your thoughts so you don’t have to carry them all in your head.

Set a timer for five minutes and write without stopping. Don’t worry about grammar, spelling, or making sense. If you are angry, write in all caps. If you are sad, let the words be messy. The goal isn’t to write a memoir; it is to get the internal noise out onto the paper. Once it is out, you might find the feelings are less frightening than you thought.

3. Move the Energy Through Your Body

Emotions are physiological—they live in the body. Anxiety might feel like a tight chest; grief might feel like a heavy stomach. sometimes, you can’t “think” your way out of a feeling; you have to move it out.

  • If you are angry: Try a high-intensity workout, punch a pillow, or scream into a towel.
  • If you are anxious: Shake your hands and legs vigorously to release adrenaline, or go for a brisk walk.
  • If you are sad: Try slow stretching or wrapping yourself in a weighted blanket.

Listening to what your body needs is a profound act of self-respect.

4. Set Boundaries Around Your Emotional Bandwidth

Sometimes, making space for your feelings means clearing out the clutter of other people’s demands. If you are constantly depleted, you have no capacity to process your own experiences.

Boundaries might look like:

  • Saying “no” to a social event when you need rest.
  • Asking your partner for 20 minutes of quiet time when you get home from work.
  • Taking a break from the news or social media if it is triggering anxiety.

Protecting your peace isn’t selfish; it’s necessary maintenance for your well-being.

The Ripple Effect on Your Relationships

It is impossible to be fully present with a partner when you are disconnected from yourself. When you stifle your own emotions, you often become numb to the emotions of others, or conversely, you might rely on your partner to regulate your emotions for you.

By taking responsibility for your emotional landscape, you bring a healthier, more grounded version of yourself to your relationship. You become better at communicating your needs (“I feel overwhelmed and need a hug”) rather than acting them out (slamming doors or giving the silent treatment).

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Frequently Asked Questions About Emotional Wellness

Q: I’m afraid that if I start crying, I won’t be able to stop. Is this normal?
A: This is a very common fear, especially if you have been holding things in for a long time. It can feel like opening a floodgate. But emotions are like waves; they have a beginning, a middle, and an end. They will pass. Creating a safe space—perhaps in a therapy session—can help you learn to ride that wave without drowning.

Q: How do I make space for feelings when I have a busy job and kids?
A: Emotional awareness doesn’t have to take hours. It can happen in “micro-moments.” Take 30 seconds in the car before you walk into the house to breathe and check in with yourself. Take two minutes in the shower to acknowledge how you feel. It’s about consistency, not duration.

Q: What if I don’t know what I’m feeling?
A: That is okay. Many of us weren’t taught how to identify our emotions growing up. Start with the physical sensation. Do you feel hot? Tight? Heavy? Jittery? describing the physical sensation is a great first step toward emotional literacy.

Q: Can therapy help if I’m just “numb”?
A: Absolutely. Numbness is often a defense mechanism—a way to protect yourself from overwhelming pain. A therapist can help you gently lower those defenses at a pace that feels safe, helping you reconnect with your feelings without being overwhelmed by them.

You Don’t Have to Carry It All Alone

Making space for your feelings can be intimidating, especially if you are used to pushing them away. But you don’t have to navigate this internal landscape alone. Whether you are dealing with past trauma, current relationship stress, or just a general sense of unease, we are here to walk with you.

Your feelings are valid. Your experience matters. And there is space for all of you here

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