Honesty in Your Marriage and Relationship

Relationship Honesty

Helping Couples Build Trust

Maplewood Counseling

Relationships and Honesty

Do you struggle with honesty in your relationship? Are there things you don’t share with you spouse or partner? Are you afraid to tell things with your spouse or partner something?

Being dishonest does not necessarily mean your are deliberately lying – in the case of someone directly asking if something is wrong or sensing something is wrong and directly asking. But lying to avoid getting caught in something potentially very damaging to your relationship – an affair, is a different type of dishonesty. Men and women are dishonest for different reasons sometimes.

Is this you?

You’re having an affair and are feeling stuck in a very bad situation
You’re texting other women or men and flirting and it’s hard to stop
You don’t tell your spouse or partner important things because you don’t want to hurt him or her
You don’t say how you really feel about sex and end up going through the motions and feeling unhappy
You don’t feel you can share what you want or need because you’re spouse won’t understand or care
You’re afraid your husband or wife will get angry if you say how you really feel about something

Lack of honesty will eventually lead to bigger problems, A couples can get very disconnected over time if they don’t share how unhappy they are about certain things and just accept it will never change. To deal with the disconnect, sometime one partner will find some relief in the attention from someone else. Disconnection and unhappiness at home can make many people very vulnerable to the smallest amount of attention from the outside.

It is important to be honest more now to reduce bigger problems down the road. If you need help to prevent bigger problems or if have already crossed over into infidelity or other bigger problems, get in touch.

Unhappy Marriage or Relationship?

Mindful Relationships | Mindfulness Deepens Connections

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

Mindful Relationships NJ

How Mindfulness Can Help

Mindfulness and Mindful Relationships

Mindfulness Strengthens Marriages & Relationships

Mindful relationships are more connected, loving and compassionate. Mindfulness is the state of being open and aware of something in the present moment. It is a therapeutic technique which helps people observe and accept their feelings and thoughts without judging them as good or bad. Developing mindfulness as a way of life helps individuals and couples communicate in more positive and peaceful ways. Mindful relationships enjoy more love, intimacy and connection in their relationships.

Mindful relationships help couples communicate with more compassion & understanding.

There is scientific evidence that back up how the brain actually is changed by developing a more mindful approach to life. I won’t get into all of that here, but will give a general idea of how this can help you and your relationship.

Mindfulness reduces negative emotional reactivity and helps people regulate their emotions.

The more a person practices mindfulness, the more they pay attention to their own thoughts and feelings, they start to understand their triggers and hooks. We all know how others can trigger painful feelings based on past experiences. Reflecting on triggers (our own thoughts and feelings – in a gentle way) will eventually help you understand the true source of your trigger, which are unconscious seeds based on conditioning. When you spend time looking inward and reflecting instead of lashing out in anger at the person who triggers your old pain, you can become more aware of the true source and work through it. You don’t have to keep reliving it. Reliving it in your present relationship will cause damage, disconnect and the unhappiness for both people. Ultimately, you can reduce your negative, angry, controlling reactions and feel more calm, accepting and peaceful. This will help you can become more present, understanding and compassionate.

Mindfulness helps people become better listeners, attentive, compassionate, and loving

Mindful people relate in very different ways. They do not try and change their partners – they do not criticize, judge or avoid dealing with issues. They are more accepting, kind and compassionate. Want a more connected, meaningful relationship? See how mindfulness can help you and your relationship.

Need Couples Counseling in New Jersey?

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

Need Couples Counseling?

Feeling Unhappy?

Need Couples Counseling in New Jersey?

Looking for couples counseling in New Jersey? Stuck in a bad place and ready for some help? Not in love anymore? Are you feeling unhappy in your relationship and wondering if there’s anything you can do to reconnect to make things better? Wondering if you should split up our divorce?

So many couples end up in this place and wonder what to do. Some get “stuck” in like this for an extended time and end up being very vulnerable to infidelity due to the disconnect. Others just are very depressed and unhappy.

Does this sound familiar?

You’ve arguing a lot about the smallest things
You can’t seem to do anything right
You feel like your partner or spouse doesn’t listen or understand you
You’ve given up trying to get what you need
You’ve tried to initiate sex and intimacy for so long and can’t deal with the rejection so you’ve stopped trying
You feel like your spouse or partner is not interested in you and just interested in sex
You’re not even sure if the relationship is worth saving
You’re staying together only for the sake of the children

If you are at a point in your marriage or relationship where you’re trying to make some important decisions – do we work on trying to make the relationship better or do I just divorce or break up?

Couples counseling in New Jersey with an experienced marriage or couples therapist can help you figure this out. Your counselor can also help you navigate the steps you need to take to improve things if it’s possible, or respectfully and gently work on ending the marriage or relationship.

If you are at a point you are ready to figure this out, get in touch. We’re here to help.

Improving Communication Skills

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

Improving Communication Skills

Couples Therapy NJ

Maplewood Counseling

Need Help Improving Communication Skills?

Need help improving communication skills in your relationship? Have you given up on trying to do it yourself? Do you want to change things for the better in your marriage or relationship? Do you realize you have to stop trying to change the other person and change yourself?

What happens when you get triggered? Does this sounds familiar?

you or your spouse put up a wall and withdraws in silence to protect yourself since you don’t feel safe
one (or both of you) get critical and devaluing trying to get your spouse or partner to listen
you get defensive instead of listening and trying to understand
there seems to be eye rolling ( contempt) or you mock your partner

When you get upset – and we all get upset in our relationships in one way or another – it is importunity to understand the “hook” and what to do about it rather than blaming the other person. This will help in improving communication skills and make a huge difference in your relationship – if you can both get better at this.

Accepting you cannot change another person ( as much as we all think we can and are compelled to keep on trying ) – is extremely important. It is necessary in order to make things better in any relationship. Look at what you need to work on instead of blaming someone else for “triggering” sadness, anger, anything unpleasant is not going to get you anywhere and could damage your relationship, sometimes beyond repair.

Are you ready to work on improving your communication skills? If you’re in Essex County NJ and need a couples therapist to help you, get in touch.

Unhappy Marriage or Relationship?

Is Our Marriage Over?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Is Our Marriage Over?

Marriage & Discernment Counseling

Is Our Marriage Over?

Can we work things out?

Are you afraid of losing your marriage? Is your relationship at risk and you’re wondering what you need to do and change to make things better? Is your spouse or partner even willing to work with you on these things? Are you scared your spouse or partner has all but given up – or is he or she saying they don’t want to work on things anymore? Not sure what to do?

Many men and women end up in this place and wonder what to do. It’s very painful and scary to think about losing something so important and for some people they’re just realizing how important the relationship is now that your facing this reality of how bad things really are.

Is Our Marriage Over or Not?

Find marriage counseling, couples therapy and discernment counseling in NJ

Two possible outcomes and some couples need help finding answers.

1) Your spouse or partner is pretty sure they want to split, but willing to work on the relationship. You both know many things must happen and change for it to work.
2) You or you spouse or partner does not want to work on things and you’ll need help discussing the best ways to get through these changes in the short and long run.

When couples are in this place counseling is usually referred to as discernment counseling – trying to figure out if you are even willing to commit to relationship or marriage counseling to work out painful and long standing issues. Some couples will decide to work on things and some will not. Either way, we can help you.

If you are looking for an experienced marriage or couples counselor to help, get in touch.

Need Counseling After a Divorce?

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

Need Counseling After Divorce ?

NJ Therapy After a Break Up

Telehealth Online Therapy

Counseling After Divorce

Need Counseling after Divorce, Separation or a Break-Up?
Going through a divorce or break up can be extremely painful. Deep sadness, grief, loneliness, missing your ex and/or children – any number of things can make separation, divorce or a break up extremely painful.

You do not have to go it alone – and no you are not alone. Many people out there is really struggle after the end of relationship. It is not an easy thing to get through.

Counseling after divorce with the right therapist can be of great help as you process many difficult experiences and emotions. Learning how to cope with the feelings in healthy ways as opposed to trying to cope with the pain. Also, attempting to date sooner then you’re ready can cause even more pain.

We can understand wanting to run from painful feelings and emotions, but it can help tremendously to process things in a way that’s going to really help you in the future. By way of make better choices in a partner and to be a better partner is going to be very valuable for a more successful relationship in the future.

Professional and Compassionate Counseling after Divorce

If you help from skilled and compassionate counselors after a divorce or break up, get in touch.

We are here to help you make positive changes during a very painful time in your life.