Maplewood Counseling
Offering Online & In-person Sessions
169 Maplewood Ave Suite 4
Maplewood, NJ 07040
Call Now (973) 793-1000
Need a Couples Therapist? | Are You a Couple in Need of Help?
An experienced couples therapist can help many couples struggling with communication, infidelity, intimacy and other issues. Have your been unhappy for long time trying to fix things on your own. Many couples are not sure how to get more connected and resolve relationship problems.
Does this sound familiar?
You’re not sure if you want to stay in your marriage or relationship
You’ve been so unhappy for so long and you’ve built up a wall
You are both unable to connect in ways that feel good anymore
You never have sex and are not sure what to do about it at this point
You definitely feel alone and sad
You do not feel like you are a priority (or way down the list)
You are feeling like the marriage or relationship does not matter
Are you looking for NJ couples therapist to help you and partner? Are you and your wife or husband unhappy in your relationship and not sure if you want to stay? Wondering if any professional help can turn things around?
Please feel free to contact us and let us know how we can help.
Are you a couple dealing with marital infidelity? Are you feeling desperate to get help after an affair? Do you realize you made a huge mistake and don’t know what to do?
Many people involved in an affair feel trapped in lies, covering up for selfish reasons and for fear losing their relationship. Even though it is initially painful and devastating once an affair comes out, most couples can work through these issues if both are open and willing to the healing process. It does take time.
After Marital infidelity
It’s never an excuse, but most affairs are usually a symptom of a problem in a relationship – a lack of connection or not communicating what you need and feel. This is not an excuse, but feeling disappointed, neglected, angry or alone can make up a couple very vulnerable in this way. Sometimes it is other issues and many times we hear “I don’t know why I did it” and for many people, this is true.
Honesty is certainly the best policy when it comes to many things in life and marital infidelity is no exception. Most people fear coming clean and will lie and hide things even when their spouse or partner senses something is wrong. Some people actually will say “you’re crazy” or “you’re paranoid” or “you are ridiculous”, when questioned and accused. Lying can do a number on both people – and the betrayal is very damaging to the relationship.
So it is harmful for you to lie and harmful to your relationship to not be honest and tell your spouse about the marital infidelity. It’s understandable because you certainly don’t want to risk losing the marriage or relationship over it, but the damage done by the lying makes things much more painful and harder to work through when the truth is revealed.
Finally, admitting the affair – how did your partner find out?
Sometimes people feel so guilty and want to be honest they tell their partner about the affair. Other times, the affair is discovered by seeing something on your cell phone bill, credit card charges or just tracking device or even private investigators. Even worse, the person you are or had an affair with has threatened to email or call your wife or husband and tell them – and followed through on that threat.
When you find out from the person who your spouse or partner has been having an affair with, You literally feel shocked, numb, devastated, in a rage – any number of things. As a result, your marriage or relationship is truly in crisis for a period of time and you’re not sure what to do. Also, relationship and marital infidelity causes such extreme pain when it is discovered. Maybe your wife or husband might even demand you take a polygraph or lie-detector test since they have lost all trust in anything you say and cannot trust even themselves.
Most couples turn to a trained and experienced therapist the help them get through the shock, anger, sadness, need for space – a range of intense emotions. They need help with the next steps.
If you need counseling for relationship and marital infidelity, feel free to get in touch.
Maplewood Counseling
Offering Online & In-person Sessions
169 Maplewood Ave Suite 4
Maplewood, NJ 07040
Call Now (973) 793-1000
Local Short Hills Counseling NJ
Many couples and individuals search for a local therapist to help them when they are going through some changes, transitions or difficult times in their family or relationship. Maybe some have tried to do all they can to figure out issues on their own and reach out for more help when things become to painful and frustrating.
Is this you? You…
need a marriage counselor to help you with family, parenting or relationship issues
are going through a divorce or break up and need help dealing with grief, anxiety or depression
want a therapist to help with infidelity, an emotional affair or online cheating
really want your wife, husband or partner to go to therapy with you and they refuse
fear losing your marriage or relationship and have been very disconnected
need help with communication problems or resolving conflict in your relationship
Local areas near Maplewood we serve include Short Hills, Millburn, Springfield, Summit, Union, Livingston, West Orange, South Orange, Near and much more. We offer session in-person or for convenience, video telehealth therapy ( aiso called online therapy) for adults, adolescents, couples and families.
Maplewood Counseling helps local couples, families and individuals going through a difficult time. Also, couples may want help with disconnect in their relationship or transitions in the marriage. So, if you need experienced and licensed therapist can help with family and relationship issues, Feel get in touch. We are here to help.
Maplewood Counseling
Offering Online & In-person Sessions
169 Maplewood Ave Suite 4
Maplewood, NJ 07040
Call Now (973) 793-1000
Couples Therapist in New Jersey
Need a Couple Therapist to Help You?
Feeling disconnected? A good marriage or couples therapist can help you figure out what to do if you stuck a painful situation. Whether you’re partnered for a short time or married over 20 years, an experienced therapist can help you if you are both open to it.
How can a good therapist help? By help you do learn to do a better job of listening, understanding and responding (rather than reacting) to your partner. When you realize you can’t do things on your own and have to change your approach, seeking help from the right couples therapist is important. If you’re open to it, counselling can help you learn to listen and understand in ways that you haven’t been able to achieve on your own.
Professional Marriage and Relationship Counseling
Does this sound familiar? You are
feeling alone and scared of losing your marriage or a relationship?
terrified your wife or husband because your spouse has emotionally checked out and is now asking for a divorce.
stuck in a bad place in your marriage or relationship.
feeling disconnected.
coping with online cheating, infidelity or an emotional affair.
upset because you asked your spouse or partner for counseling and he/she ignored your requests.
the one who has ignored your spouse or partner’s pleas for help from the couples therapist because you thought things were fine and now you realize ( and are feeling really scared) because they are not.
feeling like there’s only a sliver of hope left your marriage or relationship will survive.
When to Get Help
If you have come to accept that you cannot change certain things on your own, an experienced couples therapist can help. Are you willing to get help and to see what can be done before calling it quits? If you are in a bad place in your relationship, counseling can help you figure what to do.
The distance and disconnect a couple experiences – feeling alone and hopeless, is very painful. Can you reconnect and get to a better place?
If it is possible to reconnect, you can learn what will really help you bring down walls, listen, understand and give your partner what they really need (not assuming what you think they need). This applies with serious issues like infidelity and difficult arguments and communication problems. It does depend on each person and their willingness and ability to work through and heal that painful disconnect.
If you are in need of counseling, a good marriage or couples therapist can help you sort through and figure out your next step. If you’re looking for a couples therapist in New Jersey, get in touch.
Maplewood Counseling
Offering Online & In-person Sessions
169 Maplewood Ave Suite 4
Maplewood, NJ 07040
Call Now (973) 793-1000
Find Couples Counseling Before Calling it Quits
Find Couples Counseling to Help Your Relationship
Listen to Your Spouse or Partner When They Say We Need Counseling
As a couples therapist, I hear from so many couples that come in that one person, wife, husband or partner, has been asking to go to counseling for sometimes years. That person was feeling pain, sadness, alone, anger and could not seem to get what he or she needed without help. The difficult part from the perspective oe f couples or marriage counselor is when they finally decide to come it, it is usually when the other partner feels fear or pain. Afraid of losing their marriage or relationship.
Is this you?
you contact a marital therapist because you’re feeling scared your spouse is ready to leave
you have tried over and over to say we need couples counseling and your spouse ignored your requests
when your wife or husband asked for counseling, you thought it wasn’t necessary and now you know it is
your partner is feeling hopeless and saying they want a divorce or to break-up
you or your spouse has actually left physically (separated, moved out) or checked out emotionally
you wish you had listened and found a therapist long ago and did not wait
you are angry at your partner for not taking you seriously and now THEY want to go to couples therapy
So many couples come in and one person says they have been asking to go to counseling for a long time. That same person might have been neglected and feeling they will never get through to their spouse or partner what they need. They just don’t care or will never understand (without help). Some people just give up.
If you’re at that point, see what the next step is with couples or marriage counseling. Get in touch and let us know how we can help.
Couples that are disconnected or in crisis often consider splitting up usually ask this question: Can we work it out?
All couples have to deal with issues. Some much more difficult and painful than others. Couples that do not have skills to repair “ruptures” will struggle and over time the result is a disconnect. That lack of connection can cause tremendous damage, loss of hope, feeling alone and make couples feel very unhappy. They sometimes decide to go their separate ways.
Couples that are open (both people) and committed to trying to understand one another and reflect on their own triggers have a much better shot at making it work. This takes a deeper awareness and level of presence and consciousness, which is not easy to achieve if defense mechanisms kick in, which happens for most people.
Effective Relationship Therapy
There are many things that can hep couples repair their conflicts in more effective ways. Level of conscious – understanding you own part it the conflict and where your partner or spouse is coming from is critical. Consciousness will take reflecting on your past, understanding how earlier relationships (neglect, abuse, feeling like you don’t matter) can be the downfall of any relationship. Once painful experiences and feelings from the past get triggered (and there is no awareness of this connection only the pain) by your spouse or parnter, anger – sometimes aggression causes a reaction. As if to say “how dare you trigger my pain”.
What happened when that pain gets triggered is any number of things.
Angry reactions – yelling, screaming, name calling
The silent treatment (favorite weapon of some which is emotionally abusive and not a good way of dealing with anger)
Confusion: The couple that does not understand these issues – cause and effect, will struggle with sadness and confusion.
Infidelity and a loss of Intimacy:
Feeling alone, unhappy and disconnected
When you don’t have the communication skills to resolve important issues, your relationship will suffer. You’ll feel disconnected, like you don’t matter, are not appreciated – you or your partner can become vulnerable to splitting up, separation and divorce.
Want to know if there is anything you can do to get better and communicating with one another? Are you both committed to working on the relationship or trying to decide if you should go your separate ways, as painful as that is? Marriage and relationship therapy can help you figure out the next step.
