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Investing in Your Relationship: Therapy Value in New Jersey

Investing in Your Relationship: Therapy Value in New Jersey

Investing in Your Relationship: The True Value of Specialized Therapy 

 

Investing in Your Relationship: Therapy Value

By Debra Feinberg, LCSW, Robert Jenkins, LCSW (Reviewed by Senior Level Therapists)

Are you and your partner feeling overwhelmed by misunderstandings or growing distance? It’s normal to feel uncertain about where to turn, especially with so many therapy choices available today. If you’re exploring the differences between in-network and more personalized out-of-network care, know that others are asking the same questions, too.

We often hear from individuals and couples who wonder why Maplewood Counseling operates outside of traditional insurance networks. This resource is here for you—to help you better understand the unique advantages of investing in specialized therapy and show how accessible this support can be.

Below, you’ll find clear explanations about why we choose an out-of-network model, what it can offer you and your partner, and how to make the most of out-of-network benefits.

Why We Choose an Out-of-Network Approach

All relationships deserve care that adapts to your needs—never a rigid, one-size-fits-all model. Insurance companies may set limits around session length, number, or eligibility, and often require a mental health diagnosis to begin. These barriers can slow progress, especially for those seeking genuine change together.

By working out-of-network, we remove these obstacles. Our focus stays entirely on your partnership—no diagnostic labels, no session caps. This creates a safe, affirming space where your unique relationship is truly understood and respected.

The Maplewood Difference: What You Can Expect

Choosing out-of-network care means selecting a higher standard of support. When you work with us, here’s what you can expect:

Senior Clinicians with Expertise

Your experience is guided by senior clinicians who are deeply trained in couples and family therapy. These experts, along with our dedicated associate therapists, bring deep knowledge, real compassion, and specialized insight to your care. Each person’s journey receives respect and understanding.

Longer, Unhurried Sessions

Lasting change needs time. We offer flexible session lengths—including extended and intensive options—so you and your partner can thoughtfully work through even tough concerns. This dedicated time allows for deeper understanding and more meaningful progress.

Personalized Attention for Every Client

We intentionally keep our caseload small so that you are never just a number. Expect individualized guidance, empathy-building activities, and—when helpful—support between sessions. Your care is centered on your unique needs.

Understanding Your Investment: Why Quality Counts

Have you noticed that unaddressed relationship struggles don’t just affect the two of you, but can impact your overall well-being and family? The real cost of ongoing conflict or distance isn’t just financial—it can touch every part of your life.

Investing in specialized therapy isn’t only about what you pay each week. It’s about choosing a stronger, more resilient partnership and caring for your future together. High-quality support is an investment in growth, healing, and satisfaction for all involved.

We focus on real outcomes: helping reduce conflict, encourage meaningful connection, and increase overall relationship satisfaction—no matter your partnership’s starting point.

Navigating Costs: Making Therapy Accessible

We know that affording therapy can be a real concern, especially if you’re new to out-of-network options or unsure about insurance reimbursement. These tips can help make specialized care easier to access and fit within your budget:

Superbills—A Simple Way Toward Reimbursement

A superbill is a detailed receipt we give you after each session. It includes the info your insurance company needs to process your out-of-network claim. Submit your superbill, and—if your plan covers it—you’ll get reimbursed directly.

Out-of-Network PPO Benefits

If you have a Preferred Provider Organization (PPO) insurance plan, you may qualify for some coverage of out-of-network therapy after your deductible is met. This can make ongoing care much more affordable.
Example: If a session is $200 and your PPO reimburses 70% after deductibles, you pay $200 up front, submit your superbill, and receive $140 back—making your true cost $60 per session.

Using Your HSA or FSA

You’re welcome to use your Health Savings Account (HSA) or Flexible Spending Account (FSA) for payments. Pre-tax funds make costs more manageable, and all major HSA/FSA cards are accepted.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

Everyone experiences tough times in relationships, and reaching out for help shows real courage. Choosing specialized, out-of-network care means you value a safe, empathetic space with a focus on meaningful, lasting change—not just quick fixes.

If you and your partner want deeper connection, help navigating ongoing concerns, or hope for positive change, our team is here. Reach out with your questions about access, insurance, or to set up your first session—either virtually or in person. Together, we can support and renew your partnership.

Out-of-Network Benefits FAQs

Choosing the right therapy path can feel overwhelming, but having reliable answers makes a real difference. Here are some of the most common questions we hear about out-of-network care:

Why does Maplewood Counseling use an out-of-network model?

We want everyone to enjoy flexible, personalized support. Insurance—especially for relationship therapy—often requires a diagnosis or restricts time spent in sessions. Our out-of-network approach allows our experts to focus purely on supporting your growth.

What’s a superbill, and how do you use one?

A superbill is an itemized summary provided after each session that includes treatment codes and details for insurance reimbursement. You submit it to your insurance provider, and if you have out-of-network benefits, you’ll receive reimbursement directly.

How do out-of-network PPO benefits work?

Many PPO plans cover part of your therapy costs after meeting your deductible. For example, if your plan pays 70%, you pay upfront, submit your superbill, and get a portion reimbursed—helping to make therapy more accessible.

Can I use an HSA or FSA for sessions?

Yes. Health Savings Accounts and Flexible Spending Accounts can both be used for therapy, letting you maximize pre-tax savings and reduce out-of-pocket costs.

How can I tell if this investment is right for my relationship?

Have you noticed ongoing tension or difficulties communicating? Are there unresolved challenges affecting your partnership? Acting now protects your relationship and opens doors to healing. Our supportive, experienced team will guide you every step of the way—helping you discover growth, renewed connection, and hope no matter your story.

How do I get started?

You don’t have to figure it out alone. Reach out with questions or to schedule your first consultation. Your comfort and clarity are our priorities as you invest in a healthier partnership.

Helpful Resources

Couples Therapy Signs: It’s Time to Transform Your Relationship

Couples Therapy Signs: It’s Time to Transform Your Relationship

5 Signs Your Relationship Is Ready for a Positive Transformation

 

5 Signs Your Relationship Is Ready for a Positive Transformation

Does your relationship feel like it is stuck in a holding pattern? Do you sometimes look at your partner and remember the deep connection you used to share, wondering how to get back to that place of ease and understanding?

First, take a deep breath. It is completely normal to ask these questions. In fact, noticing these couples therapy signs is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Many of us are taught that couples therapy is a last resort—a “break glass in case of emergency” option when things have gone wrong. But what if we shifted that perspective? What if seeking support wasn’t about fixing what is broken, but about tending to what matters most?

Think of your relationship like a garden. Even the most beautiful gardens need regular watering, weeding, and sunlight to thrive. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, we need a master gardener to help us understand why the roses aren’t blooming or how to nurture the soil during a dry season. Recognizing couples therapy signs early can help you give your relationship the attention it deserves.

If you are reading this, you likely cherish your partnership and want it to be the best it can be. You aren’t looking for a way out; you are looking for a way in—back to the heart of your connection. Here are five couples therapy signs that show your relationship isn’t failing, but rather, is ready for the growth and renewal that professional guidance can provide.

1. You Are Ready to Break the Cycle of the “Same Old Argument”

We all have that one topic. Maybe it is about how the dishwasher is loaded, or perhaps it is deeper, involving finances or in-laws. No matter how it starts, the script always seems to end the same way. You say your lines, they say theirs, and you both walk away feeling unheard and exhausted.

This repetitive loop is incredibly common in committed relationships. It rarely means you are incompatible. Instead, it often signals that you are stuck in a communication pattern that no longer serves you—a classic couples therapy sign that reaching out for support could be helpful.

The Opportunity for Growth:
This “stuckness” is actually an invitation. It shows you that there is an underlying need—perhaps for validation, respect, or security—that isn’t being met.

In a safe, non-judgmental therapy setting, we can help you hit the pause button on that script. We move beyond what you are fighting about to explore why the cycle persists. By identifying the triggers and emotional responses fueling the loop, you can learn new, constructive ways to express your needs. Imagine replacing that exhausted frustration with a sense of relief because you finally feel understood.

2. You Feel More Like “Roommates” Than Partners

Life gets busy. Between careers, perhaps raising children, managing a household, and navigating social obligations, the romance can quietly slip to the bottom of the priority list. You might function incredibly well as a logistical team—coordinating schedules and paying bills with military precision—but the emotional and physical intimacy feels dormant.

Do you miss the spark? Do you miss feeling like your partner is your lover and confidant, rather than just the person you share a mortgage with? Noticing a lack of closeness or romance is one of the notable couples therapy signs to consider.

The Path to Reconnection:
Feeling like roommates is not a life sentence; it is a wake-up call. It suggests that your relationship has a strong foundation of partnership, but the emotional house built on top of it needs some redecorating.

Therapy offers a dedicated space to step out of “logistics mode” and back into “connection mode.” We provide the tools to help you reignite that bond, focusing on small, intentional acts of intimacy that remind you why you fell in love in the first place. This is about prioritizing each other again and rediscovering the joy of simply being together, without the to-do list hovering over your heads.

3. Silence Has Become Louder Than Words

In the early days, you might have talked until sunrise. Now, you might find yourself holding back. Perhaps you avoid bringing up certain topics because you are afraid it will start a conflict. Maybe you feel it is easier to just “keep the peace” than to rock the boat, so you swallow your true feelings.

This creates a wall of silence. While the house may be quiet, the emotional distance is deafening. You might feel lonely even when you are sitting right next to each other. If silence has replaced communication, this is another important couples therapy sign that your relationship may benefit from support.

Building a Safer Space:
Silence is often a defense mechanism. It protects us from perceived danger or rejection. However, true intimacy requires vulnerability, and vulnerability requires safety.

Working with a counselor can help you dismantle that wall, brick by brick. We focus on creating a safe environment where you can speak your truth without fear of judgment or explosion. We teach “active listening” techniques that ensure both partners feel validated. When you know your partner can hear your concerns with empathy rather than defensiveness, the silence naturally gives way to meaningful, healing conversation.

4. You Are Navigating a Major Life Transition

Change is the only constant in life, but that doesn’t make it easy. Even positive changes can place a tremendous amount of stress on a relationship.

Perhaps you are:

  • Welcoming a new baby into the family.
  • Blending families and navigating step-parenting.
  • Facing an empty nest after children leave.
  • Dealing with a career shift or retirement.
  • Coping with the loss of a loved one.

These transitions shake the ground beneath you. They force you to redefine your roles and routines, which can lead to friction if you and your partner process change differently. Couples therapy signs often appear during these times—feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or unsure how to support one another.

Navigating the Tides Together:
You do not have to weather these storms alone. Think of therapy as a compass during these times of disorientation. It provides a neutral ground to express your fears and hopes regarding the change.

By proactively seeking support during a transition, you transform a potential crisis into a bonding experience. You learn to lean on each other rather than pulling away. We help you develop a shared vision for this new chapter, ensuring that you grow together through the change, rather than growing apart.

5. You Simply Want “More” from Your Connection

Who says you have to wait for a problem to seek improvement? Athletes who are at the top of their game still have coaches. CEOs of successful companies still have mentors. Why should your relationship be any different?

Maybe you rarely fight. Maybe you generally get along well. But deep down, you have a sense that there is a deeper level of intimacy, understanding, and partnership available to you—you just aren’t sure how to access it. Recognizing a desire for increased closeness and growth is one of the most positive couples therapy signs.

Optimizing Your Partnership:
This is perhaps the most empowering sign of all. It shows a profound commitment to your shared happiness. “Preventative” or “enrichment” therapy is a powerful way to future-proof your relationship.

In these sessions, we focus on deepening empathy, enhancing your communication skills, and aligning your life goals. It is about taking a “good” relationship and making it “great.” We celebrate your strengths and give you the advanced tools to maintain a resilient, joyful connection for the long haul.

Taking the Next Step

Recognizing couples therapy signs in your relationship is the first step toward a healthier, happier partnership. It is an acknowledgment that your relationship is valuable and worth investing in.

Admitting you could benefit from support does not mean you have failed; it means you are wise enough to use the resources available to you. Whether you are looking to resolve deep-seated conflicts, have noticed some early couples therapy signs, or simply want to reignite the spark that brought you together, professional guidance can be the bridge to the relationship you desire.

We understand that reaching out can feel daunting. We want you to know that our door is open, and our space is safe, inclusive, and free of judgment. We are here to listen, to understand your unique story, and to walk alongside you as you build a stronger, more connected future together.

Are you ready to transform your challenges into opportunities for growth? Let’s start that conversation today.

Frequently Asked Questions

Who can benefit from couples therapy?
Couples therapy can be helpful for all partners, regardless of gender, background, or relationship type. Whether you are married, living together, dating, engaged, or in a long-distance or blended family situation, our therapists welcome and support all relationship dynamics. If you notice any couples therapy signs, it’s never too early—or too late—to seek support.

Do we need to have serious problems to start therapy?
Not at all. Many couples seek support to strengthen a healthy relationship, improve communication, or navigate stressors and transitions. Therapy is designed to help partners connect and grow at any stage of their journey, especially when early couples therapy signs appear.

Is couples therapy only for monogamous couples?
No. We offer support for monogamous, polyamorous, and non-traditional relationships. Our approach recognizes and respects the unique challenges and strengths present in different relationship structures. Couples therapy signs can show up in any relationship dynamic.

What if one of us feels nervous about attending therapy?
Feeling unsure or hesitant is completely normal. Our therapists work to ensure every partner feels safe, heard, and respected. You set the pace, and we create a welcoming environment where each voice matters—especially for those addressing couples therapy signs for the first time.

Are virtual sessions available?
Yes, we offer both in-person and virtual (online) therapy sessions to accommodate your needs and comfort level. Many couples find virtual sessions offer added convenience and privacy.

How do we choose the right therapist for our relationship?
We encourage an initial consultation to discuss your goals and preferences. Our experienced team will help match you with a therapist who understands your unique needs, identities, and cultural backgrounds.

Can therapy help with issues related to blended families or parenting?
Absolutely. We specialize in supporting families of all shapes and sizes. Whether you are co-parenting, blending households, or navigating parenting concerns, our therapists are ready to help you foster understanding and connection.

If you have any questions not addressed here, please reach out. Every relationship is unique, and we’re here to support you every step of the way as you recognize and respond to couples therapy signs.

Helpful Resources 

The 4 Fundamentals of a Lasting Relationship for Couples

The 4 Fundamentals of a Lasting Relationship for Couples

The 4 Fundamentals of a Lasting Relationship

You Can Build a Strong, Enduring Bond
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The 4 Fundamentals of a Lasting Relationship

 

Building Bonds That Last

Navigating the complexities of a relationship isn’t always easy, but understanding the fundamental principles can make the journey smoother and more rewarding. Whether you’re just starting or have been together for decades, these four key elements can help ensure your relationship stands the test of time.

The Importance of Freindship in Your Relationship

 

Embrace the Friendship in Your Relationship

Did you know that the happiest couples often describe their partner as their best friend? Being each other’s confidant and supporter forms the foundation of a lasting relationship. Friendship fosters open communication, trust, and mutual respect, making it easier to weather life’s ups and downs together.

Building Trust and Open Communication

Trust and open communication are essential components of a successful marriage. Trust takes time to build and can be easily broken, so it’s crucial to maintain honesty and transparency with your partner. Discuss your feelings, aspirations, fears, and insecurities openly. This level of communication deepens the bond and helps in resolving conflicts amicably.

Supporting Each Other Through the Good and Bad Times

Life’s challenges can either make or break a relationship. Being there for each other during tough times—whether it’s a career setback, health issues, or personal struggles—reinforces the sense of partnership. Offer a listening ear, words of encouragement, or practical help when your partner needs it. Your unwavering support will strengthen your connection and inspire mutual loyalty.

Keep the Connection Fun and Fresh, New Ideas

 

Fighting Boredom and Monotony in Your Relationship

It’s natural for relationships to settle into a routine over time, but monotony can lead to boredom and dissatisfaction. To keep the relationship exciting, it’s essential to introduce new and fun activities regularly. Novel experiences create shared memories and reignite the spark that brought you together in the first place.

Plan Date Nights and Adventures

Make it a point to plan regular date nights or weekend getaways. These outings don’t have to be extravagant; even a simple picnic in the park or a movie night at home can do wonders. The key is to prioritize quality time together and enjoy each other’s company away from daily responsibilities.

Exploring New Hobbies Together

Trying out new hobbies or interests can add an exciting dimension to your relationship. Whether it’s cooking classes, hiking, dancing, or even taking up a new sport, exploring activities together strengthens your bond. Plus, learning something new can be a fun and rewarding experience that brings you closer.

Supporting Each Other in Important Ways

 

Encouraging Personal Growth

A thriving relationship allows both partners to grow individually and together. Encourage your partner to pursue their passions, interests, and career goals. Celebrate their achievements and provide a safe space for them to explore new opportunities. Supporting each other’s growth leads to a more fulfilling and dynamic partnership.

Setting and Achieving Shared Goals

In addition to individual growth, working towards shared goals is vital for a successful relationship. Whether it’s buying a home, traveling, or starting a family, setting common objectives strengthens your partnership. Collaborate on creating a plan and celebrate milestones along the way, reinforcing your commitment to each other.

Balancing Independence and Togetherness

While it’s important to spend quality time together, maintaining a healthy balance between independence and togetherness is equally crucial. Allow each other space to pursue personal interests and hobbies. This balance ensures that both partners feel fulfilled and prevents feelings of suffocation or dependency.

Being Faithful, Trustworthy and Loyal, Committed for Lasting Relationship.

 

Commitment

Long-term commitment is the bedrock of a lasting relationship. It means being dedicated to your partner through thick and thin and making a conscious effort to nurture the relationship over time. Commitment goes beyond the initial honeymoon phase and requires ongoing effort to keep the love and connection alive.

Practicing Loyalty and Trustworthiness

Loyalty and trustworthiness are non-negotiable aspects of a successful marriage. Stay faithful to your partner and uphold your promises and commitments. Trust is a fragile element that, once broken, can be challenging to rebuild. Demonstrate your loyalty through actions, words, and unwavering support.

Putting Time and Effort in the Relationship Continually

Relationships require continual effort and reinvestment to thrive. Regularly reassess your relationship dynamics and identify areas that need improvement. Attend marriage counseling or couples therapy if necessary to address any underlying issues. Remember, investing time and energy into your relationship is a testament to your love and commitment.

Conclusion

In summary, a successful and lasting relationship hinges on several key elements. Being each other’s best friend, supporter, and confidant lays a solid foundation of trust and open communication. Keeping the spark alive through fun, novel activities ensures excitement and shared memories. Supporting each other’s growth and working towards shared goals fosters fulfillment and strengthens your partnership. Finally, fidelity involves long-term commitment, loyalty, and continually reinvesting in the relationship.

By incorporating these fundamentals into your relationship, you can build a strong, enduring bond that withstands the test of time. Remember, a successful relationship is not about perfection—it’s about progress, effort, and commitment. If you need personalized guidance, consider seeking marriage counseling or couples therapy in New Jersey to enhance your relationship further.

If you need help with building the fundamentals of a lasting relationship, reach out.

Get in touch now with Maplewood Counseling

 

3 Healthy Ways to Rekindle the Spark in Your Relationship

 

Are You a Highly Sensitive Person HSP ?

Are You a Highly Sensitive Person HSP ?

Are You a Highly Sensitive Person?

Understanding Your HSP Temperament
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Are You a Highly Sensitive Person?

As we have discussed in the previous sections, being a highly sensitive person (HSP) is not a negative trait. In fact, it is a natural and normal phenomenon that affects approximately 20% of the population. Understanding and embracing your sensitivity can bring about positive changes in your life.

One important aspect to keep in mind as an HSP is self-care. Due to your heightened sensitivity, you may be more prone to feeling overwhelmed and experiencing sensory overload. It is important to take breaks when needed, create a safe and calm environment, and engage in activities that help you recharge.

Another aspect of being an HSP is learning how to set boundaries. As someone who deeply feels the emotions of others and is attuned to their needs, it is important to prioritize your own well-being and set limits when necessary. This may involve saying no, taking breaks from social situations, or communicating your needs to others.

Additionally, being a highly sensitive person can also bring many strengths and gifts. Your deep empathy and intuition can make you an excellent listener and supportive friend. You may also have a keen eye for detail and be able to pick up on subtle cues and changes in your environment.

It is also important to note that sensitivity is not a one-size-fits-all trait. Each HSP may experience it differently, and there is no right or wrong way to be sensitive. It is important to embrace and celebrate your unique qualities as an HSP.

In conclusion, being a highly sensitive person can bring its challenges, but with self-care, boundary-setting, and embracing your strengths and uniqueness, it can also lead to a rich and fulfilling life. Remember, being sensitive is not a weakness, but a beautiful aspect of yourself that should be embraced and nurtured. So instead of viewing your sensitivity as a burden, see it as a gift that sets you apart from others in the best possible way. So, if you identify as an HSP or know someone who does, know that being highly sensitive is a normal and healthy trait that should be celebrated and understood. Let’s create a world where sensitivity is seen as a strength rather than a weakness and support each other in living our best lives as highly sensitive individuals.

Let us all embrace our sensitivity and use it to make positive changes in our lives and the world around us. Remember, being highly sensitive is not a limitation, but an opportunity to tap into our unique abilities and create a more compassionate and understanding society. Keep shining as the beautiful sensitive soul that you are!

Remember, you are not alone in your sensitivity. Take the time to understand and embrace this trait, and know that it can be a powerful tool for growth and change. Keep seeking knowledge and support, and don’t hesitate to reach out for help if needed. Here’s to living our best lives as highly sensitive individuals!

If you need help as a highly senstiive person (HSP), reach out.

Get in touch now with Maplewood Counseling

 

Mindfulness Helps You Navigate Life & Relationship Challenges

What is Your Relationship Attachment Style?

What is Your Relationship Attachment Style?

What is Your Relationship Attachment Style?

Create More Meaningful Relationships
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What is Your Relationship Attachment Style?

Why is Matters to Create a More Connected & Meaningful Life.

What is Your Relationship (Attachment) Style?

There are various relationship style tests available, ranging from quick online quizzes to more in-depth assessments. The results of these tests may categorize a person as having a secure attachment style, anxious attachment style, avoidant attachment style, or disorganized attachment style.

Secure Attachment Style:

Individuals with a secure attachment style tend to have healthy and positive views of themselves and their partner. They value intimacy and are open to emotional expression, trust, and honesty in a relationship. They also have effective communication skills and are able to resolve conflicts in a respectful manner.

Anxious Attachment Style:

Those with an anxious attachment style often struggle with self-doubt and fear of abandonment. They may crave constant reassurance from their partner and have difficulty expressing their needs or setting boundaries. This can lead to frequent arguments and a lack of trust in the relationship.

Avoidant Attachment Style:

Individuals with an avoidant attachment style tend to value independence and may have difficulty forming deep emotional connections. They may be dismissive or distant in their relationships, avoiding vulnerability and intimacy. This can create a sense of detachment and emotional unavailability in the relationship.

Disorganized Attachment Style:

A less common attachment style is disorganized attachment, where an individual may display a mix of anxious and avoidant behaviors. This can be the result of traumatic experiences or inconsistent caregiving in childhood. Those with a disorganized attachment style may struggle with forming and maintaining healthy relationships, as they may have difficulty understanding and regulating their emotions. They may also have a fear of intimacy or struggle with trust, making it challenging to build a strong and secure bond with their partner.

Understanding one’s own attachment style can be helpful in identifying patterns and behaviors that may impact the quality of a relationship. It can also provide insight into how to address challenges and improve communication with a partner.

It’s important to keep in mind that attachment styles are not fixed and can change over time, especially through self-reflection and therapy. Additionally, people may have different attachment styles in different relationships or situations. It’s important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your needs and to work together on creating a healthy, secure attachment in the relationship.

Attachment styles play a significant role in shaping our relationships and interactions with others. By understanding our own attachment style and being aware of its impact, we can work towards building healthier and more fulfilling connections with our partners.

Need help working towards secure attachment?

Therapy can help you understand how to get on a path of creating more secure relationships. If your relationship style is causing big problems in your relationship or for you personally, please reach out for help.

Have questions for us? Get in touch

Therapy as a Last Resort

 

Professional Therapy

Online or In-Person

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

 

Need Relationship Therapy ?

Why did it take so long? So many times it seems someone in a relationship or marriage has been asking to go to counseling for so long and their spouse or partner was not willing. Some think everything is ok or we can fix things ourselves. Others think “you need therapy not us.”

The problem with this (and as a therapist I’ve seen it so much over the years) is by the time someone is really ready it’s sometimes too late. The wake up call and realization that your spouse or partner is about done puts you in overdrive. Maybe you’ve heard threats of divorce and “I’m not happy” a lot, but never believed it. At a certain point, when someone feels beyond sad and angry – completely hopeless, there is a reality that really hits home. She (or he) is emotionally gone. Checked out. And the fear of being abandoned gets very real. It’s hard work and can be done sometimes to bring a couple back from the brink, but not every couple can make it.

What couples have a shot at recovery? Well it does depend on what you’ve been through in the relationship (and past painful issues) and each person’s willingness to work on things. It depends how high the wall is up – just how many months or years you’ve tried. One partner my feel “why now after I’ve asked you forever to go to counseling?” Feelings of anger and resentment for knowing you needed help – at least one of you was very unhappy and wanted professional help. Possibly pleasing with your wife, husband or partner to go talk to someone.

It seems only when the unwilling spouse starts to feel pain and fear are they finally ready – sometimes even picking up the phone to find a therapist asap.

It is an important first step to make that call, but know if you are the one who was not willing for a long time, your parents may be angry and not as willing now. I see many couples in this place and work to help them come together on this issue so they can go work on the deeper, longstanding problems plaguing the relationship.

If you are both ready or at least want to see if you can come back from a very bad place in your relationship, contact us at 973-902-8700.

Relationship Therapy

Counseling as Last Resort

Stressed and Overwhelmed