Do You Fight Over Your In-Laws?

Problems With In-Laws?

Family & Marital Therapy

Fights over in laws?

Do you need help resolving in-law issues?

You’re not alone if you struggle and fight about your parents or your spouses parents. Even if in-laws mean well, it doesn’t always translate into their actions.

So many couples struggle dealing with a mother-in-law or father-in-law. It can be so complicated and cause one spouse to feel like they’re in the middle and they want their partner to get along with their parent (s)

Easier said than done.Are you constantly hearing “you didn’t protect me”, “ you didn’t stand up for me me “, “Your mom or parents are awful to me and you say nothing”. Do you feel your wife or husband does things that offend your family? Do you fear saying something to your family even though you can understand what your spouse feels? Do you struggle understanding and see what your parents are doing that might bother your wife or husband? It does make sense if you are used to the way your parents do things and your spouse is not, then you might not really understand why they are having such a hard time. These situations are delicate and you can work through them so that there isn’t so much pain and anger and disconnect.

There are somethings you both can do to get better at understanding and being there for each other through these in-law ups and downs. Discussing in a safe place with a trained and experienced marital therapist (or coupes counselor) for starters. A place where you can get help listening and understand and validating the experience rather than defending against or arguing.

Get in touch if you’re having a lot of problems dealing with a mother-in-law or Other in law’s. It’s common in relationships and there is something you can do.

In a Disconnected Relationship?

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

Disconnected Relationship ?

Couples & Marriage Counseling

Maplewood Counseling

In a Disconnected Relationship?

Unable to listen or understand one another?

What causes disconnect?

When you resort to constant criticism when you can’t get through and feel heard
If you feel like you don’t matter and are not important
Because you don’t feel safe enough emotionally to hang in there when one of you are upset and argue
If you hold back and do not share how you feel since it seems gets you nowhere
When you defend yourself instead of really trying to understand and listen to you partner’s concerns
Since you need help approaching rather than avoiding dealing with issues
Because you are not kind, empathetic and compassionate

The Disconnected Relationship

If you understand what makes it difficult it will help you do a better job in your relationship. Maybe there is a lack of awareness of how past experiences and role models are influencing the way relate today. So if you are both open and willing, you can get better at these very important things…listening, understanding, accepting, supporting and forgiving.

Most importantly, the very things that helps couples feel more connected are feeling important, safe, and comforted in times of need. Therefore, this is what will help improve communication, intimacy, heal from infidelity and many other difficult issues. Also this will hep you deal with parenting, in-law or other family conflict. Understanding your patterns and breaking habits will help you move in the right direction. It is not an instant process and takes work learn how be there (in ways your partner needs not what you think they need), be open (listen, reflect on the past to become more aware, and try to understand) , be honest (saying how your really feel in ways the other person will be more inclined to hear it) and be kind (see what makes it difficult to be kind, empathetic and compassionate) .

From disconnected relationship to secure, connected relationship.

If you are willing and open, you can work on the things that will make you feel more connected and “wanted”. It will be very worthwhile in connecting in your relationship in ways that feel good to both of you.

Need help making this happen? Are you both open to change? Get in touch and let us know. We’re here when you’re ready.