Denying an Affair?

Denying An Affair?
Scared to Tell The Truth?

You or Your Partner Denying An Affair?

Is denying an affair causing causing pain and mistrust? Does this sounds familiar?

Are you lying repeatedly when your partner or spouse questions you?
Are you gaslighting your spouse ( “ you’re crazy, nothings going on. It’s all in your head” )?
Is it making you feel lousy about lying and hurting your partner?
Is it hard to let go of something that feels good?
Are you worried what will happen when you and the affair ( Will the person act out and contact your partner or spouse? )
Do you need help ending the affair and the fear of being honest with your partner?
Do you worry about losing your relationship or marriage?

There are so many problems that arise from an affair. Living a double life and secretly texting, calling and meeting the person you’re having an affair with – and lying about it causes damage on many levels. There are some men and women that want to stop the affair and don’t know how. There are others that know that they’ll feel loss when they give up whatever the affair is making them feel ( not wanting to let go of the attention or feeling special or maybe you fear what will happen when you do come clean).

On the other hand, maybe your spouse or partner finally came forward with “proof” after denying an affair and there’s no disputing it. What do you do then?

It depends. According to sex therapist and infidelity specialist Esther Perel, there are three main reasons people seek out affairs

it’s a wake up call to a relationship that has been disconnected and needs some changes here
The relationship has been so bad and unhappy for so long that an affair can be the last straw for a relationship that’s already “dying on the vine “
Sometimes it doesn’t have anything to do with the relationship and it’s more of personal Journey Or something meaningful about the relationship.

Are you feeling insecure and sense your husband or wife is involved with a coworker or someone else? Do you have a strong gut feeling and know that your partner or spouse is doing something inappropriate. Do you feel betrayed and confused? Are they very protective about their phone or email? Do you need help with what to do about this situation for yourself?

Or are you a wife or husband that is stuck and feeling trapped in a bad situation regarding an emotional or physical affair. Do you fear that being honest about the infidelity will end your marriage or relationship? Do you want it to end?

If you are denying an affair ( or feel your spouse is denying the affair ) and need help sorting through feelings and steps to take, get in touch

&nbsp:

Trying to End An Affiar?

Dealing With An Emotional Affair

Relationships

Having An Emotional Affair ?

Need Help now?

Dealing With An Emotional Affair

The Emotional Affair

An emotional affair can be devastating for a couple. The same feelings can get triggered as an actual sexual affair. For the same reasons.

When you are the one having emotional affair – Emotional affairs can cause a lot of damage to your relationship. Maybe you think it’s not so bad since you were just having conversations with other women or men. What’s the big deal if it’s not a physical or sexual affair. However, lying and hiding things, being dishonest and sharing intimate thoughts and feelings with someone else is betrayal. Infidelity usually starts with flirting and can always lead to more involvement. Especially when both people are on the same page. You’re definitely playing with fire.

Letting go of the attention is hard sometimes – It may be hard to stop the affair since you are enjoying the attention and the way it makes you feel. It might be especially hard thing to give up if you’ve been feeling distant or having other issues affecting your marriage. This also goes for couples that are not married.

The Emotional Affair

When your partner had or is having an emotional affair – Maybe you felt there’s something wrong for a long time. You noticed different behavior. Maybe it was with a coworker or an online affair. Something was off. You may even have confronted your partner about your suspicions only to have him or her deny anything is going on. But your gut continued to tell you something was mot right.

So what should you do?

If possible, sitting down with an experienced therapist can help you sort through these issues. Sometimes one person will not cooperate and go to counseling, but don’t let that stop you from getting help if you need it. Even by yourself.

If you just found out about the emotional affair by finding something like an inappropriate text or if your partner finally confessed, it’s time to think about the next step. Of course it’s completely devastating to find this out and/or finally have it validated. And in a way it also feels good that you weren’t crazy after all if you suspected.

Step-by-step healing.

First of all, the emotional affair must stop immediately if you are going to start working on building trust back again. For the person having the affair, this might be challenging if you will feel pain giving up something that made you feel good. If you don’t want to lose your marriage or relationship over it, it’s important to think about how much more pain you’ll be in if you don’t stop.

Why did I do it? This is a question many people ask when they have done something like an emotional affair and even infidelity that involves a sexual component. Many trustworthy, good people end up in this place. It’s something that they would never ever have thought they would do and always judge other people. Now you know it can happen to good people and good relationships.

Important to understand why this happened and what you can do to heal your relationship. Sometimes the person who had the emotional affair can benefit from his or her own individual counseling to understand what happened and/or to get help letting go.

If you need help with an emotional affair as a couple or individual, please get in touch with us.