Simple, Loving Attention

Relationship Need Attention?

Feeling Neglected & Unhappy?

Couples Counseling NJ

Attention is the Key to a Connected Relationship

Simple, loving attention is the very thing that most people need in their relationship. So, what makes it so difficult for most people to give this to their spouse or partner?

What Makes it Difficult

Habit and conditioning get in the way of giving your partner positive attention. As a result, most men and women sincerely struggle with knowing how to do this. Maybe something about this does not feel right or “normal”. Also, it’s possible that fear about other issues get in the way, such as trying to provide for your family. Some people sincerely think they’re doing their job if they’re making money. That’s what they learned growing up, and that’s the way they think it supposed to be done.

As a result, you may be working like crazy and spending all of your time trying to provide for your family. The problem is, you are not paying enough attention to your spouse and family. The result is unhappiness all the way around.

What (You and) Your Partner Really Needs

Your partner needs your attention. It’s what will help both of you feel closer and more connected. Attention by way of appreciation, noticing the smallest things and expressing your gratitude.

How you both benefit from this type of attention and appreciation:

When you notice your wife or husband had a hard day, whether at home or work. When you actually listen to your partner about his or her day…the good and the bad. Really listening and being there. Maybe responding with:

“I’m sorry you had a bad day at work. Is there anything I can do to help? I really appreciate how hard you work and everything you do for us. I know it’s not always easy. ” If you are paying attention and aware enough, notice a what your partner has done around the house, new blouse, haircut or long commute. Also, consciously paying your partner a complement or commenting on things that are not easy. It also takes noticing if your partner is struggling and conveying that “I am here, how can I help? “.

If you are in a pattern of feeling neglected in alone, learning to be more attentive will help. It’s not easy to change patterns, progress takes steady, hard work. But, if you can move in this direction, you will have much more happy, healthy and satisfying relationship.

If you need help with positive attention and your relationship, get in touch

How Attention Helps Us To Succeed

Argue All the Time?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Argue All the Time?

Couples Counseling | Communication

New Jersey

Do you argue all the time?

If you argue all the time, it can result in feeling emotionally drained, lonely, and angry. For that reason, you might feel depressed and hopeless especially if you constantly get stuck in this place.

Even more, it can make you grow so far apart that you end up feeling alone and disconnected. Probably, you wonder if it’s time to split up since you can’t break this pattern.

Learning to Listen

If you and your spouse are willing and open, you can learn how to connect in healthier ways. It will take listening, compromising, negotiating and getting better at controlling your own negative emotional reactions. On addition, It is important to make it safe enough so you both can express your true feelings and thoughts without fear of verbal insults, interruption, defensiveness and criticism.

Petty Arguments and Trivial Complaints

Petty arguments are usually about something deeper. Its never the small stuff that really matters and most couples know it.. So, understanding the feelings that get triggered under the arguments will help you both do a better job changing to create healthier communication. Most importantly, knowing how to heal will include listening, understanding, accepting, supporting and forgiving one another to heal.

If you need help because you argue all the time, get in touch.