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Struggling to Stay in Your Marriage or Relationship?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Marriage In a Bad Place?

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Some married couples have grown so disconnected overtime that one or both people are ready for a split. You either have been grieving for a long time quietly, maybe alone… and you’ve agonized about this decision for a long time – maybe sharing the Divorce word over and over with your spouse or keeping all of those thoughts to yourself.

It is more rare that both people are on the same page when it comes to ending the marriage.

Does this sound familiar?

  • You’ve tried for so long to deal with your negative feelings about your spouse
  • There has been so much disconnect over a long period of time that it’s hard to come back and connect again
  • You’ve been on the receiving end of so much emotional, mental, verbal abuse or neglect that you just feel done and need help figuring out the next step.
  • You’ve been working so hard to try and make things better and to make those feelings go away
  • You feel guilty and don’t want to hurt your husband or wife and tell them you want to divorce
  • You don’t know what to do and need some help to discuss things in a safe place with a therapist to guide you

Divorce and Breaking up whether you’re married or partnered is painful. Even if you’re with the one that feels like you need to separate, it is not easy.

If you need help from a nonjudgmental, safe relationship or marriage counselor to discuss your feelings and concerns, feel free to get in touch.

Call 973-902-8700 Maplewoood Counseling

Is Your Marriage in Trouble?

Marriage Problems? Can’t Get Along?

Marriage Problems? Can’t Get Along?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Problems in Your Marriage?

NJ Marriage Counseling

Maplewood Counseling

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Marriage Problems? Can’t Get Along?

Marriage Problems? Trouble Getting Along?

Sometimes couples are having so many marriage problems they not only dislike one other, they sometimes hate each other. When you cannot feel understood, alone, abused or neglected, your marriage or relationship can start going to a very negative place.

At first in any new relationship, it seems so wonderful. So easy to fall in love, communicate and to get that connection. As time goes on, the way people get triggered by the other person increases. With those triggers comes more arguments, fights and conflict. In some cases, the result is a certain dynamic between the two of you that involves eater pursuing and pushing in an attempt to get what you need or withdrawing, shutting down, putting up a wall to protect yourself from feeling attacked.

Marriage Problems | What to do

Sometimes couples come in and one partner feels like their wife or husband actually “hates me”. I feel like I can’t do anything right and my spouse constantly criticizes me. She/he is always angry over the smallest things. When you are stuck in such a negative place/pattern, you will most likely need help getting out of it – otherwise the relationship is not going to make it. There’s just no way you can both exist feeling so much pain, which is at the heart of the problems anyway.

It’s good to become aware of what’s actually going on. To reflect in a different way on current issues and how issues from the past may be getting triggered. Many couples relive painful childhood experiences triggered by the other person. It’s good to be able to understand this in a different way – maybe you hate feeling the level of pain and that your partner triggers, but understanding what’s going on and what you both need is critical to developing a better connection.

Struggling with marriage problems? Do you need a marital therapist or relationship counselor to help you work on breaking your negative cycle to help you get to a better place?

If you’d like to sit down and discuss and a counseling session, feel free to get in touch and let us know how we can help.

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

Marriage Problems? Need Counseling?

Need a Pre-Marriage Counselor?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Pre-Marriage Counseling

Premarital Therapy
New Jersey

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Pre-Marriage Counselor | Premarital Counseling

Find Counseling Before Getting Married

Do you need pre-marriage counselor to discuss some things with your fiancé? Are you engaged and scared about getting married? Are you having doubts about the relationship and fear about this level of commitment? As your wedding date approaches are you arguing a lot more and feeling more disconnected and distant? Do you need a pre-marriage counselor to help you both figure things out?

It is not unusual when you are engaged to feel a level of fear and stress is your wedding date approaches. Feeling unsure, ambivalent and just fear about getting married can get played out and make the relationship worse.

Does this sound familiar?

  • You or your fiancé are getting cold feet
  • You or your significant other are afraid of commitment
  • Fear and doubt are causing you or your partner to feel very insecure
  • You are really unhappy about the unpleasant feelings that are coming up and are not sure what to do
  • You do not have the ability to communicate what you need tohelp you feel more confident

Couples that are looking for help with pre-marriage counseling or pre-marital therapy have questions they need help bringing up and discussing openly about the relationship.

If you are at a place where you need help with this if you’re in doubt, feel free to get in touch and let us know how we can help.



Need Relationship Help?

Marriage Counseling NJ , Couples Therapy New Jersey

Premarraige Counseling NJ

Are you engaged and in need of pre-marriage counseling with your fiancé? Have some things you’d like to work through before you get married?

Premarital Therapy

Premarital therapy can help you discuss some important things before marriage. Have some concerns you want to talk about regarding relationship or family issues?

Engaged Couples

If you are engaged and are having cold feet, counselings can help? Did your partner do something that upset you and now you are concerned about getting married?

Is Your Marriage in Trouble?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Is Your Marriage in Trouble?

Time to Get help?

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Is Your Marriage in Trouble?

Are you really scared about the status of your relationship? Are you feeling like your wife or husband has completely shut down? Are they now discussing wanting a divorce or breaking up? Are you feeling terrified and not sure what to do?

I hear from many men and women who are really scared of losing their marriage or relationship. They are feeling abandoned emotionally by their spouse. There has probably has been ongoing problems in the relationship that have never been dealt with properly and it has caused a great amount of distance and disconnect in the relationship. Often times one person has been asking (or begging ) to go to a couples or marriage counselor and those requests were ignored. Unfortunately, ignoring someone’s pleas to get help can cause great damage to the relationship. Sometimes that damage can be repaired and sometimes not.

So what should you do? Certainly, discussing what you are going through with a trained and experience therapist can help you figure out your next step. Fear or feelings of abandonment can cause people to struggle with sleep and lose their appetite and be unable to eat.

When Your Relationship or Marriage is in Trouble

The worse things are in the marriage, the more help you will need (if both people are willing) to turn things around. Each situation is different.

If you want to know what to do with your intense emotions and struggle, feel free to get in touch.

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

Strengthening Your Marriage During Stressful Times

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Strengthening Your Marriage

Get Connected Again

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Strengthening Your Marriage During Stressful Times

There is nothing like the stress of a new baby, children and managing work and family responsibilities. The demands of your job and feeling pulled in so many ways can put the relationship on the back burner. If you don’t feel like a priority or struggle making your relationship a priority, the result may be anger, ongoing conflict and disconnect. This stress can cause one partner to find ways of coping, which sometimes means online cheating, an affair and infidelity. Disconnect and anger is never an excuse for having an affair, but most of the time this level of betrayal is a symptom of a problem in your relationship that needs attention.

Common complaints for people seeking marriage or couples counseling:

  • Not feeling like a priority
  • An affair, infidelity, online cheating and other betrayal
  • Communication problems
  • Feeling stressed and overwhelmed managing work and family responsibilites
  • Feeling like you don’t matter to your spouse
  • Feeling like you can’t count on your partner
  • Feeling alone and disconnected
  • Lack of sex and intimacy

It is certainly understandable that balancing things at home and work is very challenging for most families these days. Not feeling like you can communicate in a productive ways can only make matters worse. Maybe you feel like you don’t matter, like you’re not important. Maybe you feel like you can’t count on your partner or spouse to be there for you emotionally and otherwise.

What is an very important – and we will discuss these things in counseling- is reflecting on all the things that influence the way you relate to one another. This includes what you’ve been through in your early significant relationships – how your role models treated each other and treated you will influence your behavior and expectations to a great extent. Is important in understanding your present day dynamic to understand how these have influence the way you communicate, respond or react to your significant other. The same will be for them, so understanding that your spouse or partner has their own paradigm and issues will significantly impact your dynamic and not necessarily in a positive way.

Strengthening Your Marriage During Stressful Times

Need couples or marriage counseling to help in strengthening your marriage or relationship!? See how therapy can help you understand your spouse and get better at responding to their needs rather than reacting. Learn how to communicate in ways that your spouse or partner will be more likely to hear rather than get defensive. Get in touch if you are looking for a skilled and experienced therapist in Northern New Jersey.

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

Marriage Therapist | Are You in Crisis?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Find a Marriage Therapist

Help Improving Your Relationship

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Searching for a Marriage Therapist in NJ?

Has your spouse or partner been asking to go to therapy? Did you feel like you could handle things on your own? Did you not realize how much pain and disappointment your partner has been feeling sometimes for years? Are you feeling pain now and decided it’s time to go to therapy? Are you the one who’s been feeling pain for a long time – show this to your spouse or partner so they don’t wait until it’s too late. It’s important to try and get into therapy sooner and not wait until things are in crisis and it’s hard to come back from feeling so sad, alone, angry and disappointed for so long.

This happens all too often when I hear from someone looking for marriage or couples therapy. They are no the one feeling tremendous pain and, as a result, very motivated to go to counseling – finally. What they are feeling most likely is what their spouse or partner has been feeling for sometimes a very long time. That’s where it gets difficult.

In a way – in a big way,  you can sense how distant and checked out your partner is. Maybe they’re even saying they want a divorce and that they’re done. You can somehow sense how much you don’t matter anymore. So at this point, the wall is up very high. I do see a lot of couples that are in this place – some can come back and some cannot. It’s hard for me to know unless I meet with each person and the couple to assess what has been going on in the relationship and how both people are feeling at this point. I carefully assess the person that has had to build up a wall to protect themselves from ongoing pain in a relationship. Feeling like he or she doesn’t matter, they i’ve been feeling very alone in the  relationship. And feeling like they have not been able to count on their spouse or partner to be there emotionally for a very long time.

So if this is where you’re at right now in your relationship – not sure how this is going to end up, but desperately trying to save your relationship, counseling can help you figure out what the next step is in a safe place. Safe for both people.

If you are looking for marriage therapist in NJ or couples counseling to help you figure this out, feel free to reach out to me to see how therapy can help.

Contact Maplewoood Counseling