Should We Stay or Split up?

Stay or Split?

NJ Marriage & Discernment Therapy

Maplewood Counseling

Maplewood Counseling
Offering Online & In-person Sessions
169 Maplewood Ave Suite 4
Maplewood, NJ 07040
Call Now (973) 793-1000

Should We Stay or Split Up?

Can We Resolve Our Issues?

Not sure if you can work things out in your marriage or relationship? Should you get divorced, separated or break-up? Have you been been through too much and not sure you can feel good about each other again?

Does this sound familiar?

You’re struggling with forgiving infidelity or an affair
You can’t seem to get over your spouse or partner not being there for you
You’re unable to forgive your spouse for choosing his or her family over you
You can’t seem to forget and accept things that have happened in the past that have caused you pain.

Do you need help working through painful events in your relationship? Do you need help forgiving your husband, wife or partner or making another decision about your relationship?

It is important to understand forgiveness and how complicated it can be. Forgiveness is so important for your own sake. Does this always mean you can work out your differences? Not for all couples, but if you are both willing to really work through painful events and are open and honest, you may be able to heal and work things out.

If you need help and you feel stuck in a painful place, get in touch. We can help your explore your next step in a safe place

In a Disconnected Relationship?

Do You Fight Over Your In-Laws?

Anxiety, Relationships

Problems With In-Laws?

Family & Marital Therapy

Maplewood Counseling
Offering Online & In-person Sessions
169 Maplewood Ave Suite 4
Maplewood, NJ 07040
Call Now (973) 793-1000

Fights over in laws?

Do you need help resolving in-law issues?

You’re not alone if you struggle and fight about your parents or your spouses parents. Even if in-laws mean well, it doesn’t always translate into their actions.

So many couples struggle dealing with a mother-in-law or father-in-law. It can be so complicated and cause one spouse to feel like they’re in the middle and they want their partner to get along with their parent (s)

Easier said than done.Are you constantly hearing “you didn’t protect me”, “ you didn’t stand up for me me “, “Your mom or parents are awful to me and you say nothing”. Do you feel your wife or husband does things that offend your family? Do you fear saying something to your family even though you can understand what your spouse feels? Do you struggle understanding and see what your parents are doing that might bother your wife or husband? It does make sense if you are used to the way your parents do things and your spouse is not, then you might not really understand why they are having such a hard time. These situations are delicate and you can work through them so that there isn’t so much pain and anger and disconnect.

There are somethings you both can do to get better at understanding and being there for each other through these in-law ups and downs. Discussing in a safe place with a trained and experienced marital therapist (or coupes counselor) for starters. A place where you can get help listening and understand and validating the experience rather than defending against or arguing.

Get in touch if you’re having a lot of problems dealing with a mother-in-law or Other in law’s. It’s common in relationships and there is something you can do.

In a Disconnected Relationship?

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

Disconnected Relationship ?

Couples & Marriage Counseling

Maplewood Counseling

Maplewood Counseling
Offering Online & In-person Sessions
169 Maplewood Ave Suite 4
Maplewood, NJ 07040
Call Now (973) 793-1000

In a Disconnected Relationship?

Unable to listen or understand one another?

What causes disconnect?

When you resort to constant criticism when you can’t get through and feel heard
If you feel like you don’t matter and are not important
Because you don’t feel safe enough emotionally to hang in there when one of you are upset and argue
If you hold back and do not share how you feel since it seems gets you nowhere
When you defend yourself instead of really trying to understand and listen to you partner’s concerns
Since you need help approaching rather than avoiding dealing with issues
Because you are not kind, empathetic and compassionate

The Disconnected Relationship

If you understand what makes it difficult it will help you do a better job in your relationship. Maybe there is a lack of awareness of how past experiences and role models are influencing the way relate today. So if you are both open and willing, you can get better at these very important things…listening, understanding, accepting, supporting and forgiving.

Most importantly, the very things that helps couples feel more connected are feeling important, safe, and comforted in times of need. Therefore, this is what will help improve communication, intimacy, heal from infidelity and many other difficult issues. Also this will hep you deal with parenting, in-law or other family conflict. Understanding your patterns and breaking habits will help you move in the right direction. It is not an instant process and takes work learn how be there (in ways your partner needs not what you think they need), be open (listen, reflect on the past to become more aware, and try to understand) , be honest (saying how your really feel in ways the other person will be more inclined to hear it) and be kind (see what makes it difficult to be kind, empathetic and compassionate) .

From disconnected relationship to secure, connected relationship.

If you are willing and open, you can work on the things that will make you feel more connected and “wanted”. It will be very worthwhile in connecting in your relationship in ways that feel good to both of you.

Need help making this happen? Are you both open to change? Get in touch and let us know. We’re here when you’re ready.

Need Help With Forgiveness?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Help With Forgiveness

Families, Couples, Individuals

Maplewood Counseling

Maplewood Counseling
Offering Online & In-person Sessions
169 Maplewood Ave Suite 4
Maplewood, NJ 07040
Call Now (973) 793-1000

Relationship Forgiveness is Important

Forgiving Your Spouse or Partner
Are you having trouble forgiving your spouse or partner?

Does this sound familiar?

You recently found out about an affair
You’re still struggling with infidelity that happened in the past
You’re unable to forgive your husband or wife for not being there in important ways
You’re struggling and feel stuck in anger and resentment

Relationships can be very painful and challenging fir every couple, at times. We all make mistakes and some mistakes are very difficult to forgive. Forgiveness, however, is more for the person they get stuck in those negative emotions. When you forgive, you are actually freeing yourself from something that ultimately is bad for you.

Forgiving and letting go

When your spouse or partner has done something that has hurt you deeply, finding peace again through forgiveness is important. We also know how challenging and difficult it can be.

We all make mistakes

Understanding that people do the best they can and their behavior may cause others tremendous pain. It’s really a matter of understanding what to do – how to handle things yourself when you feel that pain, hurt, the trail in anger.

Can the relationship be saved?

This is up to you and your significant other. Some situations – many – can be worked through and healed. Some cannot. If your partner or spouse is willing to learn what it takes to help you heal, your relationship will have a good chance of surviving. If your partner does not seem willing – it doesn’t mean that you don’t work on forgiveness for yourself, but it means you may have to make some decisions about staying in or leaving the relationship or marriage.

If you are feeling stuck in a bad place and unable to move in one direction or the other, get in touch. We are very experienced with helping couples heal and forgive if you’re committed too the process. We also help other couples and individuals (married and partnered) decide if they can work things out,

Get in touch and let us know how we cab help you.

Need Couple Counseling in NJ?

Honesty in Your Marriage and Relationship

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

Relationship Honesty

Helping Couples Build Trust

Maplewood Counseling

Maplewood Counseling
Offering Online & In-person Sessions
169 Maplewood Ave Suite 4
Maplewood, NJ 07040
Call Now (973) 793-1000

Relationships and Honesty

Do you struggle with honesty in your relationship? Are there things you don’t share with you spouse or partner? Are you afraid to tell things with your spouse or partner something?

Being dishonest does not necessarily mean your are deliberately lying – in the case of someone directly asking if something is wrong or sensing something is wrong and directly asking. But lying to avoid getting caught in something potentially very damaging to your relationship – an affair, is a different type of dishonesty. Men and women are dishonest for different reasons sometimes.

Is this you?

You’re having an affair and are feeling stuck in a very bad situation
You’re texting other women or men and flirting and it’s hard to stop
You don’t tell your spouse or partner important things because you don’t want to hurt him or her
You don’t say how you really feel about sex and end up going through the motions and feeling unhappy
You don’t feel you can share what you want or need because you’re spouse won’t understand or care
You’re afraid your husband or wife will get angry if you say how you really feel about something

Lack of honesty will eventually lead to bigger problems, A couples can get very disconnected over time if they don’t share how unhappy they are about certain things and just accept it will never change. To deal with the disconnect, sometime one partner will find some relief in the attention from someone else. Disconnection and unhappiness at home can make many people very vulnerable to the smallest amount of attention from the outside.

It is important to be honest more now to reduce bigger problems down the road. If you need help to prevent bigger problems or if have already crossed over into infidelity or other bigger problems, get in touch.

Unhappy Marriage or Relationship?

What it Takes to Improve Your Marriage

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

Improve Your Marriage

What Will Help

Get in Touch

Maplewood Counseling
Offering Online & In-person Sessions
169 Maplewood Ave Suite 4
Maplewood, NJ 07040
Call Now (973) 793-1000

Improve Your Marriage or Relationship

What will it take to improve any relationship? Learning to be there emotionally, be open and willing to make necessary changes, be honest and trustworthy and be compassionate. Men and woman who are determined can get better at understanding, making it safe emotionally, and knowing how to sooth or comfort your spouse or partner when they are expressing sadness, disappointment or anger..

What makes it difficult to improve your marriage or relationship is truly having difficulty understanding your spouse or partner – not really getting where he or she is coming from. What gets in the way are all of the negative habits or patterns you’ve developed over your lifetime when it comes to relationships. It’s also difficult if you feel like your wife or husband doesn’t listen to you or understand you.

Improving Your Relationship

Reflecting on the past – they way you were conditioned growing up and how your role models taught you how people treat each other. If your role models did not treat one another with love and respect, it will help you bring those negative patterns into awareness and slowly let go of any negative types of behaviors so you don’t have to keep reliving them now. For example, if you watched and heard your role models argue and yell, treat one another with disrespect, get defensive and not know how to listen and respond to one another, then most likely you picked up those habits. Even if you were raised by single parent or parents that got divorced, how they treated you informs the way you think relationships work.

Understanding past relationships and experiences will help you improve your relationship tremendously. You can learn to create a more loving and connected relationship throughAnd make your relationship understanding, awareness, presence, compassion and kindness.

Getting Relationship Help

If you need help breaking out of negative relationship patterns and creating more positive ways of interacting, reach out to us or any experienced marriage and couples therapist.

You just have to take that step. It does take courage and commitment to work on breaking a pattern or habit, but any person or couple that is determined can make it happen. It will be well worth the effort.

Let us know when you’re ready. We are here to help.

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