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Why Does Infidelity Happen?

Why Does Infidelity Happen?

INFIDELITY THERAPY NEAR ME NJ 

 

Coping with Infidelity?
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Why Does Infidelity Happen?

 

Understanding and dealing with infidelity

Infidelity is common in today’s society, and yet, it’s a taboo that has existed for centuries. Relationships and marriages suffer when infidelity occurs. The deceived partner generally feels hurt and lost, or perhaps angry and betrayed. The partner having the affair might feel guilty and terrible about the harm and hurt feelings they’ve caused.

It’s a fact that many people have been exposed to affairs. Perhaps they experienced it as a child, seeing affairs occur in their parent’s marriage. Or, perhaps they found out about friends or relatives involved in affairs. Or, maybe they took part in an affair themselves. Then, there’s the flip side, being the one whose partner had an affair.

So…why do people cheat?

Esther Perel, a psychotherapist, who is a leading expert on relationship counseling, raises meaningful questions in her TED Talk video entitled “Rethinking Infidelity…a talk for anyone who has ever loved.”

The questions she raises dig deep into the reasons that affairs occur. Her talk also offers hope for those who want to restore their relationship after an affair. Of course, the reasons for an affair can vary from couple to couple. However, infidelity often shares common denominators.

Questions that help provide guidance during counseling

A question for both partners of a couple to answer:

Does the affair have to be the end of your relationship?

Questions for the partner who had the affair:

  • What made you want to have an affair? Was it for the sex? Or was it for the attention, the desire to feel special or important?
  • Did you experience a loss prior to having the affair—for example the loss of a parent, a friend, a career, or bad news from a doctor?
  • Were you happy with your partner but looking for a deeper emotional connection, for novelty, autonomy or sexual intensity?
  • Was your marriage already dying and the affair was simply the final straw?
  • Did the secretive relationship make you feel more alive? Were you attracted because it was a taboo, something you shouldn’t do?
  • Were you trying to find a different aspect of yourself, perhaps be a different or better version of yourself in a new relationship?
  • Are you sorry that having an affair hurt your partner?

For the partner deceived by the affair:

  • Did discovering the affair make you doubt yourself? Did you wonder who you were and if you had value?
  • Could you no longer trust your partner? Did you start distrusting other people in general?
  • Were you upset because you thought you had a happy relationship and didn’t understand why your partner would stray?
  • Do you wonder what your partner found through the affair that they believed they couldn’t experience with you?
  • Did you feel like you were no longer special—you weren’t “the one” anymore?
  • After discovering the affair, did you feel a loss of identity, like you didn’t know who you were?
  • Did you feel your partner lied to you, “you’re crazy, nothing is happening” and feel gaslighting was making you doubt yourself and your gut?
  • Even though you never had an affair, did you betray your partner in other ways? Through condemnation, criticism, neglect, indifference or perhaps even violence?

Find out how relationship counseling can help

With any difficulty that arises in life, it’s possible to emerge from it with a broader perspective and a deeper understanding. Finding ways to rediscover joy and meaning in life is vital for everyone.

Whether or not you stay together and recreate your relationship is a decision that you as a couple will make. Either way, exploring the issues underlying infidelity can offer an opportunity for you both to grow as individuals.

Contact us about relationship counseling and discover what answers are true for you.

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Five Reasons People Avoid Going to Therapy

Five Reasons People
Avoid Therapy

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Avoiding Getting Help?

Five reasons people avoid going to therapy

1. I’m nervous about going to therapy

A lot of people get anxious and nervous about going to therapy. Maybe they don’t know how it works or feels there must be something wrong with me/us if we need professional counseling. Some people feel like it’s “weak” to ask for professional help.
2. I/we should be able to fix things on our own
Feeling like you can fix things on your own or at least you should be able to fix things on your own. This it is another big reason people avoid going to therapy. When it comes to relationship issues, sometimes one person is asking their partner or spouse to go to therapy and the other person Continues to say no.
3. How can therapy help me/us?
A lot of people are not sure how therapy works or how it can actually help. They might hesitate because they don’t understand the process and how it can actually help them get to a better place personally or in the relationship.
4. I don’t believe in therapy
Some people just don’t believe in therapy. They don’t believe it can help or they don’t believe they need it. Sometimes it takes a person being in a very vulnerable and painful situation to be open to the idea of getting professional help.
5. I/we can’t afford it
Many people who need or want therapy feel they can’t afford it.  There are a few places, such as a local church that may offer free counseling and there are also many nonprofit counseling services that offer more affordable, lower fees. When you are looking for a highly trained professional most likely the fee will be higher and unfortunately not accessible for some people. However, there are local nonprofit counseling centers that can offer counseling at a more affordable rate.
There are many reasons people avoid therapy. Some people find their way to therapy after going through a very painful situation emotionally or in their relationship. For people that are open to the process, it can be very helpful with many personal and relationship challenges.
At Maplewood Counseling, we offer professional, confidential, and experienced counseling services in New Jersey for couples, families, and individuals. If you are in need of help, get in touch

 

 

 

 

Can Your Marriage Survive Infidelity?

Online Therapy NJ | Maplewood Counseling

Online Therapy NJ | Maplewood Counseling

Online Therapy NJ

Virtual Counseling for Couples, Individuals & Families
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Effective Online Therapy NJ

Are you looking for online therapy to help you with a relationship, personal, or family challenge? Online therapy is just as effecitve as in person and offers convenience and accessibility. We have several options to help you. 

Maplewood Marriage Counseling NJ

Online Couples Therapy

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Online Therapy for Individuals

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Online Marriage & Family Therapy

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The Many Benefits of Online Therapy NJ

All of our therapists offer online sessions. Here is Marina Fried talking about how we help with online therapy.

Online therapy or virtual counseling can help if you’re struggling with mental health issues or simply need someone to talk to. The process of online therapy involves communicating with a licensed therapist through digital platforms like video calls, phone calls, or messaging.

Get in Touch with Maplewood Counseling in NJ

There are numerous benefits to seeking therapy through online means, including:

Convenience:

One of the biggest advantages of online therapy is the convenience of doing sessions from home or work. as well as other places. You no longer need to take the time to drive to an office, which saves time and money as well. and money.

Accessibility:

Online therapy is much more accessible for coiples, individuals, and families who may be abke tiaccess face-to-face or in-person sessions due to living at a distance, mobility issues, as well as busy schedules. You can also find specialized therapists who may not be available in your local area.

Flexibility:

Online therapy offers flexibility in terms of scheduling. With traditional therapy, you may have to work around your therapist’s availability and may even have to take time off work for appointments. However, with online therapy, you can schedule sessions at a time that works best for you.

Comfort:

For some people, the thought of sitting in a therapist’s office can be daunting or uncomfortable. Online therapy allows you to receive therapy in a space where you feel most comfortable, which can make the experience less intimidating and more effective.

Issues online therapy in NJ can help with:

Some common issues that can be addressed through online therapy in NJ include depression, anxiety, stress, relationship problems, parenting, relationships, trauma, and grief. Additionally, online therapy can also assist with managing chronic health conditions or navigating major life transitions.

Does online therapy help with couples therapy or relationship coaching?

Yes, online therapy can be effective for couples therapy or relationship coaching. Through video conferencing, couples can have sessions together with a therapist and work on improving communication, resolving conflicts, and building a stronger relationship. Online therapy also offers the added benefit of being able to schedule sessions at a time that works for both partners, even if they are in different locations.

In addition, it is important to note that online therapy may not be the best option for individuals with severe mental health concerns or those in crisis situations. In these cases, it may be necessary to seek immediate in-person treatment. It is always best to consult with a licensed therapist to determine the most appropriate form of therapy for your specific needs.

Online therapy nj can help couples who need marriage counseling, couples therapy and help for relationship and family issues. We also help individuals looking for counseling to help with depression, anxiety, grief and loss, divorce or a break up, LGBT gay relationship and personal issues and more.

Online Therapy NJ | Virtual Sessions

Is this you?

  • You need online counseling since you cannot make sessions in person.
  • You are going through a rough time and need a therapist that can offer remote session so you can get help from home or work.
  • You’re struggling with relationship or family issues and need help asap.
  • You’re struggling with parenting issues or other family conflict.

We offer online therapy NJ session for couples and individuals who are in need of professional counseling and are not able to attend sessions in person for any reasons and want the convenience of accessing help from home or work.

We are licensed and skilled therapists who can help with personal and relationship problems. Common issues we can help with include:

  • Communication problems
  • Long term disconnect and unhappniness
  • Lack of intimacy
  • Arguments about children, step children
  • Infidelity and affairs
  • Resolving conflict more effectively
  • Family problems, in-law challenges, paenting issues
  • Anxiety, depresison, grief, self esteem, being a better patner or parent
  • Deciding whether you can work things out

If you are in need of online therapy, which we can offer flexibly by phone, video, FaceTime, Telehealth and other formats if you live in New Jersey and even if you are in NY since one of our therapists are licensed in New Jersey and New York. If you need help now, get in touch. We are here to help.

Get in Touch with Maplewood Counseling in NJ 

Need Online Therapy in NJ? Get in touch

CoronaVirus Fears | NJ Counseling

CoronaVirus Fears & Challenges

Online Therapy NJ

Help From Home or Work

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CoronaVirus Fears and Challenges

COVID-19 Crisis. We can reduce the cost of therapy for couples and individuals that need a lower fee during this difficult time. If you need a reduced fee, please let us know.

Doctors, nurses, hospital workers and other front line heros/workers please let us know if counseling would help. We thank you for your sacrifice and hard work during this pandemic and are here to help you in whatever ways we can.

Are you and loved ones coping with Coronavirus fears and challenges? Do you need help to manage the anxiety and stress on yourself, relationship or family dynamics?

Does this sound familiar?

  • You and possibly your spouse are trying to work from home and it is stressful
  • You are afraid of what will happen to your parents or grandparents during this time.
  • You have already been struggling in your relationship and now things are more challenging.
  • Your kids are now home making it very difficult to manage everything without outside help, especially since you are limiting play dates.
  • You are worried about not being able to work or make money if you are unable to get to work.
  • Your kids are home from college and it is stressing you out.
  • You are a college student struggling with anxiety and depression and this is making things worse for you.
  • You run a local business and people are not coming in and you are struggling with how to run your business and take care of employees.

Coronavirus fears and challenges are making things very difficult in so many ways.

Managing this new normal can be difficult for so many individual, couples and families. It is a stressful time for us all.

If you are in need of help we can provide phone, video and in-person sessions in New Jersey and phone and video sessions if you live in NY. This will pass and you just need to manage the stress until it does.

Call 973-902-8700 Maplewoood Counseling
 
 
 
Marriage in Trouble?

Need Help Letting Go?

Mindfulness Counseling NJ

Help Letting Go

Counseling Near Me

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The Benefit of Letting Go | Mindfulness Counseling

Letting go will of an inner struggle or conflict can eventually bring you peace and acceptance to your life. It is not easy for many people to let go since it usually means facing something painful. You sometimes have ti go into the fire to get to a better place.

Trying to let go of something painful? Does this sound familiar?

  • You been hanging on to resentment that is hurting you and others in your life.
  • You haven’t been able to resolve something in your life or relationship that causes you on going anger and pain
  • You’re having trouble letting go of a bad marriage or relationship?
  • You may have a strong need to control others and make things happen a certain way?
  • You have tremendous anxiety and resist things that you can’t control.

Some people will benefit greatly from learning to accept they need to let go of difficult circumstances with kindness and manage the emotions that arise.

It can be very frightening and anxiety producing to move forward. Letting go can also mean you have to allow yourself to process painful emotions, which is incredibly important. Why? Avoidance will only prolong the agony. What you resist will persist and causes you and sometimes others more and unnecessary suffering.

Learning to manage emotions with letting go is the first step. It means instead of hanging on to resentments, anger and negative circumstances to avoid what will surface, you start to see the value in gradually accepting Things, circumstances and people you cannot change.

If you need help letting go, find an experience, compassionate and understanding therapist that can help you move in this direction

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

In An Estranged Relationship?

 

In a Estranged Relationship?
Need Counseling NJ

Couples and Individual Therapy

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Coping with an Estranged Relationship?

What is an estranged relationship? Estranged implies a loss of affection, distance and instead of turning to your spouse or partner, turning away. If you have been feeling unhappy and disconnected for a long time, it can create a tremendous amount distance and even hostility.

Are you living under the same roof and feeling trapped? Feeling there are no good options for dealing with your disconnect? Most importantly, it is having a huge impact on everyone’s emotional and physical well-being?

Estranged Relationship | Still Living Together?

Are these your circumstances?

  • We sleep in separate rooms and have for a long time
  • We hardly speak to one another
  • You are estranged from a child, parent or other family member
  • Our children are fully aware of how bad things are
  • We argue and there are verbal insults and hostility
  • At times, we fight in front of our children
  • I don’t love my spouse anymore and even feel like I hate him/her
  • It’s so obvious to everyone we can’t stand each other anymore
  • We cannot afford to separate now
  • We stay together for the sake of the children

So, what should you do? At the very least, you can seek counseling to talk about and process your feelings about the disconnect. Understanding what you can and cannot do is important. Some relationships can be repaired eventually of both parties – whether with a spouse, child or other family member. And other situations may take working with you r own sadness and anger to process and finally come twosome type of acceptance if the situation so you can feel more peace.

An estranged relationship can cause a lot of pain and be challenges for both parties. Forgiveness takes one and you will do this for your own sake, but reconciliation takes two. You cannot reconcile and estranged relationship unless the other person is open. In the meantime, if you are struggling with this type of situation, it might help to talk to a professional.

Get in touch with us if you need to talk.

Contact Maplewoood Counseling