Maplewood Counseling

Relationship Resources

Here to Help

Get Started
Depression Affecting Your Relationship?

Depression Affecting Your Relationship?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Is Depression Impacting Your Relationship? 

Tips on What to Do

 

Get in Touch

Is Depression Impacting Your Relationship?

Not Sure What to Do?

On This Page

When Depression Impacts Your Relaitonship

Maplewood Counseling Therapist for Couples

Is Depression Impacting Your Relationship?

Living with depression can feel like navigating a storm, and when you’re in a relationship, it’s a storm that both partners must weather. It can cast a shadow over everything, making connection feel distant and leaving both of you feeling lost. You might wonder if your relationship can survive the strain. It’s a valid concern, and it’s one you don’t have to face alone.

Understanding how depression impacts a partnership is the first step toward finding a path forward. This article will explore the ways depression can show up in your relationship, affect communication and intimacy, and take an emotional toll. Most importantly, we will provide guidance on how to support each other and where to turn for help.

How Depression Impacts a Relationship

Depression isn’t just a feeling of sadness; it’s a persistent mental health condition that can change how a person thinks, feels, and behaves. When one or both partners are dealing with depression, the entire dynamic of the relationship can shift. The once easy and joyful connection can become strained, filled with misunderstanding and frustration.

It’s common for the partner without depression to feel helpless, confused, or even resentful. They may misinterpret their partner’s withdrawal as a lack of love or interest. Meanwhile, the partner with depression is often wrestling with feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and overwhelming fatigue, making it difficult to engage in the relationship as they once did. Recognizing these challenges is crucial for building empathy and finding a way to move forward together.

Common Signs in Your Partnership

Depression manifests differently for everyone, but there are common signs you might notice within your relationship. Seeing these signs is not about placing blame; it’s about understanding what’s happening so you can address it with compassion.

  • Emotional Distance: One partner may seem withdrawn, distant, or emotionally unavailable. They might stop sharing their feelings or seem uninterested in yours.
  • Increased Irritability: Small disagreements can quickly escalate into major fights. The partner with depression may have a shorter fuse or seem constantly on edge.
  • Loss of Interest in Shared Activities: Hobbies and activities you once enjoyed together may fall by the wayside. The desire to go out, see friends, or even spend quality time at home can diminish.
  • Changes in Physical Intimacy: A decreased libido is a common symptom of depression. This can lead to a lack of physical affection and intimacy, creating further distance between partners.
  • Shift in Responsibilities: The non-depressed partner might find themselves taking on more household chores, emotional labor, and decision-making, which can lead to burnout and resentment.

If these signs feel familiar, know that you are not alone. Many couples face these exact struggles. The key is to recognize them not as signs of a failing relationship, but as symptoms of an illness that requires care and attention.

The Toll on Communication and Intimacy

At the heart of any strong partnership are communication and intimacy. Depression can directly undermine both, creating a cycle of disconnection that is difficult to break.

Communication Breakdown

Healthy communication requires energy, focus, and emotional vulnerability—all of which depression can deplete. A partner with depression may struggle to articulate their feelings, often because they are overwhelmed or don’t understand them themselves. This can lead to silence and withdrawal.

Conversely, they might express their pain through anger, criticism, or negativity, which can feel like a personal attack to the other partner. The non-depressed partner may start walking on eggshells, avoiding certain topics to prevent an argument or an emotional shutdown. This breakdown in open, honest dialogue can leave both individuals feeling profoundly lonely within the relationship.

Fading Intimacy

Intimacy is more than just physical; it’s the emotional closeness, the shared jokes, the quiet moments of understanding. Depression can create a wall that blocks this connection. The person experiencing depression might feel unworthy of love or affection, pushing their partner away. Their self-esteem may be so low that they can’t accept or reciprocate loving gestures.

For the other partner, repeated attempts to connect that are met with rejection or indifference can be deeply hurtful. Over time, they may stop trying, fearing more pain. This erosion of both physical and emotional intimacy can be one of the most painful consequences of depression in a relationship.

How to Support Each Other and Move Forward

When depression enters a relationship, it can feel like an unwelcome third party. But it doesn’t have to be the end of your story. With patience, empathy, and the right support, you can learn to navigate this challenge together and even strengthen your bond.

Practice Open and Compassionate Communication

It’s essential to create a safe space to talk about what’s happening. Instead of making accusations, use “I” statements to express your feelings. For example, instead of saying “You never want to do anything with me anymore,” try “I feel lonely and miss spending time with you.” This approach is less likely to trigger defensiveness and opens the door for a more honest conversation. Listen without judgment and validate each other’s feelings, even if you don’t fully understand them.

Educate Yourselves About Depression

Understanding depression as a medical condition can help depersonalize its effects. Read books, look at reliable online resources, and learn about the symptoms and treatments. This knowledge can foster empathy and reduce blame. When the non-depressed partner understands that irritability or withdrawal is a symptom, not a personal failing, it becomes easier to respond with compassion instead of anger.

Support, Don’t Fix

If your partner has depression, it’s natural to want to fix the problem. However, your role is not to be their therapist. Your role is to be their supportive partner. Encourage them to seek professional help, and offer to assist them in finding a therapist or going to appointments. Celebrate small victories, like getting out of bed on a tough day or completing a small task. Your unwavering support can make a world of difference.

Prioritize Self-Care

Supporting a partner with depression can be emotionally draining. It is vital that the non-depressed partner prioritizes their own well-being. Make time for your hobbies, connect with friends, and consider seeking your own therapist. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s necessary for you to continue being a supportive partner.

You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone

Dealing with depression in a relationship is a significant challenge, and it’s okay to ask for help. Professional counseling can provide you with the tools and guidance to navigate this difficult time. A therapist can help the partner with depression manage their symptoms while also helping both of you improve communication, rebuild intimacy, and develop healthy coping strategies as a couple.

At Maplewood Counseling, we provide a safe, non-judgmental space for couples to transform their challenges into opportunities for growth. Our experienced therapists understand the complex interplay between depression and relationships and are here to guide you with empathy and expertise.

If you recognize your relationship in this article, please know that hope and healing are possible. Taking the first step can be the hardest part, but it leads to a path of reconnection and understanding.

Ready to strengthen your partnership and navigate these challenges together? Reach out to Maplewood Counseling today to schedule a consultation. We are here to help you reignite your bond and build a healthier, more connected future.

Get in Touch
 

Depression Guide and Treatment

 

Find us on Marriage.com

Parenting Counseling for Parents of Struggling Children

Parenting Counseling for Parents of Struggling Children

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Parenting Counseling for Parents of Struggling Children

 

At Maplewood Counseling, we provide inclusive care for people of all races, cultures, and backgrounds, including interfaith, interracial, BIPOC, LGBTQIA+, and blended families. Our therapists bring lived experiences and specialized training to create a safe, affirming space for all.

Parenting Counseling for Parents of Struggling Children

Guidance for Parents of a Struggling Child

Watching your child struggle is one of the most painful experiences a parent can face. You may feel helpless, sad, or even frustrated, wondering how to best support them. Whether your child is young or an adult, their challenges can deeply affect your own well-being and the entire family dynamic.

At Maplewood Counseling, we understand the heavy emotional toll this takes. You don’t have to carry this burden alone. We provide a supportive, confidential space for you to process your feelings, learn effective coping strategies, and find constructive ways to help both your child and yourself.

Navigating Your Child’s Challenges Together

It’s common to feel lost when your child is dealing with issues that seem beyond your control. Perhaps you’ve tried offering advice, only to feel pushed away, or you find yourself in conflict with your spouse about the best way to handle the situation. Counseling can provide clarity and a path forward.

We support parents navigating a wide range of concerns, including:

  • Mental Health Issues: Your child may be dealing with anxiety, depression, OCD, or a more severe diagnosis. We can help you understand their condition and learn how to provide effective support without sacrificing your own mental health.
  • Behavioral Problems: Is your younger child’s behavior causing constant stress at home and school? We can help you develop strategies to manage difficult behaviors and restore peace to your family.
  • Difficult Relationships: It can be hard when you disapprove of your child’s partner or lifestyle choices. We help you navigate these sensitive dynamics to reduce family tension and maintain your connection.
  • Sexuality and Gender Identity: If your child has come out as LGBTQ+ and you’re struggling to understand or accept it, we offer a non-judgmental space to explore your feelings and learn how to be a supportive ally.
  • Dependency and “Failure to Launch”: Are you worried about an adult child who is struggling to become independent? We can help you set healthy boundaries and encourage their growth without enabling dependency.
  • Chronic Illness or Injury: Acting as a caregiver for a child with a serious illness is physically and emotionally exhausting. We provide the support you need to cope with the stress and find balance.

Your Feelings Are Valid

Being the parent of a struggling child can trigger a complex mix of emotions—from profound sadness and powerlessness to anger and disappointment. These feelings are normal. Our approach focuses on helping you manage your own emotional reactions first. When you feel more centered and equipped, you are in a much stronger position to help your child effectively.

We help you develop the tools to cope, communicate better, and create a healthier environment for everyone in the family.

You Deserve Support, Too

Your journey as a parent matters. Taking the step to seek counseling is an act of strength that benefits both you and your child. Let us help you find your footing again.

Book Your Session

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Q: Is this counseling for my child or for me?
A: This service is specifically for parents. While your child may have their own therapist, our parenting counseling focuses on providing you with the support, strategies, and emotional outlet you need to navigate this difficult time.

Q: My child is an adult. Can you still help?
A: Absolutely. The challenges of parenting don’t end when a child turns 18. We have extensive experience helping parents of adult children who are struggling with mental health, dependency, career challenges, and more.

Q: What if my spouse and I disagree on how to handle our child’s issues?
A: This is a very common source of conflict. We can work with you as a couple to find common ground, improve your communication, and develop a unified parenting strategy that you both feel good about.

Q: My child refuses to get help. How can I make a difference?
A: While you can’t force your child to seek therapy, you can change your own approach and reactions. Individual counseling can empower you to set healthier boundaries and interact in ways that may positively influence your child’s willingness to accept help.

Q: Do you offer virtual appointments?
A: Yes. We offer secure and confidential virtual sessions for parents throughout New Jersey. This allows you to access support conveniently from your home or office, ensuring you can get the help you need without added stress.

Getting started is easy. Contact us to schedule an initial session, and we’ll work with you to help as you parent a child going through challenges.

Get Care Now

Helpful Resources

 

On the Brink of Divorce?

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

On the Brink of Divorce

Marriage & Discernment Counseling

Essex County NJ

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

Marriage on the Brink of Divorce ?

Is your relationship on the brink of divorce? Are you at a serious point and know something has to give. Do you wonder if you can break out of these negative patterns or if you need to split up? Certainly, you know you need to make a change – one way or the other.

If you’re at this point, it makes sense to sit down with a professional before you make matters worse.   Marriage counseling is a good option when both people are open and willing to work on the relationship. In contrast, discernment counseling is an option for couples stuck in bad place and not sure they are committed to working on the marriage. Both parties may not be open and willing to work on the marriage or feel hopeless, so that’s what discernment counseling can help with. It helps a couple sort through issues in a safe place so you can make some decisions.

On the Brink of Divorce

You’re not alone if you’ve had trouble turning things around on your own. Possibly you waited too long before getting help even tough your partner asked repeatedly to go to couples therapy. You may not have been ready at that time. Maybe you tried therapy once or twice before – it might have helped a little or not at all.   Regardless, your both ready to take the next step.

Questions and Concerns about Divorce

  • How will it affect the kids
  • How will it affect our lifestyle and finances
  • I’m scared of being alone and fear the end of the marriage
  • I still love my spouse and don’t want a divorce
  • I don’t love my spouse anymore (or maybe you never really did)
  • I don’t love my partner anymore and wonder if I should stay for the sake of the kids

Stay Together or Separate?

Is it at all possible to feel good about each other again? Is it possible to get back to a good place again? Maybe there has been too much damage, neglect, abuse over time. If the disconnect has gone on too long or one spouse does not want to work on the relationship anymore, it is important to see what to do at this point.

A good therapist can make it safe enough for both people to really be open and honest discussion about the next step. If you need help, get in touch.

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

Understanding Relationship Deal Breakers for All Couples

Understanding Relationship Deal Breakers for All Couples

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

What Are Relationship Deal Breakers for All Couples

 

Identifying and Addressing Relationship Deal Breakers

by Debra Feinberg LCSW ( Reviewer)

What Are Relationship Deal Breakers for Couples?

Understanding Relationship Deal Breakers for All Couples

 

Every close relationship comes with its share of ups and downs. Navigating disagreements and difficult times is a shared human experience, no matter who you are or whom you love. Yet some challenges can go beyond ordinary conflict and become true deal breakers—issues that may signal a partnership is unable to move forward in a healthy way. Understanding what these look like is the first step toward building a stronger, more connected relationship.

If certain fundamental concerns are left unaddressed, they can create distance that feels impossible to bridge. Recognizing these signs is not about blame, but about gaining clarity on what might need to change to help everyone involved thrive.

Core Issues That Can End a Relationship

Some situations make it especially challenging for a relationship to heal or improve. These concerns often require support beyond couples or relationship therapy and may be considered deal breakers if not handled with care and respect for all individuals.

Untreated Mental Health Conditions

When someone in a relationship is living with an untreated mental health condition—such as depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or OCD—it affects both their own wellbeing and the health of the partnership. You might notice a loved one is struggling, yet feel unsure how to bring it up. No one wants to be singled out or feel like “the problem.” But without professional support, it’s difficult to make meaningful progress as a couple. Encouraging each other to seek help in a caring, non-judgmental way is often a vital first step.

Aggressive or Unsafe Behaviors

A safe partnership is essential for honest communication and trust. When any form of physical aggression or domestic violence is present, couples therapy is not the solution. Safety must come first: this is a serious legal and personal matter, not just a relational challenge. A person engaging in unsafe behavior needs specialized help to address those actions. No relationship can grow in an environment where anyone feels endangered.

Similarly, repeated patterns of infidelity, chronic online cheating, or other sexual boundary violations undermine trust at the foundation of every relationship. Addressing these patterns is essential if healing is to take place.

When One Person Has Already Left Emotionally

Relationships sometimes reach a point where one partner, regardless of their gender or role, is completely done. For some, the original bond may not have included love or the relationship began for reasons such as external pressure or life circumstances. Others might find themselves emotionally checked out and participating in counseling to ease feelings of guilt about ending things. If both individuals are not invested in making the relationship work, it cannot be forced. Sometimes the most compassionate option is to allow each person space to find fulfillment, whether together or apart.

Common Challenges That Erode Connection

In addition to these core deal breakers, many ongoing issues can gradually wear down a relationship. Recognizing these patterns early gives everyone the best chance to address them and build a partnership that allows each person to flourish.

Communication and Conflict

  • Lack of Communication: When thoughts, feelings, and needs can’t be expressed openly, misunderstandings and resentment may take root.
  • Poor Conflict Resolution: Disagreements are normal, but how they’re handled matters. If conflicts go unresolved, frustration can grow. Learning to really listen and seek solutions that honor both people is key.
  • Disrespect: Every individual deserves to have their boundaries, opinions, and feelings respected. Constant criticism or contempt can sap the life out of any partnership.
  • Lack of Compromise: No two people will agree on everything. Healthy relationships thrive on a willingness to find common ground and show flexibility.

Trust and Effort

  • Lack of Trust: Trust is essential to emotional safety. When it’s missing, insecurity and uncertainty set in. Trust-building is an ongoing, mutual process.
  • Infidelity: Any breach of agreed-upon relationship boundaries, physical or emotional, is a challenge that calls for accountability and healing.
  • Lack of Effort: Relationships require shared commitment. If one person carries all the emotional labor while another disengages, it can cause deep exhaustion and imbalance.
  • Neglect: Feeling unseen or unimportant can create loneliness even within a relationship. Making time for each other matters.

Incompatibility and Control

  • Control Issues: No one should feel monitored or have their choices dictated by another. Healthy autonomy and mutual trust give everyone space to be themselves.
  • Financial Problems: Disagreements over finances are common. Open dialogue and collaborative planning help keep money from becoming a wedge between partners.
  • Incompatibility: Sometimes, despite everyone’s best intentions and effort, values, life goals, or personalities diverge. Accepting fundamental differences may be the healthiest choice for everyone involved.

 

If you recognize any of these challenges in your relationship, please know you are not alone. Many people face similar issues, and it’s never a sign of weakness to reach out for support. When you’re ready, our experienced therapists can offer a safe, affirming space to discuss your unique situation and explore practical steps forward.

Looking for Support?

If you are struggling with any of these relationship challenges, consider reaching out for guidance. We are here to listen, understand, and work with you—regardless of background, identity, or relationship structure.

Contact us today to start a conversation.

Book Your Session

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

 

Can a relationship survive a deal breaker?

It depends on the deal breaker and the willingness of both partners to do the work. Issues like untreated mental health or past infidelity can be overcome if the person responsible takes accountability, seeks help, and commits to change. However, issues like a lack of love or ongoing disrespect are much harder to resolve.

What if my partner refuses to get help for their issues?

This is a very difficult position to be in. You cannot force someone to change. Your responsibility is to your own well-being. It may be helpful to seek individual counseling to figure out your own boundaries and decide what you are and are not willing to live with.

How do I know if it’s a rough patch or a real deal breaker?

A rough patch is usually temporary and situational (e.g., stress from a new job or a new baby). A deal breaker is a fundamental, ongoing issue that violates your core needs for safety, respect, or trust. If the same major problem keeps recurring without resolution, it may be a deal breaker.

Ready to Take the Next Step Toward a Healthier Relationship?

If you’re facing difficult crossroads or simply want to strengthen your partnership, our experienced therapists are here to help. Reach out for a confidential conversation or schedule a consultation with us today. Together, we can work toward a more fulfilling and connected future.

Get Care Now

Helpful Resources

 

Simple, Loving Attention

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

Relationship Need Attention?

Feeling Neglected & Unhappy?

Couples Counseling NJ

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

Attention is the Key to a Connected Relationship

Simple, loving attention is the very thing that most people need in their relationship. So, what makes it so difficult for most people to give this to their spouse or partner?

What Makes it Difficult

Habit and conditioning get in the way of giving your partner positive attention. As a result, most men and women sincerely struggle with knowing how to do this. Maybe something about this does not feel right or “normal”.  Also,  it’s possible that fear about other issues get in the way, such as trying to provide for your family.   Some people sincerely think they’re doing their job if they’re making money. That’s what they learned growing up, and that’s the way they think it supposed to be done.

As a result, you may be working like crazy and spending all of your time trying to provide for your family. The problem is, you are not paying enough attention to your spouse and family.  The result is unhappiness all the way around.

 What (You and) Your Partner Really Needs

Your partner needs your attention. It’s what will help both of you feel closer and more connected. Attention by way of appreciation, noticing the smallest things and expressing your gratitude.

How you both benefit from this type of attention and appreciation:

When you notice your wife or husband had a hard day, whether at home or work. When you actually listen to your partner about his or her day…the good and the bad. Really listening and being there. Maybe responding with:

“I’m sorry you had a bad day at work. Is there anything I can do to help? I really appreciate how hard you work and everything you do for us.  I know it’s not always easy. ”  If you are paying attention and aware enough, notice a what your partner has done around the house, new blouse, haircut or long commute. Also, consciously paying your partner a complement or commenting on things that are not easy. It also takes noticing if your partner is struggling and conveying that “I am here, how can I help? “.

If you are in a pattern of feeling neglected in alone, learning to be more attentive will help. It’s not easy to change patterns, progress takes steady, hard work.  But, if you can move in this direction, you will have much more happy, healthy and satisfying relationship.

If you need help with positive attention and your relationship, get in touch

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

How Attention Helps Us To Succeed

Fighting About Money

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

Fighting About Money

NJ Relationship Counseling
Couples Therapy

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

Fighting About Money in Your Relationship?

Are you struggling in your marriage or relationship with financial issues? Do you have conflict about your different approaches to saving and spending? Maybe your arguments have been leading nowhere?

A lot of couples argue about money.  For that reason, you both may feel angry and frustrated. When ongoing issues are not resolved, it can create more and more distance over time.  So what can you do?

Couples counseling can help you both move away from bickering and resolve you repeated arguments about money.

When You Feel Stuck Fighting About Money

Does this sound familiar?

one of you was a saver and the other is a spender.

there is a fear regarding financial security that isn’t fully understood and discussed.

one of you needs a lot of control to manage your anxiety and fear of financial insecurity.

you can’t stand that you can’t count on your spouse or partner in this way

you end up feeling alone and sad

Better ways to discuss, listen and understand

Issues regarding money that cause the most problems in relationships is having a very different approach and feelings about security. Possibly, one of you grew up in a family situation where money was really tight and there was obvious and ongoing financial struggle. So, if you went through some difficult experiences growing up, you may fear that same type of financial deprivation. As a result, you may be very controlling about money, which causes more problems.

In contrast, you may have grown up in a situation where your parents were not responsible with finances, or struggled with job loss, made irresponsible choices or dealt with other circumstances that were very challenging. Maybe, your roles models never valued money and did not teach you how to mange finances, create a budget or save money.

As a result, it’s important to really understand what’s at the heart of your arguments regarding money. In addition, communicating from this place of vulnerability can help both of you understand and work together more on issues related to finances.

If you keep getting stuck in this place and need help, get in touch

 

Contact Maplewoood Counseling