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Help with a Difficult Time

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Help with a Difficult Time

You Don't Have to Do it Alone
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Help with a Difficult Time When Things are Painful

We all go through periods in our lives that can be painful and difficult.

Does this sound familiar?

  • You are going through treatment for cancer or another serious medical illness
  • You are grieving the deathof a loved one and having a very hard time coping with the loss
  • You are going through a painful and/or bitter divorce.
  • You teenager or adult child is really struggling and you are not sure how to help them
  • You are very unhappy in your marriage or relationship
  • You’ve been struggling with depression or anxiety
  • You or a loved one is dealing with serious mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, bipolar or schizophrenia
  • You are struggling with fear over finances, health issues, issues related to aging and feel alone

Compassion and Help with a Difficult Time

We all have or will have to face some really painful challenges at one time or another in our lives. Many of us (therapists included) that have experienced a great deal of suffering can understand how hard it is to really get through.

Compassion and understanding can connect us all during these times. Knowing we are not alone in our suffering – that many others out there are experiencing deep suffering, can be healing.

Finding that connection and support from others going through that shared experience can help you get through difficult times. Also finding help via therapy, friends and family, support or therapy groups, meditation, and/or faith can help you get through difficult times.

Compassion and Support

Hoping you can connect with the shared experience and find support out there to help you. We all need to help one another through difficult times.

Blaming Others for Your Problems

Depression, Grief, Relationships

Do You Blame Others Often?

Not Sure Why?
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The Blame Game

We all have a tendency to blame others for our problems in one way or another. Or, we blame ourselves.

Spiritual leader Pema Chodren discusses how we all have a tendency to blame others for our problems – or ourselves for our pain or suffering. We all get triggered by have certain things – without our awareness. You know how it is when you or someone you know goes from 0 to 60 when certain things happen. It’s auto pilot and you don’t even know what happened or what was triggered, but you’re sure they other person has done something to cause you to feel the way you do. It’s their fault you feel the way you do. It really, really feels like they did something to you to completely justify your response. They did it to you and it’s their fault you are in pain or suffering.

Some of us have a tendency to blame ourselves when certain things go wrong. When your child disappoints you in one way or another, “I’m not a good mother” or when your relationship is really struggling or you’re going through a divorce – “I’m worthless, inadequate, a failure”.

When it comes to blaming ourselves or others, she talks about the importance of understanding and recognizing the difference between the trigger and the source of whatever unpleasant emotion was triggered. She describes the source for all of us – seeds in our unconscious based on conditioning. She has them, I have them, we all have them.

Even though it somehow feels that blaming others for your problems will help you in some way, it actually makes things worse. The more your “strengthen” the habit, the tendency to blame when you’ve been triggered, the more you will do it and the worse you will feel.

You can work on changing the way you blame others or yourself. It can slowly happen over time in a way that helps relieve your suffering, rather than make things worse for you and others around you.

Understanding your triggers will help you do a better job of managing how you feel and not blame others.

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Getting Through Hard Times

Anxiety, Depression, Gay Issues, Grief, Relationships

Going Through Hard Times

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Going through hard times?

Does this sound familiar?

You’re experiencing deep sadness over the way your life is going
You’re feeling very sad and alone
You’re trying to find strength and hope
You’re feeling lost and want help getting out of a dark time in your life

All you have to do is turn on the news to hear about all the tragic events going on out there in the world and sometimes tragedy hits close to home. Death of a loved one, serious and life threatening health issues, financial hardship or loss dealing with a painful and life altering divorce.

Life certainly has a way of challenging us all in so many ways and no one should have to go through it alone.

Is this you?

You recently lost a loved one to illness or sudden death
You’re life has been turned upside down by divorce
You’re teenager or young adult child is struggling
You’re adult child is having a difficult time in their life
You’re (or a loved one) are coping with cancer or serious illness
You’re struggling with aging, depression, isolation and health issues

Whatever the challenge, so many of us end up needing help getting through hard times. The support of family and friends (and for some faith and spirituality) can help in so many ways, but for some people, getting through hard times is much more difficult. You don’t have to go through it alone.

If you need help getting through hard times, therapy and support groups can help. If you live in Essex County NJ, feel free to contact us at 973-793-1000 and let us know how we can help.

Get in Touch with Maplewood Counseling in NJ

Making Divorce Easier

Grief, Relationships

Making Divorce Easier

Avoiding a Nasty, Bitter Split
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Making Divorce Easier

Many therapists see a lot of angry, sad and depressed men and women going through a divorce. And what we know is a bitter, nasty divorce hurts everyone.  There are no “winners”.

Does this sound familiar?

  • You can’t stand the fact that your ex is going to get so much of your hard earned money.
  • You feel like she or he is trying to destroy you financially.
  • You are so angry and don’t know how to control the rage.
  • You’re on the receiving end of a soon to be ex who has done things that are shocking and extremely upsetting.
  • You’re struggling with how this nastiness and hostility is affecting your child or children.
  • You think your soon to be ex views you as trying to destroy them – and you’re not.

Making divorce easier  – please help make that happen

It takes both to make it happen.  If you are not in a place you can forgive your ex and it is causing you to act in nasty ways, try reaching out to a therapist or other mental health professional.  Get some help processing and making sense of your rage and anger. Fighting is so costly financially and emotionally. When you hurt the parent and making it harder on him or her, you inevitably hurt the child. For the sake of your family, your own mental, physical and financial health.

See what it takes to achieve making divorce easier.   If you have children, you will be in each other’s lives forever. I have seen many people go through bitter, nasty divorces only to years later feel more peace after they’ve had time. I hope you can get to that peaceful place much sooner.  Reach out for help – it may mean turning things around much sooner than 5 or 10 yrs down the road.

Get in Touch with Maplewood Counseling in NJ

Are You Feeling Overwhelmed?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Feeling Overwhelmed?

Need to Talk?
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Feeling overwhelmed and not sure what to do?

Do you wake up in the morning and have trouble facing the day? Do you go to bed at night feeling exhausted and depressed? Is it hard to find the time to get everything done at home and/or work? Feeling like you’re a disappointment to your family or employer? You are not alone.

Feeling Isolated and Alone?

Feeling overwhelmed at work? Does this sound familiar?

  • I feel overworked and unappreciated
  • I have a difficult and demanding boss
  • My coworkers stress me out
  • I have trouble getting along with my boss or coworkers
  • I feel trapped and stuck

Feeling overwhelmed at home? Does this sound familiar?

  • I have no time for myself
  • My job at home is thankless and demanding
  • I can’t keep up with the kids activities and taking care of everything else
  • My spouse or partner is not supportive and does not understand what I go through
  • I have no life other than taking care of others and household responsibilities
  • I feel isolated, alone and depressed

Feeling overwhelmed at school or college? Does this sound familiar?

  • I am so stressed about grades
  • I am feeling anxious and/or depressed
  • I don’t know what to do about how overwhelmed I feel
  • I feel alone
  • I am stressed about a relationship

If you’re struggling and feeling overwhelmed, talking to a professional may help you. If you’re a student, talking to a school counselor or college counseling service may be very helpful. Many people feel talking to a therapist, other mental health professional or joining a support or therapy group is helpful. Feeling more connected, heard, supported and validated can help you process what you are going through.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, take that important step and reach out for help.

Get in Touch with Maplewood Counseling in NJ