Why Does Infidelity Happen?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

INFIDELITY THERAPY NEAR ME NJ

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Why Does Infidelity Happen?

Understanding and dealing with infidelity

Infidelity is common in today’s society, and yet, it’s a taboo that has existed for centuries. Relationships and marriages suffer when infidelity occurs. The deceived partner generally feels hurt and lost, or perhaps angry and betrayed. The partner having the affair might feel guilty and terrible about the harm and hurt feelings they’ve caused.

It’s a fact that many people have been exposed to affairs. Perhaps they experienced it as a child, seeing affairs occur in their parent’s marriage. Or, perhaps they found out about friends or relatives involved in affairs. Or, maybe they took part in an affair themselves. Then, there’s the flip side, being the one whose partner had an affair.

So…why do people cheat?

Esther Perel, a psychotherapist, who is a leading expert on relationship counseling, raises meaningful questions in her TED Talk video entitled “Rethinking Infidelity…a talk for anyone who has ever loved.”

The questions she raises dig deep into the reasons that affairs occur. Her talk also offers hope for those who want to restore their relationship after an affair. Of course, the reasons for an affair can vary from couple to couple. However, infidelity often shares common denominators.

Questions that help provide guidance during counseling

A question for both partners of a couple to answer:

Does the affair have to be the end of your relationship?

Questions for the partner who had the affair:

What made you want to have an affair? Was it for the sex? Or was it for the attention, the desire to feel special or important?
Did you experience a loss prior to having the affair—for example the loss of a parent, a friend, a career, or bad news from a doctor?
Were you happy with your partner but looking for a deeper emotional connection, for novelty, autonomy or sexual intensity?
Was your marriage already dying and the affair was simply the final straw?
Did the secretive relationship make you feel more alive? Were you attracted because it was a taboo, something you shouldn’t do?
Were you trying to find a different aspect of yourself, perhaps be a different or better version of yourself in a new relationship?
Are you sorry that having an affair hurt your partner?

For the partner deceived by the affair:

Did discovering the affair make you doubt yourself? Did you wonder who you were and if you had value?
Could you no longer trust your partner? Did you start distrusting other people in general?
Were you upset because you thought you had a happy relationship and didn’t understand why your partner would stray?
Do you wonder what your partner found through the affair that they believed they couldn’t experience with you?
Did you feel like you were no longer special—you weren’t “the one” anymore?
After discovering the affair, did you feel a loss of identity, like you didn’t know who you were?
Did you feel your partner lied to you, “you’re crazy, nothing is happening” and feel gaslighting was making you doubt yourself and your gut?
Even though you never had an affair, did you betray your partner in other ways? Through condemnation, criticism, neglect, indifference or perhaps even violence?

Find out how relationship counseling can help

With any difficulty that arises in life, it’s possible to emerge from it with a broader perspective and a deeper understanding. Finding ways to rediscover joy and meaning in life is vital for everyone.

Whether or not you stay together and recreate your relationship is a decision that you as a couple will make. Either way, exploring the issues underlying infidelity can offer an opportunity for you both to grow as individuals.

Five Reasons People Avoid Going to Therapy

Depression, Grief, Relationships, Therapist

Five Reasons People
Avoid Therapy

Avoiding Getting Help?

Five reasons people avoid going to therapy

1. I’m nervous about going to therapy

A lot of people get anxious and nervous about going to therapy. Maybe they don’t know how it works or feels there must be something wrong with me/us if we need professional counseling. Some people feel like it’s “weak” to ask for professional help.

2. I/we should be able to fix things on our own

Feeling like you can fix things on your own or at least you should be able to fix things on your own. This it is another big reason people avoid going to therapy. When it comes to relationship issues, sometimes one person is asking their partner or spouse to go to therapy and the other person Continues to say no.

3. How can therapy help me/us?

A lot of people are not sure how therapy works or how it can actually help. They might hesitate because they don’t understand the process and how it can actually help them get to a better place personally or in the relationship.

4. I don’t believe in therapy

Some people just don’t believe in therapy. They don’t believe it can help or they don’t believe they need it. Sometimes it takes a person being in a very vulnerable and painful situation to be open to the idea of getting professional help.

5. I/we can’t afford it

Many people who need or want therapy feel they can’t afford it. There are a few places, such as a local church that may offer free counseling and there are also many nonprofit counseling services that offer more affordable, lower fees. When you are looking for a highly trained professional most likely the fee will be higher and unfortunately not accessible for some people. However, there are local nonprofit counseling centers that can offer counseling at a more affordable rate.

There are many reasons people avoid therapy. Some people find their way to therapy after going through a very painful situation emotionally or in their relationship. For people that are open to the process, it can be very helpful with many personal and relationship challenges.

At Maplewood Counseling, we offer professional, confidential, and experienced counseling services in New Jersey for couples, families, and individuals. If you are in need of help, get in touch

Can Your Marriage Survive Infidelity?

Feel Misunderstood?

Relationships

Want To Feel Understood?

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When you feel understood

How good does it feel when someone gets you? When someone truly listens and understands you and is there for you emotionally? How wonderful does it feel when someone responds to you rather than reacts? How awful does it feel that the person you’re sharing a home with, a bed with cannot do that for you?

Feeling understood and seen is where a deeper connection starts. It also were disconnect and unhappiness starts – if you repeatedly feel misunderstood and not seen.

In some cases a spouse or partner truly does not understand what you’re upset about or what you need. But there is a difference between trying to fix something and the intention of trying to help, than being dismissive, eye rolling out of frustration. Some people don’t know how to respond in a compassionate way and and respond. It will help your spouse or partner hear “I see you are (angry, sad, frutrated, etc…) and I understand (or want to understand) – I am sorry you feel that way…what do you need from me (or how can I help?) ”

Want to get better at respnding in more compassionate and positive ways? Want to repair your fights in more effective ways? Get in touch.

Couples Therapy

Maplewood Counseling provides relationship counseling for couples who are struggling with communication problems, an affair, a crisis or other issues. Marriage counseling and couples therapy is provided to help for all types couples with relationship issues.

Relationships & Families

Get relationship help for communication problems, affairs and infidelity, deciding to stay or leave your marriage or relationship, family and parenting relationships and more. We specialize in helping couples with marital, family and relationship counseling.

Making Decisions

Are you unhappy in your marriage? Need help with your relationship and want to come in alone to talk? Partner or spouse won’t come with you? Struggling to make some decisions to deal with painful relationship, parenting, step, blended or other family problems?

Where We’re Located

In an Unhappy Marriage?

Relationships

Unhappy Marriage?

Leave or Stay?

Depressed About an Unhappy Marriage?

Are you afraid to leave an unhappy marriage? Are you staying for the kids or for other reasons? Are you trying to figure out what to do?

Many couples struggle in an unhappy marriage or relationship. A new baby definitely complicates your relationship and has a certain set of challenges. Some couples can work through these difficulties and other feel a new baby has only brought out the worst in the relationship and sometimes feelings change. And you’re not sure you can get your feelings back.

Having kids can also cause a lot of problems in a relationship and also make it more challenging to leave or divorce. Many people feel it can hurt their children if they get divorced and hurt their financial situation. Is staying always best for the kids? Maybe not.

What happens to some relationships after a child or children enter the picture is the relationship is put on the back burner. To feel like you are not a priority anymore in your marriage for an extended period of time can lead to a pretty big disconnect and unhappiness.

The truth is some people are raised by a parent that totally focuses on the children. Either it is a single parent household or someone that was conditioned to give the child or children most of the attention. It can feel wrong to do it any other way and sometimes frustrating to have your spouse want more attention. The result? The relationship suffers and over time a couple can get very disconnected. One person needing and wanting more attention, and the other not understanding why they just can’t put the children first. This can be a complicated issue.

Are you in an unhappy marriage and wonder what to do? Afraid to leave and can’t imagine staying? We are here to help if you are wondering what to do about an unhappy marriage.

Indian Marriage Counseling in NJ: Balancing Culture & Connection

Relationships

NJ Indian Marriage Counseling: Bridging Tradition and Connection

Are you and your partner looking for support with relationship challenges—especially those shaped by Indian, South Asian, or Southeast Asian cultures? Many couples and individuals in New Jersey share similar experiences. Whether you’re navigating the expectations of close-knit families, balancing generational traditions with modern values, or facing unique pressures in your partnership, you do not have to do this alone.

At Maplewood Counseling, we understand the complexities that come with honoring heritage while also nurturing your own happiness. Our counseling services offer a safe, inclusive, and culturally respectful space for talking through the issues that matter most to you. Here, you will be seen and heard, without feeling the need to explain your background or values.

Why Seek Indian or Southeast Asian Marriage Counseling?

Every relationship faces challenges, but couples and families from Indian, South Asian, and Southeast Asian backgrounds often encounter pressures that can be difficult to discuss outside their community. It’s also important to understand that “Southeast Asian” is a broad term that includes communities such as Thai, Vietnamese, Indonesian, Filipino, and Malaysian, each with unique traditions and experiences. While using broader terms can mean fewer specific resources, many of the underlying issues—such as balancing tradition and individuality or managing family roles—are widely shared.

Some common concerns we help with include:

Family Expectations & In-laws: Difficulty setting boundaries with extended family, or feeling pressure to meet expectations and customs.

Communication Differences: Struggling to express feelings or needs because your partner comes from a different cultural or family background.

Community Perception (“Log Kya Kahenge”): Stress caused by feeling judged or needing to maintain a “perfect” image in the community, which can lead to hiding struggles or ignoring problems.

Arranged or Family-Introduced Partnerships: Uncertainty about building closeness and trust when your relationship began through family arrangements or cultural traditions.

Blending Traditions: Challenges in merging cultural or religious customs within mixed-heritage or interfaith relationships.

Conversations About Intimacy: Feeling unable to discuss needs or concerns related to emotional or physical intimacy due to privacy values or cultural taboos.

If any of these situations feel familiar, please know you are not alone—and that support is available.

What Makes Our Approach Different?

Seeking relationship support can be tough—especially if you are worried about having to explain your cultural context, family roles, or life decisions to someone who may not fully “get it.”

At Maplewood Counseling, our therapists bring both professional expertise and cultural humility. We honor all backgrounds—Indian, South Asian, Southeast Asian—and are committed to serving clients of every gender, orientation, faith, and family structure, including LGBTQIA+, interracial, and interfaith couples.

Our therapists understand:

The importance of family and collective values

The unique dynamics of joint and multigenerational households

The emotional weight of meeting parental and community expectations

We strive to create a space where you feel truly understood and respected.

How We Help Couples and Individuals

1. Improving Communication

Get tools to express your needs, emotions, and concerns in a way your partner can hear—no matter your communication styles or family influences. We help you move past misunderstandings and silence so your true feelings have space to be heard.

2. Setting Healthy Boundaries

Learn how to set boundaries with family and others while still honoring your values. Whether you live in a joint family or manage strong parental involvement, we’ll guide you to a balanced approach that protects both your relationship and family ties.

3. Navigating Cultural Identity

Work together to blend meaningful traditions from your heritage with the realities of life in the U.S. or a multicultural household. For parents, we help you create shared family values and open conversations about what traditions feel most important to pass on.

4. Deepening Connection and Intimacy

Our sessions provide a private, supportive space to talk about closeness—emotional and physical—with care and respect. We help you move beyond duty and obligation to build genuine connection tailored to your unique partnership.

Book Your Session

Frequently Asked Questions

Do you work with arranged marriages and family-introduced relationships?
Yes. We support couples at any stage of these partnerships and help you build trust, connection, and honest communication.

Will you encourage us to break ties with our families?
No. Family is central in many cultures. We help you find ways to remain close while also building a strong, respectful relationship with your partner.

Do you work with mixed-culture, interfaith, or LGBTQIA+ couples?
Absolutely. Our team welcomes all couples and individuals, regardless of background. We work with you to create a relationship that embraces all parts of your identity.

What if my partner is hesitant due to the stigma around mental health or therapy?
This is a common worry in South and Southeast Asian communities. We offer both in-person and private virtual sessions, always with full confidentiality and compassion. Seeking counseling is a sign of care for your relationship and yourself.

Can we come for pre-marital or relationship support if we’re not legally married?
Yes. We work with individuals, couples, and families in all stages—dating, engaged, recently partnered, or long-term. You don’t have to be married to benefit from support.

Ready to Build a Stronger Partnership?

You deserve a relationship that honors both your culture and your happiness. Whether you want to resolve conflicts or create a deeper level of understanding, we can help. Maplewood Counseling offers empathetic, culturally aware counseling sessions in Maplewood, NJ, as well as secure virtual counseling throughout New Jersey.

Get Care Now

Helpful Resources

Couples Support

Comprehensive Guide to Couples Counseling

Best Couples Counseling Options in Essex County, NJ

Types of Couples Counseling for Communication Problems

Family & Individual Support

Conflicting Parenting Styles? How Therapy Can Help

Understanding Anxiety & How Therapy Can Help

Online Therapy NJ | Maplewood Counseling

Anxiety, Depression, Gay Issues, Grief, Relationships

Online Therapy NJ
Virtual Counseling for Couples, Individuals & Families
Get in Touch

Effective Online Therapy NJ

Are you looking for online therapy to help you with a relationship, personal, or family challenge? Online therapy is just as effecitve as in person and offers convenience and accessibility. We have several options to help you.

Online Couples Therapy

Online Therapy for Individuals

Online Marriage & Family Therapy

Ready to Start? Let's Connect

The Many Benefits of Online Therapy NJ

All of our therapists offer online sessions. Here is Marina Fried talking about how we help with online therapy.

Online therapy or virtual counseling can help if you’re struggling with mental health issues or simply need someone to talk to. The process of online therapy involves communicating with a licensed therapist through digital platforms like video calls, phone calls, or messaging.

There are numerous benefits to seeking therapy through online means, including:

Convenience:

One of the biggest advantages of online therapy is the convenience of doing sessions from home or work. as well as other places. You no longer need to take the time to drive to an office, which saves time and money as well. and money.

Accessibility:

Online therapy is much more accessible for coiples, individuals, and families who may be abke tiaccess face-to-face or in-person sessions due to living at a distance, mobility issues, as well as busy schedules. You can also find specialized therapists who may not be available in your local area.

Flexibility:

Online therapy offers flexibility in terms of scheduling. With traditional therapy, you may have to work around your therapist’s availability and may even have to take time off work for appointments. However, with online therapy, you can schedule sessions at a time that works best for you.

Comfort:

For some people, the thought of sitting in a therapist’s office can be daunting or uncomfortable. Online therapy allows you to receive therapy in a space where you feel most comfortable, which can make the experience less intimidating and more effective.

Issues online therapy in NJ can help with:

Some common issues that can be addressed through online therapy in NJ include depression, anxiety, stress, relationship problems, parenting, relationships, trauma, and grief. Additionally, online therapy can also assist with managing chronic health conditions or navigating major life transitions.

Does online therapy help with couples therapy or relationship coaching?

Yes, online therapy can be effective for couples therapy or relationship coaching. Through video conferencing, couples can have sessions together with a therapist and work on improving communication, resolving conflicts, and building a stronger relationship. Online therapy also offers the added benefit of being able to schedule sessions at a time that works for both partners, even if they are in different locations.

In addition, it is important to note that online therapy may not be the best option for individuals with severe mental health concerns or those in crisis situations. In these cases, it may be necessary to seek immediate in-person treatment. It is always best to consult with a licensed therapist to determine the most appropriate form of therapy for your specific needs.

Online therapy nj can help couples who need marriage counseling, couples therapy and help for relationship and family issues. We also help individuals looking for counseling to help with depression, anxiety, grief and loss, divorce or a break up, LGBT gay relationship and personal issues and more.

Online Therapy NJ | Virtual Sessions

Is this you?

You need online counseling since you cannot make sessions in person.

You are going through a rough time and need a therapist that can offer remote session so you can get help from home or work.

You’re struggling with relationship or family issues and need help asap.

You’re struggling with parenting issues or other family conflict.

We offer online therapy NJ session for couples and individuals who are in need of professional counseling and are not able to attend sessions in person for any reasons and want the convenience of accessing help from home or work.

We are licensed and skilled therapists who can help with personal and relationship problems. Common issues we can help with include:

Communication problems

Long term disconnect and unhappniness

Lack of intimacy

Arguments about children, step children

Infidelity and affairs

Resolving conflict more effectively

Family problems, in-law challenges, paenting issues

Anxiety, depresison, grief, self esteem, being a better patner or parent

Deciding whether you can work things out

If you are in need of online therapy, which we can offer flexibly by phone, video, FaceTime, Telehealth and other formats if you live in New Jersey and even if you are in NY since one of our therapists are licensed in New Jersey and New York. If you need help now, get in touch. We are here to help.

Need Online Therapy in NJ? Get in touch

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