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Coping With an Affair

Depression, Grief, Relationships, Therapist

Coping with an Affair?

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Coping With an Affair and Infidelity

Are you coping with an affair? Wondering if your relationship can survive the infidelity? If you found out that your spouse or partner ( boyfriend or girlfriend ) cheated on you, it makes sense you’d feel completely devastated. How you found out also complicates things.  And you are no doubt going through a range of feelings from shock, anger, hurt, sadness to confusion. It can also be a huge blow to your self esteem, sometimes making it hard to eat, sleep, or function at work or home. The betrayal of a spouse or partner is so incredibly painful.

Is this you?

  • you’re in shock and you just don’t know what to do or whom to turn to
  • you don’t want to tell family or friends and you feel all alone
  • your feelings of shame are unbearable and you just feel like hiding from people
  • you’re not sure if you can stay in the marriage or relationship
  • you put up a wall and want to distance or lash out (or both)
  • you can’t be around your spouse or partner without feeling an incredible amount of pain
  • you’re getting obsessed with, and focused on, wanting to know all the details, but that only hurts more
  • you keep asking “why?” over and over
  • you feel like somehow it’s your fault

Coping with an affair is so very difficult. Of course you feel angry, of course you feel hurt. So what’s the next step? Can your relationship heal from the damage of an affair?

 

Coping after an affair can be very difficult and take a long time to heal. We hope this information helps you understand the healing process and what steps you can take to recover from infidelity.

Alone After Divorce?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Alone After Divorce?

Having Trouble Coping?
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Alone After Divorce?

Are you struggling and alone after divorce?

The end of a marriage can be very painful.  You tried so hard to make it work. Now you’re feeling tremendous sadness and loss.  A failed relationship can cause both parties to feel shame, grief and make it hard to function.  Many have a lot of trouble sleeping, eating and feel very isolated and alone.

Your marriage may have ended for any number of reasons:

  • you could not recover from the feelings of betrayal after an affair
  • you were treated with disrespect and emotionally abused and you just could not take it anymore
  • you slowly lost feelings for one another
  • you just could not work out your differences and connect in positive ways

Regardless of the reasons for breaking up, living alone after divorce can bring up feeling of grief and loss like you’ve never felt before.  In some situations, dealing with angry, sad or confused children can only make matters worse.  Even if you struggle with feelings of hostility and anger toward your ex (or visa versa), it is best for everyone to get some help processing and dealing with those feelings so they don’t cause even more damage and pain. We’ve seen many couples manage to get to a peaceful place even when they did not think it could be possible.

If you’re living or feeling alone after divorce there are people out there that can help you.  You’re not alone. Whether it’s a therapist experienced with divorce counseling or some type of group that helps men and women going through divorce, you can find someone to help you get through this difficult time.

If you need help and live or work in Essex County, NJ, get in touch.  We’re here to help.

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

 

Feeling Isolated and Alone?

Depression, Gay Issues, Grief, Relationships

Feel Isolated and Alone?

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Feeling Isolated and Alone?

 

Maplewood Marriage Counseling Couples Therapy NJ

 

Are you feeling isolated and alone? Is isolating causing you to feel depressed and ashamed or is it the other way around? Social or emotional isolation can have very painful consequences. It can even affect your health.

Alone Time – Is it Helping or Hurting?

Spending time alone can be a very healthy way to deal with a busy, stressful life. It’s a way of emotionally and mentally recharging. It’s great to have some quiet time to relax, deal with stress and do things you enjoy.  After all, everyone could use a break from day to day responsibilities, whether it’s work,  family or household responsibilities. There are many benefits to finding time for yourself.

However, if spending time alone is more about avoiding others and fearing interacting with others ( friends, family, at work), it can hurt you. Isolating might feel like the safer option, but it can make you feel worse.

Why do people isolate?

  • you feel sad ( and/or ashamed) and learned it’s safer to withdraw rather than risk reaching out to others for help
  • you feel ashamed or struggling with low self esteem or self worth
  • you feel depressed and have never felt like anyone can help or cares
  • you’re grieving over the loss of a family member or going through a painful divorce or break up
  • you’re in a painful marriage or relationship and feel very alone and can’t let people know how awful you’re feeling
  • you don’t feel like you have people who can you can trust to be there for you
  • social interactions feel more painful than isolating
  • you struggle making friends or dealing with others in social situations
  • you’ve moved to a new area ( common  in Maplewood and South Orange ) and it’s hard to make new friends and get connected
  • you have a new baby and the change feels isolating
  • you’re an introvert and/or a highly sensitive person ( HSP ) that is finding it more difficult, overwhelming and draining to put yourself out there

If you’re feeling isolated and alone and have pulled away from people in your life, find out what may help connect. You have to feel safe enough to reach out and stop isolating.

Therapy and support groups can help deal with the issues that make you isolate. You can find ways to deal with your fears and anxiety to get more connected and socially engaged. For some people, it might mean learning how to reconnect with family and friends you can trust, and with others, it might mean finding a support group or other support network to help you.

Feeling Isolated and Alone

Reach out for help when you’re ready. Get in touch here contact us.

We hope you find this helpful.

How to Deal with Trauma and Traumatic Stress

Anxiety, Depression, Grief

Dealing with Trauma

PTSD and Trauma Therapy
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How to Deal with Trauma and Traumatic Stress

How to deal with trauma and traumatic stress –  Recently, Hurricane Sandy caused severe damage to the Northeast including New York, Connecticut and New Jersey. Some people lost their homes due to wind and water damage and many families have had to deal with power outages for extended periods of time. Some people (such as the elderly and the sick ) have not able to easily get food and water, and those without power have had no heat.  And still others have been displaced, staying with friends or relatives or making use of emergency shelters.  These are traumatic events.

Even as the emergency response continues and matters improve, you may feel stressed, overwhelmed or depressed.   These feelings can be expected after the trauma wreaked by Sandy.

If you’re trying to recover from the devastation of dealing with both the physical and emotional trauma caused by the storm, you might find these reources helpful.

HOW TO GET, FILE FOR AID: FEMA DISASTER ASSISTANCE APPLICATION

“Residents of the 10 counties that have been included in the disaster declaration (Atlantic, Bergen, Cape May, Essex, Hudson, Middlesex, Monmouth, Ocean, Somerset and Union) may register for assistance online at www.disasterassistance.gov or by phone at 1-800-621-3362 .

Applicants must provide social security numbers, information about insurance coverage, family gross income, address and phone number of property that is damaged and a current address and phone, if different” more …

How to Deal with Trauma – Resources to Help You:

Five Steps for Dealing with Trauma | Psych Central -Did you know that bad things that have happened to you in your life can cause or worsen psychiatric symptoms? More and more research confirms the strong. more…

Managing traumatic stress: Tips for recovering from disasters and other traumatic events – Disasters are often unexpected, sudden and overwhelming. In some cases, there are no outwardly visible signs of physical injury, but there is nonetheless a more …

Managing traumatic stress: After the hurricane – What are normal reactions to experiencing a hurricane, and how to cope with your feelings – more…

Emotional and Psychological Trauma: Causes, Symptoms, Help – Your child may also look to you for cues on how they should respond to traumatic events so let him or her see you dealing with symptoms of trauma in a positive … more…

We hope you find this information helpful.

Aging and Mental Health

Aging and Mental Health

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Aging and Mental Health

Coping With Aging
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Aging and Mental Heath

 

 

Coping with Getting Older, Depression, Aging Care Resources

Dealing with aging and mental health issues can be rough. Hitting 50 for many of us is a time when we reflect on our lives and think about our mortality. Even if you feel healthy, you start to wonder about the inevitable and issues such as heart problems, strokes, and the big “C.”

Add to that dealing with elderly parents, a sick spouse or partner, financial struggles, divorce and dealing with adult or adolescent children.  Getting older can feel very overwhelming. Depression is a common aging and mental health issue.

Need Aging and Mental Health Resources?

So how can you deal with feeling depressed? Aging care services, psychotherapy and support groups can help with feelings of isolation, depression, grief, hopelessness, and anxiety. Try to reach out to your doctor, a mental health professional and local support groups. If you’re overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, try calling a few licensed mental health professionals in your area to see who you might feel most comfortable talking to.

You can also find some helpful resources here.

Find Elder and Aging Care Resources to Help You

Aging and Mental Health | Psychotherapy Articles on AARP

We hope you find these aging and mental health resources helpful. We’ll be adding many more resources.  Feel free to let us know what information might be of interest or help to you and your family.

Finding Life After Divorce

Depression, Grief, Relationships

Life After Divorce

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Finding Life After Divorce

 

Separation and divorce can be one of the most painful experiences of your life. The loss feels unbearable to so many people. Many find it hard to eat, sleep and function at work and home. Finding a support group or a mental health professional may help you cope. Processing the grief can be extremely painful, but it is important to healing and to finding life after divorce.

You may have made many mistakes in your relationship. We all have. Understanding what happened and learning what you can do to make a future relationship more satisfying and successful is possible. Blaming your ex will not help you get there faster and can only prolong the agony by hanging onto toxic feelings.

Forgiving and Finding Life After Divorce

The truth is no one wins in a failed relationship. Most couples want it to work and for various reasons it just did not. The sooner you can let go of anger and resentment and let yourself feel the pain (as hard as it is), the more open you will be to new experiences.

I’ve seen many people work through and process the end of a relationship and eventually find peace. I’ve also seen many of those people begin new lives and start the dating process again. Sometimes it’s awkward and scary to put yourself out there again – sometimes after being married for so many years, but it is very possible to find happiness again — in or out of a relationship.

Finding life after divorce ad how to embrace the next chapter after processing the pain.

Finding life after divorce – Divorce support groups listed here:

We’d be glad to help with counseling or coaching. Need to talk?

Get in Touch with Maplewood Counseling in NJ