Help After Marital Infidelity

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Need Help with Marital Infidelity?

Help With Betrayal & Trust

Get in Touch

Coping with Relationship and Marital infidelity

Are you a couple dealing with marital infidelity? Are you feeling desperate to get help after an affair? Do you realize you made a huge mistake and don’t know what to do?

Many people involved in an affair feel trapped in lies, covering up for selfish reasons and for fear losing their relationship. Even though it is initially painful and devastating once an affair comes out, most couples can work through these issues if both are open and willing to the healing process. It does take time.

After Marital infidelity

It’s never an excuse, but most affairs are usually a symptom of a problem in a relationship – a lack of connection or not communicating what you need and feel. This is not an excuse, but feeling disappointed, neglected, angry or alone can make up a couple very vulnerable in this way. Sometimes it is other issues and many times we hear “I don’t know why I did it” and for many people, this is true.

Honesty is certainly the best policy when it comes to many things in life and marital infidelity is no exception. Most people fear coming clean and will lie and hide things even when their spouse or partner senses something is wrong. Some people actually will say “you’re crazy” or “you’re paranoid” or “you are ridiculous”, when questioned and accused. Lying can do a number on both people – and the betrayal is very damaging to the relationship.

So it is harmful for you to lie and harmful to your relationship to not be honest and tell your spouse about the marital infidelity. It’s understandable because you certainly don’t want to risk losing the marriage or relationship over it, but the damage done by the lying makes things much more painful and harder to work through when the truth is revealed.

Finally, admitting the affair – how did your partner find out?

Sometimes people feel so guilty and want to be honest they tell their partner about the affair. Other times, the affair is discovered by seeing something on your cell phone bill, credit card charges or just tracking device or even private investigators. Even worse, the person you are or had an affair with has threatened to email or call your wife or husband and tell them – and followed through on that threat.

When you find out from the person who your spouse or partner has been having an affair with, You literally feel shocked, numb, devastated, in a rage – any number of things. As a result, your marriage or relationship is truly in crisis for a period of time and you’re not sure what to do. Also, relationship and marital infidelity causes such extreme pain when it is discovered. Maybe your wife or husband might even demand you take a polygraph or lie-detector test since they have lost all trust in anything you say and cannot trust even themselves.

Most couples turn to a trained and experienced therapist the help them get through the shock, anger, sadness, need for space – a range of intense emotions. They need help with the next steps.

If you need counseling for relationship and marital infidelity, feel free to get in touch.

Can We Survive Marital Infidelity

Short Hills Counseling in NJ for Couples, Individuals, & Families

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Expert Therapy and Counseling for Short Hills & Millburn Residents

Reviewed by Debra Feinberg LCSW at Maplewood Counseling

Supportive Counseling for Individuals, Couples, and Families Near You

Life brings changes and challenges that can feel overwhelming. Whether you are navigating difficult transitions, experiencing disconnect in your relationship, or struggling with personal issues, seeking support is a sign of strength. Many people in the Short Hills and Millburn communities look for a local, trusted therapist to guide them through these times.

At Maplewood Counseling, we provide a safe and supportive space just a short drive away. Our experienced and licensed therapists are here to help you, your partner, or your family find a path forward. We offer both in-person sessions at our nearby Maplewood office and convenient virtual therapy to fit your life.

Do You Feel Like It’s Time for a Change?

It can be painful when you’ve tried everything you can think of and still feel stuck. Perhaps you recognize yourself in some of these situations:

You need a couples counselor to help navigate relationship, family, or parenting issues.

You’re going through a divorce or breakup and need support managing grief, anxiety, or depression.

Infidelity, an emotional affair, or online cheating has broken trust in your relationship.

You want your spouse or partner to join you in therapy, but they are hesitant.

You feel disconnected from your partner and fear losing your relationship.

Communication problems and constant conflict are making daily life difficult.

If any of these resonate with you, please know you are not alone. Our dedicated therapists are here to help you transform these challenges into opportunities for growth and deeper connection. We empower you with the tools to resolve conflict, improve communication, and rebuild your bond.

Conveniently Located to Serve the Short Hills Community

Maplewood Counseling is proud to serve our neighbors in Short Hills, Millburn, Springfield, Summit, Union, Livingston, and West Orange. Our office is easily accessible, providing a local option for high-quality mental health support.

Maplewood Counseling
169 Maplewood Ave, Suite 4
Maplewood, NJ 07040

Call Now: (973) 902-8700

We understand the unique dynamics of our community. Below, you can explore an interactive map highlighting the Short Hills area, including local neighborhoods and schools, to see just how close support really is.

Book Your Appointment Today!

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What types of therapy do you offer?
We provide counseling for individuals, couples, and families. Our services cover a wide range of issues, including anxiety, depression, relationship conflicts, infidelity, parenting challenges, grief, and life transitions.

Are your sessions in-person or virtual?
We offer both! You can choose to meet with our therapists for in-person sessions at our comfortable Maplewood office or opt for the convenience and flexibility of secure online video therapy (telehealth).

How do I know if therapy is right for me?
If you are feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unable to resolve issues on your own, therapy can provide the professional guidance and non-judgmental support needed to move forward. It’s a dedicated space to work on your personal and relational well-being.

What if my partner is hesitant to try couples counseling?
This is a very common concern. Our therapists are skilled at creating a safe environment where both partners feel heard and respected. We often start by addressing these hesitations to ensure the process is comfortable for everyone involved.

How long does therapy take?
The duration of therapy is unique to each individual or couple. Some clients find resolution for specific issues in a few months, while others benefit from longer-term support. We will work with you to create a plan that meets your specific goals.

Take the First Step Toward a Brighter Future

You don’t have to navigate these challenges alone. Let our experienced therapists provide the guidance and support you need to build a happier, healthier life and stronger relationships.

Book Your Session Today!

See the Helpful Resources for Couples

Couples Counseling Guide
A comprehensive guide to couples counseling, offering insights into how therapy can help improve communication, resolve conflicts, and strengthen relationships.

Marriage Counseling Guide
Explore the benefits of marriage counseling, including strategies for rebuilding trust, enhancing intimacy, and navigating life’s challenges together.

Therapy for Interfaith & Interracial Couples in NJ
Learn how therapy can support interfaith and interracial couples in navigating cultural differences, fostering understanding, and building a shared vision for the future.

Communication Tips for Culturally Diverse Couples
Practical tips and strategies for improving communication in culturally diverse relationships, helping couples bridge gaps and strengthen their connection.

Shared Vision for Interfaith & Interracial Families
Discover how therapy can help interfaith and interracial families create a shared vision, navigate challenges, and foster harmony.

At Maplewood Counseling, we are dedicated to supporting individuals, couples, and families in achieving mental wellness. Based in Maplewood, NJ, we proudly serve the Essex County, NJ community and offer statewide telehealth services to ensure accessible care for all. Whether you’re seeking help for anxiety, depression, relationship challenges, or personal growth, our experienced team is here to guide you every step of the way.

📍 Location: 169 Maplewood Ave Suite 4 Maplewood NJ 07040
📞 Phone: 973-902-8700
🌐 Website: Maplewood Counseling

We Use HIPAA Compliant Telehealth Platform SimplePractice for our Telehealth Sessions

Can Our Relationship Survive?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Can Our Relationship Survive?

Helping Couples in NJ

Can Relationship Therapy Help Us Work it Out?

Couples that are disconnected or in crisis often consider splitting up usually ask this question: Can we work it out?

All couples have to deal with issues. Some much more difficult and painful than others. Couples that do not have skills to repair “ruptures” will struggle and over time the result is a disconnect. That lack of connection can cause tremendous damage, loss of hope, feeling alone and make couples feel very unhappy. They sometimes decide to go their separate ways.

Couples that are open (both people) and committed to trying to understand one another and reflect on their own triggers have a much better shot at making it work. This takes a deeper awareness and level of presence and consciousness, which is not easy to achieve if defense mechanisms kick in, which happens for most people.

Effective Relationship Therapy

There are many things that can hep couples repair their conflicts in more effective ways. Level of conscious – understanding you own part it the conflict and where your partner or spouse is coming from is critical. Consciousness will take reflecting on your past, understanding how earlier relationships (neglect, abuse, feeling like you don’t matter) can be the downfall of any relationship. Once painful experiences and feelings from the past get triggered (and there is no awareness of this connection only the pain) by your spouse or parnter, anger – sometimes aggression causes a reaction. As if to say “how dare you trigger my pain”.

What happened when that pain gets triggered is any number of things.

Angry reactions – yelling, screaming, name calling

The silent treatment (favorite weapon of some which is emotionally abusive and not a good way of dealing with anger)

Confusion: The couple that does not understand these issues – cause and effect, will struggle with sadness and confusion.

Infidelity and a loss of Intimacy:

Feeling alone, unhappy and disconnected

When you don’t have the communication skills to resolve important issues, your relationship will suffer. You’ll feel disconnected, like you don’t matter, are not appreciated – you or your partner can become vulnerable to splitting up, separation and divorce.

Want to know if there is anything you can do to get better and communicating with one another? Are you both committed to working on the relationship or trying to decide if you should go your separate ways, as painful as that is? Marriage and relationship therapy can help you figure out the next step.

Relationship Therapy- Struggling and Need Therapy?

Anger and Conflict

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Need Help with Anger?

Trouble handling anger and conflict in your relationship?

The key to a healthy connected couples is knowing how to repair issues when they come up. Do you react rather than respond when communicating disappointment, frustration, anger or another difficult emotion? Most couples that struggle in these ways develop negative patterns and cycles when it comes to dealing with anger and conflict. This can cause can disconnect and the lack of ability (consciousness/awareness) to understand and repair problems can lead to a divorce or a break-up.

Does this sound familiar?

Your spouse or significant other gets nasty, critical or aggressive when upset

Your partner gets defensive when they are angry and does not hear you

You shut down and your protective wall goes up when your spouse gets angry

You withdraw when your spouse aggressively pursues you to discuss things

You can be vindictive and resort to the silent treatment as a form of punishment

You end up hating your partner for being so mean

You or your wife or husband end up feeling alone and like you don’t matter

You feel like you can do nothing right and nothing good you do is noticed

Your spouse is controlling when angry and you feel he or she needs to control everything

You need help resolving conflict in ways that make you both feel heard and understood

All couples are going to have conflict – it is unavoidable to have your differences. Relationships that do not know how to resolve and talk about their differences in more positive ways end up feeling a tremendous amount of pain. Sometimes the inability to repair “ruptures” in the marriage or relationship leads to feelings of feelings of hopelessness if the pattern has been going on for a long time.

If you are both committed to trying to do a better job resolving conflict in a relationship, a well trained therapist can help. If you are feeling like the relationship is on the brink, see if there is anyway to rebuild hope and connection and your marriage.

If you’re looking for counseling to see if you can get better at resolving conflict, get in touch.

Learn How to Deal with Conflict and Strengthen Your Relationship

Coping with Life Challenges

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Dealing With Life Challenges?

There are so many things that challenge of us in our lives. Everyone has to deal with these challenges at one point or another. Knowing how to cope when things are really painful is a skill that can be developed.

Are you going through a painful time in your life right now? Is this you?

You’re dealing with a health issue that has been difficult for you or family members

Your are dealing with marital or relationship challenges – possibly going through a break up, divorce or separation

You’re struggling with financial or work related concerns

You’re single and alone and trying to cope with how painful and lonely that can be at times

You choose the wrong type of people and your relationships Dash ones that are unavailable, self absorbed narcissistic and unable to give you what you need

You’re having difficulty with the struggling child – young child, teenager, adult child or older children

You’re dealing with blended in step family issues and this causes frequent fights

Working with your attitude about a challenge is very important. We all are faced with very unpleasant things that happen in our lives. And finding better ways to cope can make a huge difference when you’re in one of those painful times. When you’re in one of these dark times, it can feel like will last forever, but it won’t. It’s just a matter of getting through moment by moment and day by day until you come out of the darkness.

Need help finding more mindful ways to cope with adversity? Get in touch

Getting Through Hard Times

When You or Your Spouse Wants a Divorce

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Your or Spouse Wants a Divorce?

Marriage Counseling NJ

Should We Separate?

Spouse Wants Divorce? Partner Wants Out?

What to do when you or your spouse wants out of your marriage or relationship.

Is this you?

Spouse wants divorce – Your wife or husband saying they want to separate.

Things have been bad for a long time and you’re at a critical point in the relationship

There’s been a recent event like an affair that has really been a painful wake up call

Your husband or wife has been so neglectful, verbally or emotionally (* physically) abusive over the years that you just have lost all hope

You developed feelings for someone else – maybe through an emotional affair or sexual infidelity and you’re not sure what to do

Do you need help figuring out your next step is a couple if you can’t stay together

* physical abuse is the fastest way to destroy your relationship and you will have to do individual therapy since therapists cannot work with a couple that have a pattern of physical, domestic violence and or spousal abuse since safety is a priority.

If you need help figuring out if your relationship can survive or if you have to go your separate ways, call or email us and let us know how we can help you.

Struggling in Your Marriage?

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