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Why Does Infidelity Happen?

Why Does Infidelity Happen?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

INFIDELITY THERAPY NEAR ME NJ 

 

Coping with Infidelity?
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Why Does Infidelity Happen?

 

Understanding and dealing with infidelity

Infidelity is common in today’s society, and yet, it’s a taboo that has existed for centuries. Relationships and marriages suffer when infidelity occurs. The deceived partner generally feels hurt and lost, or perhaps angry and betrayed. The partner having the affair might feel guilty and terrible about the harm and hurt feelings they’ve caused.

It’s a fact that many people have been exposed to affairs. Perhaps they experienced it as a child, seeing affairs occur in their parent’s marriage. Or, perhaps they found out about friends or relatives involved in affairs. Or, maybe they took part in an affair themselves. Then, there’s the flip side, being the one whose partner had an affair.

So…why do people cheat?

Esther Perel, a psychotherapist, who is a leading expert on relationship counseling, raises meaningful questions in her TED Talk video entitled “Rethinking Infidelity…a talk for anyone who has ever loved.”

The questions she raises dig deep into the reasons that affairs occur. Her talk also offers hope for those who want to restore their relationship after an affair. Of course, the reasons for an affair can vary from couple to couple. However, infidelity often shares common denominators.

Questions that help provide guidance during counseling

A question for both partners of a couple to answer:

Does the affair have to be the end of your relationship?

Questions for the partner who had the affair:

  • What made you want to have an affair? Was it for the sex? Or was it for the attention, the desire to feel special or important?
  • Did you experience a loss prior to having the affair—for example the loss of a parent, a friend, a career, or bad news from a doctor?
  • Were you happy with your partner but looking for a deeper emotional connection, for novelty, autonomy or sexual intensity?
  • Was your marriage already dying and the affair was simply the final straw?
  • Did the secretive relationship make you feel more alive? Were you attracted because it was a taboo, something you shouldn’t do?
  • Were you trying to find a different aspect of yourself, perhaps be a different or better version of yourself in a new relationship?
  • Are you sorry that having an affair hurt your partner?

For the partner deceived by the affair:

  • Did discovering the affair make you doubt yourself? Did you wonder who you were and if you had value?
  • Could you no longer trust your partner? Did you start distrusting other people in general?
  • Were you upset because you thought you had a happy relationship and didn’t understand why your partner would stray?
  • Do you wonder what your partner found through the affair that they believed they couldn’t experience with you?
  • Did you feel like you were no longer special—you weren’t “the one” anymore?
  • After discovering the affair, did you feel a loss of identity, like you didn’t know who you were?
  • Did you feel your partner lied to you, “you’re crazy, nothing is happening” and feel gaslighting was making you doubt yourself and your gut?
  • Even though you never had an affair, did you betray your partner in other ways? Through condemnation, criticism, neglect, indifference or perhaps even violence?

Find out how relationship counseling can help

With any difficulty that arises in life, it’s possible to emerge from it with a broader perspective and a deeper understanding. Finding ways to rediscover joy and meaning in life is vital for everyone.

Whether or not you stay together and recreate your relationship is a decision that you as a couple will make. Either way, exploring the issues underlying infidelity can offer an opportunity for you both to grow as individuals.

Contact us about relationship counseling and discover what answers are true for you.

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

Maplewood Counseling
Offering Online & In-person Sessions
169 Maplewood Ave Suite 4
Maplewood, NJ 07040
Call Now (973) 793-1000

Online Therapy NJ | Maplewood Counseling

Online Therapy NJ | Maplewood Counseling

Anxiety, Depression, Gay Issues, Grief, Relationships

Online Therapy NJ

Virtual Counseling for Couples, Individuals & Families
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Effective Online Therapy NJ

Are you looking for online therapy to help you with a relationship, personal, or family challenge? Online therapy is just as effecitve as in person and offers convenience and accessibility. We have several options to help you. 

Maplewood Marriage Counseling NJ

Online Couples Therapy

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Online Therapy for Individuals

Maplewood Counseling NJ

Online Marriage & Family Therapy

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The Many Benefits of Online Therapy NJ

All of our therapists offer online sessions. Here is Marina Fried talking about how we help with online therapy.

Online therapy or virtual counseling can help if you’re struggling with mental health issues or simply need someone to talk to. The process of online therapy involves communicating with a licensed therapist through digital platforms like video calls, phone calls, or messaging.

Get in Touch with Maplewood Counseling in NJ

There are numerous benefits to seeking therapy through online means, including:

Convenience:

One of the biggest advantages of online therapy is the convenience of doing sessions from home or work. as well as other places. You no longer need to take the time to drive to an office, which saves time and money as well. and money.

Accessibility:

Online therapy is much more accessible for coiples, individuals, and families who may be abke tiaccess face-to-face or in-person sessions due to living at a distance, mobility issues, as well as busy schedules. You can also find specialized therapists who may not be available in your local area.

Flexibility:

Online therapy offers flexibility in terms of scheduling. With traditional therapy, you may have to work around your therapist’s availability and may even have to take time off work for appointments. However, with online therapy, you can schedule sessions at a time that works best for you.

Comfort:

For some people, the thought of sitting in a therapist’s office can be daunting or uncomfortable. Online therapy allows you to receive therapy in a space where you feel most comfortable, which can make the experience less intimidating and more effective.

Issues online therapy in NJ can help with:

Some common issues that can be addressed through online therapy in NJ include depression, anxiety, stress, relationship problems, parenting, relationships, trauma, and grief. Additionally, online therapy can also assist with managing chronic health conditions or navigating major life transitions.

Does online therapy help with couples therapy or relationship coaching?

Yes, online therapy can be effective for couples therapy or relationship coaching. Through video conferencing, couples can have sessions together with a therapist and work on improving communication, resolving conflicts, and building a stronger relationship. Online therapy also offers the added benefit of being able to schedule sessions at a time that works for both partners, even if they are in different locations.

In addition, it is important to note that online therapy may not be the best option for individuals with severe mental health concerns or those in crisis situations. In these cases, it may be necessary to seek immediate in-person treatment. It is always best to consult with a licensed therapist to determine the most appropriate form of therapy for your specific needs.

Online therapy nj can help couples who need marriage counseling, couples therapy and help for relationship and family issues. We also help individuals looking for counseling to help with depression, anxiety, grief and loss, divorce or a break up, LGBT gay relationship and personal issues and more.

Online Therapy NJ | Virtual Sessions

Is this you?

  • You need online counseling since you cannot make sessions in person.
  • You are going through a rough time and need a therapist that can offer remote session so you can get help from home or work.
  • You’re struggling with relationship or family issues and need help asap.
  • You’re struggling with parenting issues or other family conflict.

We offer online therapy NJ session for couples and individuals who are in need of professional counseling and are not able to attend sessions in person for any reasons and want the convenience of accessing help from home or work.

We are licensed and skilled therapists who can help with personal and relationship problems. Common issues we can help with include:

  • Communication problems
  • Long term disconnect and unhappniness
  • Lack of intimacy
  • Arguments about children, step children
  • Infidelity and affairs
  • Resolving conflict more effectively
  • Family problems, in-law challenges, paenting issues
  • Anxiety, depresison, grief, self esteem, being a better patner or parent
  • Deciding whether you can work things out

If you are in need of online therapy, which we can offer flexibly by phone, video, FaceTime, Telehealth and other formats if you live in New Jersey and even if you are in NY since one of our therapists are licensed in New Jersey and New York. If you need help now, get in touch. We are here to help.

Get in Touch with Maplewood Counseling in NJ 

Need Online Therapy in NJ? Get in touch

CoronaVirus Fears | NJ Counseling

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

CoronaVirus Fears & Challenges

Online Therapy NJ

Help From Home or Work

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

Maplewood Counseling
Offering Online & In-person Sessions
169 Maplewood Ave Suite 4
Maplewood, NJ 07040
Call Now (973) 793-1000

CoronaVirus Fears and Challenges

COVID-19 Crisis. We can reduce the cost of therapy for couples and individuals that need a lower fee during this difficult time. If you need a reduced fee, please let us know.

Doctors, nurses, hospital workers and other front line heros/workers please let us know if counseling would help. We thank you for your sacrifice and hard work during this pandemic and are here to help you in whatever ways we can.

Are you and loved ones coping with Coronavirus fears and challenges? Do you need help to manage the anxiety and stress on yourself, relationship or family dynamics?

Does this sound familiar?

  • You and possibly your spouse are trying to work from home and it is stressful
  • You are afraid of what will happen to your parents or grandparents during this time.
  • You have already been struggling in your relationship and now things are more challenging.
  • Your kids are now home making it very difficult to manage everything without outside help, especially since you are limiting play dates.
  • You are worried about not being able to work or make money if you are unable to get to work.
  • Your kids are home from college and it is stressing you out.
  • You are a college student struggling with anxiety and depression and this is making things worse for you.
  • You run a local business and people are not coming in and you are struggling with how to run your business and take care of employees.

Coronavirus fears and challenges are making things very difficult in so many ways.

Managing this new normal can be difficult for so many individual, couples and families. It is a stressful time for us all.

If you are in need of help we can provide phone, video and in-person sessions in New Jersey and phone and video sessions if you live in NY. This will pass and you just need to manage the stress until it does.

Call 973-902-8700 Maplewoood Counseling
 
 
 
Marriage in Trouble?

Angry Tone Causing Issues?

Angry Tone Causing Issues?

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

Struggle With An Angry Tone in Your Relationship

Get Help Expressing Anger

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5 Problems With An Angry Tone

Have you ever felt angry over something? Have you noticed how your tone changes when you are angry? An angry tone can cause a lot of problems in our personal and professional relationships. In this article, we will discuss six problems that arise from an angry tone and how to deal with them.

  • Problem #1: Miscommunication

When we speak with an angry tone, our words may come out as aggressive or confrontational even if we didn’t mean it that way. This can lead to miscommunication and misunderstandings which can damage relationships and create unnecessary conflicts.

How to deal with it:

Be aware of your tone while communicating. Take a moment to calm yourself down before responding in anger. Practice actively listening and try to understand the other person’s perspective.

  • Problem #2: Intimidation

An angry tone can be intimidating and make others feel uncomfortable or even scared. This can create an unhealthy power dynamic in relationships where one person dominates over the other through fear.

How to deal with it:

Express your emotions in a calm and respectful manner. Avoid using aggressive language or body language that may come across as intimidating. Remember, effective communication involves mutual respect and understanding.

  • Problem #3: Lack of empathy

When we speak with an angry tone, we are often focused on our own emotions rather than considering how the other person feels. This lack of empathy can strain relationships and make it difficult to resolve conflicts.

How to deal with it:

Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and understand their perspective. Express your emotions while also acknowledging theirs. This can create a mutual understanding and pave the way for finding a solution together.

  • Problem #4: Negative impact on mental health

Constantly using an angry tone can take a toll on our mental health. It can lead to feelings of guilt, regret, and frustration which can manifest as anxiety or anger disorders over time.

How to deal with it:

Practice managing your anger by identifying triggers and finding healthy ways to cope with them. Seek professional help if needed.

  • Problem #5: Damage to personal relationships

An angry tone can cause damage to personal relationships, making it difficult to repair and rebuild trust. It can also create a toxic environment where conflicts are constantly brewing.

How to deal with it:

Make an effort to communicate in a calm and respectful manner. Practice forgiveness and learn effective conflict resolution skills. Remember that healthy communication is key for maintaining strong personal relationships. So, it is important to continuously work on improving how we express our emotions and communicate with others in order to cultivate positive and healthy relationships. This involves being aware of our own emotions, actively listening to others, showing empathy, and finding constructive ways to manage anger. With practice and effort, we can all become better communicators who contribute towards creating a more peaceful and harmonious world. Let’s start by managing our tone, one conversation at a time.

Angry Tone Causing Issues?

Are You Confused By How Upset Your Partner Gets?

Does your spouse or partner complain about your angry tone? Doe you feel you don’t even have a tone and get frustrated by your wife or husband’s complaints? Feel like you are not getting anywhere when you are trying to express how you feel?

Does this sound familiar?

  • Your partner gets very upset when they hear angry tone
  • It annoys your because you don’t fee you have a “tone”
  • You feel like it’s no big deal and normal to express yourself this way
  • You find it undbearable and put up a wall when this happens

So how can you both resolve this ongoing problem? You can find better ways to resolve conflict and become aware of your triggers. Sometimes one person grows up in a family where people are loud when they express one another and it feels normal. Sometimes the other partner grows up in a scary, abusive home and has a strong reaction to hearing something familiar (and upsetting).

One the other hand, one person may have grown up in a household where no one raised their voices, so hearing that from a spouse can feel scary and bad. The best way to start making important changes is to understand where these feelings come from so you can both understand (with compassion) what to do to improve your communication and become aware of your “tone”.

If you want help with issues related to angry tone, feel free to get in touch.

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Need Anger Counseling?

Struggling with Loneliness? Feeling Lonely?

Struggling with Loneliness? Feeling Lonely?

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

Struggling with Loneliness?

Online Therapy

Couples, Individuals, Families

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Struggling with Loneliness?

Loneliness is an epidemic. Mental health experts are seeing a trend with the amount of people, young and old, that are feeling a great deal of loneliness. They have also studied how loneliness over an extended period of time can cause serious health issues.

Are you feeling lonely? Does this sound familiar to you?

  • You are surrounded by friends and family, yet still feel lonely
  • You do not have a support system and struggle getting more connected
  • You are a young person teenager or young adult and feel isolated and alone.
  • You are over 60 and have lost a spouse or gone through divorce and feel depressed and alone.

Loneliness can affect people of any age. Sharing these vulnerable feelings in a safe place and trying to find a strategy to help break this pattern can be very helpful.You are not alone. More and more people are coping with intense loneliness and feelings of isolation.

Do you need help or are you trying to help someone you know that struggling in this way? Get in touch.  

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

Denying an Affair?

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

 
 
 

Denying An Affair?
Scared to Tell The Truth?

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

Maplewood Counseling
Offering Online & In-person Sessions
169 Maplewood Ave Suite 4
Maplewood, NJ 07040
Call Now (973) 793-1000

You or Your Partner Denying An Affair?

 

Is denying an affair causing causing pain and mistrust? Does this sounds familiar?

  • Are you lying repeatedly when your partner or spouse questions you?
  • Are you gaslighting your spouse ( “ you’re crazy, nothings going on. It’s all in your head” )?
  • Is it making you feel lousy about lying and hurting your partner?
  • Is it hard to let go of something that feels good?
  • Are you worried what will happen when you and the affair ( Will the person act out and contact your partner or spouse? )
  • Do you need help ending the affair and the fear of being honest with your partner?
  • Do you worry about losing your relationship or marriage?

There are so many problems that arise from an affair. Living a double life and secretly texting, calling and meeting the person you’re having an affair with – and lying about it causes damage on many levels. There are some men and women that want to stop the affair and don’t know how. There are others that know that they’ll feel loss when they give up whatever the affair is making them feel ( not wanting to let go of the attention or feeling special or maybe you fear what will happen when you do come clean).

On the other hand, maybe your spouse or partner finally came forward with “proof” after denying an affair and there’s no disputing it. What do you do then?

It depends. According to sex therapist and infidelity specialist Esther Perel, there are three main reasons people seek out affairs

  1.  it’s a wake up call to a relationship that has been disconnected and needs some changes here
  2.  The relationship has been so bad and unhappy for so long that an affair can be the last straw for a relationship that’s already “dying on the vine “
  3.   Sometimes it doesn’t have anything to do with the relationship and it’s more of personal Journey Or something meaningful about the relationship.

Are you feeling insecure and sense your husband or wife is involved with a coworker or someone else? Do you have a strong gut feeling and know that your partner or spouse is doing something inappropriate. Do you feel betrayed and confused? Are they very protective about their phone or email? Do you need help with what to do about this situation for yourself?

Or are you a wife or husband that is stuck and feeling trapped in a bad situation regarding an emotional or physical affair. Do you fear that being honest about the infidelity will end your marriage or relationship? Do you want it to end?

If you are denying an affair ( or feel your spouse is denying the affair ) and need help sorting through feelings and steps to take, get in touch

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

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Trying to End An Affiar?