Things Not Going the Way You Expected?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Things Not Going the Way You Want?

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Things Not Going the Way You Want?

Not sure what to do about it?

Things not going according to plan in your life or relationship?

Are you feeling frustrated and unhappy because things aren’t going the way you want them to in your life or relationship? Many situations are unpredictable and relationships are complex, so it’s natural to experience bumps along the way. Life is all about how we handle plan B when things don’t go the way we wanted or expected.

If you find yourself in this situation, know that you are not alone. It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed and unsure of what steps to take next. But don’t let these challenges discourage you – they can actually be opportunities for growth and improvement.

The good news is that there are steps you can take to help get things back on track. Here are some tips to keep in mind when things aren’t going according to plan:

Invite yourself to take a step back and reflect on the situation. Ask yourself why things aren’t going according to plan and what you can do to improve the situation.
Remember that it’s okay to not have everything figured out. It’s normal to face challenges and setbacks in life, but they don’t define you or your future.
Seek support from friends, family, or a professional. It’s always helpful to have someone to talk to and offer guidance during tough times.
Take small actions towards your goals every day. Sometimes progress may seem slow, but even small steps can add up over time.

How to manage getting through hard times

During difficult times, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed and lose sight of how to move forward. Here are some additional tips for managing getting through hard times:

Practice self-care: It’s important to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being during tough times. Make sure to take care of yourself by eating well, staying hydrated, and engaging in activities that bring you joy or help you relax.
Be kind to yourself: Remember that it’s okay to make mistakes and face challenges. Don’t be too hard on yourself and instead offer yourself compassion and understanding.
Focus on the present: While it’s natural to worry about the future during tough times, try to focus on the here and now. Take things one day at a time and try not to let anxiety take over.
Seek out positive influences: Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. This can be friends, family, or even online communities that share similar interests or experiences.
Remember that setbacks are temporary: No matter how difficult things may seem now, know that this too shall pass. Keep reminding yourself that the tough times won’t last forever and there is hope for a brighter future.

Getting through hard times can be challenging but with the right mindset and support, you can overcome any obstacle. Remember to take care of yourself, stay positive, and keep moving forward. And always remember that tough times don’t define you – your resilience and determination do. You got this! So keep pushing through and know that better days are ahead. No matter how tough or bleak things may seem, always hold onto hope and believe in yourself. You are capable of overcoming anything that comes your way. Keep in mind these tips and continue to practice self-care, kindness, and positivity during difficult times. You’ll emerge stronger, wiser, and more resilient than ever before.

When you need extra support to get through a challenging time.

If you need additional support or guidance along the way, we’re here for you. Our services provide a safe and nonjudgmental space to work through your struggles and find solutions. Take the first step towards a happier life by reaching out to us today for more information or to schedule a consultation. There is always hope things can improve.

At Maplewood Counseling, we understand the difficulties that come with navigating life and relationships. Our team of experienced professionals is here to offer you support and guidance through compassionate counseling services.

Together, we can work towards finding solutions to your challenges and creating a plan for moving forward in a way that aligns with your values and goals. Don’t hesitate to reach out – let us help you navigate through this rough patch and come out stronger on the other side.

Ready to take the first step? Contact us today and schedule a session with one of our counselors. We’re here for you, every step of the way towards a happier and more fulfilling life.

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When Jealousy Becomes a Habit: Break the Cycle

Relationships

When Jealousy Becomes a Habit: Breaking the Cycle in Relationships

Reviewed by Debra Feinberg LCSW

At Maplewood Counseling, we provide inclusive care for people of all races, cultures, and backgrounds, including interfaith, interracial, BIPOC, LGBTQIA+, and blended families. Our therapists bring lived experiences and specialized training to create a safe, affirming space for all.

When Feelings of Jealousy Just Won’t Quit

Jealousy is a powerful emotion that nearly everyone encounters at some point in a relationship. An occasional feeling of worry or insecurity is completely normal. But what happens when these feelings grow beyond occasional moments and become a constant, overwhelming pattern? When jealousy becomes a recurring habit, it can slowly wear away at the trust, safety, and closeness that are vital to a healthy connection.

Seeing jealousy as a habit—not just a one-off reaction—can be the first step toward regaining a sense of peace and rebuilding your partnership. This is a journey requiring self-awareness and intentional choices, and nobody is expected to travel this path alone. Let’s explore how jealousy can become a habitual response, how it affects relationships of all kinds, and ways to break free for a stronger, healthier bond.

Understanding Jealousy as a Habit

It’s common to feel a twinge of jealousy if your partner talks about a new friend or enjoys an activity without you. But it’s different when checking your partner’s messages, questioning their actions, or needing constant reassurance starts to feel automatic. This is where jealousy shifts from situational to habitual.

Habitual jealousy is a learned, repeated response. Over time, your mind may form shortcuts that trigger suspicious or anxious thoughts in certain situations—like an unexpected text message or changes in your routine together. Often, these patterns aren’t just about your partner’s choices, but can be rooted in personal experiences, past betrayals, or fears of abandonment. They may also be strengthened by low self-esteem or challenging life experiences you have faced. Is any of this sounding familiar? Recognizing these habits is a meaningful and courageous start.

The Impact of Habitual Jealousy on Relationships

When jealousy is an ongoing pattern, it can take an emotional toll on everyone involved. The person feeling jealous may find themselves constantly anxious, searching for hidden meanings or worrying about losing their connection. This state of alertness is exhausting and rarely brings comfort.

For the other person in the relationship, persistent accusations or monitoring can lead to feelings of frustration, distance, or being misunderstood. Over time, this erodes the sense of trust and intimacy—two of the most important elements in any relationship. Sometimes, the behaviors driven by jealousy actually nudge people further apart, unintentionally making worries feel real. Cycles like these can be difficult, but they’re not impossible to change.

Breaking the Cycle of Habitual Jealousy

Although habitual jealousy can feel overwhelming, it is possible to shift these patterns. With patience, self-kindness, and a willingness to try new approaches, positive change can happen. Here are four steps that anyone can take:

Step 1: Recognize the Pattern

The first step is to notice when and how jealousy shows up in your life. Try paying close attention to your feelings and actions. When do you usually feel jealous? Who or what seems to trigger these thoughts? Keeping a private journal can help make these patterns clearer. Self-reflection is not about blame, but about understanding—and awareness gives you the choice to respond differently.

Step 2: Address the Root Causes

Habitual jealousy often grows from deeper sources, such as insecurities from earlier relationships, memories of hurt, or times when trust was broken. Ask yourself: What fears are behind these feelings? Have past experiences made it harder for you to trust? These questions can uncover important insights. Sometimes, talking things through with a professional, trusted friend, or support group makes this process feel safer and more effective.

Step 3: Practice Healthier Responses

When jealousy surfaces, take a moment to slow down. Try a few steady breaths to ground yourself. Can you notice the thought without letting it take control? If you need to talk with your partner, try sharing how you’re feeling—without placing blame. For example, “I’m feeling a little unsure right now and could use some reassurance,” invites understanding. These small changes in communication can help build understanding and reduce conflict.

Step 4: Build Trust and Self-Confidence

Healing longstanding patterns takes time for everyone involved. Building trust starts with honest, open conversations and listening to each other’s needs. It’s also important to nurture your own confidence—take part in activities and hobbies that bring joy and self-fulfillment. The more secure you feel within yourself, the less you’ll rely on external validation, creating more balance in your relationship.

When to Seek Professional Help

Changing long-standing patterns of jealousy can be tough, and it’s perfectly okay to ask for help. If jealousy is frequently causing arguments, emotional pain, or you feel your relationship is at risk, professional support can offer a path forward.

Working with a counselor or therapist can help you understand the deeper layers behind these feelings and provide personalized strategies for handling jealousy. For couples, therapy creates a non-judgmental space to discuss challenging topics, rebuild trust, and learn supportive ways to communicate. No one has to face these challenges alone, and reaching out for support is a positive, courageous step toward healing.

A Path Toward Healing and Connection

Transforming habitual jealousy is an ongoing process, but one that can lead to deeper trust, connection, and peace—both within yourself and your relationship. Positive change is possible, no matter what your history or background might be. You deserve a partnership built on respect, kindness, and security.

If you find yourself stuck in patterns of jealousy and are looking for compassionate support, we’re here to help. Reach out to Maplewood Counseling today to connect with a caring professional and start your journey toward a stronger, more trusting relationship.

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Helpful Resources

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Are You a Good Partner?

Relationships

Are You a Good Partner?

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Are You a Good Partner?

See what it takes here.

What Makes a Good Partner?

In this journey of life, finding a good partner can have a profound impact on our happiness and well-being. But what exactly makes a good partner? What qualities should we be looking for in a potential companion? In this blog post, we will explore the essential aspects that contribute to a healthy and fulfilling partnership. So whether you’re single, in a relationship, or simply curious, let’s dive in and discover what makes a good partner.

Choosing a partner is one of the most important decisions we make in life. A good partner can provide love, support, and companionship, while enriching our lives in countless ways. But what exactly does it mean to be a good partner? Let’s explore the key qualities that contribute to a strong and lasting relationship.

Effective Communication Skills

Effective communication is the foundation of any successful partnership. It involves not only expressing ourselves but also actively listening to our partner. By fostering open and honest communication, we create an environment where both partners feel heard, understood, and valued.

Trust and Honesty

Trust forms the bedrock of a healthy relationship. It is built upon honesty, reliability, and integrity. When we trust our partner, we feel safe and secure, knowing that they have our best interests at heart. Being transparent and trustworthy strengthens the bond between partners and fosters a deep sense of emotional security.

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions, as well as the emotions of our partner. It involves empathy, compassion, and the capacity to navigate complex emotional landscapes. Partners with high emotional intelligence can support each other through challenging times and foster a deep sense of connection and understanding.

Shared Values

While partners may have different personalities and interests, shared values form the foundation of a strong partnership. When our core beliefs, goals, and aspirations align, we can build a life together that is rooted in mutual respect and understanding. Shared values provide a sense of purpose and create a solid framework for decision-making and problem-solving.

Respect

Respect is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. It means valuing each other’s opinions, boundaries, and autonomy. Partners who respect one another treat each other with kindness, consideration, and dignity. They create an environment where both partners feel safe to express themselves authentically and grow as individuals.

Conflict Resolution Skills

No relationship is immune to disagreements or conflicts. However, it’s how we navigate these challenges that determines the strength of our partnership. Good partners possess conflict resolution skills, such as active listening, empathy, and the willingness to find common ground. They approach conflicts with a problem-solving mindset, striving for compromise and maintaining the health of the relationship.

Supportiveness

A good partner is someone who is there for you through thick and thin. They provide emotional support, encouragement, and a shoulder to lean on. Whether it’s celebrating successes or offering a comforting presence during difficult times, a supportive partner is your greatest cheerleader and confidant.

Want to do better?

A good partner possesses a combination of qualities that contribute to a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Effective communication, trust and honesty, emotional intelligence, shared values, respect, conflict resolution skills, and supportiveness create the foundation for a strong and lasting connection.

Relationships are complicated. Remember to embrace these qualities in both ourselves and our partners. If you are able to work on this it will foster a partnership that brings joy, growth, and fulfillment. So, whether you’re in search of a partner or seeking to strengthen your existing relationship, these qualities will help you have a more connected and satisfying relationship.

Remember, building a good partnership takes time, effort, and a willingness to grow together. Some people need couples or marriage counseling (or even individual therapy ) to help them improve and work on these skills. If you need help, reach out.

How to Recognize and Stop Gaslighting

Relationships

Someone Gaslighting You?

Coping with Relationship Gaslighting?

How to Recognize and Stop Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that involves making someone question their own thoughts, feelings, and reality. It often occurs in abusive relationships or toxic environments where the gaslighter wants to gain power and control over their victim.

But how can you recognize if you’re being gaslighted? And more importantly, how can you stop it?

Signs of Gaslighting

Constantly being told that your thoughts and feelings are wrong or invalid.
Doubting your own memory and perception of events.
Feeling confused, overwhelmed, or anxious in the presence of a certain person.
Apologizing excessively for things you didn’t do or say.
Making excuses for the gaslighter’s behavior to others.

How to Stop Gaslighting

Set boundaries and stick to them: Clearly communicate what behavior is not acceptable and enforce your boundaries if they are crossed.
Trust yourself: Don’t let the gaslighter make you doubt your own thoughts and feelings. Trust in your perception of events.
Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend or family member about what

People resort to gaslighting for various reasons, primarily revolving around the desire to maintain control, perpetuate power imbalances, or evade accountability. They often fear losing their position of power, so they manipulate others’ perceptions of reality to keep them second-guessing and reliant. Could you be dealing with someone who is afraid of being challenged or held responsible for their actions? It’s essential to remember, their behavior is not a reflection of your worth or credibility. You deserve to trust in your own experiences and feelings. It’s okay to seek help and step away from manipulative dynamics. You’re not alone in this journey, and there’s support available for you.

The long-term effects of gaslighting can be profoundly damaging, often leading to a diminished sense of self and impaired trust in one’s own judgment. Over time, you may begin to question your own reality and doubt your perceptions, significantly eroding your self-confidence. This constant self-doubt can seep into all areas of your life, making you feel insecure and unsure in making decisions, both big and small. It can also lead to anxiety, depression, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in severe cases.

You might start to isolate yourself, pulling away from family and friends out of a fear of not being believed or understood. But remember, it’s not your fault. You’re not alone and it’s okay to reach out for help. Don’t let the gaslighter’s manipulation cloud your sense of self or your faith in your own experiences. Seeking professional help, like therapy or counseling, can be a crucial step in healing from the long-term effects of gaslighting. Always trust in your strength and resilience – remember, you’ve got this!

If you need help with gaslighting, reach out below.

Work Life Balance for Better Mental Health

Relationships

Work Life Balance Strategies

Help Prioritizing Your Needs

Help Maintaining Work Life Balance

Are you finding it challenging to maintain a healthy balance between your demanding work schedule and personal life? We completely understand how overwhelming it can be when the lines between professional commitments and personal space start to blur. But here’s the good news – you’re not alone in this struggle. Many of us find ourselves trapped in the monotonous cycle of work, eat, sleep, and repeat. However, we firmly believe that establishing a healthy work-life balance is not as daunting as it may seem at first glance.

Allow us to share a few practical tips that we believe can make a significant difference:

Set clear boundaries: It’s crucial to create and maintain clear-cut boundaries between your work and personal life. Whether it means committing to not checking emails during family dinners or establishing specific work hours, taking charge of these boundaries is entirely up to you. By doing so, you can create space and time for the things that matter most outside of work.
Prioritize self-care: Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup. It is vital to dedicate time to activities that refresh and rejuvenate you. Whether it’s engaging in hobbies you love, practicing mindfulness and self-reflection, or simply taking time for relaxation, self-care should be an essential part of your routine. By nourishing your mind, body, and soul, you will have more energy and focus to excel in both your professional and personal life.
Learn to say no: It’s perfectly okay to decline certain meetings or tasks that may not align with your priorities or overwhelm your schedule. Understanding your limits and learning to say no when necessary is a crucial step towards achieving a more balanced life. By doing so, you can create space for the activities and relationships that truly matter to you.
Seek support when needed: If you’re feeling overwhelmed or stretched too thin, remember that it’s okay to ask for help. Whether it means delegating tasks at work or seeking guidance and support from loved ones, sharing the load can alleviate stress and provide a fresh perspective. Remember, you don’t have to face everything on your own, and seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness.

In the pursuit of work-life balance, it’s important to remember that it’s not about achieving perfection. Rather, it’s about creating a lifestyle that brings value, fulfillment, and happiness to your life as a whole. We believe in you and know that you have the resilience, determination, and dedication required to achieve this balance. Embrace the journey, be kind to yourself, and take small steps every day towards a more balanced and fulfilling life.

If you need help managing work life balance and getting to a better place, reach out. We’re here to help.

Coping with Loneliness in Your Life or Relationship

Relationships

Help Coping with Loneliness

Lonely in Your Life or Relationship?

Coping with Loneliness?

Find These Strategies for Connection and Well-being

Loneliness is a universal emotion that can affect anyone, regardless of their relationship status or social circle. It’s important to recognize that loneliness is not a sign of weakness, nor is it solely about being physically alone. You can feel lonely even when surrounded by others, making it a complex and deeply personal experience. In this blog post, we’ll delve into effective strategies for coping with loneliness, fostering connection, and enhancing overall well-being.

The Misconceptions about Loneliness

Before we explore coping strategies, let’s debunk some common misconceptions surrounding loneliness. It’s crucial to understand that loneliness is not indicative of personal inadequacy or failure. It’s a part of the human experience, and anyone can experience it, regardless of their circumstances. Loneliness is not solely about physical isolation; it can be an emotional state that arises even in the presence of others. Lastly, loneliness is not always tied to mental health issues, as it can be a temporary feeling that arises during transitional periods or challenging times in life.

Understanding Loneliness… Beyond Physical Isolation

Loneliness goes beyond physical isolation. It is a deep emotional longing for meaningful connection and belonging. It can occur when our need for social interaction and understanding is not adequately fulfilled. Understanding the distinction between physical isolation and emotional loneliness is crucial in developing effective coping strategies. By recognizing the root causes of our loneliness, we can address them more directly and seek out the right support and connection.

Coping Strategies for Nurturing Connection and Well-being

Mindfulness and Meditation: Cultivate a sense of presence and self-compassion through mindfulness and meditation practices. These techniques can help you develop a deeper understanding of your emotions and provide a grounding anchor during moments of loneliness.
Engaging in Online Communities: Tap into the power of the digital world to connect with like-minded individuals. Join online communities, forums, or social media groups centered around your interests or hobbies. Engaging in discussions and sharing experiences can cultivate a sense of belonging.
Pursuing Hobbies and Skill Development: Explore new hobbies or invest time in activities that bring you joy. Engaging in hobbies not only provides a sense of accomplishment but also opens doors to meet new people who share similar interests.
Incorporating Physical Exercise: Physical exercise has numerous benefits for mental well-being. Engaging in regular physical activity can boost mood, reduce stress, and increase self-confidence. Consider joining group fitness classes or participating in outdoor activities that encourage social interaction.
Seeking Professional Help and Therapy: Sometimes, loneliness can be deeply rooted and difficult to overcome alone. Seeking professional help and therapy can provide invaluable support in navigating feelings of loneliness and developing strategies for building meaningful connections.

The Power of Professional Therapy

Meet Sarah, a young professional who felt overwhelmed by persistent feelings of loneliness. Despite having a busy social life, she struggled to establish deep connections and often felt misunderstood. Seeking support, Sarah decided to explore therapy. Through regular therapy sessions, she gained a deeper understanding of herself, developed healthy coping mechanisms, and learned effective communication skills. Therapy gave her the tools to navigate her emotions, build confidence, and cultivate authentic connections with others. Today, Sarah is thriving, surrounded by a supportive network of friends and loved ones.

Embracing Support and Connection

If you’re experiencing loneliness, it’s essential to remember that you’re not alone in this journey. By acknowledging and addressing your feelings, you’ve taken the first step towards meaningful change. Embrace the coping strategies we’ve discussed, and don’t hesitate to seek support from professionals or loved ones. Remember, connection is a fundamental human need, and by nurturing it, you can create a life filled with meaningful relationships and a stronger sense of belonging. You deserve to feel connected, supported, and valued. Together, let’s navigate the journey toward connection and well-being.

If you’re ready to connect with a licensed therapist, reach out.

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