Maplewood Counseling

Anxiety Treatment New Jersey

Counseling and Resources
Get in Touch
Things Not Going the Way You Expected?

Things Not Going the Way You Expected?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Things Not Going the Way You Want?

Now sure what to do about it?
Get Started

Things Not Going the Way You Want?

Not sure what to do about it?

Things not going according to plan in your life or relationship?

Are you feeling frustrated and unhappy because things aren’t going the way you want them to in your life or relationship? Many situations are unpredictable and relationships are complex, so it’s natural to experience bumps along the way. Life is all about how we handle plan B when things don’t go the way we wanted or expected.

If you find yourself in this situation, know that you are not alone. It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed and unsure of what steps to take next. But don’t let these challenges discourage you – they can actually be opportunities for growth and improvement.

The good news is that there are steps you can take to help get things back on track. Here are some tips to keep in mind when things aren’t going according to plan:

  • Invite yourself to take a step back and reflect on the situation. Ask yourself why things aren’t going according to plan and what you can do to improve the situation.
  • Remember that it’s okay to not have everything figured out. It’s normal to face challenges and setbacks in life, but they don’t define you or your future.
  • Seek support from friends, family, or a professional. It’s always helpful to have someone to talk to and offer guidance during tough times.
  • Take small actions towards your goals every day. Sometimes progress may seem slow, but even small steps can add up over time.

How to manage getting through hard times

During difficult times, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed and lose sight of how to move forward. Here are some additional tips for managing getting through hard times:

  • Practice self-care: It’s important to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being during tough times. Make sure to take care of yourself by eating well, staying hydrated, and engaging in activities that bring you joy or help you relax.
  • Be kind to yourself: Remember that it’s okay to make mistakes and face challenges. Don’t be too hard on yourself and instead offer yourself compassion and understanding.
  • Focus on the present: While it’s natural to worry about the future during tough times, try to focus on the here and now. Take things one day at a time and try not to let anxiety take over.
  • Seek out positive influences: Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. This can be friends, family, or even online communities that share similar interests or experiences.
  • Remember that setbacks are temporary: No matter how difficult things may seem now, know that this too shall pass. Keep reminding yourself that the tough times won’t last forever and there is hope for a brighter future.

Getting through hard times can be challenging but with the right mindset and support, you can overcome any obstacle. Remember to take care of yourself, stay positive, and keep moving forward. And always remember that tough times don’t define you – your resilience and determination do. You got this! So keep pushing through and know that better days are ahead. No matter how tough or bleak things may seem, always hold onto hope and believe in yourself. You are capable of overcoming anything that comes your way. Keep in mind these tips and continue to practice self-care, kindness, and positivity during difficult times. You’ll emerge stronger, wiser, and more resilient than ever before.

When you need extra support to get through a challenging time.

 

If you need additional support or guidance along the way, we’re here for you. Our services provide a safe and nonjudgmental space to work through your struggles and find solutions. Take the first step towards a happier life by reaching out to us today for more information or to schedule a consultation. There is always hope things can improve.

At Maplewood Counseling, we understand the difficulties that come with navigating life and relationships. Our team of experienced professionals is here to offer you support and guidance through compassionate counseling services.

Together, we can work towards finding solutions to your challenges and creating a plan for moving forward in a way that aligns with your values and goals. Don’t hesitate to reach out – let us help you navigate through this rough patch and come out stronger on the other side.

Ready to take the first step? Contact us today and schedule a session with one of our counselors. We’re here for you, every step of the way towards a happier and more fulfilling life.

Get Started

How to Avoid Getting Hooked

How to Avoid Getting Hooked

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships

Get Hooked Easily?

Need Help Managing Your Reactions?

 

Get in Touch with Maplewood Counseling in NJ

Do you get hooked easily?

Getting hooked can lead to some pretty destructive reactions internally and externally regarding interactions with others. This awful feeling can change.

Maplewood Counseling NJ

 

The problem with getting hooked…

 

Many of us get can get hooked when things don’t go the way we want or expect, often resulting in very angry and negative reactions. You’re not alone. Most of us struggle with what to do when situations and people “hook” us. Your partner does something upsetting, your children, a driver pisses you off, your family…all of it can be very challenging.

Getting hooked not only causes problems and unhappiness for you, but for those around you. From a health perspective, getting hooked results in an internal reaction that actually causes a contraction in the body as well, increasing blood pressure and/or heart rate as well. Getting hooked is bad for your mental and physical health. The emotional reactivity from getting hooked can cause a chain reaction leaving you feeling more angry, unhappy, shocked, guilty, misunderstood, and alone.

 

Why is it so important to (work on) not getting hooked?

 

It’s bad for you and those around you. Getting hooked causes a strong, emotional reaction which can cause people to blow up, criticize, name call, devalue, and can destroy close relationships.  It is possible you are misunderstanding others, feelings they did this or that on purpose to cause you to feel so lousy. It is another problem when both people in a relationship get hooked, or even you child pushes back when you get hooked. In the end,  getting hooked can eventually erode your close relationships.

The skill is learning how to work with triggers and eventually containing the response. Pausing for a period of time to interrupt that negative energy and not allow it to pick up. We understand this is not easy and takes practice, but it will improve your life, health, and relationships exponentially over time.

The reality for all of is …life is a series of challenges and there are so many things we cannot control. It’s all about how we handle plan B when things don’t go the way we wanted or expected. Inner peace is the goal regardless of so many external circumstances beyond your control. You can do this and it will make so many things better. Attitude is everything.

 

So how can you work on this? 

 

Developing more awareness is key. When people start to dip into more primitive (unaware or unconscious) ways of functioning, it might lead to acting out in very destructive ways. This can cause ther hooked person to become verbally abusive, yell and scream, name call, criticize, and want the source of your “hook” to hurt the way you are. As it to say “you are making me feel this way- this is your fault”. When people start to dip into the most primitive ways of functioning when they get hooked, thr result is physical violence and abuse. The work is trying to help people come up out of that primitive way of reacting to the difficult or challenging situation (again awarenees and slowing things down is key) , and eventually develop the skills to communicate more effectively. Working on and understanding this will eventually allow you get to healthier responses when dealing with challenges. You deserve more peace and this will help you get there.

 

Start by practicing with the small things. For example, become more aware of your reaction if you spill spomething or if you are in a hurry to get somewhere and you hit every red light on your way. Notice and become aware of what you feel. Slow down and take a deep breath to help you start chanigng the auto-pilot response of anger and “this should not be happening” or “this should not have happened”.  A wiser response to something like this would be understanding that life is a series of challenges, and there are so many things we can’t control. Practicing with the small things will definitely help as well as pracicing the pause.

 

Practice the pause.

 

Although an initial short pause will help slow down and evcntually stop our own reaction, it can take longer for our nervous system and emotional reactivity to subside. Sometimes it can take as much as 20 minutes, sometimes longer. At first, this is challenging since you will be working on developing more awareness and breaking a pattern or habit, but the more you practice, the easier it will be.

The end result will be more peaceful, connected, and accepting relationships and better health overall.

Anyone can develop this skill over time and it will be exponentially rewarding.

 

Need help?

 

Therapy can help you work on reducing your reaction to getting hooked.  If getting hooked is causing big problems in your relationships and or for you personally, please reach out for help.  You can break these painful patterns. We can help.

Need help managing your reactions to challenging people and situations?

 

Have questions for us? Get in touch

Need Help Coping with Emotional Pain?

Need Help Coping with Emotional Pain?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Coping with Painful Emotions
Trauma, Dysregulation, Coping Skills

 

Trying to Cope with Difficult Emotions?
Need Better Way to Manage?

 

Serving Our Community 20+ Years

Get in Touch Today

Get Help Coping with Emotional Pain

Need help managing deep and ongoing emotional pain in your relationship and personal life? You are not alone…

We all have to deal with emotional pain at different points in our lives.  Life unfolds in ways we never expected (or wanted) and finding ways to get throught these painful times is important. Deep emotional pain is the most challenging for us all.

Does this sound familiar?

  • You lost a loved one and feel like you are in the grips of deep sorrow, trauma, shock, and ongoing grief.
  • You are feeling lost after divorce or the end of a relationship and don’t know how to handle your intense emotions.
  • Maybe you’re feel ongoing emotional pain due to problems in your relationship or family.
  • Or are you’re just feeling empty and a deep pain in your gut is painful and hard to manage.

How can you cope better with this deep emotional pain?

Maybe you could use to find better way of managing the pain so you can lessen the impact emotionally and otherwise. Understanding the source of the pain and what to do with it can help. Emotional pain, which is also referred to as the “pain body” (by Eckhart Tolle) and also referred to as old emotional pain or undigested pain, can be extremely challenging to cope with. This type of pain can be very intense and cause strong emotional reactions, especially in relationships. Pain that is “unconscious” (meaning you are unaware of the true source) can cause intense fear, sadness, anger, confusion, or other unpleadsant emotions that are hard to process. Working through emotional pain means becoming more aware and conscious of the difference between the pain and the negative thoughts about the pain which can make things a lot worse for most people.

As therapists, we also experienced emotional pain as well and have to work through our pain, so we really understand how hard it is when going through it. We have a great deal of compassion and help others with their pain by focusing on the difference between emotional pain and the negative houghts about the situation. Negative thoughts make the pain feel worse, so a big part of helping is making people aware of the emotional pain and thoughts about it. Helping people increase their awareness and noticing the pain and trying to accept it’s there without making it into a mental concept, such as, “ this shouldn’t be happening” , “ oh, I’ll never get through this”, “it’s someone else’s fault that I’m feeling this way”. These are all examples of what can make your situation prolonged and much worse for you and others. Many people unortunately take out their uncoscious emotional pain on others since they are not feeling well and assume the reason is something others have done to cause you to feel this way. Others will trigger your old emotinoal pain, but developing the skills to work with the pain without lashing out at others will help tremendously.  You will not be able to work through old pain if you lash out at others.

Helping people process deep emotional pain takes developing more awareness about what’s going on internally in the body and paying attention to and trying to stop negative thoughts and “stories” about the experience. We can help you work on this to find the relief and peace you deserve.

If you are coping with emotional pain right now that’s been hard to manage, reach out and let us help.

Get in Touch

Telehealth Online Counseling Services

Anxiety, Depression, Gay Issues, Grief, Relationships

Telehealth Online Counseling Services

Therapy Sessions Online
Get in Touch

Maplewood Telehealth Online Counseling Services

 

 

Would it be more convenient to do therapy online?

Many clients used telehealth online counseling services instead of in-person counseling at a physical location during the COVID-19 pandemic. In fact, for some people, this service was very effective and provided extra benefits by allowing greater convenience along with more flexibility.

How does teletherapy work?

Just as you make an appointment for an in-office session, you’ll make an appointment to meet online. Through devices such as computers, iPads/tablets, and smartphones, you can have interactive sessions with your therapist. Many online conference tools are available. Software apps such as Zoom, FaceTime, Skype, and Google Meet are a few. You still see each other face-to-face. However, your meeting is virtual.

Can you get as much out of telehealth online counseling as in-person therapy?

As a matter of fact, you can. Your therapist uses the same therapy tools that are used during in-person sessions. According to several of our existing clients who have been in marriage counseling, couples therapy, individual therapy, or family counseling, it is very effective at addressing issues and concerns.

Does the therapy online provide advantages?

There are a number of advantages. For one, you don’t have to drive to the therapist’s office for sessions. You don’t have to deal with scheduling issues, traffic, cost of gas, getting sitters, and much more. In fact, if one partner is at work and the other is at home, the Telehealth session link can bring us all together to work on issues.

Virtual remote therapy is private and secure. Yet, you continue to have a close one-on-one connection with your therapist. Or, if involved in group therapy, your group sessions can also take place online. You’ll still be able to see and hear the other participants in the group.

You may find that therapists can often provide greater accessibility through teletherapy. After all, you both can save time by not having to travel to their office, deal with parking, or arrive late due to traffic.

In addition, there’s an added advantage for clients who feel self-conscious about physically traveling and walking into a therapist’s office. In that respect, you may experience a greater sense of privacy.

Are there extra costs for online therapy?

Typically, no. Costs vary from one therapist to the next. But, most charge the same hourly rates whether in-person or online.

Is there anything you should do to prepare for an online session?

To avoid interruptions, ensure:

  • You have a private, quiet spot for your session
  • Your device is fully charged
  • The location has a strong internet connection

Maplewood Counseling Online

If you visit Psychology Today, you’ll see many therapists are now offering telehealth online services. In fact, you’ll find me listed in their teletherapy directory.

Want to give it a try?

Give us a call or text at 973-793-1000 to discuss setting up an online session. While some people might miss the feel of an in-person encounter, other people prefer the advantages of online counseling. Try it out and see. Discover for yourself if it’s right for you.

Have questions for us? Get in touch

Trauma Therapy Help You Recover from PTSD

Trauma Therapy Help You Recover from PTSD

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Therapist

Trauma Therapy

Help with PTSD using EMDR

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

How EMDR Trauma Therapy Help You

PTSD Treatment with Excellent Results for Many People

In terms of trauma therapy, EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing. It’s a long phrase. But broken down, you can understand better what it means. It’s a type of trauma therapy that uses eye movement while recalling a traumatic experience. The treatment addresses portions of the incident at a time. And it desensitizes the experience. In other words, it lessens your emotional and physical reaction to it.

When anyone experiences trauma, there are typically three reactive responses: fight, flight or freeze. All three are very uncomfortable responses. Fight triggers aggressive emotions like anger or antagonism. Flight immerses you in fear—you can’t escape fast enough. And freeze—well, that’s awful too because freeze traps you in numbness or fear, making you feel powerless. Meanwhile the threat continues, consuming all of your energy and attention.

Long after the trauma is over, the negative emotions and memory of it can remain. PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) is often the result. In everyday life, when a stressor triggers the trauma, you keep reliving the negative responses. These responses impact your life in one form or another.

Are you a candidate for EMDR?

Here are some questions that may help you consider whether EMDR might be right for you:

  • Have you ever faced a life threatening situation that left you depressed, afraid or numb afterward?
  • Has a doctor diagnosed you with PTSD?
  • Have you experienced PTSD as a result of serious medical problems, war or mass violence, sexual assault, a natural disaster or a car accident?
  • Are you having flashbacks or nightmares?
  • Do guilty, angry or worrisome feelings linger and bother you?
  • Do you have out-of-body experiences where the world doesn’t seem real anymore?
  • Did you experience something terrible that stripped you of all your confidence and you’ve never been the same since?
  • Is anxiety or depression a pressing problem?
  • Do you suffer from panic attacks?

How does EMDR work?

The therapist targets a particular traumatic experience for processing. Then, you follow the horizontal movement of their finger while recalling part of the traumatic experience. Or the therapist may use hand tapping or audio stimuli instead of trauma therapy eye movement.

The treatment unblocks you and frees you from the trauma. This allows healing to take place. Given the chance, it is natural for your mind to heal.

EMDR was developed 25 years ago and since then millions of people have experienced success using this treatment. Here are some EMDR statistics from various studies:

  • 84%-90% of single-trauma victims no longer experienced PTSD after three 90-minute sessions
  • 100% of single-trauma victims and 77% of multiple trauma victims were no longer diagnosed with PTSD after six 50 minute sessions.
  • 77% of combat veterans overcame PTSD in 12 sessions

Of course we can’t promise a particular result. Even so, the success this type of treatment has brought to many people is encouraging. Also, some people have said they ended up feeling empowered by the end of the therapy. They felt stronger, more present, more transformed.

Find out more about EMDR trauma therapy

We’re glad to answer your questions. Our NJ trauma therapist can explain the EMDR therapy approach in greater depth.

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

Maplewood Counseling
Offering Online & In-person Sessions
169 Maplewood Ave Suite 4
Maplewood, NJ 07040
Call Now (973) 793-1000