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Relationship Skills for Couples

NJ Couples Counseling

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Maplewood Counseling
Debra Feinberg, LCSW
Essex County New Jersey

Maplewood Counseling
Debra Feinberg LCSW
169 Maplewood Ave Suite 4
Maplewood, NJ 07040
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Relationship Skills for Couples

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Important Relationship Skills – The Gift of Listening

There are some very important relationship skills that will help couples communicate in more effective ways to create a more meaningful and satisfying connection.

Listening is a rare skill and one of the most important gifts you can give another person. Therefore, If you are not good at listening too one another, it can cause painful disconnect over time. Most importantly, if you both are open and willing, there are some things you can do now that will help you improve your relationship and do what you spouse or partner really wants instead of what you think he or she wants.

Do you have a tendency to give advice and try to fix things when your spouse or partner is sad, upset or angry? Do you just want to vent about your concerns and have your partner just be there and listen? Because, when he or she tries to “fix” your situation rather than listen, you know how bad that really feels. When your partner or spouse or even child is struggling, do you feel like you have to fix something?

The problem with giving advice

Most people do not want advice – it is different if they are actually asking for advice. Therefore, listening – really listening without trying to fix anything is what most people need and want. The minute you decide the person needs your advice can be extremely painful for that person and lead to feeling misunderstood or feeling alone.

The Gift of listening

Listening – true listening is a rare skill and one of the greatest gift you can give another human being. When a person comes to you with any type of struggle, the best way to be there is to listen. To actually make it safe enough for them to express a range of emotions or concerns without interruption and advice, is what will make a huge difference in any relationship. Listening and allowing space for the person to really express their struggle with an empathetic, attentive ear ( rather than trying to solve a problem) is all you need to do for one another.

If you need help developing one of the most important relationship skills – listening instead of advising, get in touch. You may mean well by advising, but if you really want to be there, you can learn what the other person really wants from you.

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