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Couples & Marriage Counseling NJ

Families, Couples, Individuals

Maplewood Counseling

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Maplewood Counseling
Debra Feinberg, LCSW
Essex County New Jersey

Maplewood Counseling
Debra Feinberg LCSW
169 Maplewood Ave Suite 4
Maplewood, NJ 07040
Call Now (973) 902-8700


Contact Maplewoood Counseling



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Are You Judgmental and Critical?

Are You Judgmental and Critical?

Taming the inner critic

Judging others and criticizing can cause a lot of unhappiness for everyone. When you judge someone, you are viewing things from you own perspective and experiences.  What you don’t understand makes some men and women view something as right or wrong, good or bad, etc…

If you are judgmental of others, most likely you judge yourself. Usually childhood conditioning and parents that were very judgmental and critical are how that inner critic develops. Sometimes a person who did not have critical parents developed the inner critic because they are perfectionists – they want things to go a certain way and when they don’t, they are hard on themselves (and others).

If you are hard on yourself and judge yourself harshly, that is most likely how you will relate to others. In some cases, you might feel like you’re really helping and it will get you more of what you want and need, but there are much more effective ways to handle things.

Ultimately, reflecting on where you developed this negative thinking will be helpful. Taming your own inner critic is the best place to start. A good therapist can help you become more aware of and pay attention to your own thinking and help you figure out better ways to manage rather than acting out and criticizing yourself and others.

Are you judgmental and critical? Does this sound familiar?

  • You are super critical of others – your spouse, children – and it makes everyone unhappy
  • You know it doesn’t feel good to be so hard on yourself and others but you sincerely don’t know how to stop
  • You can tell the criticism is not making your partner or kids want to spend time with you or be close to you
  • You feel alone and very unhappy
  • You fear how you are treating others will end up very bad for you
  • You’ve been hearing your spouse or partner so for a long time they’re not happy and they don’t want to put up with it

Taming the inner critic takes work. Changing the habit and you’re thinking is something that will be very worthwhile and bring more peace and connection to your life. It will take time so being realistic about change is important.

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