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Need Help Letting Go?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Mindfulness Counseling NJ

Help Letting Go

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The Benefit of Letting Go | Mindfulness Counseling

Letting go will of an inner struggle or conflict can eventually bring you peace and acceptance to your life. It is not easy for many people to let go since it usually means facing something painful. You sometimes have ti go into the fire to get to a better place.

Trying to let go of something painful? Does this sound familiar?

  • You been hanging on to resentment that is hurting you and others in your life.
  • You haven’t been able to resolve something in your life or relationship that causes you on going anger and pain
  • You’re having trouble letting go of a bad marriage or relationship?
  • You may have a strong need to control others and make things happen a certain way?
  • You have tremendous anxiety and resist things that you can’t control.

Some people will benefit greatly from learning to accept they need to let go of difficult circumstances with kindness and manage the emotions that arise.

It can be very frightening and anxiety producing to move forward. Letting go can also mean you have to allow yourself to process painful emotions, which is incredibly important. Why? Avoidance will only prolong the agony. What you resist will persist and causes you and sometimes others more and unnecessary suffering.

Learning to manage emotions with letting go is the first step. It means instead of hanging on to resentments, anger and negative circumstances to avoid what will surface, you start to see the value in gradually accepting Things, circumstances and people you cannot change.

If you need help letting go, find an experience, compassionate and understanding therapist that can help you move in this direction

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

In An Estranged Relationship?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

 

In a Estranged Relationship?
Need Counseling NJ

Couples and Individual Therapy

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Coping with an Estranged Relationship?

What is an estranged relationship? Estranged implies a loss of affection, distance and instead of turning to your spouse or partner, turning away. If you have been feeling unhappy and disconnected for a long time, it can create a tremendous amount distance and even hostility.

Are you living under the same roof and feeling trapped? Feeling there are no good options for dealing with your disconnect? Most importantly, it is having a huge impact on everyone’s emotional and physical well-being?

Estranged Relationship | Still Living Together?

Are these your circumstances?

  • We sleep in separate rooms and have for a long time
  • We hardly speak to one another
  • You are estranged from a child, parent or other family member
  • Our children are fully aware of how bad things are
  • We argue and there are verbal insults and hostility
  • At times, we fight in front of our children
  • I don’t love my spouse anymore and even feel like I hate him/her
  • It’s so obvious to everyone we can’t stand each other anymore
  • We cannot afford to separate now
  • We stay together for the sake of the children

So, what should you do? At the very least, you can seek counseling to talk about and process your feelings about the disconnect. Understanding what you can and cannot do is important. Some relationships can be repaired eventually of both parties – whether with a spouse, child or other family member. And other situations may take working with you r own sadness and anger to process and finally come twosome type of acceptance if the situation so you can feel more peace.

An estranged relationship can cause a lot of pain and be challenges for both parties. Forgiveness takes one and you will do this for your own sake, but reconciliation takes two. You cannot reconcile and estranged relationship unless the other person is open. In the meantime, if you are struggling with this type of situation, it might help to talk to a professional.

Get in touch with us if you need to talk.

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

Feeling Overwhelmed and Alone?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Feel Overwhelmed and Lonely?

Find Tips Here to Help You Cope

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Feeling Overwhelmed and Alone? Here’s How to Cope and Reconnect

It’s not uncommon to feel overwhelmed and alone. Whether it’s the weight of work deadlines, the stress of parenting, or simply feeling distanced from others, these emotions can creep in without warning. They’re universal, yet deeply personal. The hustle of daily life often leaves little room to pause and reflect, making it easy to feel isolated amidst the noise.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many young professionals, single parents, couples, and solo entrepreneurs face similar struggles. This post will explore the causes of overwhelm and loneliness, share signs to help you identify them, and—most importantly—offer practical strategies to overcome these feelings.

Signs of Overwhelm and Loneliness

Recognizing what you’re experiencing is the first step to regaining control. Here are some common signs of overwhelm and loneliness to watch out for in yourself or those around you:

Signs of Overwhelm

  • Trouble Focusing: Difficulty concentrating or making even small decisions.
  • Physical Fatigue: Chronic tiredness even when you’ve had enough sleep.
  • Mood Swings: Feeling irritable, anxious, or persistently frustrated.
  • Withdrawal: Avoiding tasks, responsibilities, or social interactions.

Signs of Loneliness

  • Social Disconnection: Feeling disconnected even in a room full of people.
  • Low Self-Worth: Thoughts that nobody truly understands or cares about you.
  • Changes in Sleep or Appetite: Sleeping too much or too little, eating for comfort or losing interest in food.

These signs aren’t just temporary dips—they can affect your mental and physical health if left unaddressed.

Causes of Overwhelm and Loneliness

Understanding what’s causing these feelings is critical to overcoming them. They often stem from various interlinked factors, such as these common contributors:

Work Pressure

Burnout is real. Navigating deadlines, performance goals, and long work hours can leave little time for rest or relationships.

Personal Challenges

Whether you’re a single mom balancing life or a solo entrepreneur hustling for success, personal setbacks can amplify feelings of inadequacy or isolation.

Social Isolation

Not every relationship is as fulfilling as it could be. Changes like moving cities, a breakup, or even subtle social distancing from friends can quietly create a sense of loneliness.

Being aware of the root can help you better address and manage the emotions.

Coping Strategies

Here’s the good news—feeling overwhelmed and alone doesn’t have to last forever. With the right steps, you can regain your footing.

1. Practice Self-Care

Prioritize your well-being by dedicating time for yourself.

  • Take a short break when tasks get too stressful.
  • Try mindful activities like meditation, yoga, or simply deep-breathing exercises.
  • Spend time outdoors. Sunshine and fresh air work wonders for mental clarity.

2. Seek Support

You don’t have to go through this alone. Open up to trusted friends or family members about how you’re feeling. You’d be surprised how many people are ready to listen and help.

3. Set Boundaries

If overwhelm stems from work or personal demands, learn to say no. Protect your time by creating boundaries that prioritize your mental health.

4. Manage Your Time

Keep a planner or use digital tools to streamline tasks. Breaking big projects into smaller steps can make them feel less daunting.

Small changes in these areas add up and can significantly reduce your stress over time.

Personal Stories and Testimonials

Sometimes, hearing how others have navigated similar feelings provides comfort—and practical advice.

  • Sarah, Young Professional: “I used to bottle up stress, thinking I could deal with it myself. Once I started journaling and talking to a mentor, I found clarity and a sense of connection I hadn’t felt in months.”
  • Michael, Solo Entrepreneur: “I felt spread so thin trying to do it all. But hiring a virtual assistant and focusing on what mattered most to my business taught me the power of delegation.”

These are just a few examples that show how self-awareness and small changes can lead to meaningful improvement.

Building a Support System

A strong support network is invaluable, especially during rough patches. But creating that network takes intentionality.

  • Connect with People: Attend local meetups, community events, or online groups that share your interests.
  • Professional Support: Don’t hesitate to seek help from therapists or counselors. They can provide tailored strategies to help you cope.
  • Establish Regular Check-Ins: Stay connected with friends and family. Even a 15-minute phone call can bridge the gap.

Your community doesn’t have to be big to be impactful—authentic connections make all the difference.

The Role of Technology in Combatting Loneliness

Technology can be both a blessing and a challenge when it comes to loneliness.

The Good

  • Accessibility: Virtual meetups and chats make it easier to stay connected even if you’re far from loved ones.
  • Resources: Apps offering guided meditations, mood tracking, and time management can provide help at your fingertips.

The Not-So-Good

  • Social media can sometimes exacerbate feelings of comparison or isolation. To make it work for you, be intentional: unfollow accounts that trigger negativity and engage with communities built around positivity and shared interests.

Used wisely, technology can help bridge emotional distances and foster meaningful connections.

Adopting a Positive Outlook for the Future

While these immediate coping strategies can alleviate feelings of overwhelm and loneliness, long-term progress lies in adopting a positive mindset and being proactive about your mental wellness.

  • Commit to ongoing personal growth, be it learning new skills or exploring hobbies that bring you joy.
  • Celebrate small victories, even the smallest steps, like making one new friend or completing a task you’ve been procrastinating.
  • Seek out workshops, books, and communities that empower you to build resilience.

If you’re still unsure where to start, know that there are countless resources and communities dedicated to mental health and emotional well-being. You’re not alone—and your next, more peaceful chapter could be closer than you think.

Take the First Step Towards Reconnection

Recognizing and addressing your feelings of overwhelm and loneliness is a form of self-care. Feeling this way doesn’t mean you’re weak; it means you’re human.

Start by trying just one or two strategies from this list to ease the burden. What works for one person might look different for another, so explore and tailor the solutions to suit your lifestyle.

If yoiu need help coping with overwhelm and overcoming loneliness, reach out.

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Depression Affecting Your Relationship?

Depression Affecting Your Relationship?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Is Depression Impacting Your Relationship? 

Tips on What to Do

 

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Is Depression Impacting Your Relationship?

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When Depression Impacts Your Relaitonship

Maplewood Counseling Therapist for Couples

Is Depression Impacting Your Relationship?

Living with depression can feel like navigating a storm, and when you’re in a relationship, it’s a storm that both partners must weather. It can cast a shadow over everything, making connection feel distant and leaving both of you feeling lost. You might wonder if your relationship can survive the strain. It’s a valid concern, and it’s one you don’t have to face alone.

Understanding how depression impacts a partnership is the first step toward finding a path forward. This article will explore the ways depression can show up in your relationship, affect communication and intimacy, and take an emotional toll. Most importantly, we will provide guidance on how to support each other and where to turn for help.

How Depression Impacts a Relationship

Depression isn’t just a feeling of sadness; it’s a persistent mental health condition that can change how a person thinks, feels, and behaves. When one or both partners are dealing with depression, the entire dynamic of the relationship can shift. The once easy and joyful connection can become strained, filled with misunderstanding and frustration.

It’s common for the partner without depression to feel helpless, confused, or even resentful. They may misinterpret their partner’s withdrawal as a lack of love or interest. Meanwhile, the partner with depression is often wrestling with feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and overwhelming fatigue, making it difficult to engage in the relationship as they once did. Recognizing these challenges is crucial for building empathy and finding a way to move forward together.

Common Signs in Your Partnership

Depression manifests differently for everyone, but there are common signs you might notice within your relationship. Seeing these signs is not about placing blame; it’s about understanding what’s happening so you can address it with compassion.

  • Emotional Distance: One partner may seem withdrawn, distant, or emotionally unavailable. They might stop sharing their feelings or seem uninterested in yours.
  • Increased Irritability: Small disagreements can quickly escalate into major fights. The partner with depression may have a shorter fuse or seem constantly on edge.
  • Loss of Interest in Shared Activities: Hobbies and activities you once enjoyed together may fall by the wayside. The desire to go out, see friends, or even spend quality time at home can diminish.
  • Changes in Physical Intimacy: A decreased libido is a common symptom of depression. This can lead to a lack of physical affection and intimacy, creating further distance between partners.
  • Shift in Responsibilities: The non-depressed partner might find themselves taking on more household chores, emotional labor, and decision-making, which can lead to burnout and resentment.

If these signs feel familiar, know that you are not alone. Many couples face these exact struggles. The key is to recognize them not as signs of a failing relationship, but as symptoms of an illness that requires care and attention.

The Toll on Communication and Intimacy

At the heart of any strong partnership are communication and intimacy. Depression can directly undermine both, creating a cycle of disconnection that is difficult to break.

Communication Breakdown

Healthy communication requires energy, focus, and emotional vulnerability—all of which depression can deplete. A partner with depression may struggle to articulate their feelings, often because they are overwhelmed or don’t understand them themselves. This can lead to silence and withdrawal.

Conversely, they might express their pain through anger, criticism, or negativity, which can feel like a personal attack to the other partner. The non-depressed partner may start walking on eggshells, avoiding certain topics to prevent an argument or an emotional shutdown. This breakdown in open, honest dialogue can leave both individuals feeling profoundly lonely within the relationship.

Fading Intimacy

Intimacy is more than just physical; it’s the emotional closeness, the shared jokes, the quiet moments of understanding. Depression can create a wall that blocks this connection. The person experiencing depression might feel unworthy of love or affection, pushing their partner away. Their self-esteem may be so low that they can’t accept or reciprocate loving gestures.

For the other partner, repeated attempts to connect that are met with rejection or indifference can be deeply hurtful. Over time, they may stop trying, fearing more pain. This erosion of both physical and emotional intimacy can be one of the most painful consequences of depression in a relationship.

How to Support Each Other and Move Forward

When depression enters a relationship, it can feel like an unwelcome third party. But it doesn’t have to be the end of your story. With patience, empathy, and the right support, you can learn to navigate this challenge together and even strengthen your bond.

Practice Open and Compassionate Communication

It’s essential to create a safe space to talk about what’s happening. Instead of making accusations, use “I” statements to express your feelings. For example, instead of saying “You never want to do anything with me anymore,” try “I feel lonely and miss spending time with you.” This approach is less likely to trigger defensiveness and opens the door for a more honest conversation. Listen without judgment and validate each other’s feelings, even if you don’t fully understand them.

Educate Yourselves About Depression

Understanding depression as a medical condition can help depersonalize its effects. Read books, look at reliable online resources, and learn about the symptoms and treatments. This knowledge can foster empathy and reduce blame. When the non-depressed partner understands that irritability or withdrawal is a symptom, not a personal failing, it becomes easier to respond with compassion instead of anger.

Support, Don’t Fix

If your partner has depression, it’s natural to want to fix the problem. However, your role is not to be their therapist. Your role is to be their supportive partner. Encourage them to seek professional help, and offer to assist them in finding a therapist or going to appointments. Celebrate small victories, like getting out of bed on a tough day or completing a small task. Your unwavering support can make a world of difference.

Prioritize Self-Care

Supporting a partner with depression can be emotionally draining. It is vital that the non-depressed partner prioritizes their own well-being. Make time for your hobbies, connect with friends, and consider seeking your own therapist. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s necessary for you to continue being a supportive partner.

You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone

Dealing with depression in a relationship is a significant challenge, and it’s okay to ask for help. Professional counseling can provide you with the tools and guidance to navigate this difficult time. A therapist can help the partner with depression manage their symptoms while also helping both of you improve communication, rebuild intimacy, and develop healthy coping strategies as a couple.

At Maplewood Counseling, we provide a safe, non-judgmental space for couples to transform their challenges into opportunities for growth. Our experienced therapists understand the complex interplay between depression and relationships and are here to guide you with empathy and expertise.

If you recognize your relationship in this article, please know that hope and healing are possible. Taking the first step can be the hardest part, but it leads to a path of reconnection and understanding.

Ready to strengthen your partnership and navigate these challenges together? Reach out to Maplewood Counseling today to schedule a consultation. We are here to help you reignite your bond and build a healthier, more connected future.

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Parent of a Struggling Child?

Parent of a Struggling Child?

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Parenting Counseling

Parent of a Struggling Child?
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Parent of a Struggling Child?

Do you feeling sad about what your child is going through? Are you feeling unable to find ways to effectively help your child?

When you’re a parent of a struggling child, it’s incredibly painful. Especially if the struggle seems to be ongoing and lasts for a period of time. Also, it can make you feel powerless, upset and even depressed. Maybe you’ve tried to help, offer advice or even resorted to criticizing your child in an attempt to make their situation better.

Parenting struggles with an adult or younger child

Do you have an adult son or daughter that is struggling? Are they dealing with life challenges that are also causing emotional pain, anger or fear? Is that affecting you?  Do you have a younger child that is struggling? Do you feel angry and disappointed with your child?

Does this sound familiar?

Mental health issues – Your child struggles with anxiety, depression, bipolar OCD  or a a serious mential health dianosis, such as psychosis or schizophrenia . Maybe they are in therapy or seeing a psychiatrist to try and manage and maybe they’re not open to treatment yet. Their behavior may be very hard for you as well.
 
Relationships – You don’t like the person your child is dating or married to. You have a hard time not making it known and it causes tension and stress in your family. Your child is in a gay or lesbian relationship and you struggle accepting his or her lifestyle.
 
Behavioral issues –   You’re younger child acts and it causes problem at home and in school.  It causes a lot of stress in the family and it is exhausting and overwhelming.
 
Sexuality – You child is gay, lesbian or transgender or identifies as bi or pansexual? Is it is hard to accept the lifestyle and support your child? Does you child feel isolated and struggle with sexuality or gender identity?
 
Dependency  –  Is an adult child having trouble launching? Do you wonder how to help? Do you feel he or she is being lazy or taking advantage of you? Do you fight with your spouse about how to handle the situation (one of you wants to make your child leave and the other doesn’t)?
 
Illness – Is your daughter or son dealing with serious, chronic or other illness? Have they been injured and are recovering and you are the caregiver? Are they struggling with serious mental illness such as schizophrenia, bipolar, psychosis or another severe mental illness?

 

Being the parent of a struggling child can be very challenging. Some situations trigger sad and powerless feeling and others trigger anger and disappointment.  Knowing how to cope with your own emotional reactions will help. If you are looking for help, get in touch.

Contact Maplewoood Counseling

 

Relationship Deal Breakers

Relationship Deal Breakers

Anxiety, Depression, Grief, Relationships

Understanding Relationship Deal Breakers

Helping Couples & Individuals Figure Things Out

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Understanding Relationship Deal Breakers

 

Relationship deal breakers, according to Terry Real, relationship expert and founder of RLT Relational Life Therapy, can make or break your relationship. It is important to understand these if you are going to be able to improve your marriage or relationship. As a result, you will want to know what gets in the way of creating a healthy and more connected relationship. More importantly, if certain issues are not addressed it may lead to divorce or a break-up. There is only so much one person can do on their own to fix things.

What are Deal Breakers for Couples?

Firstly, if one partner has an untreated mental health issue.  Possibly depression, anxiety, bipolar, OCD or another mental diagnosis can be causing that person to suffer. As a result, it can affect the relationship. Also, you or your spouse or partner may not know there is a diagnosis or may not want to ask about it. Maybe you think your wife or husband suffers and it affects the relationship, but he or she is not willing to get help. It is not an easy subject to broach since no-one wants to feel like the “identified problem”. However, untreated mental health issues can make it very difficult to effectively work on your marriage or relationship.

Secondly, if one partner acts out sexually or is aggressive physically. Couples therapy is contraindicated and should not be used when there is domestic violence. If your partner acts out physically, then he or she needs to get help through a domestic violence program to address acting out anger in physically aggressive ways. Domestic violence is a legal issue, not a relationship issue. You cannot resolve your issue if it is not safe enough for both people to express their honest feelings about issues. Also, if your spouse or partner acts out sexually with infidelity, prostitutes, massage parlors, or online cheating, this must stop if the relationship can heal.

Finally, if you don’t or never loved your partner or want out.  So, if you got married young, to please a parent, your spouse or because of a pregnancy, and you never loved your spouse, it may not be possible to create a loving connection. Terry Real says he would rather see one partner let go of the other so he or she can find someone that can love them.  Also, if one person wants out and they are 100% done, they may come to therapy to get help ending the relationship. Maybe they feel badly about the pain they are causing by wanting to separate and get divorced, but it is a relationship deal breaker if both people are not invested in the trying to make it work.

Things that will be a huge challenge for couples and can also break your relationship are :

  • Lack of communication:

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Without effective communication, misunderstandings can arise and lead to conflicts. It’s important for both partners to keep an open line of communication and be able to express their thoughts, feelings, and needs without fear or judgment.

  • Disrespect:

Respect is a fundamental aspect of any successful relationship. Without respect, the relationship can quickly deteriorate. This includes respecting each other’s boundaries, opinions, and feelings. If one partner constantly disrespects the other, it can create resentment and damage the trust in the relationship.

  • Infidelity:

Infidelity is a major breach of trust in a relationship. Whether it’s emotional or physical, cheating can cause irreparable damage to a relationship. It’s important for both partners to be faithful and committed to each other in order for the relationship to thrive.

  • Lack of trust:

Trust is a crucial component of any healthy relationship. Without trust, there will always be doubts and insecurities that can lead to conflicts and even breakups. Building and maintaining trust takes time and effort from both partners, but it is necessary for a strong and lasting relationship.

  • Control issues:

Being overly controlling or possessive can also harm a relationship. No one wants to feel like they are constantly being monitored or have their actions dictated by their partner. It’s important for both individuals in a relationship to have their own autonomy and trust in each other’s decision making.

  • Neglect:

Neglecting your partner’s needs, whether it be emotional or physical, can create a rift in the relationship. It’s important for both partners to prioritize each other and make time for one another. Neglect can lead to feelings of loneliness and resentment, ultimately driving a wedge between partners.

  • Lack of effort:

Relationships require effort from both parties. If one person is constantly putting in all the effort while the other becomes complacent, it can cause strain on the relationship. Both individuals should be willing to put in the work to keep the relationship strong and healthy.

  • Incompatibility:

Sometimes despite our best efforts, relationships just don’t work out due to incompatibilities. This can be in terms of values, goals, or personalities. It’s important for both individuals to recognize when a relationship is not working and be willing to accept it and move on, rather than trying to force something that isn’t meant to be.

  • Lack of compromise:

Compromise is necessary in any relationship as no two people will agree on everything all the time. Without compromise, conflicts may arise and create tension between partners. Both individuals should be open to finding a middle ground and understanding each other’s perspectives.

  • Poor conflict resolution:

Conflicts are inevitable in any relationship, but how they are resolved can make or break a relationship. If conflicts are not handled properly, they can escalate and cause more damage. It’s important for both partners to be able to communicate effectively, listen to each other, and find a resolution that works for both parties.

  • Financial problems:

Money can also be a source of strain in a relationship if not managed properly. Disagreements over finances, debt, and spending habits can cause conflicts. It’s important for couples to have open and honest discussions about money, set financial goals together, and find ways to manage their finances as a team.

It’s essential for couples to be aware of these potential issues in order to prevent them from breaking their relationship. Communication, respect, trust, effort, and compromise are key factors in maintaining a healthy and successful relationship. Both individuals should continuously work on these aspects and address any issues that arise in a timely and effective manner to keep their relationship strong and thriving.

Money can also be a source of strain in a relationship if not managed properly. Disagreements over finances, debt, and spending habits can cause conflicts. It’s important for couples to have open and honest discussions about money, set financial goals together, and find ways to manage their finances as a team.

It’s essential for couples to be aware of these potential issues in order to prevent them from breaking their relationship. Communication, respect, trust, effort, and compromise are key factors in maintaining a healthy and successful relationship. Both individuals should continuously work on these aspects and address any issues that arise in a timely and effective manner to keep their relationship strong and thriving.

Call us if you need help figuring out how to handle any of these relationship deal breakers.

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