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Maplewood Counseling

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Maplewood Counseling
Debra Feinberg, LCSW
Essex County New Jersey

Maplewood Counseling
Debra Feinberg LCSW
169 Maplewood Ave Suite 4
Maplewood, NJ 07040
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Forgiving Yourself for Mistakes | We All Make Mistakes

Do you struggle with forgiving yourself for mistakes? Do you have trouble forgiving others? We all make mistakes – in our relationships, with our parents, children and at work. It is not easy to accept you did not handle things the “right” way – and it is even more difficult to know that your actions may have hurt someone else. Struggling with forgiveness can cause a tremendous amount of suffering and learning how to forgive can be very challenging for many of us.

Having compassion for yourself and others…

Is this you?

  • you’re going through a divorce or break-up, and anger and grief are not allowing you to handle things the way you’d like
  • you do not treat your spouse or partner in a loving or respectful way and it hurts you both (and sometimes your kids)
  • you hurt your spouse or partner and yourself by getting involved in an affair
  • you made a mistake at work that put your job at risk or ended up hurting someone
  • you are a perfectionist and can be very demanding and unforgiving of yourself and others
  • you made a bad relationship choice that has caused you (and others) a great deal of pain
  • you’re having trouble forgiving yourself for mistakes you’ve made with your children or your ex
  • making mistakes has made you feel shame and guilt, which has made you isolate and pull away from friends and family
  • you made mistakes with your children, or were absent in their lives through difficult experiences

Forgiving yourself for mistakes (or someone else) may mean making yourself vulnerable, opening up, having compassion, dealing with shame or guilt, and just trying to understand. It may mean admitting and apologizing for being human and imperfect. You have a lot of company in that department – and you will experience compassion and understanding more from those who realize and know what it is like to make mistakes. We all do it.

You may need help getting there, but we all benefit from forgiving ourselves and others for making mistakes.

Brene Brown, in this very popular TED talk, discusses Vulnerability, Shame, Guilt and Making Mistakes


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